10 memes that describe life as a military spouse - We Are The Mighty
Humor

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

Military spouses are just as resilient (and sometimes just as crazy) as their uniformed husbands and wives. They are the backbone of our military families, and while you’ll never hear (or read) me saying that the job of being a military spouse is the toughest job in the [insert branch here] (because I’ve both worn the uniform AND been up at 3:00 AM ironing HIS), you will hear (or read) me acknowledge that- without the support of our spouses- our service member’s jobs would be hella harder than they already are.


That’s why former President Ronald Reagan declared the Friday before Mother’s Day as Military Spouse Appreciation Day on May 23rd, 1984. Every year since, it is typical for the President of the United States to issue a similar declaration.

Here at We Are the Mighty, we decided to celebrate Military Spouse Appreciation Day the best way we knew how: by laughing at our life.

After-all, its like my crusty old Marine of a dad used to tell me “If you don’t laugh at yourself, Kate, I will. And I’m sure there’s others happy to join in.”

So in no particular order (because I can shine boots and clean a rifle, and you could cut yourself on the 45 degree angled crease of the nurse’s fold on my bed, but heck if I’m not the most disorganized wife on the block), here’s a bunch of memes that pretty much exactly describe life as a military spouse:

1. This one time, we got orders…

…And then we got different orders. And then, they came and packed the house up and took all of our sh*t and sent it to California, and THEN I said “hey remember that you just got promoted? Could that impact your orders?”

It could.

It did.

And the Marine Corps forgot to tell us.

 

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
There is a plan, and it’s a good one. Or two. Or three. Source

2. Wedding vows are horribly unrealistic…

…And comedienne Mollie Gross might’ve said it best when she relayed how her husband convinced her to marry him. “Babe, you can have as many babies as you want, ’cause it’s free!”

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

To have and to hold, in richer and in poorer, in deployments and in field ops and in career changes and in… source

3. Civilians TOTALLY understand…

I mean, obviously they get it. I have this friend, we’ll call her Not-Amy-From-College to protect her identity. Not-Amy-From-College used to tell me ALL. THE. TIME. how she totally understood what I was going through when my husband was in Sangin with 3/5 because one time, when they’d been married for about 7 months, her husband had to take the train up from D.C. to NYC and he didn’t even come back until the next day. The. Horror.

Yes, your husband going out of town for work for an entire day is EXACTLY like my husband deploying… could you hold this bag for a moment so I can knife hand you? K, thanks. source

4. What do you mean I’m only allowed to have an MLM job or run a daycare in my house?

*BIG DISCLAIMER: there isn’t anything wrong with running your own multi-level-marketing (MLM) business or running a daycare in your home.*

The military spouse community boasts a pretty healthy number of lawyers (check out MSJDN), behavioral and mental health professionals (check out MSBHC), entrepreneurs (check out the MilSpoProject), teachers, politicians, business consultants, authors, actors — basically if it’s a grown up job, military spouses either have it or have had it.

We have professional hopes and dreams just like every other adult who doesn’t live off of Daddy’s money (here’s looking at you, Not-Amy-From-College-Who’s-Identity-We’re-Quasi-Protecting).

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
The audacity! A grown adult actually having plans of his or her own for his or her own career… wha? source

 

5. Drama… drama everywhere…

I’m only partially joking with this one. We’ve lived in some excellent housing communities where, seriously, our neighbors were the bees knees. And then? We’ve lived in communities that made Degrassi look like a family TV show that came on between “Boy Meets World” and “Step-By-Step.”

I think most military spouses can appreciate this one if they’ve lived at multiple installations.

6. Finally found my daughter’s kindergarten graduation cap that accidentally got packed a month before graduation…

And it was only eight years after her kindergarten graduation.

