This is why there are four musketeers in every 'Three Musketeers' movie - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

It never fails. You sit down to watch a “Three Musketeers” movie or TV show and you’re quickly introduced to Athos, Porthos, and Aramis…and also D’Artagnan.


Not one of the movies ever takes the time to explain why the Three Musketeers blatantly features four musketeers.

But first, a little about the French Musketeers: Musketeers were actually a common European military unit, known for carrying, well, muskets. In France, they were a little more serious than that. Their full name was “Musketeers of the Guard” and the unit was created by King Louis XIII when he purchased muskets for a unit of light cavalry.

And of course, swords.

The Musketeers became the Royal bodyguard but also fought in France’s wars. they were like the Secret Service, if the Secret Service had a special operations unit that worked in frontline combat.

Back to the four musketeers.

French author Alexandre Dumas’ epic takes place in the 1620s and follows a young man named D’Artagnan who has just left his home to go to Paris and join the Musketeers of the Guard. The young man meets and befriends “The Inseparables,” a trio of Musketeers named Athos, Porthos, and Aramis.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

The barracks party with these three must have been off le chaîne.

D’Artagnan does not actually become a Musketeer of the Guard until two-thirds through the book. Since the story is from D’Artagnan’s point of view and he’s not yet a Musketeer, it would be a very early version of stolen valor on the young man’s part to call himself one.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie
Good on you, D’Artagnan.

If you read the book or watch the movie and just can’t get enough D’Artagnan, I have good news for you. The character was based on a real person, Charles de Batz-Castelmore d’Artagnan.

Dumas continues his adventures in “The Vicomte de Bragelonne: Ten Years Later” and “Twenty Years After.”

Watch more Elite Forces:

This is how piracy became totally legal during wartime

This is how Rome’s Praetorian Guard held so much power

This is why the rituals of the tattooed Maori Warriors live on

This is why Cossacks are Russia’s legendary fighting force

These are the slave soldiers that defeated the Mongols

4 awesome facts about Shaolin Kung Fu

MIGHTY MOVIES

How to stay safe from all the ‘Rise of Skywalker’ spoilers out there

It’s all fun and games to speculate about an “Avengers” movie or a “Star Wars” movie months and months before those films hit theaters, but when you’re less than two months away from an actual release, less is certainly more. And now, after the release of the epic final trailer for “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” certain new photographs have been circulating around the less-than-scrupulous parts of the internet and they totally spoil a big twist at the end of the film.


I’m just going to give it to you straight: I have seen these photos. I wish I had not. I know now something that is going to happen in the film, which is really f*cking cool, but that I wish I could have experienced in the theater. This is not the same as reading a plot leak on Reddit. I saw two photos that were really amazing, and there’s every reason to believe they are real. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE THESE PHOTOS. TRUST ME.

So, just like when footage leaked from “Avengers: Endgame,” now is the time to get into Star Wars lockdown mode. Here’s my guide for avoiding this stuff.

  1. Don’t Google “Star Wars spoilers” or “Star Wars Leaks”
  2. Avoid articles that mention “leaked photos” from The Rise of Skywalker.
  3. Stay off Reddit
  4. No really, stay off Reddit
  5. Stay off publications that are less than reputable.
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker | Final Trailer

www.youtube.com

What do I mean about that last one? Well, as someone who has written about Star Wars for a long time, I can tell you that websites like Entertainment Weekly, Inverse, Vulture, and Den of Geek, are not going to post these leaked photos. That’s because, like Fatherly, there are real journalists working there. (Full disclosure, I’ve worked for more than half of those publications.) So, if you’re seeing an article about “The Rise of Skywalker” on some website you’ve never heard of, and it’s promising to tell you all the secrets of the movie, don’t click! Or, you know, click if you want, but be ready to have the movie spoiled for you. Stick to the publications you’ve heard of. They will play by the rules!

Let me tell you a little story to further reinforce why this is important. Back in 2002, I was about to turn 21-years-old, and “Attack of the Clones” was about to hit theaters that May. I was working at a bookstore called Brentano’s (they were briefly part of Waldenbooks, which at that time was part of Borders.) Well, guess what, we got all the “Attack of the Clones” books in early, and that meant, sitting in the stock room of the bookstore, behind closed doors, I was able to 100 percent know that Yoda fought with a lightsaber in the final moments of the movie. This literally ruined one of the biggest surprises of the movie for me. I’m still not over it. Let 21-year-old-me be a lesson to you all.

Because now, as a 38-year-old man, I have clearly not learned my lesson. Don’t make the same mistake. Hardcore spoilers are the path to the Dark Side. Resist!

