We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result. - We Are The Mighty
Intel

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

We sent our “Vet On The Street” to downtown Hollywood to find out if people could identify the five major branches of the United States military. U.S. Marine Corps veteran and comic James P. Connolly interviewed Freddy Krueger, Captain America, Jack Sparrow and others and got some “interesting” answers. Check it out:


NOW: This video shows how ‘Full Metal Jacket’ was made

OR: We got an inside look at the crazy guns used in ‘Terminator Genisys’

Articles

13 Hilarious Meme Replies To Our Article About Dating On Navy Ships

A few days ago WATM published an article with tips for dating on a US Navy ship and the responses we got were, um, passionate and direct.


Also Watch: 37 Awesome Photos Of Life On A US Navy Carrier

At first people couldn’t believe what they were reading.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Seriously.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Finally, it sank in …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Their knee-jerk reaction to dating on a US Navy ship was …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Simply.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Of course, most sailors know better. But, there are things you say in public and things you only say to your closest friends.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Photo: Facebook

Some blame the females, but we know better …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

But really, we got this advice from real sailors, with real experience.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

You may think this is blasphemy, but the chief, well …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Master chief has seen it all.

His reply …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Veterans are like …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Junior sailors, they were like …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

But they’ll learn soon enough. Just wait till your first deployment.

At the end of the day, we hope you got a few laughs (and maybe a flashback).

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

(Editor’s note: We used the best meme replies from S–t My LPO Says‘ Facebook page to write this article.)

MORE: 27 Incredible Photos Of Life On A US Navy Submarine

AND: 19 Terms Only Sailors Will Understand

Intel

This Retired Navy Jet Is Finding New Life In The Fight Against ISIL

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Photo: Ian Vaughan/ Flickr


Retired from the Navy in 2014, the EA-6B Prowler – one of the United States’ oldest warplanes – is finding new life in the fight against The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) by scrambling enemy radios and cell phones.

Also Read: Russia Trying To Develop An Aircraft Carrier That Can Hold 100 Planes

“We were the first USMC aircraft in Syria on the first wave of strikes, and have continued to support strike packages, air drops, and other electronic warfare requirements as directed by the Combined Force Air Component Commander, ” said Lt. Col. David Mueller, VMAQ’-4’s commanding officer in an interview with Marine Times.

The mission against ISIL may be the military’s final use for the Prowler, since it’s scheduled for retirement from the Marine Corps in 2019.

“It is capable, but the platform itself is aging,” Dakota Wood, a retired Marine officer, told Marine Times. “It’s capabilities are still relevant … but the airplane itself can only have so many flight hours on the airframe.”

Introduced in 1971, the Prowler was made to protect friendly assets from enemy detection by providing an electronic cloak. It’s instruments jam enemy radar signals necessary for launching attacks while allowing friendly signals to pass through. It also detects the location of enemy radar, which it could use to hone in and destroy. Put simply, the Prowler blinds the enemy.

Apart from scrambling ISIL radio and cell phone signals, the Prowler can also block anti-aircraft weapons and devices used to set off roadside bombs. It can even block propaganda broadcasts used to recruit more followers by jamming the Internet and radio airwaves.

This 1970’s video shows the Prowler’s capabilities, minus its current technology:

NOW: The Latest Threat From ISIS Reaches New Levels Of Delusion

AND: Meet The Dutch Biker Gang Fighting Against ISIL

Articles

This is why ‘Star Wars’ is actually a series of WWII-style spy thrillers

People see the world through the lens of their own experiences. If you spent much of your career working and then studying intelligence, you may start to see potential spies everywhere.


We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Nothing suspicious here, though. (20th Century Fox)

Also Read: Star Wars tech we could really use in Iraq and Afghanistan

Dr. Vince Houghton is a U.S. Army veteran and Historian and Curator of the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. He grew up watching and loving the original Star Wars Trilogy. While in the Army, he served in a sort of intelligence role and after leaving the military, he earned a Ph.D. in Intelligence History with a background in diplomatic military history.

