33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty - We Are The Mighty
Humor

33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

For the first few months of military service, we go through some pretty intense training during the week, and maybe we have to pull duty on a weekend.


So, when a holiday approaches and the commanding officer awards your unit a 96-hour liberty, you’d better take advantage.

Related: 22 things every boot has done but will never, ever admit

Check out what many young troops do on their first 96-hour liberty away from the base.

1. When everyone is told, their 96-hour liberty has been approved at the same time.

Best news ever! (Images via Giphy)

2. How you caught a ride to leave the base.

Stuntin’ 101. (Images via Giphy)

3. What it feels like walking into your hotel room

All mine. (Images via Giphy)

4. What you look like drinking your first beer in months and can finally take a shower by yourself.

It tastes so good. (Images via Giphy)

5. How you looked properly preparing yourself for an evening out with the boys

Need to buff those floors. (Images via Giphy)

6. How awesome you felt drinking with your new military friends

I feel so cool doing a fourth wall break. (Images via Giphy)

7. That moment when you notice a female troop for the first time out of uniform, and she’s hot

Holy sh*t! (Images via Giphy)

8. After a few hours of partying, you start showing off your boot camp muscle gains

“I have the power.” (Images via Giphy)

9. Eating that first real hamburger after getting the beer munchies

So good. (Images via Giphy)

10. Trying to sleep after drinking way too much the first night

“I thought I was supposed to pass right out.” (Images via Giphy)

11. Waking up with a hangover and you need a quick pick-me-up to start the day

Coffee was meant to be ingested, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

12. Thinking for something fun to do after you recovered from your hangover

I’m so bored. (Images via Giphy)

13. When you’re replying to all those Facebook messages for the first time in months

So many messages. (Images via Giphy)

14. When your boys invite you to come to the local dance club

Gotta practice. (Images via Giphy)

15. How you think you’re dancing at the club after a few drinks

Just like back at home. (Images via Giphy)

16. How you’re really dancing at the club after those drinks

How do I look? (Images via Giphy)

17. When you find some girl who actually said “sure”

It’s a new world record. (Images via Giphy)

18. What your conscience is trying to tell you before it’s too late

“Shut up brain.” (Images via Giphy)

19. Waking up next to that girl who said “sure” and she’s not what you remembered

Beer goggles are real. (Images via Giphy)

20.  Making your escape

Shh! (Images via Giphy)

21. Getting made fun of by your boys for hooking up with her the next morning

You had it coming. (Images via Giphy)

22. Your reaction

Damn. (Images via Giphy)

23. When the group plans an evening at the strip club after dinner

Cheers. (Images via Giphy)

24. But you really want to go now

Run! (Images via Giphy)

25. Then you get hammered at the strip club

Not that hammer, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

26. When your guys find the first stripper who appears interested

“We so had her!” (Images via Giphy)

27. Then the gents get kicked out of the strip club

I guess we weren’t allowed to touch? (Images via Giphy)

28. Then someone drunkenly jokes saying “you’re not tough enough to get a tattoo”

That’s a good one bro. (Images via Giphy)

29. Then follows it up by saying “no balls”

Wait. What? (Images via Giphy)

30. Waking up the next morning with an unwanted tattoo

Sh*ttiest tattoo ever. (Images via Giphy)

31. Stay in the hotel room for the whole day and think about all the money you wasted

What was I thinking? (Images via Giphy)

32. Heading back to base after your 96 is up.

I don’t think I can make it. (Images via Giphy)

33. Look at all the photos you took the next day at work — that 96 was so much freakin’ fun

That was the best weekend ever! (Images via Giphy)What did you do on your first 96-hour liberty? Comment below.

Humor

6 ways troops act American AF while stationed overseas

One of the highlights of any military career is getting sent overseas to a new duty station. It’s a fantastic way for troops to engage a foreign culture, take in the sights, and work one-on-one with our great nation’s allies.


The thing is, no matter how many AFN commercials tell us to blend in with the host nation, Americans will always be Americans. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with that — but, sometimes, we overdo it.

1. Dressing casually

Troops will always dress like they did when they were back home. Even if a cloudy day on some tropical paradise is a bit too chilly for the locals, American troops from the northern states will still be out there drinking in jeans and a t-shirt.

American brand-name clothes are pricey overseas. So, if you see a local wearing blue jeans, they’re probably knock-offs. The nice pair of Levi’s troops picked up at Wal-Mart would cost an arm and a leg in Europe or Asia.

You can try to fit in all you like, but your buzz cut or high-fade will give you away. (Photo by Pfc. Levi Schultz)

2. Speaking English… loudly

Americans have a leg up on much of the world since, in many countries, it’s customary to learn English as a second language. This is especially true for the younger generations. Because of this, there’s much less of a drive to learn a local language fluently; troops usually just hope the locals speak English.

If someone takes the time to learn the local language outside of a handful of useful sayings, kudos. A large majority of troops don’t bother.

3. Driving instead of taking public transportation

American public transportation isn’t the best in the world. So, many of us rely on driving everywhere we need to go. When Americans are stationed overseas, they often take their car with them instead of relying on local railways or bus systems.

It’s a convenience most Americans grew accustomed to that they’re not willing to give up, even if most things are within walking distance. A troop will either bring their own vehicle or buy one off of a service member rotating back to the States.

And there are always vehicles in the resale lot. They’re pieces of junk…but they’re there. (Photo by Airman 1st Class Larissa Greatwood)

4. Flirting with confidence

American troops often talk to locals in nightclubs like they’re expecting a response of, “oh, you’re an American? How exotic!

Maybe the person they’re interested in likes the cocky American persona. Maybe they’re into shy bookworms they meet at coffee shops. Whatever the case, American troops will always confidently try to figure it out.

