5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

If you’re a fan of the Marvel Universe, then this year has been one of the most mind-blowing and entertaining of your nerdtastic life. From Black Panther‘s record-smashing release weekend to the heart-breaking ending of Avengers: Infinity War, 2018 has done a lot for comic-book fans.


Starting with Iron Man in 2008, superheroes has taken on a prominent role in lighting up the big screen. Their wide array of high-powered abilities are fascinating to watch — even if they’re obviously not real. The true heroes are our service members, men and woman who risk life and limb each day — even without divine superpowers or extreme genetic mutation.

As anyone who has ever gone through boot camp can tell you, it’s not all bronze that gets you through basic. You need a certain mental fortitude if you’re going to make the cut. With that in mind, let’s break down Marvel’s Avengers and see who wouldn’t cut it in the military.

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Iron Man

“Take away his suit and what do you have left?” Tony Stark would proudly answer back, “a genius, billionaire playboy philanthropist.” Good answer, but these are all characteristics that would make Iron Man an outstanding civilian. How would he fair up in boot?

Let’s see how far daddy’s money will take him when he’s stripped of his suit, money, and nice hair cut. Iron Man is tough — of that there’s no doubt — but we also know how Tony gets when he doesn’t have his way. He’s a problem-solver, but he’s not one for regulations. In short, Tony Stark is not the battle buddy I’d want watching my 6.

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Scarlet Witch

Scarlet Witch has the power to levitate items at will and hurl them at the enemy. This is a perfect ability to have in any branch. You can deflect bullets from incoming assailants or save a ship from a missile strike. This superpower that could, potentially, save thousands of lives makes Scarlet Witch a powerful asset to any team.

Power, however, has proven itself to be useless without grit. Yes, Scarlet is powerful and has abilities that can quickly upset the balance, but hesitation during battle often makes the biggest difference.

In the real world, battle doesn’t stop for speeches. If Scarlet Witch needs a motivational essay before using her powers, she might as well be carrying an M16 without any 5.56mm rounds.

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Spider-Man

We all know the story: He got bit by a radioactive spider and now he’s fast, strong, and has amazing reflexes. Spider-Man would make the perfect recruit on paper. He’s be an excellent infiltrator and reconnaissance expert.

The problem is that this kid just doesn’t know when it’s time to shut his mouth. Yes, he has the skills, but let’s remember that loose lips sink ships, Mr. Parker.

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Thor

He’s the God of Thunder, Son of Odin, and one of, if not, the strongest Avenger. This blonde-haired, Fabio-looking strongman is not only impenetrable to harm, but also wields a Hammer that grants him the ability to fly.

Thor would make the cut for almost any special operations team the military has to offer. However, good luck getting him to follow orders.

Being an immortal God has a way of turning one into a lone wolf. Thor would find himself in and out the military faster than you can say Mjölnir!

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The Hulk

Last and most certainly not least, we have the man of the hour: The Incredible Hulk. As Bruce Banner, this Avenger would make the perfect troop. He’s smart, he’s cunning, he follows orders, and he’s always ready to help.

Sounds like the perfect recruit, right? Wrong. Bruce Banner is the perfect definition of someone who goes postal. Let’s see how long Bruce can be barked at by drill instructors before the mean green surfaces. He’d be great for a raid, but try finding a redhead in the Middle East to calm this beast down when he’s chocked full of rage.

Let’s just say court=martial is most definitely a part of his near future.

Military Life

What science says about the ‘marching on bridges’ myth

The military community is fond of its little myths and urban legends. Some of those repeated tall tales get so shrouded in mystery that, eventually, nobody questions them. On occasion, these unfounded urban legends get so widely accepted that they get written into regulations.

It is because of this phenomenon that the British Army has had a standing order since 1831 to never march in-step on a bridge.