Every year on May 4th, he gives a lecture at the museum, making the argument for Star Wars being a series of spy films.

“People always debate about it,” Houghton says. “Is this fantasy, is this sci-fi, is it a western in space? For whatever reason, I’ve always seen it as a spy movie.”

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
She has no idea what you’re talking about. She’s on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan. (20th Century Fox)

Houghton argues that the backbone of the original trilogy is a spy operation — a story made into the latest Star Wars film, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. That story is the catalyst for Star Wars IV: A New Hope, which he sees as a classic spy movie.

“You could replace the death star with V2 or V1 or a German atomic bomb or the Iranian atomic bomb or any kind of scientific and technological intelligence and it becomes a spy movie,” he says. “Strip away all the science fiction and it’s a woman with stolen plans for a weapon trying to get them to a group of guerrillas fighting against this totalitarian empire — it could be the World War II resistance.”

But Houghton takes his argument further.

“With Empire Strikes Back, the whole thing is kicked off by the Empire attempting to use imagery intelligence, their drones, their probes, to locate the secret base of the rebels,” he says. “It’s still an intelligence operation, just a different kind.”

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.

Houghton claims Return of the Jedi is a story based on intelligence gathering and counterintelligence.

“That’s also the catalyst behind Return of the Jedi,” Houghton says. “It’s stealing the plans for the second death star. It turns out, that’s actually a big deception operation — another key issue when it comes to intelligence.”

The Spy Museum Curator is talking about Emperor Palpatine allowing the Rebel Alliance to know the location of the second Death Star. Rebel Bothan spies capture the location and plans for the space station, but it’s a ruse for the Emperor to defeat the Rebel fleet on his chosen battlespace; it was a trap, a classic deception operation designed to hide the true strength of his forces.

“You could go all the way back to Mongolians in this case,” says Houghton. “Genghis Khan did everything from tying brooms to his horses’ tails so it would kick up a lot of dust and make sure it looked like there were thousands of soldiers instead of hundreds.”

In the case of Return of the Jedi, the Emperor’s plan just didn’t work because, you know, it’s Star Wars.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Everyone’s favorite scruffy-looking nerf herder. (20th Century Fox)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is in theaters Dec. 16th. You can catch more of Dr. Vince Houghton on the International Spy Museum’s weekly podcast, Spycast, on iTunes and AudioBoom.

Intel

This new documentary takes a critical look at ‘gun-free zones’

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Photo: Safe Haven documentary


Outdoor Channel is taking a critical look at “gun-free zones” in America for its first-ever documentary, set to air on Wednesday.

Hosted by Katie Pavlich, “Safe Haven: Gun Free Zones in America” features interviews with a number of experts on self-defense, victims of gun violence, and educators to shine a light on why so-called “gun-free” zones don’t always stay that way.

“It appears that [criminals] are seeking a spot that will keep them from being prevented in accomplishing their mission,” J. Eric Deitz, a homeland security researcher at Purdue University’s College of Technology, says in the documentary. “And if their mission is mass casualties, they’re going to want to be undisturbed in that process until they’ve completed it.”

Deitz provides a computer model that shows the use of armed resource officers along with some citizens with concealed-carry firearms, can often result in fewer people being killed by an active shooter. As others mention in the film, the researcher talks about police response time not being fast enough to stop a shooting in progress.

It’s not just a pool of pro-gun advocates, however. There are some interviewees who think arming people in schools may not be the best approach. Via Guns.com:

The problem with hiring more guards in schools across the country is that “you’re starting to look another $15 billion a year,” said Steven Strauss, a Weinberg/Goldman Sachs visiting professor of public policy at Princeton University.   

Strauss said that the amount of school shootings is so small that  the probability someone’s child will be killed over the course of a year is one in several million.

“Shooting incidents at schools is so low that you run into a real risk that the cure is going to be worse than the disease,” Strauss said.

