Articles

5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

Service members are held to a pretty high standard when it comes to grooming practices. The military requires that work uniforms look as neat as possible, men's faces need to be clean shaven, and haircuts fall with in regulation.


Staying within these standards can be difficult, especially if you're deployed. But for many, it's just a matter of heading to the local base and getting a $12 haircut at the PX or NEX. The cut may not turn out celebrity style perfect, but you will be within regs.

Grooming standards vary amongst the branches, but at least one aspect remains the same — the hairline needs to be tapered. A fellow troop's haircut is one of the first things veterans and service members notice.

Related: 15 awful hand salutes that don't even come close

Check out our list of military haircuts that would fail inspection:

1. War Daddy

In David Ayer 2014's war movie "Fury," Brad Pitt plays a hard-charging tank commander with a pretty awesome hair cut. But we can't imagine how the Army managed to get a talented hair stylist out on the German front lines to keep his hair perfectly gelled.

We guess everyone in the 1940s cut their hair like Macklemore.  (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

2. American Sniper

The story of legendary Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle hit the big screen in 2014 directed by the iconic Clint Eastwood. With all the excellent production value the film had one aspect was over looked — this Marine's sideburns.

We could mention he also needs to shave, but that's not what this article is about — maybe next time.

We bet he just asked the barber to take a little bit off the top before attending his big brother's wedding. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Broken Arrow

Christian Slater plays Riley Hale, a military stealth pilot who needs to track down a war head, defeat the villains, and locate a pair of Osters.

We know it makes you sad to trim around the ears, but you know what else is sad? Terrorism. Now go shave.

This haircut is so freakin' bad; he's pointing out exactly what's wrong with it. (Source: Fox/ Screenshot/YouTube)

4.  Full Metal Jacket

Although this Stanley Kubrick film is epic on multiple levels, it's a hard fact to swallow that these Marines stationed on a large military base in Vietnam can't find a pair of hair clippers. We're just saying.

Joker (in the middle) looks depressed as he waits on the base barber to show the f*ck up. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

Also Read: 7 life lessons we learned from Gunny Highway in 'Heartbreak Ridge'

5. Jarhead 3: The Siege

The Jarhead franchise just won't stop making bad movies. Not only does the corporal standing on the left need a quick touch up, but he may want to consider switching out his 8-point cover before the sergeant major rips him a brand new a**hole.

Maybe they bought the cover at an airsoft store? (Source: Universal/ Screenshot)

Bonus: Basic

John Travolta plays DEA investigator Tom Hardy (not that Tom Hardy) in 2003's "Basic." Although the character isn't on active duty, his backstory in the film states he's a former soldier. So before he goes out on a mission to locate a rogue soldier, we think he should clean it up around his ears.

That look you give to your hair stylist after to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. (Source: Fox/YouTube/Screenshot)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

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