At first glance, the reasoning seems silly. On April 12th, 1831, 74 soldiers were marching across the Broughton Suspension Bridge near Salford, England. The bridge, which was completed in 1826, was one of the first suspension bridges ever built in Europe.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
Keep in mind that this is a 1883u00a0recreation,u00a0but it was rebuilt to be exactly the same.
(Courtesy Photo)

According to the story, the troops’ synchronized march caused the bridge to vibrate at just the right frequency which, in turn, caused it to collapse. Thankfully for all the troops involved, no one was killed and only a few had broken bones, but ever since then, troops are given the command of “Break Step” (the British equivalent of the command “Route Step, March”) when they cross a bridge.

As unbelievable as that might sound, there’s strong scientific evidence to corroborate the story. The conditions need to be exactly precise for it to happen — but it is possible. When the Mythbusters first took on this story, they deemed it false. However, in a rare redaction, the dynamic duo reclassified this myth as “plausible.”

This is because of the power of resonance. Think of an opera singer who can break a wine glass just by singing. Repeated vibrations at an object’s resonant frequency will weaken the structural integrity of a solid object and, in some rare cases, even break it. Fragile objects, like a wine glass or, in this case, a flimsy bridge, are most susceptible.

A resonant frequency can only be hit if several conditions are met: The source must be extremely powerful, the pulses of force must be sent out a very precise frequency, and there must be no other frequencies interfering it. All of those requirements were met when the soldiers marched on the bridge while remaining completely in-step. There’s a one-in-a-billion chance of the soldiers’ march hitting that perfect the frequency, but in this case, it seems they did.

This was, in essence, a much smaller-scale version of what happened on the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in 1940.

The workaround, thankfully, is really simple: If troops aren’t marching at exactly the same frequency, everything’s fine. Bridges built by today’s standards are far more sturdy than the Broughton Bridge, but little oddities like this are fascinating nonetheless.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This forgotten WWII battle shows even a lucky break can be costly

During World War II, American troops dreaded hitting the beach in the Pacific Theater. They knew full-well that they would be in for a fierce fight when going up against Japanese troops, who fought fanatically, either with furious banzai charges or from well-built fortifications. But in one invasion, troops caught a break — the enemy wasn’t there.

On Guadalcanal, Marines manged to hold down a heavily supply line — a task that famously marked by vicious battles. When American troops went on to reclaim the Aleutian islands of Attu and Kiska, they expected a similar fight.


5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Almost immediately after Japan seized Attu and Kiska, American air strikes rained death and destruction.

(DOD)

The islands had been taken by Japanese troops in June, 1942, as part of an effort to divert American attention from Midway. While Japan did assume control over the islands, the distraction didn’t work, largely due to a brilliant piece of work by Jasper Holmes.

The occupation was not pleasant for Japanese garrisons. From almost the very moment those islands were seized, American air and naval forces constantly pounded the islands with air strikes and bombardments. In March, 1943, an outnumbered and outgunned U.S. Navy task force drove away a heavily-escorted Japanese convoy in the Battle of the Komandorski Islands.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

USS Pennsylvania (BB 38) opens fire on Japanese positions on Kiska.

(US Navy)

Two months later, American forces stormed the beaches of Attu. After 18 days of fighting, which culminated in a banzai charge on May 29, 1943, the Japanese garrison was wiped out. 580 American troops and well over 2,000 Japanese troops were killed in action.

Three more months of air raids and naval bombardment followed for Kiska. But when the invasion force arrived, the island was empty. Japanese forces had managed to evacuate this garrison. Still, between accidents, disease, friendly fire, and frostbite, American and Canadian forces suffered over 300 casualties, which shows that even a lucky break can be costly.

MIGHTY HISTORY

Hitler had no idea the Soviets were so strong before invading

By the time Nazi Germany launched Operation Barbarossa, they were already at war with the British Empire, Yugoslavia, and Greece. Poland, France, and much of Western Europe had already fallen, but governments in exile joined the Allied effort against the Axis powers. So, the natural thing to do would be invade the world’s largest country, right?

If you’re Hitler, obviously, your answer is yes.