Although a large part of the documentary focuses on high-profile mass shootings such as in Newtown, Conn. and Aurora, Colo., it also features a heartbreaking interview with Amanda Collins, who recounts being raped while she walked to her car after class at the University of Nevada-Reno.

“My story is not that uncommon,” Colins says. “I could have defended myself.”

Grabbed from behind in a parking garage less than 100 yards from the classroom she just left, Collins didn’t have her licensed firearm at the time because her university was a gun-free zone. She was worried about expulsion from school and jail time, she says, but her rapist did have a gun.

“I’m not saying I could have prevented the rape from starting with the way that I was grabbed,” she says. “But I know that I would have been able to stop it.”

You can watch the trailer below, or click here to see when the doc is playing in your area.

Intel

Hello, Star Wars: The US military wants to build hover-bikes

Tanks and Jeeps have had a good run, but let’s be honest here — adding hover-bikes straight out of Star Wars to the military’s arsenal would be pretty much the coolest thing ever.


Though it might sound like science fiction, military-grade hoverbikes could become a reality faster than you think. The U.S. Army Research Laboratory has closed a deal with  Survice Engineering and Molly Aeronautics (MA) to begin creating hover-bike tech for the U.S. Department of Defense, an announcement that was released last week at the International Paris Air Show.

Malloy Aeronautics’ existing  hybrid prototype is powered much like a propeller drone, but retains the look of a traditional motorcycle. The lightweight carbon fiber craft has the lift power of a helicopter, and can handle a takeoff weight of nearly 600 pounds. MA also claims that the hoverbike can travel over 90 miles on only one tank of gas, making it an attractive sell for both commercial and military use.

The MA bike is still a work in progress, but it has been tested with a rider aboard, though it was tethered to the ground.

Check out the video below to see the Malloy Aeronautics Hoverbike in action:

DON’T MISS: William Shatner is travelling the U.S. on a crazy-looking motorcycle to promote vets

(h/t CNET)

Intel

Marine Corps veteran turned firefighter rescues teen from burning building

Lt. Danny Nee, a Marine Corps veteran turned firefighter saved a teenager’s life from a burning apartment building on Christmas Day.


His unit was responding to a call that morning when he was notified by onlookers of a woman hanging from a third-floor window. He called a ground ladder and told the woman not to jump, but then realized that the ladder would take too long to deploy and the firefighters were better off rescuing her from the interior.

They made their way through the building, broke through the apartment door and Nee went in with two other firefighters. Nee found the girl, gave her his gas mask and made it out of the building.

Watch Lt. Danny Nee recount this holiday miracle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcmhHHrIihw

Intel

Chinese troops showcase super soldier exoskeleton suits

China’s no-holds-barred military modernization program has included some attention-grabbing new technologies seemingly drawn from the recesses of science fiction. In addition to the development of artificial intelligence technology, experiments in weather control, and the development of microwave “heat ray” weapons, Beijing has also reportedly pursued programs to genetically engineer super soldiers.

And if a recent Chinese news report is to be taken at face value, the Chinese military has already deployed troops equipped with strength-enhancing exoskeleton suits to the disputed Sino-Indian Himalayan border.

According to a report by the Chinese state broadcaster CCTV, a detachment of Chinese border guard troops wearing the exoskeleton suits hauled a supply delivery to a mountaintop outpost in China’s southwestern Ngari prefecture — a Himalayan territory within the Tibetan Autonomous Region that includes portions of China’s contested border with India. In a video news report posted online, Chinese soldiers don devices that attach to their legs and waists, providing extra propulsion and support as they shouldered loads (containing food parcels to celebrate the Lunar New Year) up a rugged mountain trail at a reported altitude of roughly 16,700 feet.

Chinese forces first advertised their use of the exoskeletons in the Himalayan region in February, according to Chinese news reports, which touted the technology as a way to increase an individual soldier’s load-carrying capacity — especially at high altitude. An October CCTV video showed Chinese soldiers lifting heavy crates with the assistance of another, more substantial exoskeleton suit variant with a brace that extends the length of the wearer’s spine.

