The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY CULTURE

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

I didn’t know this needed to be said in an official military statement, but apparently, troops have to be told not to use CBD oil that they found on the internet because it will almost certainly make them pop hot on a piss test for marijuana use.

In case you aren’t aware, CBD oil, or cannabidiol oil, is derived from marijuana plants and put into various products. Even the products that label themselves as having no THC are either flat-out lying (because the lack of FDA approval and zero government oversight won’t get the BBB’s attention) or still contain enough trace amounts to fail a urinalysis.

And look. I’m not trying to discredit the value of CBD oil. Whatever floats your boat. I got my DD-214 and give no f*cks for what you do with your life. I’m just saying: if you’re still in the military and use a product that says it can treat all of the same things as prescription weed, is made from weed, and, depending on the product, gives the effects of being high on weed… Don’t try to play dumb when the commander says they found weed in your pee.


Besides, the military is already under the control of a miracle cure-all drug monopoly. It’s called Motrin. Anyways, here are some memes.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments Memes)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via On The Minute Memes)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Thank You For My Service)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Disgruntled Decks)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Hooah My Ass Off)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Not CID)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via United States Veterans Network)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Private News Network)

Articles

These 17 hilarious reviews of MREs from troops in the field will bring back memories

If there’s one thing the DoD can count on soldiers to be bluntly honest about, it’s the food. In 2005, 400 soldiers from Fort Greely, Alaska, were asked to taste test a new menu of Meals, Ready to Eat for anything that might stand out to them.


There were a lot of standouts.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
Fort Greely is one of the coldest places in the U.S. military. This is how they warm up. Probably. (U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Daniel Love)

Fort Greely’s finest filled out the evaluation forms, which were then compiled and sent to the DoD office that manages the procurement of field rations. Grunts don’t pull punches. That’s kinda the whole point of their job.

The main result was that U.S. troops got new MREs. Luckily for us, the Smoking Gun got their hands on the actual reviews and some of the comments are gold.

1. Shakespeare:

“Cheese spread with bread is never a liked mix. Anger is usually the result.”

2. The prophet:

“I noticed this meal # was 666…I will probably die of a massive heart attack thank you for feeding me possessed food.”

3. The skeptic:

“This donut is just a brownie in a circle with crappy “frosting” what are you trying to pull?”

4. The poet:

“I believe it was the dinner meal that caused this (Chicken and Dumplings), but it sounded like a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.”

5. The biographer:

“I have disliked cabbage since childhood.”

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

6. The drama queen:

“Oh my god what were you thinking… don’t give cabbage to a soldier ever again even POWs deserve better.”

7. The fortune teller:

“The entree will only be eaten if you haven’t eaten all day.”

8. The PR Rep:

“Maybe change the name ‘Chicken Loaf,’ [it] scares me.”

9. PFC Gung Ho:

“Put Ranch Dressing on everything! Airborne!”

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

10. The guy who’s wrong about everything:

“F*ck hot sauce [put] gummy bears inside.”

11. Sgt. WTF:

“Tabasco is good in your coffee.”

12. The Obvious Sapper:

“Change the Ranger bar name to ‘Sapper Bar'”

13. The Stream of Consciousness:

“5 Veg ravioli ‘friggin’ sucks. Spiced apple ‘friggin’ rock. Apple cinn. Pound cake taste like cheap perfume. (Friggin). Is chocoletto a foreign Name crap? Pizza anything friggin rocks! Gum is good.”

14. Staff Sgt. TMI:

“This new menu has me using the latrine 3x a day.”

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
The Post-MRE Experience we all know.

15. Sgt. Maj. No Chance:

“Please bring back cigarettes.”

16. Pvt. Ungrateful:

“Jerky is very, very good. How many years did it take to figure that out?”

17. Sgt. Missing the Point:

“The name should be fiesta breakfast party. That would be funny.”

“The vanilla pudding is so good I ripped it open, Licked the inside and rolled around on top of it like a dog. I prefer not to eat anything called loaf but in this case I made an exception… thank god I DID.”

MIGHTY CULTURE

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of October 25th

So the Expert Soldier Badge is now a thing. And I mean, I get the concept behind it. Army infantrymen and medics go through a rigorous course to prove their merit to be bestowed a shiny badge – their own Expert Infantry/Medic Badge. And it’s not a bad thing for soldiers of every other MOS to have something to strive for. But here’s the thing. Infantrymen and medics don’t give a flying f*ck about the EIB/EMB if they have their Combat Infantry/Medic Badge.

It all goes back to how you earn them. My old infantry first sergeant once told me that “one is because you know your sh*t. The other is because you been through the sh*t.” You can only wear one of them, so everyone picks the one that shows they gave Uncle Sam what their contract says they would.