Other things we thought were lost in a decade and a half of PCSing:

  • A Dell computer
  • An elephant tusk carved out of fish bone that looks suspiciously like an adult toy that caused my husband a rather embarrassing stop and search in a Japanese airport but that I am still laughing about 13 years later
  • A Japanese vase
  • My DD214 and military medical records
  • Wedding band (I’m still holding out hope that that one is in a box and really didn’t get vacuumed up like my daughter insisted)
  • A metal canister of Maxwell House coffee

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
You know those military spouses that get everything unpacked and put away within a week of moving into their new house. We hate them. source

7. No one cares what you think, Judy Judgy McJudgy-Pants

This one is so true it needs two memes to make sure the point is made. People are judgy and rude.

When people judge military members, they get labeled as unpatriotic and it’s done. When they judge military spouses, they get laughs, some cheers from a select few military members who lack integrity and good character, and maybe a few frowns from everyone else.

But military spouses are used to it. And that’s just a sh*tty deal all around.

To be honest, we’re just people who are married. Being military spouses doesn’t make us any more or any less likely to be a) a mess, b) unfaithful, c) fat, d) Wonder Woman or e) all of the above

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Everyone is a critic. source

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
There’s a pretty good chance one of these is totally accurate. source

 

8. From military spouses everywhere…Dear deployment: you suck…

Deployments make warriors out of princesses, men out of boys, and they separate the strong from the weak.

But even the strongest feel exceptionally weak sometimes, and we hate that.

This is, of course, when we put our big kid pants and our gangter rap on, and we handle it.

 

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Deployments are stupid, and yes we do hate them. But we’re proud of our service member for them. source

9. Operational Security pisses us off…

But it must be done.

That doesn’t mean we want to deal with the OPSEC police. You know the ones: Becky just posted “Missing my soldier today on his 21st birthday!” And Bernice, who’s husband is a fearsome E4, busts into the convo with “OPSEC ladies! You don’t want the enemy knowing when his birthday is if he gets captured!”

Hey Bernice, if he’s captured, he gives his name, rank, service number and date of birth. Go haze yourself.

But seriously, we do take OPSEC and PERSEC (personal security) seriously.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Don’t you dare accidentally have a number in your status during a deployment. The OPSEC police will be all over you. source

10. Someone must have a death wish

So… you decided to go to the commissary on pay day. That is either the bravest or stupidest thing you’ve ever done.

Jury is still out.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Commissary on payday? Newbie. source

Humor

5 reasons why Pennywise would make the best recruiter ever

If you’ve ever spoken to a recruiter, you know that they tend to say impressive things to get young men and women interested in joining their branch of service.


Many people call recruiters “used car salesmen,” but in all fairness, they’re just trying to make a living and fill their quotas. Experienced recruiters have unique ways of conveying information to make everything sound positive and exciting — it’s a freakin’ gift.

Related: 11 things your platoon medic would never say

But, we think fictional character “Pennywise the Dancing Clown” from Stephen King’s It could take the crown as the best recruiter if he wanted to. Here’s why:

5. He makes some insane recruiting videos

If he can use video to kill someone through a kids’ show, he can get you to enlist.

Enlist today! Enlist today! Enlist today! (Image via GIPHY)

4. Pennywise can pop up at virtually any location

Just when you think you’ve gotten away from him, the f*cker crawls out of the refrigerator!

Oh, he’s good. (Image via GIPHY)

3. You can find his picture in any history book he wants.

You’ll find him when you’re flipping through one of your American history textbooks. Talk about subliminal advertising.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
He’s been around for a while… (Image from New Line Cinema’s It)

2. He can lead you to his office with a simple red balloon

Recruiters bust their asses trying to get young teens into their office just to pitch the idea of joining their branch. Once they’ve gotten your attention, they have no problem of secretly leading you off to their office.

Plus, they might have candy.

Follow the pretty balloon and enlist. (Image via GIPHY)

Also Read: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

1. He makes amazing promises

Recruiters are notorious for making military life seem freakin’ awesome and leave out certain terms, like “working parties.” Pennywise makes traveling through nasty sewers seem like the cool thing to do.

Let’s face it, Pennywise did say he has popcorn — and we like popcorn!

 

(Movieclips Trailers | YouTube) 

This is all in good humor. We love our recruiters.