But Hitler just secured dominance of Continental Europe and was risking it by going up against a major world power with whom he had a treaty of nonaggression. Hitler’s lebensraum theory aside, the reason he launched the 1941 attack on the Soviet Union is that he just didn’t know how strong the Soviet Union actually was.

Intel and all that.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Yeah, no big deal.

There is only one audio recording of Adolph Hitler speaking in a conversational voice, as opposed to the multitude of films of the man making incendiary speeches at rallies and events. He is speaking with the Commander-In-Chief of Finnish Defense Forces Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim, who was engaged with the Third Reich in a war against the USSR.

If someone had told me that a country could start with 35,000 tanks, then I’d have said, ‘You are crazy!’,” the German dictator told Mannerheim in the 1942 recording. “If one of my generals had stated that any nation had 35,000 tanks, I’d have said: ‘You, my good sir, you see everything twice or ten times.You are crazy, you are seeing ghosts.’

In the 11-minute audio clip obtained by the History Channel, Mannerheim and Hitler were recorded secretly by a Finnish engineer, since Hitler would never allow such recordings. The SS soon realized the dictator was being recorded and ordered the engineer to shut it off immediately. He was somehow allowed to keep it a secret — and he did, until 1957.

“It was unbelievable,” he said of a factory in Donetsk that was able to produce some 3,000-6,000 tanks alone before the Nazis shut it down.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Unbelievable.

But Hitler goes on to say that even if he had known about the military and industrial capacity of the Soviet Union’s massive centralized labor force and output potential, he would have invaded anyway. By the winter of 1939-1940, he says, it was clear there would be war between them. He just knew he couldn’t fight the Soviets and the Western Allies in a two-front war — saying it would have broken Nazi Germany.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Well, he got that part right at least.

The Führer goes on to admit that the Germans were poorly prepared to fight a war in the extreme weather of the Eastern Front.

Our whole armament, you know, is a pure good weather armament,” He said. “It is very capable, very good, but is unfortunately just a good weather armament. Our weapons were naturally made for the West… and it was the opinion from the earliest of times: you cannot wage war in winter.”
5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

I’m pretty sure this depiction of Soviet General Winter is what inspired Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.”

Hitler goes on to talk smack about the “weakness of Italy,” referring to Mussolini’s failures in North Africa, Albania, and Greece, where German army and air assets were forced to divert from the buildup to invading the USSR to instead go rescue Italian troops being repulsed by the Greeks. Three entire divisions were sent to reinforce the Italians instead of invading Russia.

He believed the Soviets had their own designs on ruling all of Europe and that he had to launch when he did to keep them from capturing the oil fields in Romania, which Hitler believed would have been Nazi Germany’s death blow — which wasn’t entirely wrong.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

That’s why the U.S. Army Air Corps blew it up in 1943.

(U.S. Army)

Since the recording was cut off, no one really knows what else the two men talked about in their secret meeting that day, but it’s believed that in that meeting, Mannerheim realized Hitler’s position was weak and would no longer act subordinate to him for the duration of World War II.

Articles

29 of the best politically incorrect Vietnam War slang terms

Every generation of veterans has its own slang. The location of deployed troops, their mission and their allies all make for a unique lingo that can be pretty difficult to forget.


American troops in Vietnam (Pixabay)

That same vernacular isn’t always politically correct. It’s still worth looking at the non-PC Vietnam War slang used by troops while in country because it gives an insight into the endemic and recurring problems they faced at the time.

Here are some of the less-PC terms used by American troops in Vietnam.

Barbecue from a “Zippo Monitor” in Vietnam. (Wikimedia Commons)

Barbecue – Armored Cavalry units requesting Napalm on a location.

Bong Son Bomber – Giant sized joint or marijuana cigarette.

Breaking Starch – Reference to dressing with a new set of dry cleaned or heavily starched fatigues.

Charles – Formal for “Charlie” from the phonetic “Victor Charlie” abbreviation of Viet Cong.

Charm School – Initial training and orientation upon arrival in-country.

Cherry – Designation for new replacement from the states. Also known as the FNG (f*cking new guy), fresh meat, or new citizens.

