8 military acronyms that will make you cringe - We Are The Mighty
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8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Some acronyms are okay. SitRep is a quicker way saying Situation Report. PBKAC is a polite way for S6 to say that there isn’t an issue, there’s a Problem Between Keyboard And Chair. And FNG is so universally known and accepted by everyone except the F*cking New Guys themselves.


Some are actually cool. Usually they’re mnemonics that make something seem more impressive. Downed Aircraft Recovery Teams are cool and saying, “I have to go on a DART mission” sounds cooler somehow. Telling people “I can’t tell you that. It would violate OpSec” is a million times more thrilling than saying, “I sat by the radios in the COC for nine hours at a time.”

Also read: 14 images that humorously recall your first firefight

The following acronyms are just dumb.

Some are dumb because hearing them out loud just sounds dumb or the people saying them always have a dumb look on their face when they say them.

This isn’t an all encompassing list. Let us know in the comment section your more hated acronyms, and in the meantime, enjoy:

1. COC: Combat Operations Center

There’s a good reason troops say each letter in this one. Still brings a little joy to my heart when I read a sign saying “Only E6 and above in the COC.”

2. FARP: Forward Arming and Refueling Point

On paper, this sounds like an intense place. A small aviation unit holding their own to ensure that helicopter pilots can keep kicking ass in the battlefield is awesome. Too bad whenever you say the name out loud it sounds like, well, you know.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
(Image via Army.mil)

3. CAC: Common Access Card

Two reasons this made the list:

First off, it sounds like you’re from Boston whenever you have to “flash your CAC at the gate guard.”

The other is because of the amount of people who say “CAC Card.” It’s as redundant as ATM machine and PIN number.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
I can almost guarantee that under that smile is someone who’s heard the CAC joke a hundred times just on that shift alone. (U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Gabrielle Spradling)

4. BOHICA: Bend over, Here it comes again!

Context is everything. If you say it under your breath to your bro when you find out you have duty on a holiday or you have to layout another connex (shipping container). It’s fine. Saying to your subordinates, it’s creepy, but fine. Randomly throwing it into conversation, like it does nine times out of ten, just makes no sense.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Get some! (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Laura Mercado)

5. IYAAYAS: If You Ain’t Ammo, You Ain’t Shit

How do you know if someone was Air Force weapons load crew? Don’t worry. They’ll tell you.

To be fair; it’s still a pretty cool MOS and the fourth coolest in the Air Force — behind JTACs, Pararescue, and, you know, the pilots everyone associates the Air Force with…

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
If you ain’t ammo, you…are probably enjoying your time in the Air Force. (U.S. Air National Guard photo by Master Sgt. Carl Clegg)

6. PPPPPPP or 7 P’s: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

This just makes no sense. It sounds like someone came up with 5 P’s, said “I think I can add another. Let’s add prior!” Then someone else said “Hey battle. Want to know what would look better on your NCOER? 7 P’s,” and then struggled, gave up, and added “piss” into it.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

7. Roger, WILCO: Received, will comply

What works while talking over a radio makes you look like a tool in a face-to-face conversation. “Roger, Sir/Ma’am/Sergeant” is good enough. No need to be high speed.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Improper radio etiquette is another beast entirely. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Kassie L. McDole)

8. Any variation of “Hey, do you know what [Whatever branch of service] stands for?”

‘U’ Sure Are F*cked, Uncle Sam Ain’t Released Me Yet, Never Again Volunteer Yourself, and ‘U’ Signed the Mother f*cking Contract.

It’s the same joke, told by someone who just heard it, telling it to someone who heard it a million times before. It was probably funny the first time but not any more.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
And they’re always told by someone making this exact face (Image via Know Your Meme)

Articles

13 top American CEOs with military experience

There are plenty of differences between America’s biggest companies but for some there is a common bond: CEOs with military backgrounds.


While it’s not a requirement that a company leader have time in uniform, a working paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research showed it certainly doesn’t hurt. CEOs with military backgrounds are fairly conservative with company financials and often outperform peers during stressful times, the paper found.

Unfortunately, the number of corporate CEOs with backgrounds in the military is shrinking, but here are 13 of the biggest names, along with what they did in the military.

1. Alex Gorsky

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Johnson Johnson

Currently: CEO of Johnson Johnson

Military experience: Graduated from West Point, then served six years in the U.S. Army and attained the rank of Captain. Ranger and Airborne qualified with service in Europe and Panama.

2. Lowell McAdam

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: CEO of Verizon

Military experience: Spent six years in the U.S. Navy’s Civil Engineer Corps and attended Cornell on a Naval ROTC scholarship.

3. Bob Parsons

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: Founder and CEO of YAM Worldwide, Inc., and board member at GoDaddy, which he founded. He previously served as CEO of GoDaddy.

Military experience: Served as a U.S. Marine rifleman in Vietnam, where he was wounded by enemy fire while on patrol. He received the Combat Action Ribbon, Purple Heart, and Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry.

4. Fred Smith

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: Chairman, president, and CEO of FedEx Corporation

Military experience: Came up with the business model for Fedex will an undergrad at Yale, but took a break from school to enlist in the U.S. Marine Corps. He served two tours in Vietnam before he founded what would become FedEx in 1971.