And I even get that every MOS outside the 11 and 68 series are less likely to earn their Combat Action Badge. But like. The CAB is the one thing you point to to tell everyone you’re not some POG-ass commo guy. But like… One badge says you’re not a POG, and the other says that you’ve read plenty of books on how to be less of a POG… I’m just saying…


Whatever. We all know the ESB was invented just because of some staff officers that got pissy because the Pathfinder Badge isn’t around anymore for them to look slightly more impressive than the other butter bars. Anyways, here are some memes.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Call for Fire)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Not CID)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via The Army’s Fckups)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Lost in the Sauce)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via ASMDSS)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(Meme via Air Force Nation Humor)

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

The hidden truth: military families face financial insecurity

Military life brings enough stress. How you’re going to put food on the table shouldn’t be one of them.


Today’s military is a much more diverse population and also more likely to be married, unlike those who served a generation or two ago. According to a 2018 White House report, 74% of military families have children, and 42% of those children are between the ages of 0 and 5 years old.
The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

According to a 2018 study completed by the Military Family Advisory Network, 13% of military families experience food insecurity. That same study reported that as many as 24% of military families skip meals or buy cheaper, less healthy meals to make do.

Currently, many junior military families do not qualify for food assistance even though they are in desperate need of it.

The United States Department of Agriculture did a survey that same year, which found that only 11.1% of American homes were experiencing food insecurity. This could indicate that junior military families may be experiencing higher rates of food insecurity than the average American family.

Lack of Cost of Living Allowances (COLA) in notoriously high-cost areas is another issue affecting the financial wellness of military families. The Department of Defense released its rates for 2020, with a decrease of id=”listicle-2645192734″.9 million dollars. With such high rates of financial insecurity affecting military families, it is unknown why the DOD made the decision to implement a reduction.

Reports have shown different numbers; some say one in four military families are utilizing food banks; others showcase that million in SNAP benefits aren’t really accounted for.

While the image of our uniformed service members in line at a food bank or using SNAP benefits is an uncomfortable one, it is a reality for many military families.

In 2017, a bill was introduced in the House of Representatives to address their food assistance needs, but it was never brought to a vote. A second bill named the Military Family Basic Needs Allowance, made it through the House but was never called for a vote in the Senate.

How could the needs of those who would sacrifice their lives for this country be ignored?

The National Military Family Association is a non-profit organization that has championed bills like the Military Family Basic Needs Allowance, which they fought to have included in the FY2020 National Defense Authorization Act. Despite it not being included, their website indicates that they will continue advocating for military families and ensuring they receive what they need to serve this country without fear of food insecurity.

The Department of Defense objected to the second bill, with part of their reasoning being that the service member receives a basic allowance for subsistence (BAS). However, it can be argued that BAS is only intended for the service member. It does not account for the military spouse and children that service member most likely has. This leaves families couponing, utilizing food banks, and seeking financial support services through faith-based agencies.

Blue Star Families conducted a survey in 2018, and 70% of military families reported that having two incomes as being something vital for well-being. With well-documented rates of high unemployment for military spouses and a lack of quality childcare, it demonstrates why two-thirds of military families report stress due to their current financial situations. This was the first time the Blue Star Family annual survey had financial insecurity as a top stressor.

There are many pieces of recent legislation that have been signed and are aimed at increasing gainful employment opportunities for military spouses, leading to less financial stress on the military family. While this appears to be a step in the right direction for increasing rates of employment among military spouses, it doesn’t address the many other barriers.

The United States is approaching twenty years at war, its longest in recorded history. Without a current end in sight, operational tempo remains high, and with that comes additional stressors placed on our military. With higher than average rates of suicide and a 65% increase of mental health issues affecting our military – they are paying the high price for this war.

Our servicemen and women willingly carry unavoidable stressors because of their commitment to serve this country. It’s time that we take being able to feed their families off their shoulders.

MIGHTY TRENDING

‘Criminal’ — The Navy really effed up its new $13 billion supercarrier

The chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee sharply criticized the Navy’s failures with the new USS Gerald R. Ford aircraft carrier, saying that these missteps “ought to be criminal.”

During the confirmation hearing for Vice Adm. Michael Gilday, who is set to become the next chief of naval operations, Sen. Jim Inhofe, a Republican from Oklahoma, unleashed a string of criticisms about the first ship of the Navy’s Ford-class carriers.

“The ship was accepted by the Navy incomplete, nearly two years late, two and a half billion dollars over budget, and nine of eleven weapons still don’t work with costs continuing to grow,” the senator said.


The Navy still conducts burials at sea

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The Navy still conducts burials at sea

“The Ford was awarded to a sole-source contractor,” which was asked to incorporate immature technologies “that had next to no testing, had never been integrated on a ship — a new radar, catapult, arresting gear, and the weapons elevators,” he continued, adding that the Navy entered into this contract “without understanding the technical risk, the cost, or the schedules.”

Read more: The Navy’s new supercarriers can’t deploy with new stealth fighters

“This ought to be criminal,” he said, further criticizing what he called the Navy’s “arrogance.”