While eye-catching, the varied Chinese exoskeleton suits are more or less analogous to the designs currently being tested by the US military. Last year, the US Army began a four-year, $6.9 million research program to evaluate exoskeleton suits for military use. The suits under review are designed to artificially enhance the physical performance limits of a soldier — allowing him or her to run faster, jump higher, and carry heavier loads.

“As we explore the more mature exoskeleton options available to us and engage users, the more we learn about where the possible value of these systems is to army operations,” David Audet, a division chief in the Soldier Effectiveness Directorate at the US Army Natick Soldier Research, Development and Engineering Center, told Army-technology.com.

The US Army is currently evaluating multiple exoskeleton variants, including designs by American defense firms such as Lockheed Martin and Dephy.

Lockheed Martin’s Onyx suit includes leg attachments that resemble therapeutic leg braces connecting to a waist belt. The Onyx uses electromechanical knee actuators, multiple sensors, and an artificial intelligence computer to boost human strength and endurance, according to Army-technology.com.

“Before the army can consider investing in any development above what industry has done on their own, we need to make sure that users are on board with human augmentation concepts and that the systems are worth investing in,” Audet said.

US Special Operations Command (SOCCOM) and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) have also built exoskeleton suits of their own. Comprising a roughly 700-pound suit replete with anti-ballistic, full-body armor and an array of sophisticated sensors, the SOCCOM design was deemed unwieldy and unworkable and was ultimately canceled, according to industry reports.

The DARPA exoskeleton is a so-called soft suit that facilitates easier freedom of movement while providing extra power to a soldier’s waist, hips, thighs, and calves.

China and India share a 2,000-mile-long border in the Himalayas, which includes some of the harshest terrain and environmental conditions on earth. It is an ideal testing ground for China’s burgeoning exoskeleton technology.

Much of the region is above 14,000 feet in altitude. It is arid and cold, with severe exposure in places. The unfiltered sunlight at high altitude can cause blindness if not wearing the right sunglasses. And the lack of oxygen can cause lethal afflictions like pulmonary and cerebral edemas to strike without warning.

Deployed troops have to spend weeks acclimating to the reduced oxygen levels at such heights before they’re able to perform their duties. For the Indian army, this takes place at an outpost on the Chang La pass — which, at 17,586 feet in altitude, is roughly the same height as Mount Everest base camp.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Indian and Chinese forces have competing claims over Pangong Lake. Photo by Nolan Peterson.

Tensions between China and India inflamed in May after reports of fistfights between Chinese and Indian border patrols at two different sites along the so-called Line of Actual Control, or LAC, which denotes the two countries’ Himalayan frontier in a remote Indian region called Ladakh.

Chinese units have also claimed territory near Pangong Tso, a high-altitude lake that marks part of the Himalayan frontier between the two countries. The two sides have overlapping claims on the lake. A hand-to-hand brawl in June left 20 Indian soldiers dead; Chinese troops have also used microwave weapons to harass Indian troops, according to news reports.

Both Indian and Chinese forces are in the midst of a phased withdrawal from the contested Himalayan border region, Indian news outlets report. The bilateral moves are intended to restore the border area to its status prior to last summer’s escalated tensions.

“Both sides will cease their forward deployments in a phased, coordinated and verified manner,” Indian Defense Minister Rajnath Singh said Feb. 11.

Feature photo: Screenshot from YouTube courtesy of Chinese Media Perspective

This article originally appeared on Coffee or Die. Follow @CoffeeOrDieMag on Twitter.

Intel

Why the USGS says it’s stupid to roast marshmallows over a volcano

There’s nothing better to do while you’re out camping with the people you tolerate love than to crack open a beer and roast some marshmallows over a nice fire. I mean, who doesn’t love a little puffed sugar that’s slightly caramelized?