5. Robert S. Morrison

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: Serves in board positions at Aon plc, 3M, and Illinois Tool Works Inc, among others. He previously served as the Vice Chairman at Pepsico, Inc., and the CEO of The Quaker Oats Company.

Military experience: Served as a Marine during the Vietnam war, where he received the Silver Star and the Purple Heart for combat wounds. He left the Corps at the rank of captain.

6. Daniel Akerson

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: Special advisor at the Carlyle Group. Akerson previously served as the chairman and CEO of General Motors from 2010 to 2014.

Military experience: Graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1970 and served on the destroyer USS Dupont.

7. Robert McDonald

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: The Secretary of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. He previously served as the CEO of Procter Gamble.

Military experience: A West Point graduate, McDonald served in the 82nd Airborne division and attained the rank of captain.

8. Scott Wine

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Polaris

Currently: Chairman and CEO of Polaris

Military experience: Graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1989 and served in the Navy Supply Corps.

9. Stuart Parker

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: CEO of USAA

Military experience: Served in the U.S. Air Force for nearly ten years, flying combat missions during Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm.

10. James Mulva

CurrentlySits on the board of directors at GE. He previously served as the president and CEO of ConocoPhillips.

Military experience: Graduated from Navy ROTC from The University of Texas in 1969 and served as a Navy officer until 1973.

11. Robert Stevens

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Lockheed

Currently: Retired. Served as chairman, president, and CEO of Lockheed Martin, and later as Executive Chairman.

Military experience: Stevens enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps in 1970, serving three years in III Marine Amphibious Force.

12. Jim Skinner

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: McDonalds

Currently: Chairman of Walgreens. Previously, he was the vice chairman and CEO of McDonalds.

Military experience: Over nearly ten years of service, completed two tours in the Gulf of Tonkin during the Vietnam War with the U.S. Navy.

13. Robert Myers

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Currently: Chairman and CEO of Casey’s General Stores, Inc.

Military experience: Enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1966, and served for 22 years, retiring as a lieutenant colonel. He served in Germany, Vietnam, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait, according to Fortune.

SEE ALSO: 17 wild facts about the Vietnam War  

Lists

10 reasons all troops should have a pet

Friends and family will always miss us while we’re deployed, but no one will miss us more than our pets.


The folks back home can write letters, make care packages, and even hop on a video call if they miss their troops, but pets, on the other hand, just have to wait for moments like these:

10. Try not to cry when they’re crying with joy as you step through that door.

(AReynolds007 | YouTube)

9. Doesn’t matter how big they are, they’re always our little puppies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G80oSZ–QU

(Homecoming Heroes | YouTube)

8. Doesn’t matter how old they are, they’re always our little puppies.

(Itschmidt02 | YouTube)

7. Dressing up in your Dress uniform doesn’t matter, but it won’t hurt.

(Poke My Heart | YouTube)

6. Even if you have more than one puppy, the only thing on their mind is who gets to play with you first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IygISI9VkUQ

(Homecoming Heroes | YouTube)

5. A devil dog needs their own devil dog.

(Kimm Piluk | YouTube)

4. Even without holding a sign, they’ll give the best welcome home at the airport.

(Brent C. | YouTube)

3. It’s not just dogs. Cats even get in on the action.

(Wildlimeyogi | YouTube)

2. Cats may act all tough, but they’re just as big of softies as a puppy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37neD2rgwfs

(Candance Grubbs | YouTube)

1. And they’ll always let you know how much they missed you!

(PajamaDrama | YouTube)

*Bonus* Well, not all of the time…

Yes. We’re tracking that this one is openly a parody video using actors who aren’t in the military. It’s still funny, though, because, well, they’re still cats.

(YouTube, Kate Sidley)

 

Two of the greatest things ever are pets and returning veterans. No matter what your personal outlook on life is, nothing pulls at heartstrings like when the two meet. If you have any photos or videos of returning home to your pet, or even if you want to show off your furry best friend, please share them in comment section!

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Meme day! Since many of you are already enjoying your four days off for Memorial Day, you won’t have to hide your phone while you read this week. (Unless you have duty, and in that case … sorry.)


1. Is there any doubt here?

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Your troops are planning their weekend. They are always planning their weekend.

2. Mario Kart no longer has anything on real life.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Though it will probably hurt more to crash in real life.

SEE ALSO: Video: 10 little known (and surprising) facts about al Qaeda

3. Coast Guard leads a flock of ships into safer waters.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

4.  Junior enlisted can’t get no respect (via Air Force Memes and Humor).

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
… unless the Air Force forms an E4 mafia.

5. Kids restaurants are taking serious steps to prevent fraud.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Of course, if they could just install .50-cal games, I’d be more likely to take my niece there.

6. Nothing shady about this at all (via Sh-t My LPO Says).

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Move along. Nothing to see here.

7. Dempsey discusses his plans for ISIS. (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Finally, the infantry arrives and things really get going.

8. Most important class in the military: how to get your travel money (via Air Force Memes and Humor).

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Of course, it’s a little more complicated than is presented here.

9. “Do you even sail, bro?”

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Those machine guns look pretty cool when there isn’t a deck gun in the photo.

10. Mattis always focuses on the strategic and tactical factors.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
You only get to give Mattis orders if you’re in his chain of command.

11. Airmen 1st Class are trained professionals. (via Air Force Memes and Humor)

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
But, they aren’t necessarily experienced, and that can be important.