5. Only taking in American pop culture

Every country around the world has their own distinct, modern pop culture — their own music, their own cinema, their own arts, etc. They also have American pop culture, which might outshine their own.

You can usually count on locals having seen the latest Marvel movie, heard the Billboard Top 40, and binge-watched everything on Netflix. American troops will probably skip local pop culture. Mostly because it’s probably not in English and subtitles aren’t for everyone.

Expect them to know what Star Wars is. Everyone has seen Star Wars. (Photo by Senior Airman Christopher Muncy)

6. Drinking towns dry

There has been only one time in recorded history that a major city has had all of their alcohol stores run completely dry because of everyone drinking (it was Moscow after WWII). But goddamn do troops come close every first and the fifteenth.

Every nation likes to pretend they hold the title of the “world’s heaviest drinkers.” They obviously haven’t seen what it’s like when an entire unit comes back from Iraq or Afghanistan.

We can clear out an entire bar and still make it to PT the next morning. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Jason Hull)

Lists

8 over-the-top ways troops had fun with their reenlistment

Troops rarely get a say in anything. As a lower-enlisted, your opinion is often discounted and, not to burst any bubbles, as you climb higher, you’ll likely find more of the same. One of the rare exceptions, however, is in determining the conditions of your reenlistment.


Nine times out of ten, a reenlisting troop will say, “screw it, just give me the paperwork” without testing the limits of exactly how far a commander is willing to go to keep them in. Commanders can shoot down the silly requests, sure, but on rare, beautiful occasions, a troop will get exactly what they want.

These are a few of those moments:

(Photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Laurie Dexter)

While putting out a fire

It makes perfect sense if you’re a firefighter to have your reenlistment in the middle of a simulated fire. The key word here is ‘simulated.’ If it wasn’t, you probably should focus on, you know, the task at hand.

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

On an anchor

This one seems fitting as you’re tying your career down for a few more years.

(U.S. Navy photo by James Woods)

While freefalling

Why reenlist before your jump or after you land when you can save time and take the Oath right in the middle?

(Meme via USAWTFM)

At a Gamestop

Deep down, we all know that dude’s reenlistment bonus is going towards video games. Let’s just cut out the middleman and hand the check directly to the guy behind the counter.

(U.S. Army Photo)

At a football game

You and your buddies might as well get free tickets to a football game while you give Uncle Sam a few more years of your life.

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Caleb Barrieau)

In the gas chamber

This may seem like a terrible idea, but with all that CS gas, you can try and pull the “I didn’t make the oath. I was coughing too much!” line if you change your mind.

Protip: It won’t work.

(U.S. Army)

At the South Pole

On the bright side, they got an Antarctica Service Medal in exchange for giving a few additional years to Uncle Sam.

(Photo by Bruce Howard)

By Jon motherf*cking Bon Jovi at the One World Trade Center

I’m not even mad. This is just impressive. She forever has a one-up on anyone trying to out do her reenlistment.

“You just want a reenlistment on the bow of the ship? Oh, that’s neat…”
Humor

8 reasons Marines hate on the Army

The Marine Corps was founded on Nov. 10, 1775, and on Nov. 11, the rivalry between Army soldiers and Marines began. Over the next couple of centuries, the inter-branch, verbal slap-boxing evolved into the passionate, “all in good fun” fight we know today.


The munitions for these verbal attacks are often exaggerated, sometimes malicious, but always spawn from some truth. Whether it’s your living standards or your vernacular, one thing is for certain, Marines will let you know what they think of you — and in the case of the U.S. Army, we will be heard.

8. Soldiers insist on saying we are the same.

Every Marine has the experience of going home on leave and finding themselves in a bar (probably with some friends from high school) when suddenly, it happens: The sound of a young soldier detailing the trials and tribulations of his day-to-day in the Army, culminating in the statement, “Army, Marines; it’s all the same shit.”

The violation of 242 years of exponentially growing ego and pride saturates his thoughts like the cranberry juice in that soldier’s vodka. The same? We may seem similar (and we are), but we are not the same. The Army is the same as Marines in the way dogs are the same as wolves. The way turkeys are the same as Eagles. The way dolphins are the same as killer whales.

Yup! Huge difference.

7. Only a small portion of the Army is combat-oriented.

Ever heard of a Marine veterinarian? No? Would you like to know why? Because that isn’t a thing — but it is in the Army. The Army has such a huge budget that they have room for completely non-combat and support specialties that seem to have no place in the military.

Every Marine Corps MOS is either infantry or in direct support of infantry. Shout-out to the cooks, supply, administration, and all those responsible for the bullets, beans, and Band-Aids needed to win America’s wars! The Marines don’t even have medical or religious personnel; they borrow from the Navy. Meanwhile, the Army is busy training entomologists, dietitians, and shower/laundry and clothing repair specialists.

6. The Army gets high-speed, low-drag gear while Marines are rocking hand-me-downs from Desert Storm.

I started my career with an M16 A2, carried an M16 A4 for many years, and I remember the pride I experienced the day I was finally issued an M4. I was a sergeant with five years logged. It was so light and compact, I felt like a kid on Christmas. Meanwhile, big Army is issuing one of those elite Veterinary Specialist Privates an M4 on day one.

My NVGs were either non-existent on night patrols or so old that all I could see was green.  The Army is rolling deep with brand-new, up-armored vehicles, each outfitted with a handy-dandy Blue Force Tracker. Meanwhile, Marines are riding dirty in a soft-top, high-back HMMWV that’s been spray-painted green.

Site: The hater’s guide to the US Army

5. They say ‘Sarge!’

The rank is ‘sergeant.’ It has never been, nor will it ever be, ‘sarge.’ Also, staff sergeant, sergeant first class, 1st sergeant, and sergeant major are all different ranks from sergeant. When you call everyone sergeant, nothing makes sense.