Coka Girl – a Vietnamese woman who sells everything except “boom boom” to GIs. “Coka” comes from the Vietnamese pronunciation of Coca-Cola, and “boom boom” can be left to your imagination.

Disneyland Far East – Headquarters building of the U.S. Military Assistance Command, Vietnam. It comes from “Disneyland East,” aka the Pentagon.

Donut Dolly – The women of the American Red Cross.

The Donut Dollies. (From “Cherries: A Vietnam War Novel”)

Fallopian tubing for inside the turrets of tanks – Prank used by tankers to send Cherries on a wild goose chase

Flower Seeker – Originated from Vietnamese newspapers; describing men looking for prostitutes.

Heads – Troops who used illicit drugs like marijuana.

Ho Chi Minh Road Sticks – Vietnamese sandals made from old truck tires.

Ho Chi Minh Road Sticks (from “Cherries: A Vietnam War Novel”_

Idiot Stick – Either a rifle or the curved yoke used by Vietnamese women to carry two baskets or water buckets.

Indian Country – Area controlled by Charlie, also known as the “Bush” or the “Sh*t.”

Juicers – Alcoholics.

Little People – Radio code for ARVN soldiers.

Mad Minute – Order for all bunkers to shoot across their front for one minute to test fire weapons and harass the enemy.

Marvin the Arvin – Stereotypical South Vietnamese Army soldier, similar to a Schmuckatelli. The name comes from the shorthand of the Army of the Republic of Vietnam – ARVN.

Number-One GI – A troop who spends a lot of money in Vietnam.

Number-Ten GI – A troop who barely spends money in Vietnam.

Ok Sahlem – Term American soldiers had for villagers’ children who would beg for menthol cigarettes.

Real Life – Also known as Civilian Life; before the war or before the draft.

Remington Raider – Derogatory term, like the modern-day “Fobbit,” For anyone who manned a typewriter.

Re-Up Bird – The Blue Eared Barbet, a jungle bird whose song sounds like “Re-Up.”

“Squaaaaak! Talk to your retention counselor! Squaaaaaaak!”

Search and Avoid – A derogatory term for an all-ARVN mission.

Voting Machine – The nickname given to ARVN tanks because they only come out during a coup d’etat.

Zippo Raids – Burning of Vietnamese villages. Zippo lighters were famously documented by journalist Morley Safer, seen igniting thatch-roof huts.

Lists

6 of the best things about checking into your new infantry unit

In the military, service members come and go as their orders cause them to relocate frequently. This means, at a moment’s notice, you need to pack up your gear and move on to the next portion of your military career.


It’s all a part of the job.

Many troops embrace the change while others have a minor fear of the unknown, which is natural. Although military service can be highly unpredictable, moving on to a new unit or command has its perks.

Related: 6 ways to avoid being ‘that guy’ in your unit

These are the six best things about checking into a new infantry unit:

6. Make a lifetime of memories

Many infantry units just deploy to isolated combat zones, but others sail across the ocean. So, if you’re shipping out on a MEU, grab that shock-proof camera and take some damn photos.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
That moment when your ship pulls up to port and you’re standing at parade rest. Badass. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communications Specialist Seaman Travis J. Kuykendall)

5. A change of scenery

You know that ratty looking place you once called your “workspace?” Yeah, it was kind of crappy, but you still made it work. Luckily, you’re moving on.

Although you might be working in another craphole, at least it’s at a different duty station that you probably chose — since you have a little more “say” where you go for your second command.

4. You could travel the world

Infantrymen and, now, some infantrywomen deploy on combat missions and or sails on ships the world over. You’d never have gotten to experience those moments if you hadn’t left the couch to go to the recruiter’s office.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
How often can you say you helped get rid of a local Taliban infestation? Not too often. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Austin Long).

3. More of chance for advancement

Now that you’re at your new duty station and you have some experience under your belt, you might not have as much competition when it comes to picking up rank rate.

Importing some of the valuable lessons you learned from your previous unit can only boost your appeal — but don’t be cocky.