 12. There are different kinds of soldiers.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
If Waldo was the specialist, he would never be found.

13. “Everything needs to be tied down.” (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

NOW: 19 of the coolest military unit mottos

AND: The 14 best military non-fiction books of all-time

Articles

9 essential items soldiers should have in their barracks rooms

1. Water filter

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Youtube.com


Soldiers drink enough crappy water in the field when a lieutenant decides the platoon needs to practice using iodine tablets. While relaxing in the barracks, they need a decent filter. Pitcher filters allow the water to chill in the fridge, but faucet-mounted units provide water on demand.

2. Headphones

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: US Army

No one wants to hear their roommates’ music, movie, or video game, so headphones should be on everyone’s list.

3. Coffeemaker

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Youtube.com

For a cup of coffee before PT, the DFAC is no help. Plus, coffee in the room is great for troops during lazy weekends when throwing on a hoodie and walking to chow is too much work. A cheap coffee maker allows a soldier to create their own brew on demand. For those under strict barracks policies against coffee makers, French presses aren’t forbidden and are nearly as easy to use.

4. Hot plate

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Flickr.com/George Alexander Ishida Newman

The DFAC won’t serve grilled cheese at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning when soldiers are craving it. Hot plates with a couple of pans allow for diner quality meals at home. For those who only grill, griddles allow for mass production or George Foreman grills are good for chicken and hot dogs. Keep an eye out for inspections however, since few commands allow hotplates. Some barracks now have stoves, so troops there can just buy pans.

5. Rugs (or a carpet for the swanky)

Rugs and carpets hide a lot of the stuff first sergeant looks for on the floor, and they grab up lots of the hair and debris that forms dust bunnies. Plus, carpet is more comfortable on sensitive toes after a long ruck march.

6. Vacuum

Vaccum cleaner for the barracks automated Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Nohau

Of course, carpets and rugs necessitate vacuums. There’s only a few hundred square feet to cover though, so a cheap vacuum is generally fine. Roombas can wait until the soldier marries out of the barracks.

7. Family photos, whether of a real family or not

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Evil Erin

Units want to see that soldiers are settling into the barracks, and that means personal items should be up on the walls. If the family is normal, the trooper can put up actual photos. For those with hot sisters and creepy roommates, a trip to a stock image site could be helpful. Just print and frame.

8. Plunger/Toilet Brush

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Youtube.com

Troops go to the field, even the human administration folks. They are fed MREs. They need a plunger, and they need a toilet brush.

9. Tons of cleaning wipes and air fresheners

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Surprise inspections center on a few things. 1. Dishes in the sink. 2. Dust accumulated on ledges. 3. Smells. The dishes are simple enough. The best way to deal with dust and any odd smells is to stock up on cleaning wipes and air freshener. The wipes make cleaning the lips of door frames and the fridge easy, dealing with the dust. Air freshener helps the room at least smell clean so first sergeant will move on to the next area.

EXTRA BONUS: A hot tub.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Terminal Lance/Facebook

Because that’s how you win at barracks life.

NOW: Heres a hilarious look at what life is like for Marines on a Navy ship

OR: 6 reasons why the guys from The Hangover are like an Army unit

Lists

The most ridiculous weapons ever designed

From homemade tanks to nuclear landmines kept warm by chickens, war brings out the engineers in people. When a weapons system works, it’s made by the thousands, and sometimes used for decades. But when it doesn’t, it’s quickly added to the dustbin of bad ideas. Many of these ridiculous, odd, and exceptionally weird weapons were developed by militaries all over the world, but either proved impractical or were canceled before production.


The Most Ridiculous (Real) Weapons Used Throughout History

More from Ranker:

This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

NOW: The 7 weirdest nuclear weapons ever developed

Lists

7 of the greatest guerrilla fighters in American history

America often fights wars as the big, bad empire with all the fancy toys and weapons. But U.S. troops haven’t always enjoyed the technological advantage. So, sometimes military leaders have turned to guerrilla tactics to keep the enemy off balance until a more conventional force can pin them down and defeat them.


Here are seven of the American guerrilla leaders who took the fight to the enemy:

1. Francis “The Swamp Fox” Marion

 

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Francis Marion learned guerrilla warfare as a militia lieutenant in a war against the Cherokee Indians in 1761. When the Revolutionary War began, Marion was named a captain and given command of an infantry unit. He rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel and fought hard, but he was there when the battle of Camden ended organized resistance in South Carolina.

Rather than sit out the rest of the war, he enlisted a force of a few dozen men known as Marion’s Partisans and led them in harassing operations against the British. The Partisans scattered British and Loyalist forces on multiple occasions and once rescued 150 Patriot prisoners. Multiple British task forces to capture or kill Marion and the Partisans failed.

2. John Mosby

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

John Mosby started his military career as a young cavalryman and scout but he was quickly identified by J.E.B. Stuart and commissioned as an officer. He rose to the rank of major before taking command of “Mosby’s Rangers,” the force that would later make him famous.

The Rangers used guerrilla tactics to devastate Union lines. He and his men once captured a sleeping Union general during a raid. The Rangers fought on after the surrender at Appomattox Courthouse, but eventually broke apart. Mosby was wanted until Gen. Ulysses S. Grant intervened on his behalf.

