The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Once in a blue moon, Hollywood pops out a really great military movie. Not only does the film have a compelling story, but it’s also rich in technical detail — so troops don’t have to sit through 90 minutes of “dubble yew-tee-eff” when looking at uniform inaccuracies or crazy plot-lines.


But we’re not talking about those movies here. We put our collective heads together to come up with the cheesiest military movies. These are the ones that made us wince, yell at the screen, or walk out of the theater to run to the nearest liquor store.

1. Navy SEALs

In between shooting terrorists, Navy SEALs play golf polo set to “The Boys are Back in Town.” And Charlie Sheen is a cocky jerk. So we guess it’s sort of realistic.

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Watch WATM’s synopsis of “Navy SEALs” here. (We just saved two hours of your life. You’re welcome.)

2. The Hurt Locker

Yes, it won an Oscar. It’s also completely terrible. Put on your freakin’ EOD suit when you’re defusing bombs there, Rambo. And last time we checked, it wasn’t a good idea to leave your base at night in Iraq wearing nothing but a hoodie.

3. The Marine

Words fall short.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

4. Iron Eagle

Along with the help of a retired colonel, a teenage Air Force brat steals a couple of F-16 jets without anyone really noticing. Then they both manage to take on an (unnamed) Arab state’s air force and rescue his captured dad. But totally worth it just for the bad guy’s quote of “I want these pigs … destroyed.”

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

5. Act of Valor

To the film’s credit, the action scenes with Navy SEALs taking down houses and shooting the hell out of enemy vehicles were top-notch. But the acting from those same real-life Navy SEALs was (understandably) forced and cheesy. And we were a bit disappointed the bad guys never said, “I want these pigs … destroyed.” And are you looking for a drinking game idea? Take a shot every time one of the SEALs calls another one “bro.”

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

6. G.I. Jane

A woman gets picked to go through Navy SEAL training. Actually, the movie calls it “Combined Reconnaissance Training,” which isn’t even a thing. So besides getting the name of the training course wrong right out the gate, Lt. O’Neil (played by Demi Moore) goes through training, shaves her head, and does one-armed pushups. Then she saves the day when the trainees (yes, TRAINEES) participate in a rescue mission in Libya. O-kay. (Bonus points for the shower scene, though.)

 

7. Jarhead 2

While “Jarhead” is based on a book written by a Marine sniper and offered a fairly realistic depiction of infantry life and all its absurdities, “Jarhead 2” is a sequel that has nothing to do with the original, has a ridiculous plot, and follows around Marines who work in supply. Yes, SUPPLY.

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

BONUS: Jonn over at This Ain’t Hell pointed this one out to us: “Flesh Wounds,” which he called the absolutely worst military movie ever made. To quote Jonn: “If you’re ever sitting around with your military friends and you want to have a contest counting the mistakes in a war movie, this is the one you want (if they can still see the movie through tears from laughter).”

MIGHTY CULTURE

Popeye the Sailor was based on a real person – and this is what he looked like

Cartoonist E.C. Segar created Popeye the Sailor in 1919 after taking a correspondence course on drawing from a guy in Cleveland. Segar’s hometown of Chester, Ill. was chock full of characters that Segar easily adapted to print. Dora Paskel, the owner of a local general store, was unusually tall and thin, wearing her hair in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. J. William Schuchert was the local theater owner who had a voracious appetite for hamburgers.

And Frank Fiegel was a one-eyed, pipe-smoking brawler who never turned down a fight.


The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Frank Fiegel died in 1947 and was originally buried in an unmarked grave. Popeye fans rectified this in 1996.

Fiegel was more likely to down a few bourbons instead of a can of spinach to get his super fighting prowess, but the rest of his caricature fit the Sailor Man to a T. He had the same jutting chin, built frame, and trademark pipe as his cartoon counterpart. But kids were rather scared of Olive Oyl’s real-world inspiration, as she was more apt to stay inside her store. Wimpy’s rotund figure was based on Popeye creator E.C. Segar’s old boss at the local theater. When Segar wasn’t lighting lamps, he was sent out to pick up burgers for the owner.

Popeye’s real-life inspiration is sometimes attributed to a photo of an old sailor who really does resemble Popeye the Sailor Man, but this is just internet folklore.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

(Imperial War Museum)

The sailor in the above photo is really a sailor, but he’s a British sailor. His name is lost to history, but the Imperial War Museum lists him as “A Leading Stoker nicknamed ‘Popeye,'” with 21 years in service and fighting aboard the HMS Rodney in 1940. Fiegel would have been at least 70 years old when this photo of the battleship sailor was taken.

Frank “Rocky” Fiegel was actually a bartender and not any kind of sailor, but he did love the kids around Chester, and they used to love to play pranks on the old barfly. Fiegel would impress them with his feats of strength as well as his telltale corncob pipe – something young Segar would never forget. “Popeye” was an homage to an unforgettable man who lived to know his image was soon in 500 newspapers nationwide, the symbol of sticking up for the little guy.

Articles

Here are the winners of the first annual Miami Vet Fest

The first annual Miami Vet Fest, a film festival created by Army veteran Bryan Thompson to showcase the work of veteran filmmakers, took place today. The event categories included feature films, short films, documentaries, web series, and commercials.


The following films were nominated for awards. (Winners in each category indicated in bold.)