2. Create new brother and sisterhoods

In the infantry, you’ll meet tons of people from Texas and a few from the other states. Since you’re going to be spending a sh*tload of time with them, friendships tend to build themselves, and those will last for a while — like forever.

Also Read: 12 images that perfectly recall checking into your unit for the first time

1. A fresh start

Although the infantry community is small and your new first sergeant probably knows your old one, it’s still possible to get a fresh start and be better than you were in your previous unit… If you had a previous unit.

Articles

This Navy SEAL will help Americans catch ‘The Runner’ and win thousands in cash

Imagine attempting to make your way across the United States with the entirety of America and the Internet on the lookout for you. Now imagine there are a million dollars at stake: a half-million for the Chase Teams after you and almost a half-million for you if you can evade capture. These are the stakes for “The Runner,” an original series available on go90 and AOL.com and perhaps the most innovate audience-participation reality competition ever devised.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kcm78cj3Dw
“This new show is the most participatory, the most fun, and most exciting to watch,” says Vice News’ Kaj Larsen, a former Navy SEAL and one of the hosts of “The Runner.” “I think the really amazing part is that the audience has buy-in, all puns intended, in a fundamentally different way.”

The rules of the game seem complex, but in practice, they’re really very simple. One chosen Runner will attempt to cross the U.S. in thirty days, trying to go unnoticed through predetermined checkpoints by any means necessary. Meanwhile, five two-person teams of “chasers” will receive clues on mobile devices in an effort to track the Runner before the next checkpoint can be reached.

Kaj Larsen is just one of the hosts. He checks in on the progress of the Runner and the Chase Teams’ locations. His co-host, Mat “MatPat” Patrick, a YouTube star and self-proclaimed “Information Addict,” will ensure everyone understands how “The Runner” is played and what is currently happening in the game.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
CNN correspondent Kaj Larsen films a documentary segment in front of the sail of the attack submarine USS Connecticut (SSN 22) after the submarine surfaced through the ice in the Arctic Ocean during Ice Exercise (ICEX) 2011. (U.S. Navy photo by Lt. Ed Early)

“I’m really the boots on the ground guy,” says Larsen. “My role is to help the audience understand exactly what’s happening with the game of cat and mouse going on between the chasers and the runner. I’ll be watching the Chase Teams working towards their challenges. I’m the tactical, kinetic element.”

“The Runner” uses a proprietary technology that allows the Chase Teams to geotag The Runner within five feet. This is how they “capture” the Runner. Their reward starts at $15,000 and goes up every second of every day of game play, up to a half million dollars. The more the Runner evades the Chase Teams, the more money he gets. The chase teams are given a new challenge every day, a challenge both cerebral and physical which will give them clue to the Runner’s movements.

“We cast a really wide net in trying to find people who had interesting, diverse skill sets that could be applicable to hunting the Runner,” says Larsen. “For example, two guys known as Brother Nature, they’re a group of surfer kids from Hawaii with a large social following.”

That social media following actually matters in this game because their built-in audience will help them crowdsource the answers to these clues. “The Runner” is a more than a game for just the Runner and the Chase Teams. It’s a live game for everyone on the internet. Viewers on social networks will have the opportunity to help interpret the clues for the Chase Teams and get their own cash prize. $15,000 is awarded to viewers every day with a $20,000 bonus to the most socially active viewer.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

“The stakes are really high,” Larsen says. “But it’s a really fun game and Verizon is the perfect platform, given how exciting it is to play on mobile. The more people who play, the more exciting it is and the more money can be won.”

The show is the result of a decade and a half of collaboration and development between Executive Producers Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. It really is groundbreaking – From the core concept to the technology used to track the competitors to the inclusion of the nationwide audience, what we can expect is something truly unique.