3. Carl Eifler

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Carl Eifler was eventually dubbed “The Deadliest Colonel” in World War II for his work with the OSS. He led a group of American trainers into Japanese-occupied Burma and raised a force of the local Kachin people. Eifler and his men led raids against the Japanese that eventually claimed over 5,000 lives.

They also rescued over 500 stranded airmen and provided intelligence for Allied forces in the area. The Kachins would feed important target information to the Army Air Forces, allowing the bombing campaigns in the area to be much more successful.

4. Peter J. Ortiz

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Marine Corps Maj. Peter J. Ortiz parachuted into Nazi-occupied with a team of five Marines, but one was killed and another seriously injured during the jump. Ortiz and the other three survivors linked up with the Maquis resistance and helped lead them in operations against the Germans.

Related video:

The Marine-backed resistance forces set ambushes and stole key equipment. German losses were so heavy that they thought an entire Allied battalion had jumped into Normandy. The Americans were eventually captured, but put up such a fight that the German commander accepted the surrender and expected a company of fighters to emerge. When only four men came out, he initially accused Ortiz of lying about his numbers.

5. James H. Lane

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

James H. Lane was one of the more controversial guerrilla fighters in the Civil War, especially on the Union side. He fought in Kansas before the Civil War in support of “Free Staters” who wanted to keep slavery out of the territory.

During the Civil War, he led fighters in Kansas and raised a group of volunteers to guard the White House before the Union Army raised troops for the same purpose. After returning to Kansas, he raised 2,000 fighters that guarded Kansas against Confederate action. His controversy comes from an 1861 assault into Missouri where he led his men in the assault, looting, and burning of Osceola, Missouri.

6. John McNeill

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

John McNeill led approximately 200 men in a guerrilla campaign against Union troops in western Virginia in the Civil War. He and his men were probably most famous for shutting down a portion of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad by burning machine shops and destroying a bridge.

The Union later diverted over 20,000 troops to protect the supply lines. McNeill died in a raid in 1864 but his men continued to fight.

7. Jack Hinson

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Jack Hinson started the Civil War as an informant for both sides, seemingly fine with whomever came out on top. But then a group of Union soldiers executed and beheaded his two sons under suspicions of Confederate activity. Jack Hinson then had a custom sniper rifle made and became one of the most effective single-man guerrillas in history.

Armed with his 17-pound, .50-cal. sniper rifle, the 57-year-old man killed the men involved in his sons’ executions. Then he sought out to break the Union Army, firing on Union soldiers on the Tennessee River and killing about 100 troops. In one case, a Union gunboat attempted to surrender after suffering several losses because they were convinced they were under attack by a superior Confederate force.

Articles

9 times when cartoons were used to spread military propaganda

Propaganda cartoons play a big role in war by educating service members, encouraging the purchase of war bonds, and rallying the home front. The heyday of American propaganda cartoons was easily World War II, and a motley assortment of characters have been used to win the wars.


As a note, many of the war cartoons were deliberately racist towards the people of enemy nations, so expect some offensive imagery when viewing.

1. Private Snafu and his cigar-smoking Army fairy

Snafu was a young Army private who constantly got himself into trouble by complaining, shirking duty, or avoiding medicine and immunizations. In “Three Brothers,” Snafu wishes he had one his brothers’ jobs, and the cigar smoking fairy shows up to show Snafu what his brothers, Pvt. Tarfu and Pvt. Fubar, are doing for the war effort. Snafu was voiced by Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny.

2. Willie and Joe

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Me future is settled, Willie. I’m gonna be a perfessor on types o’ European soil.

Drawn by Army Sgt. Bill Mauldin, Willie and Joe were characters Mauldin used often to show the rigors in the field. Originally assigned to the 45th Infantry Division, Mauldin was soon assigned to the Stars and Stripes for which he drew six cartoons a week. His cartoons got him in serious trouble with Gen. George S. Patton, but the troops loved his work, especially the war weary Willie and Joe.

3. Superman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7eT-23id7k

The Man of Steel did his part in World War II. Superman was generally depicted as a newspaperman in the States, fighting spies and saboteurs. But, he did take the fight to the enemy a few times, like in “The Eleventh Hour” when he began sabotaging Japanese industrial efforts.

4. Donald Duck and the Disney crew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWY-Nn0rDmA

Most of the Disney crew joined the war effort in different ways. Donald Duck famously took the fight to the enemy though. Oddly, the duck famous for his sailor uniform was typically depicted as being in the Army. Donald was even airborne. He makes his first jumps in “Sky Trooper” above, and eventually conducted a solo combat jump into Japan.

5. Annie Awful – The killer, sexy mosquito

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: US Government Printing Office

Awful Annie, and mosquitoes like her, were depicted as waiting on cots for service members who neglected to hang anti-mosquito nets. The mosquitos, and the malaria they carried, were some of the deadliest killers in the war.

6. The Axis leaders

Of course, real world characters were recreated in the cartoon world, and the depictions of Axis leaders were not very flattering. In “The Ducktators,” Hirohito, Mussolini, and Hitler get depicted as zealous ducks. Other Nazi leaders were ridiculed beside Hitler in “Education for Death.”