Best of the Fest

Winner: “Birthday”

“Birthday” is a short film about a severely wounded Marine and his wife coming home for the first time following months of surgeries and rehabilitation. It is a powerful, realistic and dignified depiction of what it is like for our severely wounded soldiers and their spouses as they face enormously difficult times ahead. “Birthday” is not pro-war and it is not anti-war; it is simply a tale of one injured Marine’s circumstances based on the true stories of many of our wounded service members. While the film is an oftentimes heart-wrenching and difficult reality to watch, it is ultimately a celebration of marital solidarity and the human spirit.

Military Themed Scripted Short

Winner: “Day 39”

“Day 39” is the story of The Kid, a young American soldier on foot patrol in a remote region of Afghanistan.

When an Afghan grandmother, Zarmina, requests help from his platoon for a medical emergency, the Kid is sent into a dark mud hut to assist Doc, a seasoned medic, with a young pregnant woman who has gone into labor. The baby is breech and Doc and the Kid must take extreme measures to try and save the mother and child, despite cultural obstacles inside the hut, and unseen yet ever-present dangers outside.

https://player.vimeo.com/video/122587350
Also nominated in this category: “This is War,” “Ten Thousand Miles,” and “Absent without Love.”

Military Themed Web Series

Winner: “Black”

“Black” is a high-action web series crafted in the style of the feature film “Act of Valor,” the highly successful video game franchise “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare,” and the hit Fox Television series “24.” The first season was shot over 5 days in two states for only $10,000. The series was created by writer/director Frank T. Ziede and features real military vets.

Also nominated in this category: “Drunken Debrief”

Military Themed Unscripted

Winner: “Reinforcements”

Also nominated in this category:Letters: The Hero’s Journey,” “Steel Leaves,” “Valor: Jack Ensch,” “Valor: Ralph Rush,” “The Captain: A Bond of Brotherhood,” “We Answered the Call,” “Normandy: A World Apart,” “Return to Iwo Jima,” and “Three Miles From Safety.”

Veteran Created Production

Winner: “Please Hold”

“Please Hold” is a film about an Afghanistan and Iraq Combat Veteran named Jacob, who, while trying to pursue the next chapter in his life post-military service, is finding it incredibly difficult to get the help he needs in dealing with his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. After serving four tours as a United States Marine in the Middle East; Jacob has come back home to find an apathetic society who seems almost oblivious to the true trials and tribulations that he and his fellow veterans experience in these seemingly never-ending wars. The film invites the audience on a journey that many veterans experience while interacting with different segments of our society as they try to reintegrate themselves back to a life they have long forgotten and depicts the hardships and frustrations that many veterans feel when they come back home.

Also nominated in this category: “To Those Who Serve,” “Brody.”

US Military Themed International

Winner: “Who’s Afraid of the Big Black Wolf?”

In 1944, somewhere in occupied Central Europe, Who’s Afraid of the Big Black Wolf tells the story of a multicultural triangle between a little shepherd and two officers from the opposite sides in a sensual and emotional Alpine story of two tunes and one whistle.

Military Themed Ad/PSA/Music Video

Winner: “Naptown Funk”

Also nominated in this category:Marine Corp Energy Ethos,” “Still Building a Legacy,” and “Stand.”

Miami Vet Fest was possible thanks to the support of the following sponsors:

We Are The Mighty is proud to be a part of the first annual Miami Vet Fest and to support veteran filmmakers.

For more information on the Miami Vet Fest, check out http://miamiwebfest.com/miami-vet-fest/.

MIGHTY MOVIES

8 Marvel super heroes that served in the US Army

With three of the four largest names at Timely Comics (which would eventually become Marvel Comics) being U.S. Army veterans, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that many of the biggest names in their story lines center around U.S. Army veterans. Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and Syd Shores all served in World War II. (The fourth? Joe Simon. And he was in the Coast Guard).


Related: These military veterans created you favorite comic books.

 

Whether they gained their powers through a Super Soldier project, magic, or even just skill — these Marvel super heroes proved to everyone the enduring strength of Army values.

Steve Rogers (Captain America) – World War II

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

In case you didn’t already know, the $12 billion film franchise and the most patriotic hero, Steve Rogers, was in the U.S. Army. Being a frail and weak soldier who still wanted to protect his people, he enrolls in the Super Soldier project. This grants him super strength, healing, and reflexes. He is also a master strategist and Earth’s greatest martial artist.

And if you’ve been reading the headlines and not the actual new comic storyline, no, the real Captain America is not Hydra, nor a Nazi.

Isaiah Bradley (Captain America) – World War II

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panel via Truth: Red, White & Black #2)

Following the success of the first Captain America, Marvel tried to experiment again with another super soldier serum through an analogy of the real world Tuskegee experiment.

Isaiah Bradley was the only survivor. His powers mimic that of Steve Rogers, but his mind is constantly deteriorating and he became sterile (much like the effects of syphilis).

In the short lived but phenomenally written story “Truth: Red, White & Black” and then “The Crew” Bradley takes on the mantle of Captain America while Rogers was frozen in ice. Through it, the series ends with a man who saved countless lives, saved the world, and is now forgotten to history.

Josiah X “Bradley” (Justice) – Vietnam War

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panel via The Crew #2)

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree with Isaiah Bradley’s son when the story of “The Crew” shifts. Josiah’s story takes place in the backdrop of the Vietnam War and then ’70s violence in Brooklyn. His powers are still the same of the other Captain Americas, and he’s armed with his father’s shield.