The cost of the USS Gerald R. Ford, according to the latest report to Congress, has ballooned to just over billion, well over budget, and when the ship completes post-sea trial maintenance and is returned to the fleet in October — it was initially supposed to return in July but was delayed — it still won’t be working properly.

Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer bet his job on a promise to President Trump that the advanced weapons elevators would be ready to go by the end of the current maintenance period, but the Navy has already said that is not going to happen.

Only a handful of the advanced weapons elevators, a critical internal system required to move weapons to the flight deck, increase aircraft sortie rates and increase the overall lethality of the ship will be operational when the USS Gerald R. Ford returns to the fleet this fall.

The Navy has had to call in outside experts to try to find a solution to this particular problem.

See What Life Is Like On A US Navy Carrier | Military Insider

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See What Life Is Like On A US Navy Carrier

Gilday, who was asked to comment seeing that this issue “is going to be dumped in your lap,” as the senator explained, assured Inhofe that if he is confirmed as the Navy’s next top admiral, he will push the service to ensure that taxpayer dollars are not wasted.

“I share your concern,” he told the senator, explaining that the current status is unacceptable. “We need all 11 elevators working in order to give us the kind of redundancy and combat readiness that the American taxpayer has invested in this ship.”

“We’ve had 23 new technologies introduced on that ship,” he added. “Of those, four were immature when we commissioned Ford in 2017. We have seen progress in the launching system, the arresting gear and also with the dual-band radar. The reliability of those systems is trending in the right direction and actually where we want to be based on the last at-sea testing.”

Gilday characterized the elevators as the last remaining “hurdle” to getting the Ford out to sea.

He assured lawmakers that the Navy will take the lessons of the Ford and apply them to not only all future Ford-class carriers, but also the Columbia-class ballistic missile submarines.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY SPORTS

Marines are being surveyed on their favorite performance snacks

Call it fourthmeal.

Since early 2018, the Marine Corps has been issuing Marine recruits and officer candidates in entry-level training a “performance nutrition pack” of high-energy snacks to get them through the 10-hour stretch between dinner and breakfast. Now, nutrition specialists want to know which items in the packs these prospective Marines are most likely to eat.

Surveys were distributed this month at Officer Candidates School in Quantico, Virginia to gather feedback on the items in the performance nutrition packs that candidates were most likely to consume, said Sharlene Holladay, the Marine Corps’ Warfighter and Performance Dietitian.


The packs are assembled with purpose; they’re composed of off-the-shelf non-perishable food items that can include fruit-and-nut trail mixes, cereal, peanut butter and jelly packets, shelf-stable milk and more. A typical pack totals 500-600 calories in a ratio of 50-60% carbohydrates, 30% fat and 12-13% protein, Holladay said.

The intent is to give trainees a caloric boost before they head out to rigorous morning PT before breakfast; but that only works if they’re eating what’s provided.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Rct. Thomas Minnick Jr., Platoon 1014, Bravo Company, 1st Recruit Training Battalion, lifts a 30-pound ammunition can during his combat fitness test Feb. 11, 2014, at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island, S.C.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Octavia Davis)

“If you’re not consuming it, it becomes really nutrient-dense trash,” Holladay said.

The survey uses a Likert scale with ratings from one to five, inviting officer candidates to indicate what they are most likely to eat and most likely to discard. Feedback will be collected through the end of October, giving officials a 95% confidence rate in the results.

From there, the feedback will be used to design future nutrition packs. Holladay noted that tastes and preferences change over time with new generations of recruits, and the survey allows officials to stay current on popular items.

The rollout of performance nutrition packs at entry-level training, following a pilot program in fiscal 2016, mirrors efforts by other services to make sure trainees aren’t limited by chow hall meal times when it comes to fueling up.

The Marine Corps dispenses roughly 1,500 of the packs each month at OCS and the two recruit depots in Parris Island, South Carolina and San Diego, Holladay said.

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

Articles

Here are the meanings behind 19 classic sailor tattoos

These days, tattoos are so commonplace in the U.S. military that every branch has its own policy as part of its uniform regulations, but a few years ago that wasn’t the case. The U.S. Navy, however, has a long tradition of tattoos.


Here’s the meaning behind a few of the classics:

1. Fully-Rigged Ships

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

A tattoo of a fully-rigged ship from the age of sail means the sailor had been around Cape Horn, the rough, stormy waters around the southern tip of South America. A fully-rigged ship is one with three or more masts, square sails fully deployed.

2. Nautical Star

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

The star is a symbol of a sailor always to be able to find his way home. The nautical star is a five-pointed star in dark and light shades counterchanged to resemble a compass rose.

3. Shellback Turtle

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Sailors can wear the Shellback Turtle when they get initiated into King Neptune’s Court after crossing the equator. If you’re unsure what exactly this means, We Are The Mighty has an explainer for you:

RELATED: 8 Weird ‘off-the-books’ traditions in the US military

4. Crossed Cannons

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

The crossed cannons mean a veteran has seen military service as a sailor.