Articles

These 12 awesome photos were ruined by blank firing adapters

Military folks get some of the best chances at awesome profile pics. They wear camouflage without looking ridiculous, spend a lot of time with firearms, and are generally physically fit.


Unfortunately, these awesome photos are often ruined by one little detail: blank firing adapters that turn weapons into big noise-makers. Sure, they make training much safer and cheaper, but is that really worth it when BFAs ruined these 12 photos?

1. A Marine pulls guard with his super-scary, blank-firing weapon as two Georgian soldiers giggle at him.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Nathaniel Nichols)

2. A U.S. Army Ranger student, assigned to the Airborne and Ranger Training Brigade, realizes that his weapon couldn’t even kill a squirrel with this stupid BFA on it, July 8, 2016

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Austin Berner)

3. “Do I look like Rambo?” “No.”

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Garrett Johnson)

4. A soldier provides no security while on patrol because his weapon has been neutered with a BFA at Exercise Saber Guardian 16.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Anita VanderMolen)

5. Paratroopers blow open a door with real explosives and then attack their enemy with loud noises at the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, California.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(GIF: Fort Irwin Public Affairs Jason Miller)

6. Spc. Timothy Squires, an infantryman, scans his sector of fire and prepares to make “Pew, pew!” noises during a squad-level situational training exercise held in Kosovo, July 25, 2016. “Pew, pew!” noises are exactly as lethal as weapons with BFAs.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

7. Marine Corps infantry squad leaders try to look cool while rocking BFAs. They come close but just can’t get past the stigma of the unusable weapon.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Cpl. Aaron S. Patterson)

8. A U.S. Army Ranger student searches a simulated enemy prisoner of war. If the POW learns that the Ranger student’s weapon can only fire sound waves, he’ll likely resist and escape.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Austin Berner)

9. An Army squad leader shows his men how to get a decent Facebook profile photo with a BFA. The BFA turns an otherwise lethal weapon into a prop.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

10. A cadet lays down imaginary cover fire for his teammate during a grenade course. The teammate’s grenades could actually kill someone but this simulated cover fire is useless.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Brian Hamilton)

11. A U.S. airman, right, actually manages to look cooler than a soldier simply by having a functioning weapon. The airman also has a pretty sweet helmet.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: Fort Bliss Ismael Ortega)

12. A U.S. Army soldier rocks sunglasses, a machine gun, and a belt of ammo but still looks funny thanks to mismatched camo, laser tag gear, and a blank firing adapter.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Photo: U.S. Army Reserve Sgt. Quentin Johnson)

Humor

7 types of people you meet in a deployed ‘tent city’

You’ll never get a more true-to-life snapshot of the other branches than the one you get when you begin your deployment. Everyone from every branch (and occasionally every allied nation) is crammed in together in a transient barracks — also known as a “tent city.”

It doesn’t matter what type of unit you’re in, everyone gets put in the same tents and the results are hilarious. Here’s who you’ll meet in these temporary towns.


10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

If you’re at a level where someone might accuse you of Stolen Valor while you’re deployed in Afghanistan, you might be a hyper-POG.

(Meme via /r/Army)

The Hyper-POG

There’s no shame in claiming an MOS that doesn’t operate on the front lines. Your mission is just different and you’re out there doing your part, too. The playful rivalry between grunts and non-grunts is a good thing — a little banter back and forth between infantrymen and their radio operators is fun.

And then there’re the troops that give the rest of the POGs a bad name. These guys use rolling suitcases instead of duffel bags. They get upset that they’re made to drink Green Beans Coffee instead of enjoying Starbucks. They look they haven’t done PT since they left Basic. The list goes on…

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

Don’t expect much from the people who’ve turned their “however-long and a wake up” into just “a wake up.”

(Photo by Cpl. Darien J. Bjorndal)

The tired grunts

These transient barracks are used for both incoming personnel and for outbound troops who are more than ready to get the hell out of there.