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Kevin Nash says ‘Magic Mike XXL’ cast reminds him of his Army squad


Kevin Nash went to the University of Tennessee for one reason: to play basketball, and for three years that’s pretty much what he did. Nash played center, and as a junior he helped the team advance to the Sweet 16 round of the NCAA tournament. But one physical altercation with legendary coach Don Devoe later, he was gone. Who knew he would end up in Magic Mike?

Nash made his way to Europe to play professionally, but during a game in Germany he injured his anterior cruciate ligament, which immediately ended his basketball career. Out of any better ideas, he decided to try something he’d always wanted to do: He joined the Army.

After going through basic at Fort McClellan, Nash wound up assigned to the 202nd Military Police Company in Giessen, Germany and served in a secure NATO facility for two years.

“I enjoyed the life,” Nash said. “I was forced to be disciplined, and that was something I’d lacked to that point to a certain degree.”

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie
Nash hanging with Army buds in Germany circa ’82.

During his three years of military service, Kevin Nash rose to the rank of specialist.

“I liked it so much I thought about going to be a drill instructor,” he said. But ultimately he decided not to reenlist. Family matters – including his father’s failing health – took him back to his hometown of Detroit. After working on the assembly line at Ford Motor Company for a while, he decided to enter the world of professional wrestling.

Nash debuted in WCW as the orange-mohawked “Steel”, one half of the tag team known as the “Master Blasters.” His success right out of the gate was followed by more, adopting different personas and adjusting to changes in the organizations around him. He went from “Steel” to “Oz” to “Vinne Vegas” to “Diesel” before going back to his real name.

“The secret to being a pro wrestler, besides having physical abilities, is to pick a good personality,” Nash said. “The closer it is to you the better.”

And as he changed names he went from WCW to WWF and back again a few times before joining the WWE and, finally, signing on with Global Force Wrestling as a “legend” to help promote events and tours.  In the process he became one of the industry’s most popular wrestlers. His career culminated with him being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as part of the Class of 2015.

Nash also has a host of acting credits on his resume. Beside appearing in movies and on TV, his voice has been used in video games and cartoons. Last year he appeared in “John Wick” with Keanu Reeves, and this year he reprises his role as Tarzan in “Magic Mike XXL.”

“Of all the things I’ve done, the ‘Magic Mike’ series most resembles the comradery of Army life,” Nash said. “Working with the other guys reminds me of being in a squad.” The producers even had the cast do weapons training together as a team-building exercise.

“Magic Mike XXL” was filmed in Savannah, Georgia, which worked out well for Nash as he now makes his home in Daytona, Florida. “Besides, I like to spend as little time as possible in L.A.,” he added.

Nash is happy with the results in the sequel. “It’s better than the first one,” Kevin Nash said. “There’s a lot more going on. It’s more of a road trip and not just hanging in the club.”

“Magic Mike XXL”  is available to rent here: 

Now: This 1970 training video shows how the Army used to be like ‘Mad Men’

MIGHTY MOVIES

5 big reasons why veterans might love the ‘Magnum P.I.’ reboot

Over the past eight years, we’ve seen two reboots of some of our favorite T.V. shows from the last century: Hawaii Five-O and MacGyver. In September of this year, we’re getting another, Magnum, P.I., and we think the veteran community is going to appreciate it, just like they did the original, which ran from 1980 to 1988.

Unfortunately, this time around, it looks like we’re going to enjoy less mustache.


For those who need a quick refresher before they jump back into the world of Thomas Magnum IV in September, the show follows a former Navy SEAL turned private investigator as he lives the good life on the island of Oahu, Hawai’i. As he solves his cases, he’s assisted by his friends Orville “Rick” Wright and Theodore “TC” Calvin, both of whom are former U.S. Marines.

The fact that all of the central characters are veterans is almost reason enough to be exciting, but after getting a sneak peek at the pilot during 2018 Comic-Con International: San Diego, we’re even more excited.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

This reboot allows people to see the true, human side of all of us.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by James H. Frank)

It depicts combat veterans in a positive light

All too often, veterans are made to look like violence-hungry, damaged goods. Much like the original, the intent of the show is to depict veterans in a more human way. We’ve gotten a lot better at doing this over the years, but we’re not quite there yet. Magnum P.I. is going to give us a story that revolves around veterans. It’ll showcase the characteristics that make us veterans, without all of the unnecessary drama.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

You’ll love it, trust us.

(CBS Television)

There’s plenty of action

Based on the pilot alone, we can be certain thatthe stories will featureaction throughout. Get ready for a show that deliverstons of high-octane excitementwithout too much overt cheesiness.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

Just like the original — minus the sweet ‘stache.

(CBS Television)

The main characters are veterans

As mentioned above, the Thomas Magnum and his friends are all veterans — and they show it. More than just simply talking about their service, the characters act and carry themselves in a way that genuinely feels like they are who they claim to be. The Marines have attitudes that are very reflective of real Marines.