Writer’s Note: Seriously, I can’t recommend Christopher Priest’s work on this series enough. It’s one of the best damned comics I’ve ever read.

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) – World War II

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Screen grab from Captain America: The First Avenger)

Thought killed in the same issue that Captain America joined the Avengers, James Buchanan Barnes was unveiled as the Winter Soldier. The once sidekick to Captain America became a coldblooded assassin and spy. He later regained his humanity and joined his old comrade and friend on the Avengers.

The name “Winter Soldier” is from Thomas Paine’s “The American Crisis” and an organization of Vietnam Veterans against the war. “The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country.”

Nick Fury (The Unseen) – World War II

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panel via Wolverine: Origins)

From leading his Howling Commandos to become the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., to transforming into the silent observer of Earth, Nick Fury has done it all without any actual abilities — and with only one eye. He has the Infinity Formula which kept him from aging, but it was with his mind and skill on the battlefield that allowed him to take down nearly every superhero in the Marvel universe.

Nick Fury — in both the main universe and “Ultimate Universe” (where he’s redesigned to look like Samuel L. Jackson) — many of his Howling Commandos, as well as his son Nick Fury Jr., all served in the U.S. Army.

Professor Charles Xavier (Professor X) and Cain Marko (Juggernaut) – Korean War

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panels from Uncanny X-Men #12)

The story of both Professor X and Juggernaut’s time in the Korean War go hand in hand, with the stepbrothers both serving in the Army during the Korean war.

Charles had earned his Ph.D. in genetics before he was drafted and assigned to the same unit as his brother. When Cain deserted under fire, Charles went to retrieve him. He found himself in an ancient temple and gained magical powers of strength and immortality — making him an unstoppable force.

Charles, of course, has always had mutant powers.

Charles Xavier has been portrayed in the movies by Sir Patrick Stewart. The son of a regimental sergeant major in the British Army who’s unit was present in the Dunkirk evacuation, Stewart cites his father for inspiration for many of his roles on screen and stage.

Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson (Agent Venom) – Iraq War

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panel via Amazing Spider-Man #574)

The former bully turned friend of the high school student Peter Parker (Spider-Man) enlisted in the U.S. Army to fight in Iraq where he lost his legs on the battlefield saving his squadmate.

Dealing with depression, alcoholism, and post-traumatic stress, Flash became the new host of the alien Symbiote “Venom.” Mixing the military knowledge of Thompson with the alien abilities of Venom, Agent Venom became one of the newest heroes to Marvel’s line-up in 2008.

I couldn’t tell you what Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures have in mind for Agent Venom after Tom Hardy’s turn as Eddie Brock (Former host of Venom). But I can tell you that I would be 100 percent supportive of Tony Revolori’s depiction taking the oath of enlistment.

Related: 6 superheroes who were also Air Force officers

What other superheroes from the U.S. Army or military do you love? Let us know in the comment section.

*Bonus* Hal Jordan

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Panel via Sub-Mariner Comics #16)

He has no super powers, was only in one issue, and only helped Namor the Submariner fly a plane because he became a pilot for the Army Air Service. The only reason why this one-off character is even remembered is because his looks and military pilot background are the same as another character named Hal Jordan created 10 years later by DC.

MIGHTY MOVIES

9 military movie scenes where Hollywood got it totally wrong

Hollywood makes plenty of military movies, but that doesn’t mean they are always accurate.


Military veterans can be especially judgmental in the accurate portrayal of military films — despite critical and audience acclaim — and some can be impossible to watch when they are filled with technical errors.

Whether its a low budget film you probably haven’t seen or a blockbuster film you love, here are 9 scenes in military movies where Hollywood got it completely wrong.

1. Rambo: First Blood Part II

Mistake: After rescuing the POW’s and getting them on the helicopter, Rambo uses an M72 light anti-tank weapon (LAW) to shoot at the Russian Hind Helicopter and no one on board his helicopter gets hurt.

 

Reality: The back blast of the M72 light anti-tank weapon (LAW) can kill up to 130 feet. Rambo would have killed all the POW’s he just rescued and possibly destroyed the helicopter.

2. The Hurt Locker

Mistake: Sgt. First Class William James goes AWOL to avenge the death of his friend.

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Reality: No soldier in their right mind would go AWOL in combat to avenge someone’s death. He would be prosecuted under the UCMJ. Of course, this is only one of many technical errors in “The Hurt Locker.” This meme pretty much sums it all up:

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

3. Heartbreak Ridge

Mistake: Gunny Highway shoots live rounds at the feet of his Marines during training.

Reality: Sure, realistic training is good for troops headed into combat, but shooting live rounds at troops is a serious offense and Gunny Highway would be prosecuted under the UCMJ.

4. Jarhead

Mistake: After learning the war is over, Marine Anthony Swofford says he never shot his rifle, to which his friend replies: “You can do it now.” He fires his rifle in to the sky and all the Marines follow by shooting wildly in the air.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Reality: Marines are professional and disciplined war fighters. Every one of these Marines would be brought up on charges under the UCMJ.

5. Full Metal Jacket

Mistake: The colonel salutes Joker first after speaking with him at the mass burial site.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Reality: No matter what branch of service, enlisted service members always salute the officers first, not the other way around.

6. Navy SEALs

Mistake: During an operation one of the Navy SEALs addresses a team member by his real name over the radio.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Reality: Real names are never used over the radio during any military operation.