7. Looney Tunes and the Gremlins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jljAMQNbl4Y

Like the Disney characters, Looney Tunes characters joined the war. In “Falling Hare,” Bugs Bunny goes up against gremlins that are trying to damage Allied aviation equipment.

8. Popeye

Popeye the sailor man joined the military in World War II. Predictably, he joined the Navy. He appeared in a lot of cartoons including “Many Tanks,” and “Seeing Red, White, and Blue.” In the above video, “A Jolly Good Furlough,” he gets to visit his nephews and see the jobs they do in home defense.

9. Mr. Hook

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voYVK2ftMyk

Mr. Hook was part of a short-running series that began in 1943 where a vet of World War II looked back at his time in the conflict and described his exploits to his son. The dad would tell his son the importance of war bonds to America’s eventual victory and then celebrate all the money they made off the bonds when they finally matured.

NOW: Watch this Iraq War veteran’s tragic story told through the lens of a cartoon

OR: This powerful film tells how Marine fought ‘One Day of Hell’ in Fallujah

Articles

11 fictional weapons we wish we could check out of the armory

Checking out your weapon from the armory is like standing in line at the DMV — it’s the worst game of hurry up and wait ever.


When you do get it, you spend your day dry firing your weapon at the range and then check it right back in at the close of business.

It happens every day, and the repetition can be very annoying.

Meanwhile back at the barracks, you’re sitting in front of your TV watching your favorite movies or playing your favorite video game, and you begin to think that the futuristic laser gun might be a lot of fun to use against actual bad guys.

Related: This Gatling gun fires up to 6,000 F-Us per minute … and we love it

Check our list of fictional weapons we wish we could check out of the armory:

1. That super sonic shotgun thingy (Minority Report)

When killing the bad guys isn’t the mission, but knocking the crap out of them is.

They got knocked the f*ck out. (Images via Giphy)I actually just want to have this around for my daily commute.

2. The Noisy Cricket (Men in Black)

It would be that perfect weapon to conceal around your ankle holster if you can withstand the recoil of firing it.

His back has to be sore. (Images via Giphy)Maybe do some squats and work on your stance before a live-fire exercise.

3. The Auto 9 (RoboCop)

Because having a .357 Desert Eagle look-a-like you can fire on full auto is badass.

No big deal. (Images via Giphy) If shooting paper targets isn’t your thing, Detroit still needs cops. No word on the Auto 9 being standard issue though.

4.  M41A Pulse Rifle (Alien)

With the outstanding rate of fire of 900 rounds per minute, we’d take this sucker anywhere.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Ripley, Cpl. Hicks, and M41A Pulse Rifle. (Source: Fox)

Also, kudos to the guys who actually made an M41A. Please bring some by Twentynine Palms for immediate testing.

5.  Lightsaber (Star Wars)

This would be a better weapon to have than the standard issue bayonet we’re used too.

Look at his perfect freakin’ form. (Images via Giphy)

6. The Lawgiver (Judge Dredd)

It fires grenades, armor-piercing rounds, and it’s voice activated. This would be the perfect weapon if you find yourself in a jam.

They’ve all been judged. (robert cowley, Youtube) 

Plus, yelling “I AM THE LAW” every time you fire it would be therapeutic.

7.  The Needler (Halo)

A weapon that shoots energy bursts is a must-have in our armory.

(CryGateEntertainment, YouTube)

8. Mark 2 Lancer (Gears of War)

It’s the perfect weapon if you just feel like cleaving your enemy in two.

Cut that sucker. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: These 4 guns were used to make the longest sniper kills in history

9. EM-1 (Eraser)

This rail gun comes fully equipped with a green x-ray scope and we like that.

A little overkill maybe, but it’s still badass. (Images via Giphy)

10. Gatling Gun Jet Pack (Kickass)

Who wouldn’t want this epic flying weapon in their armory?

Although, cleaning it would be a pain in the a**. (Images via Giphy)

11. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Portal)

With the ability to create portals and teleport through space, this gun could send troops into any battle in a matter of moments.

Perfect for snatch and grab missions. (Images via Giphy) Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Lists

7 horrifying atrocities of the Korean War

A North Korean guard handed Sgt. Berry F. Rhoden, a POW, a card which read:


“You are about to die the most horrible kind of death.”

The guard then shot Rhoden in the back. These are the kinds of stories collected by Michigan Senator Charles E. Potter after the Korean War ended. Potter documented more than 1,800 atrocities committed by the Communists against civilian populations and UN military personnel during the Korean War.

The 1954 Potter Report is more than 200 pages of testimony from Korean War veterans and massacre survivors before Congress. Sgt. Rhoden was one of just a few of those survivors.

 

When the Korean War started, victory was far but assured. The North Korean attack on June 25, 1950 took the U.S. and South Korea by complete surprise, and the Communists were able to make large gains in a very short amount of time.

The battle lines swung as wildly as the momentum of the war itself before grinding into months of stalemate as the two sides haggled at the negotiating table. Every time the pendulum shifted, more American and UN forces were captured by the North Korean and Chinese forces.  The first reports of enemy atrocities filtered into the UN headquarters as early as two days after the invasion started.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
U.S. Soldiers being marched by North Koreans (Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency photo)

Related: This US Army sergeant started the Korean War by selling out to the Soviets

The report found the Communist forces in Korea “flagrantly violated virtually every provision of the Geneva Convention” as well as Article 6 of the Nuremberg Tribunal Charter. It also lists the abuses American and UN POWs suffered at the hands of the North Koreans:

“American prisoners of war who were not deliberately murdered at the time of capture or shortly after capture, were beaten, wounded, starved, and tortured; molested, displayed, and humiliated before the civilian populace and/or forced to march long distances without benefit of adequate food, water, shelter, clothing, or medical care to Communist prison camps, and there to experience further acts of human indignities.”

