Military movies contain inspiring moments, important messages, and hilarious insults lobbed between troops. Filled with wit, wisdom, and profanity, here are 13 of our favorites.
1. Aliens- Basically, insult paradise
“Have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
“No, have you?”
What a great comeback.
2. Good Morning Vietnam
“You are in more dire need of a bl–job than any white man in history.”
3. A Few Good Men
“You see, Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don’t want money, and I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that f-ggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some f-cking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.”
Insults don’t get much better than that.
4. Enemy at the Gates
Nikita Kruschev while speaking to a commander who has stopped attacking: “I don’t care if you’ve lost half your men. Lose the other half, or lose yourself!”
5. The Dirty Dozen
“I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you’re really quite emotional, aren’t you?”
6. A Bridge Too Far
“I’ve selected you to lead us, not only because of your extraordinary fighting ability, but also because, in the unlikely event the Germans ever get you, they will assume from your attire that they’ve captured a wretched peasant and immediately send you on your way.”
7. Heartbreak Ridge
“The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfortunately, you ain’t it.”
Pfc. Bernstein while discussing disliked officers: “When you salute them two, you have to apologize to your arm.”
9. The Caine Mutiny
“If you want to do anything about, I’ll be outside. I’m a lot drunker than you are, so it’ll be a fair fight.”
10. Saving Private Ryan
“You wouldn’t shoot that Kraut son of a b-tch, now you’re gonna shoot me?”
“He was better than you.”
“What makes this woman think she can speak among men?”
“Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.”
12. Full Metal Jacket
This one’s so good, it’s age-restricted.
Obviously, this whole list could be Gunny Hartman quotes, but we just picked a couple of favorites to include.
“Who the f-ck said that? Who’s the slimy, little, communist sh-t, twinkle-toed c–ksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy f–king godmother said it? Out-f–king-standing!” (0:22 in the video above)
“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!” (2:24 in the video).
“I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!” (3:14)
Mooning. It’s the mooning.