“The truth is when Matt and Ben conceived it, the idea was so innovative that the technology didn’t really exist to make it work,” says Larsen. “That’s changed over the last decade. The ability to crowd-source, to use social media to unlock the clues, and to play the gamification side of the game, that’s all here and ready for prime time.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQt90iKs-a4
The Runner launches July 1st, 2016 on go90 and AOL.com. Don’t expect to just be voting every week for an idol or waiting for the show to return from a commercial break to find the outcomes of a segment. “The Runner” features real-time video and three episodes daily, including a recap of the previous day, live updates, current standings, and performance analyses.

“It’s exciting and different,” Larsen says. “We’re getting into new, super-competitive territory. I love competition in any form, but for me, it’s an easy day. I can’t wait to watch these teams compete.”

Access go90 by simply downloading the app from the App Store or Google Play.

Learn more about The Runner at therunner.go90.com

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Watch F-22 pilot fly 10 incredible maneuvers in just 2 minutes

If you thought the ” Top Gun: Maverick” trailer was full of death-defying stunts, it’s got nothing on this hyperlapse video, taken from the cockpit of an F-22 Raptor during a performance at the Fort Lauderdale Air Show in May 2019.

In just two and a half minutes, the pilot performs ten astounding maneuvers, including a Power Loop, a Cobra, and a Tail Slide, where the pilot skims the clear turquoise water of the Atlantic, then launches suddenly into the sky before drifting back down toward the waves.


The barrel rolls, loops, and turns are astounding enough when viewed from the ground, but watching them from inside the cockpit is almost stomach-churning.

While the Raptor demonstration team doesn’t fly in combat, airshows like the one in May show civilians what the F-22 aircraft are capable of — whether cruising over Fort Lauderdale, or over enemy territory.

The F-22 Raptors demonstration team debuted in 2007 and is based at Joint Base Langley-Eustis in Hampton, Virginia. The team has flown in over 250 demonstrations since 2007, including one in August 2019 with the Royal Air Force Red Arrows in New York City.

The F-22 Raptor performs both air-to air missions and air-to-ground missions in combat, and combines features like stealth and supercruising to be one of the world’s foremost air superiority fighters.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Watch Navy SEAL Jocko Willink break down combat scenes

“If your reserve parachute doesn’t work, the procedure is…basically you’re gonna hand salute the world and you’re gonna hit the dirt…because you’re gonna die,” said former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink without much to indicate whether he’s cracking a joke or not.

The retired Lieutenant Commander and recipient of the Silver Star and Bronze Star saw multiple combat deployments, including the Battle of Ramadi in Iraq. After his military career, he created a popular podcast, Jocko Podcast; co-founded Echelon Front, a premier leadership consulting company; and co-authored books like the #1 New York Times bestseller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win.

He’s nothing if not a commanding presence, which makes his commentary on combat scenes from movies all the more entertaining. Willink doesn’t hold back.


Navy SEAL Jocko Willink Breaks Down Combat Scenes From Movies | GQ

www.youtube.com

Willink starts by breaking down the HALO (High Altitude Low Open) jump from Navy SEALS. He goes pretty deep into the mechanics of a HALO jump and mission logistics that are worth watching in the video above, but here’s a highlight:

“In all branches of the military, you rely on each other to make sure you’re safe. The guy’s checking the other person’s pins on his rig to make sure they’re going to deploy the parachute properly…and then he’s messing with him, which is pretty normal, too. If you know someone’s scared of parachuting, then he’s gonna get messed with a little bit more. Never let anyone know you’re scared of something. Just keep it to yourself,” Willink shared — and again…if he’s amused, you’ll never know. The guy has a straight-up poker face.

He goes on to describe what happens when a parachute malfunctions.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

“There’s a bunch of things that can go wrong with a parachute. I had one malfunction in my career,” Willink reflected. “What do you do when your parachute doesn’t open? You follow procedures. We train really hard to know what the procedures are.”

He shared his own story of cutting away his main chute and pulling his reserve — which is also demonstrated in the Navy SEALs clip in the video above.

Willink moved on to the amphibious operations of Act of Valor.

“Just because you’re on the SEAL Teams does not mean you’re a sniper. Sniper is a specialized school that guys go to. And there’s a bunch of different schools: you could be a communication expert, you could be a medic…” Willink illustrated.