These grunts just did their time, maybe got extended, and are this close to going home. They are completely out of f*cks to give. Honestly, it’s probably best not to mess with these guys. They’re likely contemplating mugging the Hyper-POGs who suffered through a “two-beer limit” at Manas Air Base.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

It’s usually the tired grunts that spread all the hilarious lies.

(U.S. Marine Corps)

The gullible boots

These guys aren’t just the lower enlisted who’ve spent about two days in the military. This category includes anyone who acts like a boot moments before their first deployment. And man, are they fun to mess with.

They’ll ask the dumbest questions. This is when people first hear about the dreaded combat drop and how terrifying camel spiders truly are. To all you gullible folks out there, remember to take these stories with a grain of salt.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

Or when Cav Scouts take their stetsons to Afghanistan and wonder why everyone is on their ass for bringing it.

(Photo by Sgt. Richard Sherba)

The “kinda-but-not-actually-a-regulation” standard bearer

The military is filled with regulations. No doubt about that. If one NCO catches a lower enlisted doing something outside of regs, like walking around with their uniform jacked up, they have every right to call them out.

That being said, every unit is different and plays by different rules when it comes to the little things. One unit may not give a damn if you walk to the showers in sandals while others might. It only becomes a problem when units collide and suddenly you’re getting grilled for doing something the way you always have.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

If you thought our POGs were kept to a lower standard…

(Photo by Staff Sgt. Sean K. Harp)

The foreign ally with no professional standard

America’s allies also bunk up with our troops in tent cities. The standard bearer is probably losing their sh*t over how things are done by foreign troops.

For example, I’ve witnessed a foreign ally misplace not one, not two, but three grenades and their assigned weapon in Afghanistan. This was addressed with a casual, “meh, it happens.” Meanwhile, every American troop there just looked on in amazement as EOD got involved.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

If you smell like a burn pit but have never even seen one… Take the hint.

(Photo by Cpl. Alfred V. Lopez)

The American with no hygeinic standard

Now, let’s not pretend American troops are without fault. This one goes out to every single one of the nasty motherf*ckers who thinks that showering is optional. I’d like to express this from the bottom of my heart — not just for me, but for everyone who has ever shared a tent with you: f*ck you.

If this guy doesn’t care enough to stay clean for the single week while in transit, then they’re probably not going to stay clean for the next 12 months they’ll spend with their unit.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

Their beards make us even more envious…

(Photo by Senior Airman Cierra Presentado)

The contractor who won at life

Want to know who everyone really envies on a deployment? The contractors that are out there doing nearly the same mission as most troops, only for a sh*t-ton more money and countless other benefits.

You can’t even be mad at the contractors. Most of them are vets who’ve transitioned from active duty to contractor life. More than likely, they’re also probably the happiest people out there. I mean, hell, every vet says they’d kill to go back and these guys are making bank doing it.

Humor

4 stereotypes platoon ‘Docs’ get stuck with

Corpsmen and medics have to be the jacks-of-all-trades when they’re taking care of business. Under the watchful eye of their senior medical officers, “docs” have to execute their insane responsibilities at an efficient rate.


They’re asked to perform some impressive, life-saving interventions that would make a third-year medical student cringe.

They also get blamed for a variety of things they have no control over if they’re the lower man or woman on the totem pole.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

It’s funny, considering all the good they’ve done throughout America’s history, that their fellow brothers-in-arms like to f*ck with them every so often by creating and perpetuating stereotypes.

Some of those stereotypes stick and get carried on forever!

Related: Why ‘Devil Doc’ is the unofficial name of elite Navy Corpsmen

So, check out four stereotypes platoon medics get freakin’ stuck with.

4. They joined just to look at other service members’ d*cks.

For the most part, that statement is inaccurate. However, there may have been a few medics, throughout the course history, who probably joined to catch a peek every now and again.