Chances are, if you’re not already a fan of the original, you didn’t know it featured so many veterans. That’s because the show isn’t trying to use it as a selling point, but rather as a real, authentic-feeling character trait.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

The dogs are actually a really funny piece of the show.

(CBS Television)

It’s going to be hilarious

With so many veteran characters, you can expect a hefty dose of witty banter. There’re plenty of light moments that provide an opportunity to laugh, whether it’s the veterans talking trash or Magnum getting chased by Doberman Pinschers.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

Don’t worry, there’re plenty more where that one came from.

(CBS Television)

The Ferraris

Although modern, the reboot intends to keep with the original feel from the 1980s series. As such, they’re keeping the Ferraris.

But if you’re a car enthusiast with a particular fondness for Ferrarris, be prepared to watch a few get destroyed.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Charlie’s Angels vs Hobbs & Shaw

The new Charlie’s Angels trailer dropped today. Written and directed by Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games), who will also star as the timeless ‘Bosley’ character, the film stars Kristen Stewart (Snow White and the Huntsman), Naomi Scott (Aladdin), and Ella Balinska (Run Sweetheart Run) as the three angels.

After recently writing about the Hobbs & Shaw trailer, I couldn’t help but notice how different the advertising is for female-driven and male-driven films.

Watch below and see if you can catch it yourself:


CHARLIE’S ANGELS – Official Trailer (HD)

www.youtube.com

CHARLIE’S ANGELS – Official Trailer (HD)

“We’re gonna need a wig, toys, clothes,” said no one in a male-driven action story ever.

Now, here’s the Hobbs Shaw trailer:

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw – Official Trailer [HD]

www.youtube.com

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw – Official Trailer

“We’re gonna need the best trackers in the business. We’re gonna need to operate outside of the system,” said an operative with more substantial priorities.

If you had to boil down these two trailers, this is what they’re communicating about their films:

Charlie’s Angels: Fun, pretty girls fight bad guys.

Hobbs Shaw: Strong, funny men fight bad guys.

The comparison between these two trailers highlights a subversive social construct: in order for men to be heroes, they need to be strong (a feature that can be developed through will and dedication); in order for women to be heroes, they need to be beautiful (something outside of their control without painful surgery, or, I guess, wigs, toys, and clothes?).

Related: The ‘Hobbs Shaw’ trailer is perfect — don’t at me

I will at least acknowledge that the 2019 Charlie’s Angels description has been improved since the 2000 one:

2000: They’re beautiful, they’re brilliant, and they work for Charlie. In a smart, sexy update of the 70’s TV show from celebrated music video director McG. CHARLIE’S ANGELS revolves around three female detectives as intelligent and multi-talented as they are ravishingly gorgeous and utterly disarming.

(WE GET IT. YOU’D BONE THEM. CALM DOWN.)

2019: In Banks’ bold vision, Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, and Ella Balinska are working for the mysterious Charles Townsend, whose security and investigative agency has expanded internationally. With the world’s smartest, bravest, and most highly trained women all over the globe, there are now teams of Angels guided by multiple Bosleys taking on the toughest jobs everywhere.

Now here’s the description for Hobbs Shaw:

Ever since hulking lawman Hobbs (Johnson), a loyal agent of America’s Diplomatic Security Service, and lawless outcast Shaw (Statham), a former British military elite operative, first faced off in 2015’s Furious 7, the duo have swapped smack talk and body blows as they’ve tried to take each other down.

But when cyber-genetically enhanced anarchist Brixton (Idris Elba) gains control of an insidious bio-threat that could alter humanity forever — and bests a brilliant and fearless rogue MI6 agent (The Crown’s Vanessa Kirby), who just happens to be Shaw’s sister — these two sworn enemies will have to partner up to bring down the only guy who might be badder than themselves.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

Just imagine if The Rock were on a super secret mission that involved coordinated dancing.

These are meant to be fun tentpole films, but stories have always impacted society and culture. These two films clearly have different target demographics, but they each seem to be straying from the path of the hero’s journey against evil. They stray in completely different, but I’d argue equally concerning, directions: for girls, it’s that excessive beauty is the answer to our problems and for men, it’s excessive violence.

What do you think? Are these films saying something about our society or are they just here to show us a good time? Leave a comment and keep the conversation going.

Articles

This movie about an Iraq War troop based on an acclaimed book is a surefire Oscar contender

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie


It’s never too early to start up Oscar talk, and after watching the trailer for “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk,” you’ll know what I mean.

Director Ang Lee’s (“Life of Pi,” “Brokeback Mountain”) latest movie looks at the victory tour of 19-year-old soldier Billy Lynn after an intense tour in Iraq. The film shows what really happened over there through flashbacks and contrasts that with the perception of Billy and his squad back home.