Also, why in the yut do you call a 1st Sergeant ‘Top?’ There are over ten ranks that outrank him. It’s not even the top enlisted rank. Why are you doing this?

4. Lower standards.

This one isn’t even up for debate. Fact: Male Army Physical Fitness Tests (APFT) require a 2-mile run at a 6:30 pace, 82 sit-ups, and 50 push-ups. This is the most demanding standard the Army has and they reserve it for the 27 to 31-year-old men (since I guess those are the only four years you are expected to be this fit).

In the Corps, Marines are expected to run 3 miles in 18 minutes (6-minute pace), do 100 sit-ups in two minutes, and 20 dead-hang pull-ups for a maximum score of 300, regardless of age.

Doesn’t sound the same does it?

How about marksmanship? In official Army qualification courses, one must shoot targets (single and pop-up) from three firing positions: supported prone, unsupported prone, and foxhole (replaced the kneeling position). In order to qualify, one must hit at least 23 out of 40 pop-up targets at ranges varying from 50 meters to 300 meters (approximately 80 to 327 yards).

In order to qualify as an “Expert” shooter on the rifle range for the Marine Corps, you must score a combined score of 305 or greater. “Marksmen” is the lowest score obtained, a scoring range of 250-279, with “Sharpshooter” placing second, a combined score falling between 280-304. The target distances are 200, 300, and 500 meters and the targets are engaged in a variety of firing positions, from the prone, sitting, kneeling, and standing. None of which are supported by anything other than the Marine’s strength and skill – and that’s not an opinion, it’s science.

Shots fired.

3. Marines are a little jealous of very particular things.

Not knowing what it is to field day and not having to have a fresh haircut every seven days must be nice, but no one in the Marine Corps will know because these are just parts of life in the Corps.

2. They can wear their utility uniform anywhere.

This one most likely belongs with the jealousy paragraph, but with a slight difference: Marines don’t want to wear the dirt suit anywhere outside of base anyway.

Seeing a bunch of soldiers getting bumped up to first class because they are peddling their uniform to the public can be a little irksome. It’s not that the Marines are any less noticeable — the farmer’s tan and ridiculous haircuts help them stand out just fine. Jarheads just don’t get the upgrades and comps that a uniformed soldier does and, in turn, there is a deep rage that grows with every priority-boarded soldier that saunters by a devil dog.

These soldiers get celeb treatment at their local Twin Peaks restaurant. (Source: Twin Peaks)

1. The Army has literally tried to eliminate the USMC on several occasions.

Following almost every American war, there was a proposal to either disband or absorb the Marine Corps into the other services. Then-Army Chief of Staff Dwight D. Eisenhower championed the strongest attempt after WWII to President Truman.

In the end, the rivalry between the Army and Marines akin to a sibling rivalry and any outside threat that decides to take their chances with any branch will find out real quick how strong the bond between branches really is.

Humor

6 unnecessary (but awesome) things you’ll find in the barracks

Life in the barracks blows. You’re crammed into as tight of a space as possible so your superiors can keep an eye on you. There’s always something going on so you never get sleep. And you often have to share a tiny room with someone.


But never underestimate the power of a bored private. If you can think of it, it’s probably going down in the barracks at this moment. While most of the shenanigans aren’t against any rules, they definitely make the lack of BAH worth it.

TVs as big as the wall

There are plenty of terrible purchases made by boots when they get their first paycheck. And it’s no different when the boot comes back from deployment with plenty of spending money.

The average barracks room is barely large enough to have a massive 90-inch widescreen 3D TV but that won’t stop most troops who just got back stateside.

Technically, some do allow you to have fish or lizards. All depends on the specific command.

(Photo by Tech Sgt. Michael Holzworth)

Pets

The barracks is usually a pretty disgusting place as it is. The moment the NCOs leave, it goes back to the same filthy condition that it was in the day before.

Pets are already unclean creatures that require constant maintenance…but troops don’t care!

If you’re cool with them, they’ll share.

(Photo by Cpl. Bobby J. Yarbrough)

Nearly an entire kitchen

There’s always one person in every barracks that knows how to and will cook for everyone. Sometimes they’re not even an actual chef — doesn’t matter.

Being the barracks chef takes a lot more appliances than just a hot pad and coffee pot. These guys do it all in style.

If they’re drinking in the barracks, it means they’re not driving back home. No DUIs! Everyone wins!

(Photo by Cpl. Jonah Lovy)

Enough alcohol to cause liver failure in a lesser man

There’s nothing wrong with someone over the age of 21 drinking alcohol on their time off, as long as they do it responsibly.

On average, a single barracks has more alcohol in it than any bar off-installation.

And we all know how well that usually goes.

(U.S. Army Photo)

Firearms

It’s your god-given right as an American to keep and bear arms. Only problem is that many units have a “no firearms in the barracks” policy.

That’s not to say that troops living in the barracks can’t own firearms. They just need to store them in the arms room.

Good luck not getting caught during a “random” inspection.

(Photo by Senior Airman Christian Thomas)

Unauthorized guests

The barracks room isn’t exactly prime real estate for a single person, let alone multiple troops living in a room similar to a studio sized apartment.

And yet, troops will occasionally keep a local they got a thing for in there with them.

Humor

6 reasons airmen hate on Marines

There’s no best way to describe the rivalry between the branches of the American military to an outsider. It’s kinda like an inventive d*ck measuring contest mixed with elements of the Stanford Prison Experiment. Everyone talks about how they’re somehow the best while acknowledging their shortcomings.


We hate on each other for whatever reasons, but at the end of the day, we’re still on the same side.

For example, the Air Force’s Maj. Jeremiah Parvin and the Marine Corps’ Master Gunnery Sgt. Richard Wells here. Parvin received the Distinguished Flying Cross with Valor for actions that saved the lives of Wells’ team during a 2008 deployment to Afghanistan. That’s how we do in real life.