5. Swallows

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Sailors earn a new swallow tattoo for every 5,000 nautical miles traveled, which is about 5,754 regular miles, roughly the distance between New York City and Tel Aviv. The circumference of the earth is 21,639 nautical miles, just about 4.16 sparrows.

6. Anchor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

A single anchor means the sailor crossed the Atlantic or has been a member of the merchant marine, a fleet of civilian ships that carries military cargo. In wartime, this fleet is mobilized to carry war materiel, including troops and supplies.

During World War II, the Merchant Marine took a beating with high casualties, entering the European war long before the United States itself. Since the U.S. was delivering war supplies to Britain through Lend-Lease, Nazi u-boats targeted U.S. shipping bound for the UK. The Merchant Marine casualty rate was 3.9 percent, whereas the Marine Corps’, the next highest, was only 2.94 percent.

7. Rope on the Wrist

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

A knot of rope on a sailors wrist identifies him as a deckhand, someone who maintains the hull, decks, superstructure, mooring, and cargo handling. Deckhands are still common in ocean-going vessels, though they’re far less likely to be maintaining wooden ships.

8. Hula Girl

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Hula girls signify the sailor has been to Hawaii.

9. Crossed Anchors

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Sailors wearing the crossed anchors on the webbing between their thumb and index finger are identifying themselves as boatswain’s mates, the guys who maintain the deck and take care of smaller boat operations and damage control parties.

10. HOLD and FAST

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

These words are a charm spelled out on the four front-facing fingers on each hand. Sailors hope it brings them good luck while gripping the rigging. Holding fast means the sailor isn’t going to let the line go, no matter what. Sailors were a superstitious bunch and life on a sailing ship was tough (to say the least). Anything that gave them the edge in saving their own lives was worth doing.

11. Pig and Rooster

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

The foot tattoos of pigs and roosters were worn by sailors in WWII in the hopes it would keep the sailor from drowning. The Navy shipped these animals in crates at the time. When ships went down, the crates floated, and the animals inside would sometimes be the only survivors

12. Compass Rose

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Another good luck charm that allows a sailor to find his way home.

13. Crosses

Worn on the soles of a sailor’s feet, these are thought to ward off sharks

14. Dagger through a Rose

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
Sailors aboard the USS New Jersey (National Archives)

This tattoo means the sailor is loyal and willing to fight anything, even something as sweet and beautiful as a rose

15. Dragon

Wearing a dragon means the sailor has served in China.

16. Golden Dragon

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

When a sailor crossed the International Date Line, he earns the right to wear the Golden Dragon tattoo. The International Date Line is the imaginary line of longitude that separates two calendar dates. When someone sails from East to West, they set their clock back one hour for every 15 degrees of longitude they pass. When they pass the date line, they’ve gained a full 24 hours.

17. Harpoon

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Sailors tattooed with harpoons were serving or had served in a whaling or fishing fleet.

18. King Neptune

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Another badge of honor earned for crossing the Equator.

19. Palm Tree

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

The palm tree has two meanings, depending on your navy. Sailors in the Royal Navy during World War II could wear it after sailing on Mediterranean cruises. It can also be worn by U.S. sailors who served in Hawaii.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Here are the best movies for the 4th of July

Fire up the BBQ, get your multi-pack of fireworks ready to light and put some beers on ice because the 4th of July is right around the corner. The 4th is an awesome holiday. No one fights over who you should thank or appreciate (clearly, the Founding Fathers…and Lin Manuel Miranda for teaching a large chunk of Americans who the founding fathers were) and the biggest disagreement is whether it should be called “Independence Day” or “4th of July.” Let’s be honest: Either one is fine and everyone wins.

In addition to the aforementioned beers and bottle rockets, the 4th of July is a fantastic time to watch some super-charged ‘Merica!” movies in appreciation for the independence we all enjoy today. But who wants to watch Yankee Doodle Dandy or 1776? Patriotic they may be, but they’re also kind of a yawn fest. So while they may be unconventional, here are the four (see what we did there?) movies you should be watching over the holiday:


The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Sometimes we need guys in a dysfunctional buddy-cop partnership to protect our FREEDOM! (Fox)

Independence Day

Well that is sort of a given, because…well…it’s named for the holiday. But great naming conventions aside, this movie has Bill Pullman being a non-nerd for once AND Will Smith beating up an alien. If you don’t shed even a tiny little tear when President Pullman makes his “this is our Independence Day!” speech before hopping in a fighter jet and trying to blow up some aliens…you are made of stone. Special bonus in the movie is the brilliant Jeff Goldblum as a perfect comic partner to Will Smith, especially when they’re trying to do something as serious as set off a nuclear bomb on an alien mothership while simultaneously piloting a spaceship neither has ever flown before. It’s good stuff, man.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
Sometimes one man is all that stands between oppression and FREEDOM! (Fox)