It’s based on the universally praised 2012 novel of the same name by Ben Fountain, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction. For that and Ang Lee’s name alone, it’s sure to get a lot of attention.

Shot in 3D, the movie is certain to be visually stunning. But it also looks like it has the emotional weight to carry it to award season.

The film stars Kristen Stewart, Chris Tucker, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin, and newcomer Joe Alwyn as Billy Lynn.

Watch the trailer below. The movie opens in November.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Here’s when the last Stan Lee cameo will happen

Fans now have one more reason to be excited for the upcoming release of Avengers: Endgame. According to the film’s director, the fourth flick will feature Stan Lee’s final cameo in a Marvel movie.

“It’s his last one committed to film,” Joe Russo told Mashable at a press day in Los Angeles, squelching the rumor that had been going around that Lee’s final appearance would be in July 2019’s Spider-Man: Far From Home.


Russo went on to add, “I have to say, I think it’s astonishing that this would be his last cameo. It’s just kind of mind-boggling that he made it to the end of this run. I can’t believe it.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ttyvv6X4_Y
EVERY STAN LEE CAMEO EVER (1989-2018)

www.youtube.com

Since Iron Man in 2008, the comic book legend, who passed away in 2018 at the age of 95, has found his way into every installment of the Marvel franchise, even after his death. His most recent cameo was in Captain Marvel, which came out in March 2019. In the brief clip, Lee plays himself as a passenger on a train, rehearsing lines from a script.

And while the upcoming film will be the last time viewers get to see Lee on-screen, some wonder whether the Avengers movie will contain more than one cameo due to its three-hour length. After all, at just over two hours long, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2had not one but two appearances from Lee.

Regardless, fans of the superhero series don’t have to wait much longer to find out. Avengers: Endgames is set to be released in theaters nationwide on April 26 2019.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

Articles

12 amazing trick shots to show off at the gun range

Let’s be honest, punching paper at the range is boring.


If the RO is a hardass, it’s standard targets, a second between shots and no movement or draws.

But when you get out to the wilds and can really stretch out  your irons, it’s a perfect time for a little trickery.

These 12 trick shots performed by the crew at Dude Perfect take some serious skill to ace. If you’ve got a range where you can shoot props, stick to the four rules, and give ’em a whirl.

1. The Rainbow Six kick shot

This is more of a physics problem than anything else, but nailing a three-point shot with help from the butt end of a scattergun is kinda rad.

via GIPHYNot sure if I’d want to heft a basketball hoop into the backcountry for that one though.

2. Splitting the bullet

First of all, rocking a Kriss Vector with a can is badass enough, but splitting those 230 grains of .45 ACP ballistic goodness on the edge of an axe? Now that’s taking it to a whole new level of awesomeness.

via GIPHYOk, so how many takes for this one?

3. Flying drone target

Who doesn’t love drones bro? Who doesn’t hate the idea of one snooping on you? This is one all “people of the gun” should embed firmly into their muscle memory for the day when the government goons come to take our pieces.

via GIPHYJust don’t try it on that $1,000 DJI Phantom.

4. Firepower versus fruit

It’s the bread and butter shot of folks like FPSRussia and the Fruit Assassin, but who doesn’t like seeing the pulp fly with a little 30-06 fun through a watermelon?

via GIPHY 

The key is to use the right ammo and put it square in the sweet spot (pun intended) to get the most out of the terminal ballistics.

Smoothie anyone?

5. Tapping it in

Now this is right up the alley of people like Jerry Miculek and Rob Leatham who make a living plinking poppers and swingers. But man is this a ninja shot for a pistol at this distance.

via GIPHY 

He shoots, he scores!

6. Upside down bottle blaster

This is one we’ve seen a million times pulled off by our great friend over at Hickock45. How many bottles of soda has that guy splattered all over his field of steel?

via GIPHY 

But still, shot placement is key here — get it right in the sweet spot and you’re go for throttle up.

7. The blind shot

OK, now this one gives us a case of the heebie jeebies since we’re technically violating one of the four rules of firearm safety here (“know your target and what’s beyond”). But it’s such a radical shot that no tactard out there could admit to not wanting to try at some point on their ballistic bucket list.

via GIPHY 

My question is how did the shooter know where to aim?

8. Big boom battle

Ahhh, the sweet sound of Tannerite.

Few substances have done more to sex up the art of backyard plinking than the mix-and-go explosive fun of Tannerite. I mean, you can buy buckets of it at Walmart so why not race your friends to blow up buckets of it?

via GIPHY 

And we like the fact that the bolt gunner smoked the competition here.

9. Fog blaster

We’re not sure what’s so tricky about this one, but like the “splitting bullet” shot, it’s kind of all about the blaster. And pairing a .50 caliber SASR with a bucket of Tannerite? That’s like washing down a dry aged Strassburger ribeye with a 1947 Cheval Blanc.

via GIPHY 

Big bullets + big explosions = big fun!