And the rivalry doesn’t stop just because a veteran gets a DD-214. If anything, it gets worse. Just look at the Army-Navy Game. Are you ready to watch two irrelevant college football teams talk shit for weeks leading up to a game whose disappointment starts with ugly uniforms and usually ends with the Navy blowing out Army?

That’s what happens to the Army without air support.

Also: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

It’s usually all in good fun. But if you didn’t serve, don’t join in – veterans from every branch will turn on you immediately. That being said, let’s take a look at few good reasons airmen hate on Marines.

6. Those stupid haircuts.

Nothing says “motarded” like a Marine’s haircut. You know those memes where a guy with a stupid haircut asks a barber to f*ck up his shit? You could make a book of those memes just walking around Camp Pendleton.

Seriously, wtf is that? An inverted Mohawk?

5. They take everything so seriously.

Look, I get it. A lot of Marines are going to see combat. Every Marine is a rifleman, sure. But don’t wait til you’re in the barracks drinking cheap beer, hanging with even cheaper locals to lighten up.

You don’t have to marry the first stripper you see in Jacksonville is all I’m saying.

4. Calling us the “Chair Force.”

If you’re a Marine Corps legal clerk, maybe slow your roll on calling anyone “Chair Force.” On an Air Force base, you’d still be derided as a nonner, which is as close to POG as the Air Force gets.

Sometimes we roll the same way, it just doesn’t take an airman 13 weeks to get there.

Also, the Chair Force crack is so old, Marines are probably going to honor it with a plaque or memorial of some kind.

3. Their damn uniforms.

Look, no one is going to argue about Marine Corps dress blues — we acknowledge they’re pretty damn cool, but let’s talk about the MARPAT. There was nothing wrong with BDUs. We all wore them and they worked for 20 years. Then the Marines had to have their own cammies, because optics and whatnot.

Look at all our Afghan enemies’ optics.

Okay, say we get into a war with China or something, then those might be useful. Hopefully we never find out. The real beef with the uniforms is that they led to every service getting their own uniform, and the Air Force ended up in these:

Cool tiger stripes — at least we’re not the Navy.

2. And what’s with celebrities wearing Marine uniforms?

Way to represent the Air Force, Chuck. You’re dead to me. (U.S. Air Force Photo by Staff Sgt. Tia Schroeder)

1. Complaining about superior Air Force facilities.

We hear you. Marine Corps facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force. The truth is that most facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force, even civilian facilities are garbage compared to the Air Force.

But Marines should be complaining to the Navy about facilities. After all, it wasn’t an airman that put Mackie Hall next to Sh*t Creek. You either get indoor plumbing or the F-35, but you can’t have both.

And the Air Force didn’t make that call for your leadership, either. Yut.

As for our chocolate fountains, I don’t know where that meme came from and I don’t care. If I wanted to eat from the garbage, I’d visit a Marine Corps chow hall.

Look at him. He either loves it or is just trying to struggle through another meal. (U.S. Marine Corps photo)

There’s only one thing I won’t hate on the Corps for though: Those recruiting commercials. F*cking epic.

(TheMilitaryProject | YouTube)
Articles

7 signs humans will lose the robot wars

While DARPA and other research institutions declare a robotic revolution, the real geniuses like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates are letting us know the robotic revolution is really going to be a robot war. While watching videos of robot fails may make humans feel safe, we shouldn’t. The robots are coming and the robots will win.


How? Here are 7 ways robots are preparing for war:

1. They’re reproducing.

Björk_AIFOL_MoMA-robots-reproduce Photo: Wikipedia/sashimomura

The video above is from the University of Cambridge where a robotic “mother” is creating “children.” The robotic arm was given the task of constructing robots from building blocks with motors and glue, designing her own children to move as far across the table as possible. With such simple tools, her children are still relatively harmless. But once she gets chainsaws and gatling guns to attach to them, we’re all in trouble.

2. They’re evolving.

The worst part of the University of Cambridge study isn’t even that researchers are letting robots create robots, it’s that they’re trying to make them evolve. The mother is supposed to keep track of which of her children was most successful and then create the next generation with the best traits of the last. So, even if we beat the robots back in the first few battles, we’ll be facing more effective robots in each skirmish.

3. They can mimic humans.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Steve Jurvetson

DARPA has created a robot that can learn human tasks, especially cooking, from watching Youtube. If this programming is put into those creepy robots with the human skin, we’ll never know if a chef is a human making dinner for humans or a robot making humans for dinner.

4. They’re working in teams.

While the internet naively believes the Robo World cup is adorable, they couldn’t be more wrong. This “World Cup” is actually a training regimen where the robots are learning teamwork and “multi-agent collaboration.” This is according to the reports of the human collaborators own reports.

5. They’re learning.

Not only do the robots work in teams in the world cup, they also learn how to move their own bodies and better navigate through space. Even worse, the crackpots at DARPA are encouraging people teach robots how to navigate disaster areas. This would allow robots to navigate the ruins of the cities they destroy. Above, a robot has learned to do laundry without any direct human controls.

6. They’re becoming more mobile.

We always thought the robot wars would take place in the urban jungle, but the robots are preparing for a war in the actual jungle by practicing running through the woods. AlphaDog, the Marines Legged Squad Support System, pioneered the way for robots to run through the woods but even bipedal robots like the Atlas have found their way into the forest. At least we can still hide behind our city walls.

7. They can now open doors.

Except no, we can’t. Robots have learned to open doors. No word on when they’ll learn to kick them in while screaming, “Your democracy is here!” Luckily, this is still limited to certain robot types.

Military Life

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Look. We all had a choice to make when we signed up for the military: we could defend freedom and democracy in high-pressure missions with global ramifications using elite skillsets… or we could be officers.


I’m joking, except… not really.

