The NBA is experiencing a ratings slump, but that all could change if the National Basketball Association just adopted some North Korean basketball rules. Negative points, bonuses for finesse, and a lower basket are just a few of the glorious people’s revolutionary basketball innovations that could make NBA games more fun and more watchable.
It’s not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with the league’s current rules, but the 2025 Finals ratings are down 24% compared to last year’s. The current ratings decline is likely due to the teams competing for the championship. Oklahoma City and Indianapolis are not among the country’s largest sports markets, despite the success their teams have achieved over the years. But the NFL doesn’t have a market problem, which could be a massive issue for the NBA.
In the NFL, the smallest fan bases to reach a Super Bowl are the Los Angeles Chargers, the Tennessee Titans, and the Indianapolis Colts. Their relatively small sizes did nothing to dampen the ratings of their championship appearances, which drew 83.4, 88.5, and 93.2 million viewers, respectively.
For the NBA, the fault is not in their stars; it’s in themselves. So if LeBron James truly wants Christmas Day to be the NBA’s day, maybe it’s time to start looking for some changes – and the league could begin by looking north of the 38th Parallel.
It’s a well-known fact that the ruling Kim Family loves basketball. Kim Jong Un met repeatedly with NBA legend Dennis Rodman during the first Trump Administration for some good, old-fashioned basketball diplomacy. Kim’s father, Kim Jong-il, reportedly loved basketball so much that he wrote a book called “We Must Put Efforts to Developing Basketball.” He even provided instructions on how to train and practice for the sport.
By 1999, the elder Kim ordered that every high school and military installation had to build a basketball court. They didn’t have any food, but they could play basketball. He also created the North Korean basketball rules, which aren’t as crazy as one might think.
North Korean Basketball Rules
- Slam Dunks are now worth three points.
- Field goals scored from beyond the imperialist three-point line that don’t touch the rim are worth four points.
- There is a four-point line.
- Missing a free throw or dunk costs the team a point.
- Points can be deducted for missed passes, missed catches, traveling, and three-second violations.
- Any field goal scored in the last three seconds of a game is worth eight points.
These revolutionary rule changes would serve to make the games not only more physical for the players, but the physicality would also give viewers whose teams aren’t playing a reason to tune in.
Imagine a close game where one team has to keep the opposing team from getting close enough to score, but runs the risk of a foul, sparking a free throw that could change the entire game. The courtside drama at a Knicks game alone would cause a celebrity riot. Just watch these street teams play an exhibition using North Korean basketball rules at a Brooklyn gym:
Although North Korean teams publicly played by these rules on at least two occasions, it looks like the regime abandoned them a long time ago. The North appears to have adopted the International Basketball Federation (FIBA) rules, but the sport remains one of the most popular in North Korea, despite its decadent American origins. There’s no doubt that Marshal Kim Jong Un is watching the NBA Finals, even if most of America isn’t.
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