3. Navy Corpsmen are just Marine rejects.

As much as we dislike this one, Corpsman can’t help it if their Marines freakin’ love them and see them as equals. That being said, there are a few “docs” who joined because they couldn’t get into the Corps due to stupid tattoo policies — including yours truly.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Stupid, right? (Image from U.S. Marine Corps)

2. They love issuing out the “silver bullet.”

Nope! We can’t think of a single human being who explicitly enjoys taking another’s temperature via their butthole. Yuck! But they’ll do it if they have to.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Terminal Lance #258 (Source: Terminal Lance)

Also Read: 4 most annoying assumptions female veterans absolutely hate

1. The only medical treatment they know is to tell patients to take Motrin, change their socks, and hydrate.

“Docs” can obviously do a lot more than that, but stateside, their hands are tied when it comes to rendering treatment. In combat, however, the rules and regulations dramatically change.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Yes, the meme makers of the world are so funny, we can’t stop laughing.

Can you think of any others? Let us know below.

Humor

10 craptastic Halloween costumes completely out of regulations

It’s that time of year again!


Halloween parties are being planned and folks who couldn’t hack it in the real military pick up cheap ass costumes to make believe they did. Problem is, they don’t even have the common courtesy to swing by a military surplus store and give the veteran community a laugh at their sh*tty attempt at Stolen Valor.

Related: These civilians get pretty creative with their terms for ‘stolen valor’

Certainly this isn’t a comprehensive list. God knows how many variations you can make from camo patterns and a bit of fabric. The kids are also being cut some slack on this one. It’s not like they can enlist to get actual versions of what they’re trying to be.

1. Special Ops Ninja Costume

Whenever you’re at the bar and someone says they “can’t talk about what they did in the military,” this is what they thought the military does.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

2. ‘In the Green’ American cosplay spy

Ahhh, she’s supposed to be a spy. That explains the Soviet navy cadet rank.

She could probably get whatever information she wanted with that corset/half-jacket combo.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

3. Skull Military Man

The coolness of having an Army issued Punisher mask is immediately undone by actually wearing the Army issued elbow pads.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

4. Super Sexy Cross Front

It might get a little, uh, cold, if she needed to reload her machine gun.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

5. Men’s Sexy Sailor Navy

Every sailor in the U.S. Navy constantly fights the inter-service jokes against the rest of the Armed Forces. This costume just gives us ammunition.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

6. Diva Dictator

Her regime is about to get toppled.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

7. High quality military man

“I remember my times in the Army well. Second tour to Douic 66, me and the rest of my Rolling Stones buddies saw some sh*t.”

 

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

8. Sexy Marine

Still one of the better ones to make the list. Too bad this is still the exact stereotype military guys have about women in combat.

 

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

9. Mile High Captain

Someone finally wanted to pretend to be an airman! … Oh, wait. Nevermind.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

10. Military couples costume

Just everything wrong about this. Except the stock models got the feeling of being a dual-military couple right. She’s dead inside, and he’s constantly pissed at everything.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

 

 

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Feb. 16th

I really want to hear the safety brief from the Seabees this week. Any time any lower enlisted screws up, they single that dude out and crucify him in front of the unit to make sure it never happens again. When officers screw up, they play it off as a thing that everyone does wrong and remind everyone that they’re the real victim here. Especially if it’s the same officer who screwed up.


“Alright, guys. I know you might have heard about this streaking epidemic, but that stops today!”

Anyways, here’re some memes.

13. He’ll be fine. That drone flying overhead has a sweet Valentine’s Day gift for him.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

    (Meme via PNN)

12. Always trying to look for that last f*ck to give.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Untied Status Marine Crops)

11. Throwing up doesn’t make you less of an alcoholic. It just means you’re making room for more!

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Veteran Humor)

10. F*ck Jodie; you can always find a new wife. But what about your dog?

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Sh*t my LPO says)

9. Feels like you’re wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all…

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Military Memes)

8. Come on, Seabees. There’s a time and place for running around naked.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

7. As long as they only think the party is “just loud,” you’re doing it right.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Salty Soldier)

6. It’s not like they had the balls to try sh*t during the Cold War…

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)