On top of the numerous forced marches and torture, seven Korean War Massacres stand out as egregious examples of the systematic, inhumane treatment of POWs at the hands of Communist forces. According to the Potter Report, as of June 1953, the estimated number of American POWs who died from enemy war crimes was 6,113. The total number of UN forces who were victims ranged between 11,662 – 20,785.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
U.S. troops in a North Korean POW camp (U.S. Army photo)

1. The Hill 303 Massacre

On August 14, 1950, 26 U.S. troops were caught by surprise and captured by North Koreans. Their hands were bound and their boots were stolen by their captors. The next day, more American POWs joined the group, bringing their number to 45.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Hill 303 Massacre survivors Cpl. James Rudd and Cpl. Roy Day, respectively. (U.S. Army photo)

The prisoners were led to a ravine where they were all shot with their hands still tied. Only 4 survived. Cpl. Roy Manring, Jr. gave his testimony before the commission:

“They come by and they started kicking and you could hear the fellows hollering, grunting, groaning, and praying, and when they kicked me they kicked my leg and I made a grunting sound and that’s when I caught it in the gut, got shot in the gut at the time.”

2. The Sunchon Tunnel Massacre

In October 1950, UN troops were approaching Pyongyang when 180 U.S. prisoners were loaded onto rail cars and moved north. The men had already survived the Seoul-Pyongyang Death March and were starving, dehydrated, and wounded. The ride north exposed them to the elements for five days when they were unloaded near the Sunchon Tunnel. The North Koreans led the men to a ravine and shot them to pieces. 138 died from the shooting, starvation, and disease after being left there.

Pvt. 1st Class John Martin, one of the survivors, gave his account of the incident:

“We went around the corner, into this ditch. They said, “Get down; the planes. Get down; the planes. So when we all ducked down some more of them came up on us over a little rice paddy and they just opened up.”

3. The Taejon Massacre

On September 27, 1950, 60 U.S. prisoners of war held in the Taejon prison were bound by their hands and taken to the prison yard. As the sat in shallow ditches, the North Korean guards shot them at point blank range with an American M-1 rifle. Only one survivor lived to tell the story.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Civilians killed by the North Korean People’s Army forces Identify bodies. October 1950 (U.S. Army photo)

Sgt. Carey Weinel told Congress about the slaughter of the Americans but also told them about the 5,000 – 7,000 Korean civilians and South Korean soldiers who also died at Taejon. Weinel allowed himself to be buried alive to escape the massacre.

“As I say, I was shot around 5 o’clock in the morning, and I stayed in the ditch until that eveninq, until what time it was dark. I woula say approximately 8 hours, 8 or 7 hours. “

4. The Bamboo Spear Case

Five airmen in a truck convoy were ambushed by North Korean troops in December 1950. Their bodies were found by a South Korean patrol, punctured with 20 different stab wounds from heated bamboo sticks. None of the wounds were fatal by themselves.

Lt. Col. James Rogers of the Army Medical Corps testified before Congress that the five airmen were tortured and then murdered.

“After torturing them with the superficial wounds they then bayoneted them with the same instruments and these fellows mere allowed to bleed to death. “

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Kim Il-Sung, President of North Korea in 1950. (KCNA photo)

5. The Naedae Murders

Near a Communist propaganda bulletin board that accused the UN of committing atrocities against Koreans, 12 American soldiers were imprisoned in a hut and then shot by North Korean troops. Five were able to survive by faking their own deaths.

Cpl. Frederick Herrmann survived the October 1950 murders and told the Potter commission about the surprise shooting:

“I heard the first shot go off and this fellow sitting right across directly from me was hit and he fell forward. When he fell forward.  I just spun around and stuck my head under the desk. While I was laying there playing dead, I heard all kinds of shots. Pretty soon I felt somebody kick me. I got shot in the leg. I still played dead…”

6. The Chaplain-Medic Massacre

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
U.S. Marines engaged in street fighting during the liberation of Seoul, circa late September 1950. (DoD photo)

In July 1950, just after the North Korean invasion that started the Korean War, the Communists surprised 20 gravely wounded U.S. soldiers and their attendants. Attending the wounded was a regimental surgeon wearing the red cross armband and a non-combatant Christian chaplain. The chaplain was slaughtered with the injured troops, but the surgeon, Capt. Linton J. Buttrey, was the sole survivor.

Senator Potter: He was administering the last rites to the patient, to a patient on a litter?

Captain Buttrey: Yes.

Senator Potter: And how did they kill him?

Captain Buttrey: He was shot in the back, sir.

7. The Kaesong Massacre

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Artillery of the North Korean People’s Army ca 1950 (KCNA photo)

Just north of what we today call the Demilitarized Zone, 13 American soldiers were captured by North Koreans near the city of Kaesong in November 1950. They were stripped of all their possessions and imprisoned in a small hut. After 3 hours, they were marched out of the hut for two miles, thinking they were headed to a POW camp. The men were then shot from behind without warning.