In a loose summary, officers are there to lead units and oversee the (enlisted) personnel that execute the mission. There are, of course, many careers fields that require officers to get their hands dirty, but overall, the officer force is trained to ensure the mission is complete and the enlisted force is trained to get the work done.

Related: How to not be a dirtbag officer

As a result, there are a few ways that officers are set apart from the rest of the military (and I’m not just talking about the bachelor’s degree required for commissioning):

1. You’re kind of a snob

I commissioned through Air Force ROTC at a liberal arts university in Southern California, so the only officers who are even bigger snobs than I were Ivy League graduates, and that’s saying something. I spent four years being taught to lead men and women toward a noble purpose. I was set up for success and given tests that I passed with aplomb and then I was praised spectacularly, increasing my confidence and morale to holy levels.

You probably don’t even know what ‘aplomb’ means.

Then I went to MEPS and I saw a glimpse of what enlisted endure throughout their training. Holy sh*t, you guys. I’m sorry that happened to you.

But you were trained to follow orders. We were trained to give them.

2. You drink liquor or craft beer

I mean, we had enough disposable income to afford the good stuff, so why wouldn’t we? You can keep your PBR and hangover — I’ll be over here sipping whatever the mixologist alchemized during happy hour.

Pretty normal night at the O-club.

3. You know what “crud” is

I don’t care what you heathens do at your barracks parties or whatever. Crud is for dignified folk and it’s effing fun and you’ll never change my mind about that.

I’m willing to acknowledge that playing with hot pilots may have influenced my opinion about this matter.

Is anyone else equal parts mesmerized and aroused?

Anyway, crud is a sophisticated game involving the corner pockets of the pool table and a lot of body-checking. The details are complicated — but trust me, they’re worth it.

4. You know all your enlisted people’s darkest secrets

The trick is to not let your chain of command know them. Now go be a good little sh*t shield.

Your DUI? I know about it.

5. Everyone stops laughing and talking when you approach

It’s lonely at the top, and, as we’ve established, you’re a snob and probably also a nerd, and there are fewer of your kind, so, yeah, they’re all talking about you. But if you’ve done your job right, they’re doing it in a good-natured way?

Whatever you gotta tell yourself to get through the day, Captain.

6. You utilize an exorbitant passel of buzzwords

Phrases like “force multiplier” and “interoperability” belong in your powerpoint presentation for the 2-star. Stop using them around your friends, or you won’t have anyone left to love.

Actually I like this one. I’m gonna start using it.

7. When you’re the first to arrive and the last to leave but still accused of doing nothing

When I signed up for the military, I did it because I wanted to kick down doors and be a super hero. I had no idea that’s not what the Air Force an officer does. Then on active duty I found out that I basically put in four years of training to become a souped-up babysitter responsible for a sh*t ton of paperwork who everyone makes fun of in perpetuity.

Also read: Officers and enlistees confess the best and worst about each other

But here’s the thing: someone had to do that job. I did my best to make my troops’ lives easier, to take care of them, and to empower them so they could carry out critical missions.

It meant long hours, a lot of powerpoint presentations, and, just, so much paperwork.

The military is a machine and we’re all parts that keep the machine running.

I can write EPRs in my sleep, b****.

Lists

5 social media influencers that served in the military

Many believe that the true rise of social media began after Google bought out the video streaming service, YouTube, for $1.65 billion in 2006.


Since then, billions of people around the globe have documented their lives and ran successful businesses through various social media networks.

Out of those billions, only a handful of those people are considered “social influencers.” And out of that handful, an even smaller number are military veterans.

Related: Every way not to use social media in the military summed up in recent video

1. Dakota Meyer

This Medal of Honor recipient enlisted in the Marine Corps in 2006 after graduating high school. During a deployment to Afghanistan, Sgt. Meyer disregarded his own safety to find and save fellow members of his embedded training team while under a curtain of enemy fire.

For his efforts, Sgt. Meyer was awarded the Medal of Honor by former President Obama in September of 2011. Now, Dakota continues to spread the stories of the outstanding men with whom he once served.

Today, Dakota’s social media following is one truly fit for a motivated hero. His audience has grown to nearly 100,000 followers on Twitter, 600,000 on his Facebook page, and a respectable 20,000 viewers on his YouTube channel.

Dakota Meyer with his Marine brothers. (DakotaMeyer.com)

2. Don Shipley

If you ever have a second thought about a guy claiming to be a Navy SEAL, what better way to find out the truth than contacting a real one? After serving 24 years in the Navy as a SEAL Senior Chief, this well-respected badass retired in 2003. Now, this former-SEAL busts stolen-valor phonies and even shows up to their residence to meet them face-to-face.

You can watch his hilarious, phony-SEAL-busting videos on his YouTube channel, Buds 131, along with his loyal audience of nearly 180,000 people.

If you receive a call from this Navy badass, chances are, you’re about to get busted for stolen freakin’ valor.

Don Shipley and his wife, Diane. (Don Shipley Facebook)

3. Jacqueline Carrizosa

This motivated Navy sailor served as both a gunner’s mate and rescue swimmer during her honorable years of service. Since then, she’s worked on various films projects, including the series Oscar Mike and Peter Berg’s Battleship.

You can watch her get an awesome tattoo that pays tribute to her Navy days in an episode of USAA’s channel original series, Service and Ink. She also supports the Team 5 Foundation that travels far and wide to provide medical care to poverty-stricken countries.

Today, Jackie’s social audience is growing at a serious rate as her Instagram follows tally up to 132,000.

4. Max Uriarte

Uriarte joined the Marine Corps in 2006 as a 0351 Marine Assaultman and was stationed at Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii. Uriarte deployed to Iraq twice with 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marines in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom between 2007 and 2009.

During Uriarte’s four years of enlistment in the Corps, he served as a SMAW gunner, team leader, squad leader, .50Cal gunner, combat photographer, and a combat artist.

