Best Black Friday deals for every military branch

If you’re anything like me, the idea of lining up at 4:00 in the morning in the freezing cold, at a big box store that doesn’t open for three hours, just to score a sick Black Friday deal on a television sounds absolutely awful. Now, if it was for a hard-to-find bourbon, that’s a different story… but I digress.

This year, skip the lines and the waits and hit these amazing Black Friday deals from the comfort of your own couch. Grab a hot toddy and start your shopping. Here are our favorite Black Friday deals for each military branch (also, we are totally making sweeping assumptions, generalizations and stereotypes here. But let’s be honest, they’re stereotypes for a reason… said with all the love in our hearts).

Marines

You guessed it, Crayons are on sale! Lowest price in 30 days with a steep 42% discount, for all of our favorite crayon eaters. If you’re feeling really salty this Christmas, these Crayon MREs made by a veteran are the perfect stocking stuffer.

Two open yellow and green boxes of Crayola washable crayons, each containing 64 multicolored crayons. The boxes feature a blue crayon character wearing sunglasses and the text "64 Ultra-Clean Washable Crayons." The crayons are arranged in rows inside the boxes.

Navy

We know you joined the Navy to see the world. We also know there’s a high probability you’re going to spend the majority of your career in a 5×5 cube on a floating building. Luckily for you, these amazing seasick goggles are on sale! Grab ’em while they’re hot! 39% discount FOR THE WIN.

NEOISM Anti Motion Sickness Glasses designed to relieve carsickness, airsickness, and seasickness. The glasses are white with circular blue rings around the lenses and side panels. They are lightweight, portable, and suitable for adults or kids. The package includes a gray soft carrying bag with a black glasses icon. The glasses weigh 1.06 ounces and are made of foam. The product is available in size M with a black bag.

Air Force

We know how busy you are flying your desk! But when you’re not, we know how much the Air Force loves a golf course. You can improve and brag about your swing velocity with this precision doppler swing speed radar, at 20% off. You’re welcome.

Portable Doppler swing speed radar with a digital display showing "100" mph. The device measures swing speed from 40 to 250 mph, can measure in mph or km/h, and includes a tempo timer to improve swing consistency. It has a kickstand for easy visibility and measures swing speed both with and without a ball. The radar is powered by 3 AA batteries (not included) and is designed for golf or baseball swing speeds. The product is made in the United States.

Coast Guard

When I think of the Coast Guard, our favorite little puddle pirates, we can’t help but think they’re semi-civilians just kind of pretending to be in the Navy (ok, ok, we absolutely adore you guys and we know you’re badasses who love seizing drugs and killing parties and rescuing people). Anyway, get this awesome Pretender Game at 23% off!

The Pretender is a colorful, pocket-sized game box featuring illustrated faces of diverse characters on the front. The game is described as a hilarious social deduction game involving mini charades, subtle signals, guesswork, and bluffing, suitable for adults, teenagers, and families. It is designed for 3-6 players aged 12 and up, made of cardboard, and branded by Gamely. The box has a bright, multicolored background with bold black text.

Army

While we’re ordering board games, this is the perfect one for our Army buddies who can kill a terrorist or a vibe real quick with their “this is everything that could go wrong” attitude. For everyone’s favorite Debbie Downers, here’s the Worst-Case Scenario Card Game, at 50% off today. What could possibly go wrong, well, just ask the Army. Womp womp.

The Worst-Case Scenario Card Game box is bright yellow with bold black text. It features five orange diamond-shaped icons depicting various disaster scenarios, such as a sinking ship, a flood, a car accident, a virus, and a house on fire. The tagline "When disaster strikes, who thinks alike?" is printed in red below the icons. The box indicates the game is for 3-6 players, ages 10 to adult, and emphasizes "100% Humor / 0% Trivia" with family and adult approval. The game is based on the New York Times bestseller and is designed for family or party play.

Space Force

Did you think we could possibly forget you? And did you think there was absolutely any option where we didn’t find light sabers for you? These are a steal at almost 60% off.