There was one survivor, Cpl. William Milano, who told his story to Congress.

“I heard the bolt go back and as I heard the bolt, I turned around to see what it was, and he fired. He hit me through the right hand and it threw me up against the hill. As it did, blood either squirted on me, or blood squirted on my face. He took another shot and it skidded off my left leg and took a piece of flesh away. The third hit me high and I felt the dirt. They were still firing on the other men. About 5 minutes later all the firing stopped.”

In all, the war crimes perpetrated by the Communist forces left “several thousand” unrepatriated Americans wounded, killed in action, or otherwise left confined behind the Iron Curtain.

Lists

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

Blue falcons are a fixture of military life. Typically, they satisfy themselves with ratting other troops out for minor offenses or being overly strict on physical training tests. Some blue falcons take the art form to a whole other level, affecting full military operations or giving away needed equipment. Here are seven instances of blue falconism that literally made history.


1. One Confederate general routinely trolls another by sending away troops during key engagements.

 

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: US Naval Historical Center

Lt. Gen. Edmund Smith was in charge of Confederate troops in Louisiana, Arkansas, and some of the surrounding area. He was much more cautious than a politically connected general under his command, Lt. Gen. Richard Taylor. The two butted heads and Smith would routinely take troops away from Taylor just before Taylor committed forces to seize an objective.

The worst example was in the Spring of 1864. The Union Army was moving up the Red River in Louisiana, taking territory and confiscating cotton. Taylor saw the stretched Union forces and sent his troops south to attack their weak points, ignoring orders from Smith to fall back to Shreveport.

Taylor’s advance was successful, defeating Union forces at Mansfield and Pleasant Hill before pinning them in at Alexandria. Everything was in position for Smith and Taylor to defeat the remaining enemy forces in the region. Instead Smith ordered most of Taylor’s army away, allowing 30,000 Union soldiers to escape. These troops would link up with Gen. William Sherman during his march to the sea at the end of that year.

2. George Washington tricks Congress into drastically overpaying him.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Washington famously denied a salary as commanding general of the Continental Army, telling Congress that he would do the job if America would just cover his expenses. Not so famously, he then promptly racked up a bill of expenses worth nearly $450,000, over 28 times what a major general would have made in the same period. He even staged a massive birthday bash while his army was starving in the snow. (In Washington’s defense on this count, he was trying to get food from local sources for the men.)

Of course, some of the other generals were fine with this since they dined with Washington. His close friends tipped the scales at war’s end at over 200 pounds each. Gen. Henry Knox led the way at 280. Washington himself gained 30 pounds.

3. Eisenhower’s chief of staff places a losing $230,000 bet on his boss’s behalf without permission.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

After Operation Torch drastically increased the number of Allied forces in North Africa, Allied generals Bernard Montgomery and George Patton were racing each other to take key cities from the Germans. Eisenhower was still pressuring them to go faster and his chief of staff visited Montgomery at his headquarters. There, Montgomery asked if he could get a B-17 if he took Sfax quickly. Maj. Gen. Walter Bedell Smith told him that Eisenhower would give Montgomery whatever he wanted if he took Sfax by April 15.

Smith reportedly thought it was a joke. but Montgomery was famous for his gambling so this was a reckless assumption. Montgomery took the city on April 10 and immediately began demanding payment from the confused Eisenhower who was just learning of the wager. Eisenhower was screwed by Smith’s promise and gave up the bomber. But, Montgomery was being a bit of a blue falcon himself by demanding payment. It soured relations between him and Eisenhower and Montgomery’s boss would go on to berate Montgomery for the “crass stupidity” of his actions.

4. MacArthur continues to attack U.S. veterans even after ordered by the president to stop.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

In 1924, Congress put together a bonus package for veterans of World War I to be paid in 1945. When the Great Depression throttled the economy, veterans got antsy for the money. 15,000 of them descended on Washington, D.C. in 1932 to demand early payment. A bill to pay out early passed the House but was soundly defeated in the Senate in a 62 to 18 vote.

The veterans continued to camp and march in the city until July 28 when the police tried to force them out. The police failed to take the camp but killed two veterans in the attempt. President Herbert Hoover then ordered the Army to evict the veterans. Gen. Douglas MacArthur and his chief of staff, Maj. Dwight D. Eisenhower, worked with cavalry commander Maj. George Patton to push the marchers and campers across the Anacostia River.

Hoover ordered the Army to halt the advance, but MacArthur pushed his force forwards anyway and attacked until a fire broke out. All 10,000 people in the main camp were pushed out and two babies died. Local hospitals were overwhelmed with the injured from the camps.

5. The Continental Army gets together to blue falcon Benedict Arnold.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Thomas Hart

Maj. Gen. Benedict Arnold was, by all accounts, an outstanding general for most of his time in American service. He won a bloodless victory at Fort Ticonderoga, got France to openly support the Americans through his victory at the Battle of Saratoga, and even once won a decisive naval battle. Throughout all this, he endured multiple wounds for his country.

The whole time though, he was being passed over for promotion due to the political connections of other generals. Also, while Arnold was clinging to life in a New York hospital bed, his boss claimed credit for a surrender that belonged to Arnold. When Arnold complained to Congress that veterans and their families weren’t being fairly treated, he was brought up on charges. A court martial acquitted him of most, but he was found guilty of two counts of dereliction of duty.