5. Ever wonder why so many Marine brats are born 9 months after the Marine Corps Ball?

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

4. Just enough motivation to check off the box.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

3. Marines will also yell back if they even think you say, “Marine” without capitalizing it.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

2. About to leave and you heard the words, “Hey there, hero! Where do you think you’re going?” And Retention wonders why no one speaks to them…

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme via Army as F*ck)

1. Supposedly, you only get Good Conducts for not screwing up for 3 years. Even if you do, you’ll probably still get one anyways…

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
(Meme by WATM)

Humor

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Celebrities are celebrities for a variety of reasons but mainly because they draw massive interest from the general population in one way or another. We watch them in the movies and enjoy their TV shows because they do some pretty incredible and entertaining things, and we wonder what it’d be like in their world.


But we also wonder if they could hack it in ours.

There are a few stars who also served, but we took it a step further and imagined what it would be like if different celebs joined the military, including what branch they belong in based on their personality (or our amusement).

Related: 15 awful hand salutes that don’t even come close

Check out the celebrities we’d love to see go through boot camp:

1. Andy Samberg (Coast Guard)

Well, he’s already on a boat.

Take a good hard look at the M***** F****** boat.

2. Gordon Ramsey (Marines)

He’d be perfect as a future drill instructor.

He was born for it.

3. Zac Efron (Navy)

There’s something about him sailing away that just works for us.

Have fun in boot camp Seaman Recruit Efron.

4. Miley Cyrus (Army)

She knows how to party it up in the USA.

You swing those hips girl.

5. 50 Cent (Air Force)

Let’s face it, they rarely get shot at and he could use a break.

Off to the recruiter’s office he goes.

6. Katy Perry (Marines)

Because she already has the uniform and the haircut.

Sing that sh*t girl.

7. John Cena (Marines)

He played one in the movie — he could probably pull it off in real life, right?

See, he’s using his MCMAP skills.

8. Dwayne Johnson (Marines)

He just looks like he’d be a good sergeant major one day.

Introducing Sgt. Maj. Rock.

9. Harry Styles (Army)

Because his time in the British Army didn’t work out too well #Dunkirk.

#RIPOneDirection

10. Jessica Simpson (Army)

She needs redemption for her movie Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous.

Although, she looks great in that uniform.

11. Zach Galifianakis (Navy)

He’d be a funny Top Gun candidate.

12. Kevin Hart (Army)

Who wouldn’t want this guy telling jokes after a drill instructor just went ballistic on a recruit’s unlocked foot locker?

So true.

13. Taylor Swift (Army)

We figured she’d get immediately married then divorced right after.

She knows. That’s why she’s laughing.

14. Kim Kardashian (Air Force)

No one would fail a uniform inspection with her in the squadron. (Might fail everything else, though…)

You gotta hand it to her — the girl knows fashion.

15. Justin Bieber (Coast Guard)

He can swim in ankle deep water.

Or doggy paddle if you have to. Which celebs could you see in the military? Comment below.

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Jun. 24

Look, it’s almost the weekend. Let’s just all enjoy these hilarious memes together, get through the safety brief, and immediately start doing things we’ll regret:


1. Just remember to run fast when the safety brief is open:

(via Pop Smoke)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
I feel like Hawkeye should be placed further back. What’s the point of being the only guy with a ranged weapon if you’re fighting at point-blank range anyway?

2. “Rolled sleeves! Time to show my power!!”

(via The Salty Soldier)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Of course, this only works if you actually have power. Otherwise …

SEE ALSO: The Marine Corps was just bailed out by “The Boneyard”

3. “Rolled sleeves? Time to develop some power.”

(via The Salty Soldier)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Only another couple of months of curls and you’ll be ready to show off your guns … in the winter.

4. This is exactly how Rip-Its are made. Sacrificing privates:

(via Military Memes)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

5. Just remember to bop your head to the beat as you read these lyrics (via The Salty Soldier).

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
And don’t play like you don’t know what song this is parodying.

6. I would spend these. I would spend all of these – ON FREEDOM!

(via Military Memes)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
They would also be useful for beer.