As everyone knows, the entire state of Hawaii has collectively forgotten the last time they gave a f*ck. Many people are taking the recent volcanic eruption with far less seriousness than natural disasters deserve — unlike here in Los Angeles, where a light drizzle brings the entire city to a terrified stand-still.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Still not as terrifying as reenlisting.

Many Hawaiians have reacted to the flow of lava by taking photos of the incoming molten rock and, generally, taking the whole thing in stride. Twitter user @JayFurr was trolling the official United States Geological Survey — Volcanoes twitter account and asked if it was okay to roast marshmallows in the heat given off by the lava.

@USGSVolcanoes responded with their own half-trolling response.


Which is all legitimate advice. Sulfur dioxide is, essentially, air pollution and hydrogen sulfide is what gives volcanoes that farty smell (hence the joke in Shrek). The sulfuric acid within the vog (or volcanic fog) actually has a really kick-ass reaction when met with sugar. Check the video below for example.

The USGS took the trolling in stride, even if nearly every news outlet insists they took it seriously. For obvious reasons, getting close to lava is a dumb idea and, from the get-go, it was obvious this Twitter user was kidding — Jay Furr’s account even says he’s from Vermont.

But this wasn’t the only time the idea of cooking marshmallows over a pool of magma has come up. Storytrender on YouTube did it a while back in New Zealand. There’s no audio, but you can kind-of see the guy wince while he eats the roasted marshmallow.

It’s safe to assume it tasted like farts.

Intel

What doesn’t actually constitute an OPSEC violation

We live in a world more connected than ever before. Within many of our pockets is a device that can instantly share words, voice, photos, and videos with anyone else connected to the internet. That unprecedented ease of access to information has led many to accidentally share restricted, sensitive information. This is a breach of what’s known within in the military as “operations security” (OPSEC). We all know that loose lips sink ships, but despite that, it seems like lectures have been given on a near-weekly basis in the military to keep information from leaking.


As long as thought is put into what’s posted, no sensitive information is released, and what is posted won’t be used as key puzzle piece for the enemy, no one gives a sh*t.

Here’s what you can share without violating OPSEC. Of course, take all of this with a grain of salt. Take all commands from your superiors and unit’s intelligence analysts. They will always have the final say.

1. Group photos (as long as nothing sensitive is shown)

If you’re deployed to Afghanistan and you want to get a picture to remember the good times, go for it! Post it on Facebook and tag all of your bros so you can reminisce down the road.

Make sure it isn’t taken in a classified location, inside the Ops center, or anywhere else with sensitive information around. Make sure that nothing is shown that hasn’t yet been made public knowledge.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
I mean, unless you don’t want the enemy to know where your most convenient smoke pit is… (Photo by OF-2 Kay Nissen)

2. General information about yourself

Chances are high that you’re not doing Maverick-level work, so there’s no need to use the “If I told you, I’d have to kill you” line at the bar. If you’re a regular Joe in the formation, it’s not a secret that you’re just rearranging connexes in between the occasional patrol mission.

For the large majority of Uncle Sam’s warfighters, the only real bit of sensitive information about an individual is a social security number — but letting that slip is more of a personal security risk than a national one.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Being in the military is already badass enough. You don’t need to inflate your ego to impress someone who’s already interested. (Photo by Spc. Ryan DeBooy)

3. General locations (if it’s public knowledge troops are there)

Obviously, you should never post GPS coordinates along with times of your movements. But if someone asks where you are, you can totally reply with, “I don’t know, some sh*thole in the middle of nowhere.” People don’t really need to know, care, or sometimes understand where you’re at.

Plus, we’ve had troops in Afghanistan for almost seventeen years, so they can probably find the country on a globe, and that’s about it.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
This is basically how they all see the Middle East anyway. (Photo by Chief Master-at-Arms Tony Guyette)

4. Mailing address (after a certain time)

If you’re out on deployment and someone back home is worried sick about you, it’s completely fine to say where you’re at after the unit allows you to post it.

