Some acronyms are okay. SitRep is a quicker way saying Situation Report. PBKAC is a polite way for S6 to say that there isn’t an issue, there’s a Problem Between Keyboard And Chair. And FNG is so universally known and accepted by everyone except the F*cking New Guys themselves.
Some are actually cool. Usually they’re mnemonics that make something seem more impressive. Downed Aircraft Recovery Teams are cool and saying, “I have to go on a DART mission” sounds cooler somehow. Telling people “I can’t tell you that. It would violate OpSec” is a million times more thrilling than saying, “I sat by the radios in the COC for nine hours at a time.”
The following acronyms are just dumb.
Some are dumb because hearing them out loud just sounds dumb or the people saying them always have a dumb look on their face when they say them.
This isn’t an all encompassing list. Let us know in the comment section your more hated acronyms, and in the meantime, enjoy:
1. COC: Combat Operations Center
There’s a good reason troops say each letter in this one. Still brings a little joy to my heart when I read a sign saying “Only E6 and above in the COC.”
2. FARP: Forward Arming and Refueling Point
On paper, this sounds like an intense place. A small aviation unit holding their own to ensure that helicopter pilots can keep kicking ass in the battlefield is awesome. Too bad whenever you say the name out loud it sounds like, well, you know.
3. CAC: Common Access Card
Two reasons this made the list:
First off, it sounds like you’re from Boston whenever you have to “flash your CAC at the gate guard.”
The other is because of the amount of people who say “CAC Card.” It’s as redundant as ATM machine and PIN number.
4. BOHICA: Bend over, Here it comes again!
Context is everything. If you say it under your breath to your bro when you find out you have duty on a holiday or you have to layout another connex (shipping container). It’s fine. Saying to your subordinates, it’s creepy, but fine. Randomly throwing it into conversation, like it does nine times out of ten, just makes no sense.
5. IYAAYAS: If You Ain’t Ammo, You Ain’t Shit
How do you know if someone was Air Force weapons load crew? Don’t worry. They’ll tell you.
To be fair; it’s still a pretty cool MOS and the fourth coolest in the Air Force — behind JTACs, Pararescue, and, you know, the pilots everyone associates the Air Force with…
6. PPPPPPP or 7 P’s: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
This just makes no sense. It sounds like someone came up with 5 P’s, said “I think I can add another. Let’s add prior!” Then someone else said “Hey battle. Want to know what would look better on your NCOER? 7 P’s,” and then struggled, gave up, and added “piss” into it.
7. Roger, WILCO: Received, will comply
What works while talking over a radio makes you look like a tool in a face-to-face conversation. “Roger, Sir/Ma’am/Sergeant” is good enough. No need to be high speed.
8. Any variation of “Hey, do you know what [Whatever branch of service] stands for?”
‘U’ Sure Are F*cked, Uncle Sam Ain’t Released Me Yet, Never Again Volunteer Yourself, and ‘U’ Signed the Mother f*cking Contract.
It’s the same joke, told by someone who just heard it, telling it to someone who heard it a million times before. It was probably funny the first time but not any more.