7. “Mine? Mine? Mine?”

(via The Salty Soldier)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

8. “First to sleep, last to rise.”

(via The Salty Soldier)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

9. “Yes. Yes, you would.”

(via Military Memes)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Those hearts should be explosions of blood.

10. It’s the America way (via The Salty Soldier).

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

11. Ten bucks says the generals get larger boxes than us common folks (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Probably a six or seven boxes arranged in two levels with a yard.

12. Dr. Crentist is a skilled practitioner (via The Salty Soldier).

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
He gets all the beet stains off of Dwight’s teeth. That’s impressive.

13. BTW, how long have you been sitting in the barracks, reading these memes (via The Salty Soldier)?

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Are you sure you’re not supposed to be somewhere right now?

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of June 15th

Looks like troops will stop doing drills in South Korea and actually be pulled out of there. Great. Now every unit is going to get some Joe who was just stationed there that’ll constantly complain about how “South Korea was so much better” than their new unit — despite constantly talking sh*t while there.

It’s always the same lower-enlisted troop. You know the type. They’ll show up just barely in time for First Sergeant to call “fall in,” they’ll be hungover and smell like cigarettes at every formation, and it’s almost a guarantee that they’ll defend their sh*tty actions with a limp, “well, in my last unit…”

Have fun with that, NCOs. No one will blame you for tree-line counseling those fools.


10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Amuse)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Mindless detail where you can joke with your buddies or being stuck in a training meeting, listening to how the good idea fairy will reshape the unit?

Tough call.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

NCOs’ eyes are like the dinosaurs’. They can’t see you unless you move.

I learned it from Jurassic Park, so it has to be true.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via ASMDDS)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Gunner Boy)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Military Memes)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

There’s a massive difference between being a “five-jump chump” and having your mustard stain.

Which basically cuts out every staff officer who wanted to impress the commander.

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via the Salty Soldier)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

10 memes that describe life as a military spouse
Humor

11 hand salutes that are just plain bad

We greet superior officers, pay homage to the American flag, and show respect to fallen comrades by rendering the powerful, non-verbal gesture known as the hand salute.


Though there’s no real written record of how or where the worldwide tradition started, saluting dates back in history to a time when troops would raise their right hand (their weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.

Today, recruits learn how to properly hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate the act countless times before heading out to active service. After a while, muscle memory kicks in and the gesture becomes second nature. But many civilians use the salute as a form of celebration — and they get it so, so wrong.

Related: 5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

1. When Michael Cutler, son of a truck-driving arm wrestler, returns home from military school. (Over the Top)

2. That time Cousin Eddie felt super patriotic during Christmas. (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation)

3. Some dude watching wrestling and drinking a beer. (USA Network)

4. After that former TV president gave a motivational speech. (House of Cards)

5. No clue where this is from, but it’s funny as hell.

Also read: 7 ways you know you’re an officer

6. When that little kid who turned out to be Darth Vader found out his dad was into superhero cosplay. (Jingle All the Way)

7. An unsat salute from a guy who once played a Marine in a movie. (Some award show on MTV)

8. So, we’re not exactly sure what she was trying to accomplish with her initial type of salute… but at least she ended it with a solid pointing performance.

9. At least Ms. Kaushtupper correctly mounted the American flag on the wall… (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt)

Don’t forget: 5 common movie mistakes veterans can spot right away

10. Even though his salute is off, it’s still pretty funny. (M*A*S*H)

11. There’s nothing wrong with this troop’s salute, but Dmitry Medvedev epically failed.

Articles

6 myths civilians believe about Marines

Since Nov. 10th, 1775, the Marine Corps’ rich history of kicking ass and taking names has charmed Americans and earned their respect all across the United States. Because of that, civilians see Marines in a different perspective than the Navy, Air Force, or even Army.


Since every branch of the military has a particular image that the general population associates them with, we asked several civilians, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the Marines?”

Related: 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe are true

Here’s what they said:

1. They have to be super patriotic to join

Most of them are, but others just couldn’t see themselves serving in another branch.