In 2010, Uriarte started the hit comic strip, Terminal Lance, which soon became the single most popular comic strip in the military.

Now, Max has over 15,000 followers on Instagram and his Terminal Lance Facebook page is followed by nearly 700,000 loyal fans.

Also Read: 7 reasons why social media is the devil while on a deployment

5. Dulce Candy

Born in Michoacán, Mexico, Dulce joined the U.S. Army in 2006, became a certified generator mechanic, and was stationed Fort Hood, Texas. Soon after, she deployed to Iraq for a 15 months and experienced the intensity of war.

After returning home, she continued to work as a mechanic, until she turned on her camera and began discussing makeup and fashion culture on YouTube.

Today, she has over 1.1 million followers on Instagram, 2.2 million subscribers on YouTube, and is close to reaching 1 million on Facebook.

(Dulce Candy YouTube)

Lists

7 leadership lessons from the life and death of Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar had a pretty bad day at work on March 15, 44 BCE. The dictator of Rome was lured to a meeting and stabbed to death by his coworkers.


He would’ve done well to beware the Ides of March.

Several years earlier, the politician and general had rose to power in a civil war. His assassination sparked yet another civil war that doomed the Roman Republic. The state ended up mutating into an empire, with Caesar’s adopted heir, Octavian, at the helm.

Today, Caesar is still considered one of the greatest military commanders in history. His name is also synonymous with cults of personality and political strongmen.

So, how exactly did the one-time high priest of Jupiter accrue so much power during his lifetime?

Business Insider looked through some of his own writings — as well as the less-reliable but still interesting works of contemporary, ancient writers — to get a sense of his leadership style.

1. Presentation matters

Fountain of Caesar in Olomouc, Czech Republic.

The best leaders don’t just do amazing things — they know how to present a compelling story.

After a relatively brief war with a certain Pharnacles II of Pontus, Caesar had to sit down and write out a report to Rome detailing his conquest. According to both Greek biographer Plutarch and Roman historian Suetonius, the commander didn’t go into too much detail, writing simply: “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

The phrase proved so catchy that we still remember it, centuries later.

Caesar could have gone on and on about his military prowess (in fact, he was the author of several long military accounts). Instead, he realized that the simple note would convey the most powerful message.

More: Channing Tatum moans about the pre-gender-integrated Navy in this song from ‘Hail, Caesar!’

2. Take risks

The senators encircle Caesar, a 19th-century interpretation of the event. (By Carl Theodor von Piloty)

In ancient Rome, crossing the Rubicon River with an army was kind of a big deal. It was tantamount to a declaration of war and could be punishable by death.

When Caesar crossed the Rubicon with his legion, he put everything on the line. In The Life of the Deified Julius, Suetonius writes that Caesar quoted an Athenian playwright as he crossed the river, declaring “the die is cast.”

He risked it all and it paid off (in the short-term, at least).

3. There’s nothing wrong with starting small

(Photo by Hilverd Reker/Flickr)

Oftentimes, you’ve got to start out as a large fish in a small pond in order to succeed as a leader.

Caesar understood this. He managed to climb back into a position of power, even after losing his inheritance in a coup as a young man.

According to the ancient Plutarch’s “Parallel Lives,” the general also made a rather curious remark while passing through a small village in the Alps: “I assure you I had rather be the first man here than the second man in Rome.”

Also read: This siege is one of Julius Caesar’s most spectacular victories

4. Nothing is set in stone

(Photo by Andrew Bossi)

As a general, Caesar knew that circumstances could change in an instant. According to Bill Yonne’s Julius Caesar: Lessons in Leadership from the Great Conqueror, Caesar once wrote that “in war, events of importance are the result of trivial causes.”

Resting on your laurels is never a good idea — because things can always take a turn for the worst.

5. Never kid yourself

The Death of Caesar. (Artwork by Vincenzo Camuccini)

Even if you’re a successful leader, you never want to get to the point where you start to buy your own nonsense.

In his chronicle of the Gallic Wars, Caesar concludes that: “in most cases, men willingly believe what they wish” when describing a tactical mistake on the part of his Gallic enemies.

The best leaders behave rationally and don’t allow their feelings or preconceived notions to dominate their decision-making. Gut calls and instincts are important, too, but the best leaders utilize both — not one or the other.

Related: History’s 7 outstanding military leaders, according to Napoleon

6. Don’t get comfortable

A bronze statue of Caesar, Rimini, Italy.

No matter how good things look, the best leaders never fail to anticipate the worst outcomes.

In his Commentaries on the Gallic Wars, Caesar writes: “The immortal gods are wont to allow those persons whom they wish to punish for their guilt sometimes a greater prosperity and longer impunity, in order that they may suffer the more severely from a reverse of circumstances.”

Basically, if you’re on a winning streak, watch out. Caesar would have done well to actually follow this advice himself. Instead, he allowed a conspiracy to boil under him once he became dictator, resulting in his famous assassination.

7. Never sell yourself short

(By Nicolas Coustou)

In order to lead, you need confidence in your own abilities. This is something that Caesar never seemed to lack.

This is illustrated by one notable incident in the ancient Roman’s life (involving pirates, of all things). In his account of Caesar’s life, Plutarch writes that, as a young man, Julius Caesar was abducted by the pirates.

Livius.org provides a translation of what happened next: “First, when the pirates demanded a ransom of twenty talents, Caesar burst out laughing. They did not know, he said, who it was that they had captured, and he volunteered to pay fifty.”

Caesar went on to promise the pirates that he’d personally kill them once he was free. After he was ransomed, he raised a fleet, hunted them down, and did just that.

Humor

6 signs she is more in love with your contract than you

Many service members can recall their recruiter’s insistence that they will be swarmed with the attention of beautiful women as soon as they graduate from basic. For the most part, this claim is incorrect.