7. Zero Dark Thirty

Mistake: Navy SEALs yelling orders during the Osama Bin Laden mission.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Reality: Unless absolutely necessary, verbal communication during a covert operation, let alone any mission, would not happen. Hand signals would be the primary way of communicating.

8. Top Gun

Mistake: Maverick flying inverted within 3 feet of the MIG while Goose takes a picture.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

Reality: The tails of the fighter jets would be around 9 feet and a collision would be inevitable. There are many, many more problems with “Top Gun,” detailed here.

9. Flesh Wounds

Mistake: A commanding officer in the US Army is wearing a ribbon stack on his camouflage uniform and multiple patches down his sleeve.

 

Reality: The ribbons and patches this “Colonel” wears makes him look more like a boy scout than a soldier. No branch of service allows service members to wear their ribbon stack on their camouflage uniform.

This was only the tip of the iceberg. What other scenes in military movies did you find were total Hollywood screw-ups? Leave a comment.

NOW: 79 Cringeworthy Technical Errors In The Movie ‘Top Gun’

MIGHTY MOVIES

How playing the role of a SEAL Team 6 operator changed this actor’s life

When actor Kyle Schmid landed a role playing one of America’s most elite commandos in the HISTORY drama “SIX,” he knew critics would be looking for every flaw in his portrayal — no matter how small.


Seriously? It was the elite operators from SEAL Team 6 that executed the daring raid that killed terror mastermind Osama bin Laden. And a Canadian-born actor who’d never played a role like this was supposed to pull off a convincing performance of one of the world’s best warriors?

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Photo courtesy of HISTORY)

 

It was a daunting task, but one Schmid took very seriously.

“The entire reason we did this show, and why we all wanted to do it so badly, is we wanted to do something that had integrity at the end of the day,” Schmid said in an exclusive interview with We Are The Mighty. “It’s incredibly important to get all those little things right.”

“We’ll be under the microscope of anyone that’s been in the military who served and is going to pick out the little things that we do wrong — that’s just going to happen,” he added. “But we tried our damnedest to do everything right as we possibly could; we spent a lot of time and energy doing that.”

“SIX” is a new drama series produced by the HISTORY cable channel that takes a deep look into what it’s like to be a member of one of the world’s most elite military units. The show goes well beyond a shoot-em-up (though there’s plenty of door kicking and explosive entries to satisfy any action junky) and explores the toll the high OPTEMPO job of a DevGru operator takes on personal relationships.

What’s more, “SIX” tackles some of the ethical issues these commandos face on each and every mission, and explores how the elite team members deal with lapses of judgement and tactics among themselves.

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Schmid plays SEAL Team 6 operator Alex Caulder, a seemingly free-spirit sailor who’d rather be chasing skirts and riding tubes than jumping out of airplanes and shooting bad guys. But under the hedonistic exterior, the unit’s “point man” is warrior philosopher, acting as his team’s conscience when ops go bad.

“I’ve always been a morally driven and ethical person as a human being,” Schmid said, adding he used the help of military consultants and his own personality to “get in Caulder’s head.”

“It’s all about the choices you make in your life and whether you’re able to stand behind them with the integrity that you want to,” Schmid said.

“There’s a joke the guys were saying on set: ‘You’re too Caulder for Caulder,’ ” Schmid added.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Schmid rocks the MP7 like he was born with one in his hand. (Photo courtesy HISTORY)

But Caulder is more than a thinker — he’s one of the SEAL team‘s best assaulters, flowing through rooms and popping up on tangos like he was born to it. And it’s no accident that the action looks so good on the screen.

Working with tactical trainer and former SEAL Mitch Hall of Trident Focus, the actors on “SIX” spent two weeks learning how to shoot and move like real-world operators.

Schmid recalled that in one of the fight scenes in the first episode, “as point man, I’m pieing these corners and I’ve got my feet wrong and I’m still trying to gauge the depth with my MP7 around the corner so I’m not sticking my head out and getting it blown off and I asked Mitch, ‘let’s do it again to get it right.’ “

It was an intensive course that Schmid took seriously, even taking days off to work at the range and practice his tactics. And when the filming was done for HISTORY’s “SIX,” the actor emerged a changed man.

“This [role] really allowed me to look at life from a different perspective. I learned to turn down my dial — to realize what was important and what was worth worrying about,” Schmid says. “On the other side … I’m much more aware of my surroundings, constantly living in the ‘yellow’ — and I gotta tell you, it’s a pretty good way to be living.”

Two seasons of HISTORY’s “SIX” is available to watch on Hulu

 

MIGHTY MOVIES

10 of the best ‘Full Metal Jacket’ memes ever made

In 1987, Stanley Kubrick released one of the most acclaimed feature films that created a stir within the Marine Corps community — Full Metal Jacket. The movie was an instant hit and, suddenly, veterans and active-duty service members of all ages started memorizing the film’s dialogue and working it into their daily conversations.

Although the film debuted more than 30 years ago, its epic storyline and unique characters contribute to today’s popular culture. Full Metal Jacket still manages to engage audiences, even after we’ve seen it a dozen times. Now, in the age of memes, Full Metal Jacket lives on.


The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Why isn’t he standing at the position of attention?

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

We, of course, choose Animal Mother.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Taking jabs at Pvt. Pyle never gets old.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Too bad his vacation didn’t end well…

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

“Ain’t war hell?”

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

See!

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

He was the guest of honor.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

So that’s what Animal Mother’s problem was. We were way off!

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Neither game has a winner…

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Now that’s a war face.