Die Hard

Every holiday is a reason to watch “Die Hard.” That is all. It’s a testament to the brilliant and plucky little guy (or girl) who, with their American spirit and street smarts, take down the foreign villain who is stealing from them, oppressing them and threatening their freedom (*cough* revolutionary war undertones *cough*). See? I just made “Die Hard” into a 4th of July movie. You’re welcome.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

True FREEDOM requires that its heroes to pay attention in classes (“Top Gun”/Paramount Pictures)

Top Gun

Nothing says “celebrate American freedom” like shirtless aviators playing volleyball in the sand….oh and super cool jets, and call signs like “Iceman” and “Maverick” all fueled by a guitar-heavy Kenny Loggins soundtrack. One of the most quotable of all military movies, this one stands the test of time and revs your inner patriot as you try and figure out why all the aviators are wearing polo shirts under their flight suits. Or if cocky flybys really do earn you the honor of flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog sh*t out of Hong Kong. Goose dies, Mav reengages and the world is ultimately right again after our heroes chase off those pesky MiG-28s.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

What could be more patriotic than some of that old Razzle Dazzle? (Paramount Pictures)

Stripes

I cannot do justice to this amazing piece of American cinematic perfection so I won’t really try. I’ll just point out that it might be the greatest celebration of American ingenuity and good old-fashioned Army fun. When I retire, I’m having an EM-50 custom made so I can travel the country like a boss. The humor is timeless. Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and John Candy are a trifecta of laughs and the graduation scene alone is worth watching on an endless loop. Who among those who have served hasn’t wanted to blurt out “razzle, dazzle!” during formation? I don’t know about you, but this 4th of July will include a viewing of “Stripes” and a HulkaBurger on the grill.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

We can’t let a theoretical shark attack ruin our FREEDOM! (Universal Pictures)

BONUS MOVIE PICK: Jaws

Yes, “Jaws.” The movie is a tribute to summer, picnics, and the commercialization of the 4th of July…wait, what? Seriously, the whole movie centers on the Mayor’s reluctance to close the beach (despite body parts washing ashore and clear evidence there is a shark with a big appetite nearby) because 4th of July is a huge business weekend. Enter the hero and some friends who take matters into their own hands and save the day by doing the right thing. Kinda patriotic, don’t you think?

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

3 things Veterans should know about VA’s new electronic health record

VA is implementing its new electronic health record (EHR) system on Oct. 24 at initial sites in the Pacific Northwest. The implementation improves how clinicians store and manage patient information, including visits, test results, prescriptions and more. This will also mean some changes to how Veterans access their own health data online if their VA facility has changed to the new EHR.

Veterans who receive care at Mann-Grandstaff VA Medical Center (VAMC) in Spokane, Washington, and its community-based outpatient clinics in Coeur d’Alene and Sandpoint, Idaho; Libby, Montana; and Wenatchee, Washington, will be the first in the nation to use VA’s new electronic health record and patient portal, My VA Health. As a complementary tool to VA’s existing My HealtheVet patient portal, My VA Health will allow Veterans to manage their appointments, prescription refills, medical records and communication with health care providers online.


Since full implementation of VA’s new EHR is expected to occur over a 10-year period ending in 2028, most Veterans will not see immediate changes to how they view their medical records online. VA will continue to support its current EHR systems, including My HealtheVet, throughout the transition period to ensure there is no interruption to the accessibility and delivery of care. Veterans can expect to learn more as their local facilities prepare to migrate to the new EHR.

In the meantime, here are three key things Veterans should know about VA’s Electronic Health Record Modernization (EHRM) program and My VA Health.

What is VA’s Electronic Health Record Modernization program, and how does it impact Veterans?

EHRM is an effort to unite VA, the Department of Defense (DOD), the U.S. Coast Guard and community care providers on a single interoperable health information platform. This modernized system will allow VA to continue providing a world-class health care experience for Veterans across all VA facilities.

The new system will replace the department’s current electronic health record, known as the Veterans Health Information Systems and Technology Architecture (VistA), with a commercial, off-the-shelf solution developed by Cerner Corp.

The new EHR will create a paperless transition from receiving care as a service member through DOD to receiving care as a Veteran through VA. It will also support providers’ clinical decision-making by increasing their ability to make connections between a Veteran’s time on active duty and potential health issues later in life.

When will Veterans start using My VA Health?

Veterans will begin using the new My VA Health capabilities, accessible via VA.gov or My HealtheVet, when their local VA medical center or clinic transitions to the new EHR. Until then, Veterans will use only the existing My HealtheVet portal, which is also accessible via VA.gov. Mann-Grandstaff VAMC and its clinics are the first facilities introducing My VA Health to their patients.

Once My VA Health launches at a site, Veterans will be able use their current credentials to sign in to either My VA Health or My HealtheVet. This will ensure Veterans who have received care at more than one VA site have access to all of their records. For example, Veterans who receive care at Mann-Grandstaff VAMC and its four clinics will use My VA Health to manage their care from those sites and My HealtheVet to manage their health care from other VA and community sites. Historical records, including prior secure messages, will remain available on My HealtheVet.