Willink had a few problems.

“Let me pause it right here. It’s just kind of … not realistic at all. I guess they’re trying to make it look cool. It always surprises me a little bit because … it’s the best job in the world. You don’t really need to do anything to make it look cool. It is cool,” he affirmed.

From ghillie suits to breaching operations to catching a target before he hits the water, Willink has something to say — and it’s not always a critique. He has a lot of knowledge and experience, so it’s cool to hear him break down what’s going on in the scene and why the operators are doing what they do.


Check out the video above to see Willink’s thoughts on additional films like American Sniper, Zero Dark Thirty, Captain Phillips and Lone Survivor.
MIGHTY CULTURE

Here are the 13 funniest memes for the week of September 14th

In a move that almost seems suspiciously logical, Secretary of the Army, Mark Esper, has declared safety briefs no longer mandatory. That means no more long, drawn-out discussions led by the first sergeant about oddly specific incidents. No more sh*tbag “leaders” talking down to warfighters about crimes that they themselves committed. No more checking the box by reminding troops to not drink and drive, beat your spouse, or beat your kids in a monotone, apathetic voice that diminishes the gravity of those serious crimes.

Soldiers are about to get told that this weekend to “be safe” and then to fall out. Some units may try out this thing called, “assuming adults are responsible for their own actions” while others will be stuck in their old ways, discussing a few safety issues out of sheer habit.

For the love of all that is awesome in the Army – do not f*ck this up, troops. If even a single private gets a speeding ticket this weekend, the chain of command will put that incident on a pedestal in order to keep safety briefs. If a single douchebag gets arrested for a DUI and jokes that they weren’t told not to this week, that one asshat will Blue Falcon the entire United States Army.

So, enjoy some memes if it means you’re not out trying to appear on the blotter.


5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Shammers United)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme by Valhalla Wear)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via ASMDSS)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Military Memes)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

MIGHTY TRENDING

The coronavirus has spread to 3 US sailors aboard 3 different Navy warships

The coronavirus that causes the illness COVID-19 first appeared in central China but has since become a global pandemic, and it has infected three US sailors aboard three different Navy warships, the service said.


A Navy sailor assigned to the amphibious assault ship USS Boxer, at port in San Diego, California was the first sailor aboard a warship to be infected.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Another sailor assigned to the USS Ralph Johnson, a guided-missile destroyer at port in Everett, Washington, tested positive on Monday, with another one assigned to the Littoral Combat Ship USS Coronado, at port in San Diego, testing positive Tuesday.

The three sailors are in isolation at home, as are individuals identified as having had close contact with them. Military health professionals are investigating whether or not others were exposed, and the ships are undergoing extensive cleaning.

The coronavirus has spread to more than 6,500 people and killed over 100 in the US. The number of US military personnel who have tested positive is significantly lower, but the virus continues to spread.

For the Navy, protecting its warships are a serious concern.

Last year, the Whidbey Island-class dock landing ship USS Fort McHenry experienced an unusual viral outbreak. Mumps hit the ship hard, infecting 28 people despite efforts to quarantine the infected and disinfect the vessel.

That was a vaccine-preventable illness. There is no available vaccine for the coronavirus, which has infected over 200,000 people and killed more than 8,000 worldwide. Sailors live in close proximity aboard Navy ships, and communicable diseases are easily transmittable.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Navy ships are filled with personnel and are not exactly conducive to social distancing. The Boxer, for instance, can carry up to 1,200 sailors and 1,000 Marines.

Pacific Fleet is begging sailors to stay off ships if they feel unwell. “We don’t want sick sailors on our ships right now,” Cmdr. Ron Flanders, Naval Air Forces spokesman, told The San Diego Union-Tribune on Monday. “If sailors are feeling ill, they should notify their chain of command.”

While the service is taking this threat seriously, some questions have been raised about the Navy’s response to infections aboard warships.