Articles

The real defenders of Benghazi want you to know “13 Hours” is the truth

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
(Paramount Pictures)


We Are The Mighty recently had the opportunity to sit down with the principals behind “13 Hours” and chat with them about the film, including their sense of how accurate it is. And while the past three years have been full of rumor and innuendo around what happened that fateful night in 2012 in Benghazi, the CIA security contractors who rescued the the Americans and defended the annex want the world to know what’s in the movie “13 Hours” is what really happened on the ground.

Watch:

Director Michael Bay has always been more than a vocal supporter of the military. No matter what his detractors might say, on his film sets, he always makes a concerted effort to get the reality of modern-day U.S. military personnel right. He believes this might be his most realistic movie ever.

Watch:

The film stars John Krasinski as Jack Silva, a CIA contractor and former Navy SEAL who joins a security team already based in Benghazi.

Watch:

Other members of the team include James Badge Dale (“Rone”), Pablo Schreiber (“Tanto”), David Denman (“Boon”), Max Martini (“Oz”), and Dominic Fumusa (“Tig”). To a man, each one told We Are The Mighty how important the realism of the movie was to their performance.

Dale, who has portrayed military personnel before in HBO’s World War II epic miniseries The Pacific, found his preparation for this film different than anything he’s done before. (This time he’s also portraying a former Navy SEAL.)

Watch:

Pablo Schreiber and David Denman play a Marine veteran and Army Ranger veteran who assist with the rescue. Their experiences getting to know the real operators they play onscreen gave them a deep appreciation of the men and what happened there.

Watch:

Max Martini and Dominic Fumusa trained with former Navy SEALs and contractors throughout the filming of the movie. The real defenders of Benghazi watched them as they brought the events of that day back to life.

Watch:

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi is in theaters Friday. Follow the film on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

MIGHTY MOVIES

5 interesting things you should know about the Yautja

We first learned of the Yautja when Arnold Schwarzenegger went toe-to-toe with one in a South American jungle in the 1987 sci-fi action-thriller, Predator. Since then, these aliens have become a lauded piece of nerdy pop-culture. The latest installment in the franchise is coming out later this year, so now’s the time to learn as much about these interstellar hunters as possible.

You might know that these aliens are efficient trackers and killers — hence the name Predator. You might even know about their active camouflage, energy blasters, and cool nuke wristbands. But if you didn’t know the proper name for this species before now, then you’ve got a lot to learn.

We’re here to lead you down the rabbit hole. Here are a few things you should know about these badasses before checking out The Predator later this year.


The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

There are two main tribes of Yautja — who are at constant war with each other.

(Twentieth Century Fox)

They have a warrior culture

Despite being capable of interstellar travel, the Yautja’s civilization is built around a tribal structure and a warrior culture. They value experienced warriors and the only way to earn respect is through battle.

They hunt for sport

You may have picked up on this in the original Predator when the mercenaries come across skinned corpses and shrines made of skulls. They don’t hunt for survival, they hunt for trophies. We mentioned above that the Yautja earn respect in battle — what better way to command respect than by weaving a vest of your enemies’ skulls?

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

They respect opponents who choose to face them head on.

(Twentieth Century Fox)

They only hunt formidable prey

They don’t just hunt something easy and say, “I killed a cricket, respect me.” No, they only target opponents who present a real threat to them, like Dutch’s mercenary team in the original film.

Any human who defeats one in single combat earns their respect

Compared to the Yautja, that humans are weak, fragile creatures. So, it’s pretty obvious why an alien race that prides itself on hunting and killing extremely dangerous creatures would respect a human who can survive a one-on-one fight.

Comrades of a fallen Yautja have been known to even award the human with a rare weapon as a sign of respect.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Humans can only hope they hunt each other into mutual extinction…

(Twentieth Century Fox)

They hunt Xenomorphs as a rite of passage

Remember the aliens from, well, Alien? When a Yautja is coming of age, they must endure a ritual in which they hunt a Xenomorph, which are considered the ultimate prey in their culture. If one can defeat a Xenomorph, they earn the respect of their tribe.

To signify their success in hunting a Xenomorph, a Yautja will mark their helmets using the alien’s acidic blood.


MIGHTY MOVIES

Meet television’s most hunted former Navy SEAL

Joel Lambert spent ten years as a Navy SEAL and is now the star of the Discovery Channel’s “Lone Target” (called “Manhunt” outside the U.S.)


“In China, it’s called ‘Capture the Special Master,’ and that’s awesome,” Lambert says.

“Lone Target” pits Lambert and his survival and evasion skills against some of the world’s best trackers, from Maori warriors in New Zealand to the U.S. Army’s Phantom Recon unit in the Arizona deserts. He is inserted into the “Hunter Force Unit’s” area of control and must reach a designated extraction point within a certain amount of time.

 

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

“SERE [survival, evasion, resistance, escape] was something I enjoyed as a SEAL,” Lambert says. “The field craft, SERE, heavy weapons and explosives were the kind of things I gravitated towards and did a lot of training in.”

Before he trained with the Navy, Lambert actually did some acting.

“I had a background in commercials,” Lambert says. “I never thought this would ever be part of my life again. A friend of mine said he was putting a show together, looking for special operations guys with tracking and survival background. I went out there and saw they had guys from [the British] Special Air Service, Recon Marines, all these guys with specific skills sets. I thought, okay maybe this is more than just a guy trying to cobble together a pilot.”