Meanwhile, VA is working to make VA.gov the single place where Veterans can go for their health needs, so navigation between the two portals is not necessary. VA will provide resources to walk Veterans through these changes as EHRM deployment reaches their facilities.

How will Veterans at Mann-Grandstaff and its associated clinics access the patient portal?

Veterans will sign in as they do today, either through My HealtheVet or VA.gov, using any of the following accounts:

  • Premium DS Logon account
  • Premium My HealtheVet account
  • Verifiedme account

Once logged in, Veterans will be directed to My VA Health regarding care received at Mann-Grandstaff and its clinics and to My HealtheVet regarding care received at other VA locations. Veterans with basic or advanced My HealtheVet accounts can upgrade to a premium account using this guide.

Additionally, Veterans who receive care at Mann-Grandstaff VAMC and its associated clinics can visit this page for more information on My VA Health ahead of its introduction Oct. 24.

This article originally appeared on VAntage Point. Follow @DeptVetAffairs on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Historic direct talks with North Korea have already started

President Donald Trump said on April 17, 2018, that the US had already started speaking with North Korea ahead of a proposed meeting between Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in 2018.

“We’ve also started talking to North Korea directly,” Trump said, according to Jennifer Jacobs, Bloomberg’s White House reporter. “We have had direct talks at very high levels, extremely high levels with North Korea.”


Trump was speaking to reporters alongside Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe at the president’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

According to Jacobs, Trump said talks with Kim would take place “probably in early June [2018]” or “a little before that,” or not at all. The president added that five locations were under consideration for a meeting, but he did not specify where.

The Washington Post reporter David Nakamura tweeted that he asked Trump whether any of the locations were in the US and that the president “shook his head and clearly mouthed the word, ‘No.'”

The president said he would bring up in a meeting with Kim the cases of abductees held by North Korea.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
u200bKim Jongu00a0UNu200b

A White House official said early April 17, 2018, that three Americans being held in North Korea also factored “very much into future interactions” between the US and North Korea.

Trump also said North Korea and South Korea “have my blessing” to discuss officially ending the Korean War, which ended with an armistice in 1953 but is technically ongoing because there is no peace treaty.

Kim and South Korean President Moon Jae-in are set to meet for the first time on April 27, 2018. The South Korean newspaper Munhwa Ilbo cited an unnamed intelligence source as saying the summit could lead to a peace announcement.

CNN reported early April 2018, that “secret, direct talks” were underway between Washington and Pyongyang in preparation for a summit between Trump and Kim, with several administration officials saying a team at the CIA was working through intelligence back-channels.

US and North Korean intelligence officials had spoken several times and met in a third country to work on settling a location for a meeting, according to CNN.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Portraits of veterans painted by former president on display

Visitors to The Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., can see a collection of veteran portraits on display through Nov. 15, 2019.

The collection is Portraits of Courage: A Commander in Chief’s Tribute to America’s Warriors, painted by another veteran, President George W. Bush.

The collection highlights 98 men and women out of the approximately five million post-9/11 veterans. The exhibit showcases 66 full-color oil portraits and a four-panel mural painted by the former president, himself an Air Force veteran.


Upon entering the display, visitors see a two-minute video by the 43rd president. Bush talks about the positive assets of veterans, why he continues to serve veterans, the courage involved in talking about post-traumatic stress and his painting history.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

President Bush painting.

(Photo courtesy of the Bush Center)

Alongside the video is a quote from the president on why he painted these veterans.

“I painted these men and women as a way to honor their service to the country and to show my respect for their sacrifice and courage.”

Nearly all the warriors featured participated in one of the two wounded warrior sporting events hosted by the George W. Bush Presidential Center. The W100K is a 100-kilometer mountain bike ride on the president’s ranch near Crawford, Texas. The Warrior Open is a competitive golf tournament in Dallas.

The portraits are on loan from the Ambassador and Mrs. George L. Argyros Collection of Presidential Art at the George W. Bush Presidential Center, a non-profit organization whose Military Service Initiative is focused on helping post-9/11 veterans and their families.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Portraits of Courage at The Kennedy Center.

For more information

The paintings are on display until Nov. 15, 2019, at The Kennedy Center. More information is at https://www.kennedy-center.org/calendar/event/ZURRA. The exhibit then moves to the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art in Bentonville, Arkansas, Dec. 21 through Jan. 20, 2020.

A Portraits of Courage app is also available at the Apple store and Google Play.

More information about the Military Service Initiative is available at https://www.bushcenter.org/explore-our-work/issues/military-service-initiative.html.

This article originally appeared on VAntage Point. Follow @DeptVetAffairs on Twitter.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Strange days in the Green Berets: of pipes and dogs

The 1st Special Forces Group was a great place to be when they activated in 1984 in Ft. Lewis, Washington state. I made a mad dash to get out of Ft. Bragg and into the First. We were the only Green Beret unit on the post so it was like being “away from the flag pole” as we used to say, or away from the stressful prying eyes of the higher headquarters. That coupled with the novelty of new digs in a new hood just made it a pleasant place to be.