6. Benedict Arnold returns the favor by screwing over America.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Of course, Arnold’s response to this treatment set the bar for blue falcons and set it high. Arnold continued correspondence with his friend George Washington, leveraging him for appointments and preferential treatment. Meanwhile, Arnold was preparing to hand as much as he could to the enemy through British Maj. John Andre. Washington gave Arnold command of the forces at West Point, key to the defense of New York.

Arnold promptly tried to sell the fort to Andre for about $3 million in modern dollars, but the plot was discovered. Washington was personally embarrassed, the Army was shaken by the turning of a key general, and much of Arnold’s history was erased from U.S. records. Still, Arnold did get away and join the British Army as a general.

7. Bowe Bergdahl triggers massive searches.

The exact nature of what happened in the desert will probably be known to no one but Bergdahl himself. But even if Bergdahl did just want to walk away from the war and didn’t give any information to the Taliban after his capture, he was still a blue falcon in the eyes of his fellow soldiers.

His departure caused his unit to have to go on increased patrols and missions that soldiers died on. Every operation after that had to include the additional objective of “see if you can find Bergdahl” no matter what the primary objective was. Resources needed in other fights were sent to that patch of desert to search for him.

Sure, he would’ve been hazed a little if he had refused to fight and claimed conscientious objector status, but that’s still preferable to capture by the Taliban, years of imprisonment, and putting your unit in greater danger.

NOW: 11 spies who did the worst damage to the US military

OR: That one time the Army drugged three soldiers and locked them in a room

Lists

The 11 stages of leaving the Navy

The decision to get out of the Navy can be just as tough as the decision to join.


Everyone’s exit experience is different, but they all have these basic elements in common:

1. It all starts with a thought.

It sure would be nice to come and go as I pleased without having to worry about liberty restrictions. *Sigh* What a fantasy.

2. You begin to research life outside of the Navy.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Communication Specialist 3rd Class K. Ashley Lawrence/USN

Some Navy jobs transfer easily into the civilian world, maybe even with higher pay. Some of your training even counts for school credit. (The key word here is “some.”)

3. You tell a friend.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Gary Nichols/USN

 

4. The word gets out.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Gary Nichols/USN

Some of your friends will think you’re stupid while others will wish they had the courage to join you in facing the insecurities of civilian life.

5. You get the CMC talk.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Michael Achterling/USN

This is the retention talk. The CMC will paint a picture of doom and gloom of life without the support of the Navy. It’s his job; he’s protecting the Navy’s investment. It costs a lot to train, feed, and house a sailor.

6. You make it official.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Damian Berg/USN

This is a big deal. It’s just as nerve-racking as signing your enlistment contract. “Come to me, DD-214.”

7. You celebrate.

You live up to the Navy song (Anchors Aweigh) and drink to the foam while partying one last time with shipmates — the best friends you’ve ever had.

8. You disappoint the CMC.

The CMC feels like he failed you and the Navy.

9. The feeling you get when you’re finally out.

All this time you were providing freedom and now you know what it feels like. You will never take it for granted again.

10. You become the token military guy.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe
Photo: Ranger Up YouTube screen grab

 

You become the unofficial spokesperson for all veterans. No matter what branch of the military you were in, you’ll get the questions. You’re now the expert in all things military, you know all the ranks in every branch, every custom, every piece of gear, every operation, etc. Our friends at Ranger Up made a video about this. Check it out.

11. You miss it.

After a few years, maybe even a few months, you begin to miss it. You miss the adventure, the awesome stuff you got to do, and most of all, the camaraderie. Congratulations, you experienced what one percent of America gets to do. When they say, “thank you for your service,” you can reply, “thank you for funding it.”

NOW: 9 tips for ‘skating’ in the Navy

AND: 9 things new chief petty officers do when they put on the khakis

OR: See what life is like on a US Navy carrier:

Articles

Here’s The Hilarious Result Of Mashing Up Left Shark With Famous Military Quotes

We all know by now that Left Shark was the big hit of the big Super Bowl game, but he’s also pretty influential in military circles.


Well, at least he should be. Check out these famous military quotes with the infamous Gen. Left Shark, the hero we need and deserve.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Gen. James “Mad Shark” Mattis is not afraid to fail, whether behind Katy Perry or in front of Marines.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

You shouldn’t be bummed just because you’re decisively engaged. Smile as you practice your marksmanship.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. reminded Katy Perry and Right Shark that if they can’t lead properly, Left Shark will make it’s own choreography.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Sure, there are plenty of dancers on the stage. But only one is Greek Left Shark Hericlitus.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Mad Shark Mattis reminds his enemies that, yes, he wants peace, but he has endless teeth to destroy those who don’t.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Sgt. Left Shark wants good morale, and he will have it by any means necessary.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Gen. Left Shark Patton Jr. knows how you win wars.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Gen. Left Shark Sherman brought great destruction across the South during the Civil War. When protests reached him, he was unapologetic.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

Sgt. Maj. Dan Left Shark Daly might be able to live forever, but he doesn’t see any reason to.

8 military acronyms that will make you cringe

General Douglas Left Shark McArthur never went in for ball point pens when firings pins were an option.

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