Now I’m joining the Corps! (Images via Giphy)

2. All Marines have to go war and fight

Not true. The Marines Corps is made of several different elements other than the infantry, like aircraft maintenance, logistics, and duties that cause your Marine to sit in an office and analyze intel all day — so breathe easy, momma bear.

Dammit, Carl! (Images via Giphy)

3. They’re all excellent shots with a rifle

Most are, but a low number of recruits score just high enough to earn the “rifle marksman” medal, a.k.a. the “pizza box.” All Marines must rifle qual before they can graduate from basic training, but it takes extra training and skill to earn higher levels of marksmanship.

Ask a Marine to explain this joke. (Images via Giphy)

4. They’re buff and strong

Most are pretty jacked, but many are just normal size — they make it up by having tons of heart.

Oh, Master Sergeant! (Images via Giphy)

5. They are mean and scary as hell

Marines can get pretty intense, but that just shows their passion. While a Marine can get super scary (especially when they gain rank or come in contact with people they just don’t like), some get by with just a quiet intensity.

But most of the time they’re fun loving. (Images via Giphy)

6. They’re brainwashed in boot camp

Negative, Ghost Rider.

They are just influenced to love their country and branch of service at an exceptionally high level through various mental and physical activities.

They have to be, to carry out the missions they’re are asked to do.

Sometimes this involves screaming while brushing their teeth — which may happen. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

17 images that show why going to the armory sucks

Checking out your weapon from the armory can be like standing in line at the DMV — it’s the worst game of hurry up and wait ever.


You were instructed to show up bright and early to check out your weapon, but the armorers never seemed to be there on time.

But once you received your rifle, life seemed to finally make sense now that you get to shoot something up. After an amazing day at the range, you now have the problem of cleaning the rifle so well the Marines working at the armory will take it back on your first pass.

If not you’ll stay and clean all evening long because the armors usually stand a 24-hour duty.

Related: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

So check out how your day typically went after you checked out your rifle from the armory.

1. When you’re told to be on time at the armory but the gate is locked.

Where are they? (Images via Giphy)

2. After 20 minutes of ringing the bell and a few Starbucks espresso shots — you finally gain entry.

Hulk wants in! (Images via Giphy)

3. When the armorer’s window finally opens for the first time after waiting what felt like an eternity.

That’s freakin’ bright. (Images via Giphy)

4. The look you give when the armorer when he asks you for the weapon’s serial number but all the caffeine you drank pulled all the blood out of your brain. Good thing you brought your weapons card with you.

Damn, I’m having a brain fart. (Images via Giphy)

5. Then when you get your beautiful and perfectly oiled rifle from the armor.

It feels like f*cking Christmas. (Images via Giphy)

6. How you felt running to the range to take your stress out on a few already destroyed armored vehicles.

Move! Out of my way! (Image via Giphy)

7. How you felt after putting hundreds of rounds accurately down range.

I’m the strongest man alive! (Images via Giphy)

8. After the adrenaline goes away, you realized it’s already 1700, you still need to clean out all the carbon that’s built up, and you have a date in a few hours.

Where did the time go? (Images via Giphy)

9. This is how fast you ran back to the armory.

Move! (Images via Giphy)

10. You scrubbed your weapon in record time.

That looks good enough. (Images via Giphy)

11. But the armorer used his dirty finger and rejected taking the rifle back into storage.

That’s not the finger we were talking about but okay. (Images via Giphy)

12. Then you yelled …

We feel you. (Images via Giphy)

13. You then began angrily scrubbing your rifle.

F*ck you carbon! (Images via Giphy)

14. Then you noticed the other platoons going home for the day and you’re still stuck here.

Farewell. (Images via Giphy)

15. After your arm gets tired, the perfect idea pops into your head.

I got it! (Images via Giphy)

16. When you walk up to the armorer’s window and you clearly put $10 inside the weapon’s ejection port.

We think she’s trying to drop a hint. (Images via Giphy)

17. It worked!

I’m free. (Image via Giphy)

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