We weren’t even on the main post: We were in a little gouge of a satellite cantonment area across the freeway from the main post. It was very low-visibility and even, shall I say it, cozy there in our outskirt haven.


There the boys were being boys in their own Green Beret fashion and pipes suddenly became vogue on the premises. It seemed that you just might not be cool… unless you were smoking a pipe.

It wasn’t a “stoner-esque” sort of pipe smoking; it was like your grandpa sort of pipe smoking — ol’ geezer pipes that should have been the last thing that made you look cool, and yet somehow they did. It was kinda nice taking a break outside the team room in the middle of the day to go outside and… do a bowl. Except we weren’t doing bowls, we were… smoking pipes. Just, smoking pipes. Then a few taps of the pipe against the concrete steps and back to work.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

(left) My own pipe from back in my Green Berets days as it sits on my desk today. One of my favorite pipes carried by a teammate was this Zeus head pipe. (SOFREP/George E. Hand IV)

Conversations took on a vastly different character and demeanor when were were smoking pipes. We could be talking quantum physics while descending the stairs to the porch, but once those pipes were torched:

“Big of a scorcher out today, eh?”

“Oh, yaaah…”

“Looks to be a bit of weather coming in from the nor-east tho…”

“Yeeeeah, seems…”

“Might be in for a coolin’ off — that’d be nice for a spell…”

“Oh, yaaah…”

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

The way we felt we looked smoking our pipes notwithstanding, this is rather more in keeping with the way people actually saw us.

Three of my team brothers and I had made a rare excursion to the main post for some harassment and all-around hateful time. Our Company Commander admonished us to “just stay the hell away from that place unless absolutely necessary,” knowing Green Berets over there would always draw attention and scrutiny.

We grabbed lunch at main Post Exchange (PX) and sat outside on a patio.

After lunch we instinctively pulled out the burners for some pleasing pipe puffing and discussion about the weather. It didn’t take long for a grumpy Master Sergeant to interrupt us: “Excuse me… you men are out of uniform,” meaning smoking pipes. That was most certainly not the case but he was grumpy and decided to call our bluff knowing that Green Berets were not heavy into drill and ceremony, pomp and circumstance. My Team Sergeant, a Master Sergeant himself replied:

“We’re not out of uniform, Sarge, we’re just smoking pipes!”

“And that’s out of uniform!” he huffed.

“Horse shit, Sarge… you know there’s nothing in AR670-5 that prohibits smoking a pipe while in uniform.”

Just knowing the title of the manual that governed the wear of the military uniform was enough of a counter-bluff and the grumpy Sergeant snorted off.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

AR (Army Regulation) 670-5 governs the configuration and wear of the military uniform.

Another shenanigan the seemed to catch on with the A-Teams was bringing dogs to work. All types of dogs. Huntin’ dogs, coon dawgs, guard dogs. Take a break, smoke your pipe, pet yer dawg — Basic Dude Stuff! That concept, the dogs, never had a chance of getting off the ground. It was like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs: just too much there to go wrong.

Command Sergeant Major (CSM) Douglas J. Turner was an affidavit-sworn baddass. West Point had voice recordings of him from Vietnam calling in an artillery barrage on his own position because he was being overrun by Viet Cong. His voice was as calm as if he were reading from the day’s weather report. I had been assigned to his Battalion before he left the 7th Special Forces Group in Ft. Bragg. We bought him a really nice pistol as a going-away gift when he left. And now we were both in the same unit again.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Herstal Belgium Fabrique Nationale’s (FN), Browning Hi-Power, 9 x 19mm

CSM Turner stepped squarely into a pile of dog crap outside our team room building one day as he headed up to our room. He walked just inside the door of our room and — SPLOOSH — stepped into a puddle of fresh dog p00. He cocked his head down to observe the puddle of crap that he had just stepped in. Raising his head he spied a dog curled up next to one of the men’s desks.

Slowly trending over he reached down to pet the dog, which suddenly snapped its jaw up and bit the CSM on the hand. Douglas J. Turner stood back up, looked at his bleeding hand, and glared at the dog. The room of men became a petrified forest. D. J. Turner sucked the bite wound on his hand as he stepped out the door.

“Wha… what will become of us now?” Pondered one of the men, and we were all sorely afraid.

The next morning we gathered for our usual morning Physical Training (PT) formation. Outside our building the same dog that bit the CSM the day prior was leashed off to the stair rail. The CSM came by and, pointing to an exercise apparatus at the edge of the formation field, directed a man to “Chain that dog to the pull-up bars!” The man did so.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd

Forming up and not really taking note of the dog fasted at the bars, we were brought to attention as CSM Turner received the morning report. He then addressed the entire battalion:

“YOU MEN HAVE BEEN BRINGING YOUR DOGS TO WORK LATELY. I HAVE BEEN SEEING DOG SHIT AROUND MY COMPOUND AND EVEN STEPPED IN SOME DOG SHIT. YESTERDAY ONE OF THEM EVEN BIT ME!”