However…

There are those who are absolutely into the fact that you signed on the dotted line. One can usually find them within close proximity to a military base, keeping always on the alert, and searching for their future spouse. Of course this would never happen to you but, if you think your buddy is in a relationship with someone like this, there are signs to look for:

Related: 5 things boot Marines buy with their first paycheck

6. She approaches you at a service bar

You walk into the bar just outside base, have a seat with your boys, you all are celebrating finally making it to fleet. You walk to the bar for another round when she taps you on the shoulder. She is gorgeous — you’ve never talked to girl like this, much less had one approach you. Must be your lucky day right? Well…

5. She asks if you are married, not if you’re single

Ok, maybe it’s just you — after all, you’re much more fit than you used to be and she doesn’t even know you serve. How could she? (haircut, farmer’s tan, affliction t-shirt) Then she asks if you are married. Not if you are single — but if you are married. This is a little to the point but maybe she just knows what she wants. Maybe she saw you and just fell in love.

4. She knows your contract better than you

You let her know that you are not married, that you live in the barracks, and have your meals at the chow hall. She informs you that if you were married you could live off base and could eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

So I give you this and then I can get an apartment?

3. She explains BAH to you

You kindly explain to her that you wouldn’t be able to afford to live off base and the cost of groceries is also a little steep. She smiles at you the same way an adult does a child, pats you on the head and says, “Oh sweetie, you sweet ignorant little thing, the basic allowance for housing is X amount of dollars here which is more than enough for us to live in a small place, not to mention the basic allowance for subsistence which would get you off that prison food in the chow hall.”

Yes, but you can’t PROVE anything… (Image via imgflip)

2. She proposes to you just before deployment.

So you’ve been dating now for two-weeks and things are getting serious. She sits on your rack and stares at her phone while you play video games in your barracks room. Things are perfect, until you hear her say it. “You should get married before you deploy.” (Pauses game, turns slowly)

“They’d pay you so much more: BAH, SAH, separations pay, hazardous duty pay, baby you’d clean up.”

Will you marry me before you go?

Also Read: 5 things infantrymen love about the woobie

1. She needs health care

So you are married now, congratulations. First deployment is about to be underway, and where is your new bride? She was at the dentist on Monday, the dermatologist on Tuesday, optometrist Wednesday, and seems to have a healthy relationship with the ear nose and throat doctor. It may be time for you to make an appointment with the proctologist, because this is all highly suspect.

Lists

8 books that inspired great war films

War is the subject of some of the most powerful movies ever made. But Hollywood has long been borrowing its inspiration from an older medium – books – and its war movies are no exception. While some war movies are original efforts, like 2017’s Dunkirk (though The Miracle of Dunkirk by Walter Lord is a fantastic book on the subject — even if the movie wasn’t based on it), many of the greatest war movies of all time have been based on novels or nonfiction books.


Some of the books that have inspired war adaptations are considered classics, and others are too often overlooked. But all are worth reading, and we’ve brought together some of the very best ones below. Here are the superb books behind some of the best war adaptations Hollywood has ever made.

Also read: The 9 best nonfiction history audiobooks you can get right now

1. Enemy at the Gates by William Craig

Craig’s nonfiction account of one of the most dramatic moments of the Second World War was the inspiration for a movie made nearly 30 years after its publication. Enemy at the Gates (2001) used multiple accounts to create its story, but both the movie and this book capture the dark drama and tension of the Battle of Stalingrad.

Joseph Fiennes and Jude Law in Enemy at the Gates (2001). (Paramount Pictures)

2. From Here to Eternity by James Jones

From Here to Eternity (1953) is one of Hollywood’s all-time classics, and it owes its existence to the novel of the same name written by James Jones. The story centers around the men stationed at Pearl Harbor and reaches its climax with the infamous surprise attack launched by the Japanese. Themes of love and friendship mix with the horror of the attack in a story that lingers. Jones’ sequel, The Thin Red Line, focuses on a fictionalized battle within the Battle of Guadalcanal and was adapted into a film starring Sean Penn and Adrien Brody in 1998.

Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity (1953). (Columbia Pictures)

3. Casualties of War by Daniel Lang

The roots of Casualties of War (1989) are found in Daniel Lang’s work – not just in his book Casualties of War, but also in the 1969 article he wrote for The New Yorker that eventually led to the full-length work. Like the movie and the article, Lang’s book tells the story of a wartime atrocity committed by American servicemen in Vietnam. The kidnapping, rape, and murder of Phan Thi Mao is difficult to read about and impossible to forget.

4. We Were Soldiers Once… and Young by Lt. Gen. Harold G. Moore and Joseph L. Galloway

We Were Soldiers (2002) is an adaptation of this nonfiction book, widely considered to be one of the great modern military histories ever written. The book is a collaboration between Galloway, a war journalist, and Moore, a lieutenant colonel at the time of the Battle of Ia Drang, which is featured prominently in the book.

Barry Pepper and Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers (2002). (Paramount Pictures)

Related: 6 military movies you need to watch in 2018

5. Guadalcanal Diary by Richard Tregaskis

War correspondent Richard Tregaskis’ clear, vernacular prose and careful reporting work make his account of his time on Guadalcanal one of the most readable journalistic records of World War II. The book offered insight into the relationship between the Marines on Guadalcanal, and its uplifting moments of camaraderie helped make it popular in the U.S. as the war raged on. It was swiftly adapted into a film, which was also released before the end of World War II.

6. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Heart of Darkness is unique on this list in part because it is not, strictly speaking, a war novel. Conrad’s book is about the soul of a man in the in the Congo at the height of colonization. Kurtz, a European ivory trader, has changed dramatically during his years in the jungle. Filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola and screenwriter John Milius saw parallels to the changing souls of men at war and adapted the novella into the classic, Apocalypse Now.