He was right. “Lone Target” is a hit for the Discovery Channel. And what Lambert did next would change his life.

“I ran into the desert, built some booby traps, talked about tracking and tactics, the psychology of being hunted or hunting,” he says. “They offered me the gig and I thought, ‘I don’t want to do this.’ My ego is at stake. I’m going to be wearing that trident on my chest whether I talk about it or not. I’m going to be representing all my brothers. It was a huge risk.”

“Those are exactly the reasons why I had to do it,” he laughs. “It was the most amazing experience.”

Lambert was caught three time out of six in the first season and only once the second.

“It’s a very hard thing, especially doing it in daytime so we can film and I have a camera guy with me,” he says. “All the things that are necessary to making the show handicap me, not the hunter force. At first I thought it was just unfair, but the more I thought about it, I was like, ‘You know what? It makes it even better because when I do get away because then I’ve really pulled some shit off.'”

A show with insurmountable odds each week is the perfect fit for a guy who joined the military just to be a SEAL. When he was ten years old his father introduced him to a friend who had just finished BUDS, and the young lad was taken with the stories about how challenging it was both physically and mentally.  That feeling stuck with him until he focused on getting in peak shape at age 22.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
Basic Underwater Demolition/Seals students swim 100 meters with bound hands and feet as part of their first-phase swimming test. The test is used as a tool to examine how comfortable each student feels underwater. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Shauntae Hinkle)

“I moved into this crackerbox studio apartment and started doing nothing but training because I wasn’t sure I had it in me physically,” Lambert says. “I woke up five in the morning, out there running five miles in boots, doing hundreds of push ups. I think it was a little over a year that I really dedicated everything in my life to training for BUDS.”

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
SEAL qualification training (SQT) students from Class 268 perform buddy carries between stations during a 36-round shooting test at Camp Pendleton. SQT is a six-month training course that all SEAL candidates must complete before being assigned to a SEAL team. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Michelle Kapica)

But not everyone can be the subject of their own Discovery Channel show, so Lambert has a little advice for those whose military specialty doesn’t exactly have a civilian counterpart.

“I see these guys like Team Rubicon, they’re moving from swinging the sword to building the city,” he says. “Ryan Zinke, Montana Congressman, he’s moving from kicking in doors to leading and serving. Just because you’re not toting a weapon anymore doesn’t mean your path has ended. It’s there, you just keep moving forward.”

Articles

Clint Eastwood casts Paris train heroes as themselves in film

The three Americans who thwarted a terrorist attack on a train bound for Paris will be playing themselves in the upcoming film “The 15:17 to Paris,” directed by Clint Eastwood.


According to a report by the Hollywood Reporter, Anthony Sadler, Alek Skarlatos and Spencer Stone will be acting alongside Jenna Fischer (The Office), Judy Greer, and Ray Croasini in the film.  Eastwood, whose films Sully and American Sniper both garnered Academy Award nominations, is producing the film with Tim Moore, Kristina Rivera and Jessica Meier. According to Variety.com, filming of the project began on Tuesday.

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Defense Secretary Ash Carter awards the Soldier’s Medal to Spc. Alek Skarlatos, Oregon National Guard, the Airman’s Medal to Airman 1st Class Spencer Stone and the Defense Department Medal for Valor to Anthony Sadler, at a ceremony in the Pentagon courtyard Sept. 17, 2015. (U.S. Army National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Michelle Gonzalez)(Released)

TheTrackingBoard.com had reported that Eastwood had initially wanted to cast Kyle Gallner, Jeremie Harris and Alexander Ludwig as the three heroes in the film, which is based on a book by Sadler, Skarlatos, and Stone.

On August 21, 2015, Skarlatos, an Oregon National Guard soldier, Stone, an Airman assigned to the 65th Air Base Group, and Sadler, a high school classmate who was attending college, thwarted an attack being carried out by a “lone wolf” terrorist who had an AKM assault rifle. Skarlatos, Stone, and Sadler tackled the gunman, whose rifle had jammed, then Stone, a medic, treated a passenger who had been shot in the neck by the jihadist, despite being wounded himself. Skarlatos received the Soldier’s Medal for his actions that day, while Stone received the Airman’s Medal and Purple Heart. Sadler was awarded the Secretary of Defense Medal of Valor.

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Master Sgt. Tanya Hubbard, 60th Medical Group, left, and Staff Sgt. Roberto Davila, 60th Medical Group, right, tack staff sergeant stripes on to Spencer Stone.  (U.S. Air Force photo by Ken Wright)

The casting of Skarlatos, Stone, and Sadler is not the first time a military hero portrayed himself. In 1955, Medal of Honor recipient Audie Murphy portrayed himself in “To Hell and Back,” based on his 1949 memoirs. It should also be noted that in 2012, the movie Act of Valor starred Navy SEALs as themselves, but in a fictional scenario. The SEALs were not formally credited in the movie directed by Scott Waugh and “Mouse” McCoy.

MIGHTY MOVIES

5 of the best ‘Schoolhouse Rock!’ songs by the jazz legend and veteran who just died

Bob Dorough was a prolific bebop and jazz musician whose popularity and talent earned him spots as a sideman alongside the likes of John Zorn and Miles Davis. But the talented jazzman got his start in music as a pianist, clarinetist, saxophonist, and arranger for the U.S. Army’s Special Services Band toward the end of World War II.

He died in Pennsylvania on April 23, 2018, at age 94, NPR reports.