Deployed mailing addresses are very distinct. The street code is usually the unit, the city and state is “APO, AE,” and the ZIP code starts with a zero. This format is the same for troops in-country, stationed overseas, and at sea. There isn’t much personal information that can be deciphered from a mailing address that can’t be found in hundreds of other ways. “Private Smith is with this unit and isn’t in America” isn’t a shocking discovery.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
How else are you going to get cookies from your worried mother?

5. Anything already published

“I don’t know how to break this to you guys — and it’s super serious — troops have supplies somewhere in the Middle East!” See how dumb that sounds? Everyone already knows that.

Posting stuff on social media that’s already published doesn’t breach OPSEC. Why would a terrorist go through the effort to find something on your profile they can get from a quick Google search?

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
If the official U.S. Army Facebook page posts something about how it has stuff all around the world in locations that troops are commonly stationed, they probably know what they’re doing. (Image via U.S. Army Facebook)

Intel

Tankers absolutely hate this missile

The TOW missile has been the go-to weapon for blowing up tanks since the Vietnam War.


The Tube-launched, Optically-tracked, Wire-guided (TOW) missile was made by Hughes Aircraft and was initially deployed in Vietnam on Huey helicopters.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
YouTube: Jaglavak Military

Unlike the Javelin with its fire-and-forget capability, the TOW missile system uses wires to guide its payload to targets. When the missile is launched, the optical sensor on the tube continuously monitors the position of the missile during flight, correcting its trajectory with electrical signals passed through the cables. This means that the target must be kept in the shooter’s line of sight until impact. The weapon quickly evolved into a portable system that could be fired by infantry units in the field and mounted on jeeps and other vehicles.

In 1997, Raytheon purchased Hughes from General Motors and continued to improve the TOW line. Under Raytheon, the TOW missile has evolved into a wireless version that uses a one-way radio link for guidance. It’s currently used by the Army and the Marine Corps.

Of course, tankers on the other side of the missile hate it for how it cuts through their armor. Watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCg8aXjJ2SU

ArmedForceUpdate, YouTube

Intel

Taliban interrupts soldiers’ cookout, soldiers care less and keep grilling

Nothing comes between a man and a perfectly-grilled steak. Not even enemy fire.


Though this video is a few years old, it’s been making the rounds once again on various military blogs and Facebook pages (we found this one via Brian Jones at Task Purpose).

The video shows a group of soldiers grilling some steaks at OP Vegas in the Korengal Valley, according to the description. But while they are cooking up their delightful meal, the bad guys decide to start shooting.

While many of the soldiers begin to fire back, at least a couple stick around for the more important task of not overcooking the steaks. “The steaks are fine, that’s all that matters,” one soldier says in the video.

Watch (language warning):

SEE ALSO: The 6 types of people you meet outside of every military base

Intel

Russian media’s Putin coverage is North Korea-kind of ridiculous

You may have heard stories from North Korea’s state media that sound just plain silly. Like the time, Kim Jong-Il phoned the North Korean soccer coach during their World Cup match against Brazil with the invisible phone he invented. Or the time Kim Jong-Il played golf for the first time and finished with 11 holes-in-one. The list goes on.


Related: 11 things you didn’t know about North Korea

Russian state media is following North Korea’s playbook in the way it presents President Vladimir Putin. After all, there isn’t anything Putin can’t do.

He’s skilled in Judo martial arts . . .

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
YouTube, Vox

He’s a race car driver …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
YouTube, Vox

He’s an archeologist …

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Image: Shirtless Putin Doing Things

 

… And he’s a stud who goes hunting shirtless.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Image: Shirtless Putin Doing Things

But he also has a soft side.

We asked civilians to name the five military branches. This is the hilarious result.
Image: Shirtless Putin Doing Things

Although this may seem silly to the rest of the western world, there’s a reason behind this image.

Watch:

Do Not Sell My Personal Information