Shortly after the revelation that a sailor aboard the Boxer had tested “presumptive positive” for the virus, military leaders gathered around 80 crew members into a small room for a half-hour meeting to discuss the importance of social distancing and other preventative practices, ProPublica reported Monday.

There have been other similar incidents.

Update: This piece has been updated to reflect the latest figures from the US Navy.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

The Marines are getting a new light armored vehicle

The Marines are trading in their old Light Armored Vehicle for a new model – and it’s about time. In an age of stealth tanks and lasers, the Marines are still driving around in the 1983 model. But you’d never know it. The Corps’ LAV-25 has seen action from Panama to Afghanistan and everywhere in between, and few would complain about her performance.

But times are changing, and even the Marines are going to change with them. Within the next decade, for sure.


5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

Staff Sgt. Heighnbaugh, a platoon sgt. with the 3rd Light Armored Reconnaissance Platoon (reinforced), Battalion Landing Team, 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, fires a M240G medium machinegun on a light armored vehicle at the Su Song Ri Range, South Korea.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Kamran Sadaghiani)

The modern Armored Reconnaissance Vehicle will likely show up “in the next decade,” according to the Marine Corps. It will be highly mobile, networked, transportable, protected and lethal while the new technology allows it to take on the roles normally used by more heavily armored vehicles.

“The ARV will be an advanced combat vehicle system, capable of fighting for information that balances competing capability demands to sense, shoot, move, communicate and remain transportable as part of the naval expeditionary force,” said John “Steve” Myers, program manager for MCSC’s LAV portfolio.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military

A LAV-25 patrolling the area near the Panama Canal during Operation Just Cause.

The Marine Corps didn’t list any specific roles or technologies they would look at integrating into the new modern Armored Reconnaissance Vehicle but the Office of Naval Research “has begun researching advanced technologies to inform requirements, technology readiness assessments, and competitive prototyping efforts for the next-generation ARV.”

“The Marine Corps is examining different threats,” said Kimberly Bowen, deputy program manager of Light Armored Vehicles. “The ARV helps the Corps maintain an overmatched peer-to-peer capability.”

The Corps wants the new vehicle to equip the Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalions inside Marine divisions with a solution for combined arms, all-weather, sustained reconnaissance, and security missions by the mid-2020s.

popular

Watch what happens when aircraft are almost hit by their own bombs

It happens so often, it is almost routine. An aircraft is trying to take out a ground target, and moves in to drop its bombs. The bombs then leave the plane, head down to the ground, and blow the target into smithereens. That’s how it’s supposed to work, and it does.


5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
A B-1B Lancer drops cluster munitions. This is how it is supposed to go down. (U.S. Air Force photo)

Unless it doesn’t. The fact is, even routine operations can be risky. Refueling in flight is one of those – and that has seen its share of close calls where things have gone wrong.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
A B-17 is struck by a bomb dropped from another B-17. (United States Army Air Force photo)

The action of dropping bombs on target has its dangers, too. One very iconic series of photos from World War II shows a United States Army Air Force B-17 get hit by a bomb dropped by another B-17, shearing off the stabilizer. None of that B-17’s crew got out.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
A cluster bomb hits the fuselage of the plane that just dropped it. (Youtube screenshot)

But those are not the only cases. When you are dropping millions of bombs, sometimes things go wrong. It’s particularly likely when you have a new plane or a new bomb. The Air Force had an entire office at Elgin Air Force Base known as SEEK EAGLE to certify ways to carry and drop various external stores.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
Don’t you hate it when the bomb you dropped hit your centerline tank? (Youtube screenshot)

The video below shows some of these close calls, where bombs and external fuel tanks don’t do what one would expect in the routine action of dropping the tanks or a bomb. Some of these look spectacular, like the clip featuring a F-111 Aardvark dropping what appears to be a fuel tank. Other scenes show the weapons hitting the planes as they head down, or missing by a matter of inches.

5 Avengers who are not cut out for the military
This mage shows a cluster bomb hitting the side of a plane. (Youtube screenshot)

Think of this video as yet another reminder that even in peacetime, the risks are very great for those who defend their country.