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(Photo by Brian McMillen)

Though his jazz career blossomed after the war, what became his life’s work didn’t start until 1973, when he was first asked to take the musical reins of a show that was to “set the multiplication tables to music.” Thus began the decades-long, beloved show Schoolhouse Rock! A program that educated and entertained generations of American kids.

Dorough didn’t sing all the songs performed on Schoolhouse Rock!, but he did have a hand in the music and lyrics, either in whole or in part, for every iteration of the show. Multiplication Rock, Grammar Rock, America Rock, Science Rock, Money Rock, and Earth Rock are just a few of his best.

5. “I’m Gonna Send Your Vote To College”

“I’m Gonna Send Your Vote to College” was the Schoolhouse Rock! way of explaining the Electoral College system. The song’s music and lyrics were written by George R. Newall and Bob Dorough and it was performed by Jack Sheldon (of “I’m Just A Bill” fame) and Bob Dorough.

4. “The Shot Heard ‘Round the World”

“The Shot Heard Round the World” first aired in 1975 and is part of Schoolhouse Rock!’s telling of the American Revolution, from Paul Revere’s ride to the shots fired at Lexington. Bob Dorough was responsible for the music, lyrics, and vocals in this gem.

3. “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here”

Dorough also did the lyrics, music, and vocals for this 1974 primer on the use of English adverbs. It was with this number that Sheldon and Lynn Ahrens became regulars to the series alongside Dorough.

2. “Conjunction Junction”

Jack Sheldon, Terry Morel, and Mary Sue Berry did the vocals on this catchy Dorough song about the many grammatical uses of conjunctions. To this day, Sheldon’s memorable voice plays in many of our minds when we think back to the rules of conjunction.

1. “Three Is A Magic Number”

Three Is A Magic Number” was the pilot for the entire Schoolhouse Rock! series. It first aired in February 1973 and led to Bob Dorough’s decades-long career of educating children like nobody else could.

Articles

10 reasons James Bond is the worst spy ever

By now, we should all understand the life of Ian Fleming’s signature British spy is nothing like the real world of clandestine international espionage agents. The Silver Screen Bond is less clandestine, more clandestish. Even so, there are probably a million reasons any guy would want to be James Bond, and most of those reasons are why he’s a terrible spy.


1. He uses his real name

Secrecy is the most necessary element in the world of spies, so it’s a bad idea to use a real name. Even if James Bond is a cover name, he still uses the same cover name every time. Which is pretty much the same thing and seems like terrible espionage. Knowing how great Bond is with disguises, if he had to make up his own cover name every time, it would probably be just as useless.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
Bond is supposed to be Japanese here. No that’s not a joke.

He’s much better at thinking of bad puns after killing people. No wonder he needs so much help on every mission. Helping Bond can be hazardous to your health. For instance, a guy named Quarrel helps Bond throughout Dr. No and 007 lets Quarrel get torched by an armored flamethrower. Valentin Zukovsy saves Bond, his missions, and the world banking system in two films and Bond lets him get shot to death. And then, like a uniquely British STD, there’s the slew of women who die after a night with him.

2. He cares more about bedding women than any mission

That 007 cares more about sleeping with women than completing (or starting) a mission comes up more than once. In fact, in the first few movies, he doesn’t start his super-important missions until after sleeping with some woman he just met.

That those women usually don’t make it to the end credits is more evidence that James Bond should not be the clandestine agent Great Britain depends on for its security. It’s almost as if these women had to sleep with James Bond.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
That’s the actual line from the movie.

If Bond cared about them, they would probably have a higher survival rate. The only woman Bond ever saved without banging was M, and he couldn’t get away fast enough. It literally took 5 seconds. This also probably why she survives to be in other movies.

If Bond doesn’t care about them, he sure takes it personally every time one of them dies or betrays him — another terrible trait for a spy. Natalya Simonova was one the best Bond girls, but driving a tank around St. Petersberg trying to save her is a great way to blow your cover. Speaking of which…

3. He blows his cover on every mission

In Dr. No, Bond spends half the movie trying to convince an islander to help him infiltrate Dr. No’s radioactive island. He finally does and they sneak on in the middle of the night, only for Bond to give them away first thing the next morning when he sees a woman in a bikini.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

In Goldfinger, he’s supposed to monitor Goldfinger, but instead of that, he immediately breaks into Goldfinger’s suite, introduces himself to Goldfinger’s employee, taunts him via radio, forces him to lose thousands of dollars, then bangs his employee! Is anyone surprised when Goldfinger knocks Bond out in his own kitchen? In my opinion, Jill got dipped in gold paint because she makes poor life choices.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
At least she’s wearing clean underwear.

That was Goldfinger’s employee. In Thunderball, 007 sleeps with his mark’s girlfriend.

4. He drinks like it’s his job

The drinking. All the drinking. The guy is clearly an alcoholic. In the U.S., you can’t even get a top secret security clearance with that much alcohol use, let alone be the top field agent. How does Bond not die in alcohol-related incidents? Or of cirrhosis?

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
One thing at a time, man!

He needs booze to do anything. Sure, we can give him a pass for having a drink while gambling. That helps maintain an effective cover. But how many does he need for that purpose? This is the guy who keeps a bottle of chilled champagne in his tricked-out Aston-Martin just in case he has a lady in need of an emergency picnic. And he pops the compartment open in a move that would make Glenn Quagmire proud.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

With the exception of Timothy Dalton’s chronically misdressed Bond (he wears a shabby wool suit to work and a tuxedo to the carnival), 007 always looks impeccable. How does Bond always manage to look so suave and clean? With as much as he drinks and spends all night every night shagging some new girl, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be tired, unshaven, and smelling like liquor.