10. Upside down shot

Now we’re operating operationally.

via GIPHY 

Get your SAS on with this upside down pistol shot on abseil. Feels like something out of a London embassy siege, doesn’t it?

11. The selfie shot

Now we’re really impressed with this one.

via GIPHYIt looks like a hand-me-down .22 with iron sights. Could there be some ballistic app running in the background there?

Not sure, but this is one we’re definitely going to try the next time the RO isn’t breathing down our necks.

12. Rainbow Six half mile shot

At the end of the day, making long shots is impressive in its own right. And while stretching it out to about 900 yards isn’t totally, wickedly difficult, dropping a b-ball into the hoop by popping a balloon at 900 yards is kinda darn awesome.

via GIPHYBe sure to watch the entire Dude Perfect trick shot video for more gun fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS0uPxZXI5Y
MIGHTY MOVIES

You can get paid $1000 to marathon every Marvel film

Counting Captain Marvel, there are 21 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And, if you’re planning on binging every single movie (sans Captain Marvel) at home before Avengers: Endgame hits theaters, there’s no a chance to make a little cash on the side. CableTV.com is paying one fan to watch all 20 films back-to-back. (Sadly, Captain Marvel is not yet available on Blu-ray so it isn’t part of the promotion.)

Starting with Iron Man, and going all the way through Ant-Man and the Wasp, a solid binge of these 20 films can earn you $1000 bucks. (Which, if we’re being honest, actually seems low?)


Anyway, whoever takes on this challenge will not only receive id=”listicle-2632762462″,000 in cash, but also every MCU film on Blu-ray, and a bunch of Marvel stuff to make your binge-watching experience comfortable, including a Captain America popcorn popper, a Thanos Infinity Gauntlet mug, and an Iron Man snuggie.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

(Disney)

CableTV.com is also throwing in a 0 GrubHub gift card, as you’ll definitely work up an appetite watching that much superhero badassery.

It’s a dream assignment for any Marvel superfan, but we crunched the numbers and we’re sorry to say that it’s not exactly a financially lucrative gig,

The total runtime of the 20 films is 42 hours, 52 minutes. Simple division tells us that, excluding the value of the other prizes, you’d make about .32 in cash per hour on this challenge. It won’t be enough to put you in Tony Stark’s tax bracket is what we’re saying.

Still, it’s a great way to spend almost two days, particularly if you don’t need much sleep and want to be especially well prepared for the release of Endgame on April 26, 2019.

If you’re interested in applying, there’s a pretty simple form to fill out on CableTV’s website. They’re looking for someone with a larger social media following and a strong argument as to their Marvel superfandom.

Applications are due on April 15, 2019.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MOVIES

‘Catch-22’ is the war miniseries that still feels relevant

Catch-22 was written six decades ago by World War II veteran Joseph Heller, but change the B-25s to CH-47s and make the sands of Pianosa (an Italian island) the sands of Afghanistan, Iraq, or Kuwait, and all the characters and most of the plots would fit right in.


The new miniseries from George Clooney, which features him in the supporting role of an insane commander of cadets, includes all the best moments from the novel. The funny ones, and the ones that capture the horror of conflict. Moments like these seven:
(Spoilers below.)

When a slight error in directions puts a man in mortal danger

When a new gunner shows up to the squadron, he’s bunked in the tent of Yossarian, the main protagonist of the novel and the only one of the miniseries. Yossarian isn’t the most helpful of lieutenants, but he gives the new sergeant directions to the administration tent. A slight miscount of tents sends the sergeant to the ops tent, instead.

So the sergeant, instead of signing in to the unit, gets thrown into the next plane going up on a mission, a dangerous one over Nazi-controlled Italy.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

(Hulu screenshot)

When an Army sergeant tries to marry an Italian whore

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: A young Army sergeant meets an attractive sex worker, falls in love, and wants to get married, even though everyone in the unit tells him it’s a horrible idea.

In Catch-22, that’s Nately, and his enduring loves goes to “Nately’s Whore,” an Italian woman with a funny pimp and a clever younger sister. While Nately’s story is a bit cliche, it also features one of the better lines of sergeants loving sex workers.

“Sure, she’s a prostitute now, but she won’t be once I marry her.”

When a piece of flak almost sends the hero home

During one of the bombardier’s missions, he almost gets his “million dollar wound,” the one that would let him go home. Slight spoiler: He’s hit in the nuts by flak. As the American doctor later explains, any man who gives up a nut for his country is entitled to go home. But any man who almost loses a testicle has to fly more missions.

And, spoiler, Yossarian only almost lost his testicle. A piece of shrapnel passed through his scrotum, between his testicles.