More: 7 amazing war books written by the men who fought there

7. American Sniper by Chris Kyle

Fascinating, impressive, and sometimes troubling, the autobiography that Chris Kyle wrote with Scott McEwan and Jim DeFelice is an essential documentation of American warrior culture. Kyle is the deadliest sniper in U.S. history, with 160 confirmed kills. Yet some reports have suggested that he embellished his military record in this book, which also led to Kyle losing a defamation lawsuit. Kyle was later killed by a shooter at a civilian gun range, but his book survives as a fascinating primary document – more useful and important, in some ways, than the popular film adaptation.

Jake McDorman and Bradley Cooper in American Sniper (2014). (Warner Bros.)

8. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

All Quiet on the Western Front is a grim and moving novel. It is a fictionalized account of Remarque’s time in the German army late in World War I. Its unflinching portrayal of the evils of war and its underlying tones of survivor’s guilt make it one of the most honest books ever written about war. It’s also one of the best. It was adapted into a film in 1930, which went on to win Academy Awards for Best Director and Outstanding Production.

Articles

7 unit mottos that came straight out of combat

Most units in the military have a motto that they use to stand out. Some of them are even pretty cool. But the most badass unit mottos are forged in the crucible of combat.


Here are seven units that live by the immortal words uttered in battle:

1. “Keep up the fire!” – 9th Infantry Regiment

The 9th Infantry Regiment has a long history, but its service in China is particularly noteworthy. Not only did the 9th pick up its regimental nickname, Manchu, from its time there — but also the unit’s motto.

During the regiment’s assault on the walled city of Tientsin, the flag bearer was killed and the regimental commander took up the colors.

He was immediately targeted by Chinese snipers and mortally wounded himself. His dying words to his men were “Keep up the fire!”

The unit successfully stormed the city and captured it from the Boxers.

2. “I’ll try, sir” – 5th Infantry Regiment

Battle of Lundy’s Lane, July 25, 1814. (New York State Military Museum)

During the War of 1812, the 21st Infantry Regiment engaged the British at the Battle of Lundy’s Lane.

After the Americans were decimated by British artillery on the high ground, Lt. Col. James Miller, the regimental commander, was given the near suicidal task of launching an assault to capture the guns. He simply responded, “I’ll try, sir.”

The 21st advanced on the British position and fired a volley that swept the artillerymen from their guns. They then charged with bayonets, driving off the remaining British troops and capturing the guns.

When the 21st was absorbed by the 5th Infantry, with Col. Miller in command, his famous word “I’ll try, sir” became the regiments official motto.

3. “These are my credentials” – 8th Infantry Division

Major General Charles D.W. Cahnam (U.S. Army photo)

After landing in Normandy in July 1944, the 8th Infantry Division was part of the arduous task of liberating the port city of Brest. After weeks of hard fighting, the Germans finally capitulated on Sept. 19.

When Brig. Gen. Charles Canham, deputy commander of the division, arrived to accept the surrender of the German commander, Gen. Ramcke, the senior German officer demanded to see the American’s credentials. Canham, simply pointed to his battle-hardened soldiers and replied, “These are my credentials.”

4. “Rangers lead the way!” – 75th Ranger Regiment

U.S. Army Rangers assigned to 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, fire off a Carl Gustav 84mm recoilless rifle at a range on Camp Roberts, Calif., Jan. 26, 2014. Rangers use a multitude of weaponry during their annual tactical training. (U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Rashene Mincy/ Released)

The Rangers of WWII spearheaded many Allied invasions, particularly on D-Day at Normandy. The Rangers of the 2nd and 5th Ranger Battalions found themselves pinned down on Omaha beach along with the rest of the assault force.

Trying to inspire the shell-shocked men of the 29th Infantry Division, Brig. Gen. Norman Cota, the assistant division commander, came across the men of the 5th Ranger Battalion. When they identified themselves as Rangers Cota then gave one of the most famous orders in the history of the U.S. Army: “Well, goddammit then, Rangers, lead the way!”

Their efforts effected the first break through on Omaha and what would later become their motto — Rangers lead the way.

5. “I’ll face you!” – 142nd Infantry Regiment

The 142nd first saw action as part of the 36th Infantry Division in World War I. After facing heavy fighting near the village of St. Etienne, the regiment faced off against the Germans at the Aisne River. The regiment sent a patrol across the river to reconnoiter behind enemy lines.

As they attempted to return to friendly lines, they came under heavy fire from the Germans. A young lieutenant, inspiring his men, turned towards the Germans and shouted, “I’ll face you!” and refused to turn his back.

His quote eventually became the regimental motto.

6. “Nothing in Hell must stop the Timberwolves” – 104th Infantry Division

The 104th Infantry Division was a unique formation.

Having trained specifically as a nightfighting unit, the division then received a unique commander — Mej. Gen. Terry de la Mesa Allen. A combat commander who had previously commanded the 1st Infantry Division in Africa and Sicily, he had an unorthodox command style combined with a hard-charging attitude.

When Allen took command, he gave the division its new motto, “Nothing in hell must stop the Timberwolves,” and he meant it.

The 104th fought under numerous Allied commands and was always held in the highest regard, often being cited as the finest assault division. Through courage, grit, and determination the Timberwolves defeated the Germans and lived up to their motto.

7. “Let ’em have it!” – 59th Infantry Regiment

The 59th Infantry Regiment shipped to France during World War I as part of the 7th Brigade. During the Meuse-Argonne Offensive, the 59th took part in the fighting around Chateau-de-Diable.

During the engagement, a squad approached from the Chateau. Initially the men held their fire, afraid of gunning down friendly forces, until a sergeant with the regiment realized the mistake and yelled out, “They come from the wrong direction, let ’em have it!”

It was later discovered that the squad was German soldiers in American uniforms and the sergeant’s words became the unit motto.