14 things milspouses actually want for Valentine’s Day
Valentine's Day has quickly become one of the most commercialized holidays. It doesn't help that we are inundated with red and pink chintzy gifts in stores as soon as the clock strikes 12:01 am on December 26th of each year. All that aside, there is something to be said for taking a day to recognize and celebrate your significant other.
When you add in the complicated military lifestyle to your love affair, how you express that love is also complicated. In fact, it's immediately elevated from chocolates and flowers (although nice!) to 'I need a gift that is actually going to help me out here.'
So what are the Valentine's Day gifts that can easily impress your military spouse? We've got 14 for you!
1. The ability to plan an actual vacation without hesitation
Can you imagine a life where you decide you want to take a vacation, and you just...book it? It seems far fetched, but it could actually happen! And even if you aren't close to transitioning out of the military, perhaps you can dream about it together over dinner.
2. Orders to the place they really want to be stationed
This may be at the top of every military spouse's list. There are many variables to living this lifestyle, but actually getting stationed at your dream duty station? That's THE Ultimate Valentine's Gift, for sure.[caption id="attachment_90337" align="alignnone" width="452"] Why yes, we will gladly accept orders to Hawaii. Secluded beach on the Hamakua Coast, Hawaii/Wikimedia Commons.[/caption]
3. For the family to come to visit you for once
When you do get the luxury of taking leave, many military families often feel torn between going to a bucket-list destination or going home to visit. We won't even get started on the associated guilt that happens when you do choose to travel instead of visiting family. But guess what can help alleviate some of that guilt? Yep, by having family visit you for once. Planes, trains, and automobiles work both ways!
4. Retire the whole 'dependa' thing
Can we just not? While I'm happy to see the recent movement to make the word something more positive, it is still cringeworthy. We've been at war for 18 years. No one has time for online bullying— or at least we shouldn't.
5. A smooth PCS move
Does it exist? Who knows! But, can you imagine being able to buy nice furniture with reckless abandon? Or a home that's actually ready when you need it to be. Other necessities like childcare, and schools, doctors, and dentists and— well, you get what we're saying. If it were easy for once.
6. A deployment where nothing breaks- no appliances, cars, etc
What if Cupid could call his friend Murphy Law and tell him to steer clear of your home during a deployment? We'd take that for Valentine's Day. Or any day, honestly.
7. A wellness day - spa, range, whatever your spouse actually likes
No matter if you're a spouse that stays home, works remotely, or outside of the home— it's all difficult. So we're always up for taking a 'mental health day' and just enjoying the things that relax you and make you happy. It could be a spa day or a day at the gun range. As long as it floats your boat, it's a wellness day.
8. A friend reunion - gather up all their friends in one space
If you've been in the military community for any length of time, you know there is always someone that you miss. Whether it's family, a friend from your last duty station, or your college roommate. Ever wonder what it would be like to have all the people you love in one room? Perhaps this isn't limited to military spouses. Still, we're willing to bet milspouses have a wide array of people around the world that they miss immensely.
9. Just some peace and quiet
For real. We'll take a few hours of quiet; however we can get it. Have a weekend at your favorite hotel? Cool. Have someone take the kids out for half a day while you sit on your couch and listen to nothingness? Completely get it.
10. Some help
Or all of it. Cooking. Cleaning. Planning. Adjusting. We'll take any help that you offer. Please, and thank you.
You know what would be really pleasant? A job. One where we're not discriminated against as soon as the employer takes note of our military affiliation. Milspouses are chronically underemployed and unemployed, simply because there's a possibility a military family will move. While that may be true, civilians move on and leave jobs, too. However, military spouses are also one of the most educated demographics. A great military spouse employee for three years can better position your organization than three years of just a "meh" employee who'll never leave.
12. Stop it with the stereotypes
We don't know a milspouse who could do without ever hearing, "but you knew what you signed up for," and other unoriginal— yet oft-repeated —stereotypes.
13. Our own battle buddy
Making friends as an adult is hard. Add military life to the equation, and it gets harder to create a friendship that goes beyond just the surface. Honestly, that's what we need, though. Someone who is there, boots on the ground, and can listen, step in to help. And of course, you get to be that person for them, as well.
14. Chocolates and flowers are okay, I guess
Last but not least— the chocolates and flowers aren't the worst Valentine's gifts, especially if they're your thing. There's a particular type of appreciation for someone to take a moment to express their love and gratitude for you. If chocolates and flowers can do that for you, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
What is your idea of the perfect Valentine's Day present? Here's to your Valentine's Day being exactly what you need it to be, whether that's flowers or a new housecleaner.