When an aviator creates a mock scrotum to ask about his testicles

And how did Yossarian learn that he still had two testicles? An Italian doctor told him. But the Italian man only spoke Italian, and Yossarian only spoke English, so he did a bit of improvisation, just like any soldier trying to communicate with a local would do.

In Yossarian’s case, that was turning a handkerchief into an improvised scrotum filled with two nearby pieces of fruit. Then he pointed at the fake nut sack, said, “Two,” pointed at his own sack, and asked, “Two?” The doctor got the idea, laughed, and confirmed the boys were still present.

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

(Hulu screenshot)

When the colonel tries to cover up failure by giving an award and promotion

At one point, our hero is so distracted on a bombing run that he goes through the whole run-up, gives all the verbal commands and watches for the release point, but forgets to actually throw the lever to release the bombs. Yossarian, pretty strung out by this point, decides to just get his plane to go around for another pass.

(Major spoiler) But on that second pass, a beloved character is killed, and Yossarian blames himself for making the second run. His bosses blame him too. But when they go to punish him, they suddenly realize that punishing the bombardier would send the message that the mission failed. So, to maintain the perception that the mission was a success, they promote him and give him a medal instead.

(Then, for slightly related reasons, they have him arrested about 24 hours later.)

When the whole world turns dark

But the most familiar parts of the miniseries, and the novel, are the dark moments, when the humor melts away, and the terrifying reality of the war smashes its way in like the world’s most horrible Kool-Aid Man. We aren’t going to list any moments here, because all of them are major spoilers.

But the themes of loss, vulnerability, the futility of war, rampant capitalism, and more are all explored. The “loss” one comes up a lot.

Catch-22 Trailer (Official) • A Hulu Original

www.youtube.com

The titular catch: Catch-22

It’s in most of the ads, so you’ve probably seen how Catch-22 works. If not, it’s a piece of bureaucratic genius that sounds exactly like something the Army would come up with.

Flying bombing missions is suicidal and, therefore, insane. Anyone who is insane doesn’t have to fly bombing missions. All they have to do is present themselves to a doctor and ask to go home. Except.

Except that the moment they ask to go home, the doctor is required to take that as the thought process of a rational mind. Rational people aren’t crazy and can’t be sent home for insanity.

So anyone who asks to go home, can’t. Anyone who doesn’t ask can go home anytime, as soon as they ask.

If you’ve got Hulu, you can check out the show anytime. If not, the book is probably better anyway. Sure, you don’t get to watch Hugh Laurie, but there are even more jokes than in the miniseries. And the novel was written by a vet, so it avoids some of the military mistakes like the show makes. (One guy wearing massive sergeant stripes introduces himself as a lieutenant. There’s about one mistake like that per episode.)

MIGHTY MOVIES

A new, recut & restored ‘Apocalypse Now’ is coming to theaters

Francis Ford Coppola was originally worried his soon-to-be iconic Apocalypse Now would be “too weird” for audiences, so he made major cuts to his film. Now, you’ll be able to see it in all its wacky glory, including 300,173 restored frames of depth, detail, and napalm.

Turn on your sound and watch this epic trailer, people:


APOCALYPSE NOW FINAL CUT – 4K Restoration in Theaters 8/15 & on 4K Combo Pack 8/27!

www.youtube.com

If Walkürenritt or Ritt der Walküren Ride of the Valkyries doesn’t get your juices flowing, I don’t know what will.

On Aug. 27, 2019, in honor of the 40th anniversary of the film, Lionsgate will release Apocalypse Now on a 4K Ultra HD™ Combo Pack (4K disc, plus three Blu-ray discs and Digital copy) and on Digital 4K Ultra HD for the first time ever.

But more importantly, on Aug. 15, 2019, you can see it in select theaters.

Also read: 4 crazy things you didn’t know about ‘Apocalypse Now’

Ride of the Valkyries – Apocalypse Now (3/8) Movie CLIP (1979) HD

www.youtube.com

This isn’t the first time Coppola has made changes to his film. In 2001, Coppola released Apocalypse Now Redux, which added an additional 49 minutes to the original film, and while Roger Ebert gave Redux 4 stars, Coppola still wasn’t satisfied. With Apocalypse Now: Final Cut, Coppola has finally released his vision (which will run 183 minutes, about a half hour longer than the original).

But it’s not just the visuals that are being remastered. Sound technology has advanced since 1979, allowing Coppola to achieve effects that weren’t available in the 70s, including low frequency sound design meant to create a visceral reaction during war scenes.

Make no mistake, this is a sensory theater experience fans of the original film should take advantage of.