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ARCHER IS A DOCUMENTARY

 5. He gets captured all the time

Dr. No captures Bond and serves him breakfast. Bond immediately allows himself to be drugged by drinking the coffee like it was life-giving vodka. When he’s trying to turn a Russian general’s girlfriend in The Living Daylights, he CHUGS the martini she gives him. Drugged again. It’s a miracle he ever escapes anything alive. Poisoned vodka should have been enough to kill 007 in 1965 but then again, alcohol poisoning should have done him in a dozen times.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
This should have been the end of every movie.

Alec Trevelyan captures him twice. In Afghanistan, he escapes capture from the Soviets, only to be immediately captured by the Muhajeddin. Elecktra King doesn’t have any special powers or weapons and she captures 007 AND M. Goldfinger captured 007 and carted him around the world for at least a week. James Bond drove up to Harlem in the 1970s, tailing a gangster, then walked right into his nightclub. He was captured and held at gunpoint in about thirty seconds. Later in the same movie (Live and Let Die) he does it again.

6. He never notices the mole in MI6

Every time he travels, every where he goes, the enemy always knows his exact schedule. It doesn’t matter if it’s Eastern Europe, Turkey, or Jamaica, enemy agents always know when his flight arrives and what the world’s top secret superspy looks like. It also doesn’t matter who the enemy is, SPECTRE, Russia, or Dr. No.  Ignoring M16’s mole entirely, Bond spends a lot of tim in Dr. No trying to interrogate his people. When he finally subdues a geology professor who tires to kill him, 007 just shoots him instead of asking him anything.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

In Casino Royale, he doesn’t even bother to check what bank account Vesper Lynd transfers the money to. That could have been a great clue into what was really going on.

7. He rarely searches his hotel rooms for thugs, bugs, or anything

In Goldfinger, Bond blows up a drug lab and then walk right to the bar (surprise) to bang a dancer (big surprise). He walks into her room and starts undressing, missing the thug waiting to kill him. He only notices in the reflection on her eyeball. As the attacker drops the blow, he spins around and lets the lady take it.

In From Russia With Love, after not being in his hotel for two days, he just waltzes in, disrobes and orders breakfast. He doesn’t search for bugs or bombs or anything. THERE’S SOMEONE IN HIS BED and he doesn’t even notice. When he finds out its a woman, He even allows himself to be filmed having sex with her, his Russian informant, who is double crossing him.

It’s a good thing SPECTRE is as incompetent as he is. Even Blofeld, the most epic of all his nemeses, met an ignominious end when Bond dropped his WHEELCHAIR down a smokestack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U00tRdMKTqI

8. He hangs out with the supervillains he’s supposed to take out

In Live and Let Die, 007 disarms and captures a woman by burning the assailant’s drawn gun hand with a cigar while breaking into his hotel room. She says she’s CIA… and that’s good enough for James Bond, even though she can’t do any actual spy stuff or shoot a weapon. He sleeps with her anyway, then spends the next day fishing with her.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but fishing maybe?

Bond spends DAYS with Pussy Galore and Goldfinger without trying to escape even once. He drinks with Emilio Largo, vacations with Electra King, and bangs media baron Elliot Carver’s wife while staying at his house in Hamburg.

9. He’s a huge drain on the taxpayer

And doesn’t James Bond live a really lavish lifestyle for spy? Tuxedos, Aston-Martins, Gambling in the Riviera, not to mention all these other exotic locales? Why doesn’t SPECTRE set up shop in places that are little more out of reach for the West, like Sudan or North Korea? The Bahamas seems like a terrible place to start an evil plan or terrorist group. Bond’s life is one of tuxedos, luxury cars, and champagne.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

Cost Benefit analysis: how much does it cost for James Bond to stop these villains vs. What the villains actually want. How much was that invisible car? How many people died to get Bond in Space? At some point we have to wonder if it wouldn’t be cheaper just to let the bad guys win one. But be advised: When he doesn’t get his way, he rebels and becomes an enemy of the state.

10. He destroys everything

He destroys national monuments, kills local cops, and troops who are only doing their job, even when Russia isn’t the bad guy. It’s not like the cops know who he is, they’re just trying to protect the innocent. Someone let James Bond know Blue Lives Matter. And he can’t just kill someone. It takes four cars, two helicopters, and a train to get to the bad guy. Even when he’s assigned to get one guy, 007 blows up half an african embassy to do it (and gets caught on camera in the process).

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
Even if Bond is a cover name used by many agents, he just blew his cover (see reason #3).

On that note, who is the bad guy here? Isn’t M16 supposed to be supporting justice and peace? Instead their main guy is blowing up dams and trashing cities. He drove a tank through an apartment in St. Petersburg.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
Because f*ck you and everything you love.

If he pulled this stuff in the U.S. it would be on Fox News in heartbeat, and there goes his cover. He ruins weddings, birthdays, and lives.

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time
And especially vacations. Rue Brittania.

BONUS: Q Branch isn’t that great either.

Pen grenade? Awesome. Magnet and/or laser watch? Perfect. Crocodile suit? Are you kidding me, Q?

The 7 cheesiest military movies of all time

 

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