“FROM NOW ON THE NEXT TIME I SEE ANOTHER DOG IN MY BATTALION AREA, IT WILL BE SHOT!”

A measured chuckle emanated from the formation. D. J. walked over and stood by the dog. Another chuckle arose. With that CSM Douglas J. Turner reached to his lumbar and pulled out the pistol we got him when he left 7th Special Forces Group. He snatched back the slide, pointed the gun at the dog’s head and fired. The dog froze momentarily in a sort of seizure, then flopped over dead.

The distraught dog’s owner cried out and broke formation sprinting toward the CSM. Several men grabbed and restrained the man, carrying him up to their team room where they placed a guard on him to prevent him from getting out. The CSM returned to his office where he sat and quietly waited for the Military Police to arrive and take him away; which they did. Some say that it was just CSM Turner’s way of telling the world that he had had enough and was ready to retire from it all.

That is the extent of what happened to him. He was retired from the U.S. Army.

Later that day we broke from the team room to head downstairs for a peace pipe ceremony:

“Shame about Ingram’s dog there.”

“Oh, yaaah…”

“Shouldn’t oughtta be bringin’ a bitin’ dog to work that’s not potty trained tho.”

“Seems…”

“Course, don’t make much sense a-shootin’ a dog over any of it neither.”

“Oh, naaah…”

“Yep, nuther scorcher out today.”

By Almighty God and with honor,
geo sends

This article originally appeared on SOFREP. Follow @sofrepofficial on Twitter.


popular

What superpower each branch of the Armed Forces would have

In every parking lot on every military installation is a bumper sticker that reads, “not all heroes wear capes!” It’s a great message and all, but it’s always fun to speculate what life would be like if each branch of the U.S. Armed Forces was a superhero. What super powers would they have?


So, in a completely tongue-in-cheek response to a nice and sweet bumper sticker, here’s what the superhero branches would be.

Army

Powers: Generic super strength, speed, and durability.

Weakness: Entirely bland.

The largest and most self-sustaining branch among the Armed Forces would also be the most run-of-the-mill superhero.

In comic books, nearly every protagonist who gets superpowers pretty much just checks off the standard hero boxes: super speed, super strength, super durability, etc. Now, this doesn’t make for a bad superhero, but it’s also not the most interesting. A perfect fit for the most average branch of the Armed Forces.

Related: 8 Marvel superheroes that served in the US Army

 

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
Just like our boy, Captain America. (Marvel)

Air Force

Powers: Flight.

Weakness: They are a gigantic douche about it.

Every branch has their own form of aviation, but the Air Force is almost entirely defined by their ability to fly.

Sure, there are superheroes that can fly and shoot lasers like the BRRRT A-10, but no one is really impressed by their abilities — except the Air Force.

Related: 6 superheroes who were also Air Force officers

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
I recommend Airmen pick up a few Captain Marvel comics before the movie comes out. A huge part of it will be about her time in the Air Force. (Comic by Marvel)

Navy

Powers: Control over the seas.

Weakness: Everyone thinks they just talk to fish.

The Navy is far more powerful than anyone gives them credit for. Too bad the rest of the Armed Forces mock them for the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun.

This is not unlike D.C. Comics’ Aquaman.

The average moviegoer probably thinks the peak of Aquaman’s power is having a conversation with a few fishy friends. Nobody ever mentions his super strength…

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
There are no Navy superheroes. There have been a few comics where Aquaman has worked with them, at least… (Warner Bros.)

Marine Corps

Powers: Shooting.

Weakness: Shooting is all he knows.

Every Marine proudly takes to their mean, drunk, fighting-machine stereotype. They are damn good at putting bullets and mortars in places they belong… but that’s about it.

Thankfully for the Marine Corps, there already is a hero that embraces the stereotype and proudly rocks his Eagle, Globe, and Anchor. That’s right: The Green Lantern.

Oh, yeah. And The Punisher.

Related: 7 superheroes who served in the Marine Corps

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
Admit it, Marines. A whole lot of you guys have a Punisher tattoo. (Marvel)

Coast Guard

Powers: Invisibility

Weakness: No one cares.

Coasties are a part of the Armed Forces. They’re not always attached to the Department of Defense, but they’re still brothers-in-arms. The Puddle Pirates are out there constantly fighting the good fight, but no one really gives a damn about them. If they are remembered, it’s by other vets mocking them for being essentially the Navy National Guard.

On the bright side, at least the Coast Guard has one superhero: Spectrum, whose superpowers vary greatly. One of which she, coincidentally, shares with the U.S. Coast Guard – not being noticed.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of November 22nd
To be fair, it’ll be a long while before she gets her own solo series. (Marvel)

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