Also read: The 12 best quotes from ‘Apocalypse Now’

Articles

8 life lessons from ‘Major Payne’

Although it’s not considered an all-time military movie classic like “Full Metal Jacket” or “Stripes,” the 1995 military comedy “Major Payne” is an entertaining family film (with some salty language). The film stars comedian Damon Wayans as U.S. Marine Corps Major Benson Winifred Payne. Payne is a rough and tough Marine who becomes a Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps instructor after being discharged from active duty for not making lieutenant colonel. Payne’s job is to impart confidence and discipline in the rambunctious junior cadets and train them to win a military cadet competition.


The film has some funny and memorable lines – quoted in military training to this day – such as “What we have here is a failure to communicate” and “I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst.” In between laughs, Major Payne bestows some surprising life lessons that apply to current service members, veterans, and society at large.

1. Career transitions are tough – expect setbacks

Major Payne is served his separation papers from the Marines in the beginning of the film. Just a week out of the service, Payne finds himself in jail after a failed attempt to become a police officer by slapping a man senseless during a training scenario.”It’s civilian life, sir. I had a minor setback,” Payne tells his former commander Gen. Decker, played by Albert Hall. Thanks to the help of his former commander, he lands the job as the JROTC instructor.

Lesson: Many people face a career change at some point in their lives. Setbacks are inevitable but it’s important to be patient. It is also important to use your network when looking for a new career.

2. Not everyone is sympathetic; mental toughness goes a long way

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

The gif above is Major Payne’s most famous quote. He gives his young cadets this verbal tirade as they struggle to complete an obstacle course in the pouring rain. Eventually, the persistence and will of the cadets lead them to overcome the obstacle course and achieve success.

Lesson: Not everyone will be sympathetic to your plight, no matter how difficult things are in your personal or professional life. When faced with challenges, being mentally strong and determined can help overcome any challenge, no matter the level of difficultly.

3. Keep trying to improve

In a classic drill instructor tone, Major Payne tells the young men, “You’re still a shit sandwich, you’re just not a soggy one” following a drill and ceremony routine. In his own unique way, the rough and tough character is acknowledging the effort put in by the boys to improve.

Lesson: Never stop trying to improve. You can always get better.

4. Don’t give up

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

For Major Payne, failure is not an option. He wants victory at all costs! In order to win the military games, he puts the cadets through hell. He shaves their heads, PTs them all day and makes them run in dresses in front of the whole school. Despite their disdain for the man and his tough training methods, the kids don’t quit.

Lesson: Life will bring challenges. Don’t let that prevent you from achieving your goals.

5. Teamwork is important

This is why there are four musketeers in every ‘Three Musketeers’ movie

The cadets are a ragtag group from the beginning. Despite their differences, they build cohesion, delegate responsibilities and establish a common goal to win the military games.

Lesson: The value of camaraderie is vital in bringing a group of people to work well together no matter their differences. Working effectively as a team will bring success to any project whether you are in the civilian or military sector.

6. Loyalty is crucial

Major Payne is given the chance to return to active duty at the rank of lieutenant colonel. Initially, he chooses to take the job offer and leaves the boys high and dry before the competition. Eventually, his love and loyalty to the cadets brings him back to see his boys in the final event of the competition. He stays on as a JROTC instructor.

Lesson: It seems the thought of loyalty as a core tenet is slipping away to self-interest these days. Being loyal to friends, family or co-workers takes time and sacrifice. Believing in and devoting yourself to someone or something you care about is a great value to have for the rest of your life.

7. Self-confidence is essential

Major Payne instills confidence in all of his cadets, especially the smallest one in the group “Tiger.” He tells him a frightening version of “The Little Engine that Could,” and makes him the drill team leader. This gives Tiger the confidence he needs to trust his abilities. Tiger’s self-confidence shines through as the boys do a drill routine with a classic 90’s hip-hop beat and old-school rhymes. Tiger even breaks it down with the “Cabbage Patch” dance and some vintage Michael Jackson moves. His self-confidence helps him lead the team to victory.

Lesson: Trusting in your abilities will help you accomplish your goals. Believe in yourself.

8. Lighten up

Major Payne is a military badass. He takes his life and his work seriously but he begins to lighten up a bit during the movie. He even has a little fun on the dance floor with some sweet robot moves.

Lesson: There are times in life to be serious, but it’s ok to lighten up. Being able to enjoy life, relax, and not be so uptight can make life more enjoyable. YOLO.

MIGHTY MOVIES

11 ‘Game of Thrones’ deaths you need to prepare yourself for

As the final season of Game of Thrones rapidly approaches, a lot of questions about the show remain: Will Dany and Jon be able to find a way to defeat the White Walkers? Is Cersei really pregnant? Will Jamie finally apologize to Bran for pushing him out a window so he could keep his incestuous love affair a secret? But one thing is abundantly clear: A lot of people are going to die in the last six episodes. And in anticipation of the onslaught of death that millions of us will be witnessing, we decided to create a list of 11 characters that need to be dead by the time the final credits roll.


To be clear, this isn’t just a list of the characters we hate the most (though there are a few of those). Instead, it’s a look at whose deaths make the most sense in the scope of the larger story. So we are offering our perspective on which character deaths are the most appropriate narratively. With that in mind, here is our Arya-esque list of 11 characters who need to join Ned, Joffrey, and Ygritte in the great orgy in the sky.

1. Cersei

This one is simple. From day one, Cersei has been nothing short of a monster and any hope she had of redeeming herself disappeared when she revealed she was going to leave Jon and Dany to fight the White Walkers without her help. It could be Jamie or Arya or literally anyone but for Game of Thrones to have an ending that feels satisfying, Cersei has to die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFcXXP7NSV8
Game of Thrones S5 – Cersei Flashback

www.youtube.com

2. Varys

Westeros’ last remaining gossip (RIP Littlefinger) doesn’t really have a role to play now that the never-ending game of thrones has been temporarily tossed aside in favor of fighting the White Walkers. He seems to mainly just look concerned while other people make decisions. Plus, Melisandre has already predicted his death and so it would be kind of weird if he lived.

3. The Moutain

It could be argued at this point that, technically, Gregor Clegane isn’t even really alive, as he seems to be more of some kind of Frankenstein’s monster than a human. But regardless, viewers have been clamoring for the Cleganebowl since Season 1 and hopefully, we finally get to see Sandor complete his redemption tour by murdering the shit out of his brother.

4. Theon Greyjoy

The disgraced ruler formerly known as Reek has experienced a lot of grief over seven seasons (to be fair, a good portion of it was caused by his own selfishness and disloyalty) but he has made some steps towards cleaning his filthy conscience and is now leading a mission to rescue his sister Yara. At this point, the best ending for Theon would involve him sacrificing himself to save Yara and perhaps even kill off his dickhead uncle Euron for good measure. Bittersweet? Absolutely but that’s about as good as it’s going to get for the guy.

Game of Thrones 7×07 – Theon Greyjoy and Jon Snow

www.youtube.com

5. Euron Greyjoy

Game of Thrones is filled with iconic villains but Euron has been mostly disappointing as a wrongdoer who seems to have been tossed into the mix to stir up chaos, to underwhelming results. At this point, if he doesn’t die in some grotesque fashion, then what has all of this been about?

6. Bronn

This one hurts to write but hear me out. Our favorite quick-witted mercenary has always made a point of choosing survival over loyalty every time but it seems only fitting that at some point, he’s going to decide to turn on Cersei and join Jamie and Tyrion in the fight against the Whites. And knowing this show, he will probably be rewarded for this choice by getting viciously killed doing something heroic.

7. Bran Stark

One of the Starks has to die, right? Sansa and Jon seem like the most likely to live and while most people will put their money on Arya, I think Bran dying actually makes the most sense. As the new Three-Eyed Raven, Bran clearly still has a large role to play in the final season. But once the war is over, what does an emotionless prophet like Bran do? Looking at his awkward reunion with his sisters, it’s pretty clear a return to normalcy isn’t an option. So is he going to hang out in a tree like his mentor? Sounds depressing so I think the best send-off would be him kicking the bucket while putting a plan in motion that will allow the remaining Westerosians to take down the Night King and his crew.

Game of Thrones 7×04 – Arya reunites with Sansa and Bran

www.youtube.com

8. Dany or Jon

Right now, these kissing cousins are blissfully residing in Bonetown but the idea of them both somehow surviving and then ruling Westeros together seems too good to be true for Game of Thrones, right? This is a show that delights in subverting happy endings so it feels like the bittersweet ending would be for one of them to die heroically in battle, leaving the other to rule on their own. My money is on Dany but don’t be surprised if Jon becomes the first person since Lazarus to die twice.

9. Jorah Mormont

The traitor turned Dany devotee has managed to avoid death over and over again, which naturally means death is going to catch up with him to collect at the end. It will make me sad but it feels right that he goes out in a blaze of glory, perhaps even saving his unrequited love.

10. A Dragon

A major theme of the last season is going to be the sacrifice it takes to achieve victory and while it will break all of our hearts, that tells me that a second dragon is going to have to die. Which one? Most people have predicted Rhaegal but it wouldn’t surprise me if the show goes for the gut-punch and kills off Drogo, Dany’s favorite. Brutal? Absolutely but let’s not forget this is a show that turned a wedding into one of the most visceral bloodbaths in TV or movie history.

11. The Night King

Do I even need to explain this one? He’s the main villain and if he is alive at the end, that means every non-White Walker is probably dead. So this motherfucker’s gotta go.

Jon Snow vs The Night’s King – Game of Thrones 5×08 – Full HD

www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.