Articles

7 ways to use a uniform inspection as a statement of individuality

No matter what branch of service you are in, uniform inspections are routine, and there's no real trick to passing them. Just follow the regs to the letter. What's hard about that?


No, those who truly desire to make their mark in this world choose a different path, and (they won't tell you this) but that's what the higher ups are really looking for in their subordinates.

WATM is here to light the fuse of your rocket to greatness. Here are 7 ways to use uniform inspection as a statement of individuality, thereby demonstrating the kind of breakout leadership traits the chain of command loves:

Bust out some innovative grooming

SEALs already know this. You think they grow their hair out and rock killer beards to blend in with the Afghan locals? No way. It's all about staying ahead of the "lumbersexual" trend stateside, and when the admirals see that they're like, "Man, that's some awesome leadership stuff going on there."

Sport an Irish Pennant or two

Attention to detail is a must and having loose strings and threads sticking out of your uniform is a clear sign that you have it. Gunnys won't say this, but they love when their charges show this kind of initiative.

Show your fun side with your military bearing

Cracking a smile, smirking, or making any other expression other than a stoic and fearless look will convey that you're a professional warfighter who won't crack under pressure. Demonstrate this sort of lighthearted manner at every opportunity, especially if the inspecting officer is an O-6 or higher.

Cultivate beaucoup wrinkles in your uniform

No steaming, pressing, starching, or ironing your uniform. The presence of lots of wrinkles tells leadership that you accept that military life is imperfect and you won't let that fact get you down.

Misplace your ribbons and badges

(WARNING: Following this recommendation could lead to stolen valor guy responses from zealous vets with YouTube accounts. Avoid public places, especially sporting events or shopping malls or country music concerts.)

What kind of lemming needs a chart to show him or her where ribbons and badges are supposed to go on the uniform? Feel the power of the designer within you and organize all of that stuff in a way that seems right for YOU. This'll be a real eye-opener for superiors.

Make sure your uniform doesn't fit

Superiors may tell you that they don't like the "jeans around the ass with the underwear showing" look, but they're actually intrigued by it and maybe even a little jealous they didn't come up with the idea. Once again, don't be afraid to make a statement that says, "I don't follow, I lead."

Wear too much of your signature fragrance

It takes more than clothes and demeanor to leave that lasting impression on those who control your fate. Leverage the sense of smell to your professional advantage.

Dirty up your shoes / boots

(Photo: USMC)

It's true that your shoes say a lot about you, and this is especially true during a uniform inspection. Dirt on your boots screams "I'm totally focused on the mission, dammit, and have no desire to waste this command's time." Higher ups might not say it, but trust us, they love that sort of statement.

Good luck, friends. And welcome to the fast track.

NOW: 7 Things people use every day that originated in the military >

OR: 9 Military movie scenes where Hollywood got it totally wrong >

GEAR & TECH

6 of the most notable pre-M16 military guns

Throughout history, the U.S. Military has used a wide variety of guns to win its battles. Prior to the M16, there were several weapons used across the service throughout some of the most devastating wars the world has ever seen.

Here are some of those weapons:

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

How R. Lee Ermey's Hollywood break is an inspiration to us all

While there have been many outstanding actors and celebrities who have raised their right hand, there has never been a veteran who could finger point his way to the top of Hollywood stardom quite like the late great Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey.

Keep reading... Show less
International

China and the US could end up in a war – here's what would happen

It's unlikely that the U.S.-China trade dispute is going to escalate to a full-scale war any time soon — but it's not impossible. Neither side is inclined to go to war with the other, but a war of that scale is what both plan to fight. All it would take is one bungled crisis, one itchy trigger finger, one malfunctioning automated defense system and the entire region could become a war zone.

Keep reading... Show less
Lists

Here are the best military photos for the week of April 20th

The military is always evolving and new things happen every day. With each changes comes a new set of challenges and new opportunities to succeed. Thankfully, there are many talented photographers in the community that capture these struggles and triumphs.

Keep reading... Show less
History

5 ways troops accidentally 'blue falcon' the rest of the platoon

Every now and then, the pricks known as 'Blue Falcons' come and ruin things for everyone else. They break the rules and make everyone else suffer. They rat out their brothers- and sisters-in-arms. They even damage the reputation of others to make themselves look better.

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

Why I'm thrilled Brie Larson will play Captain Marvel

Look, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is really lighting my fires when it comes to their female superheroes.

When Marvel Studios announced they would be bringing Captain Marvel to the big screen, I was thrilled. I was also immediately invested and my expectations shot through the roof.

Keep reading... Show less
History

This is how American pilots used drop tanks as bombs during WWII

If you pay attention, you might sometimes see long, cigar-shaped pods firmly attached to the undersides of classic fighter and attack aircraft, sometimes with unit markings on them.

Known as "drop tanks," these simple devices extend the range of the aircraft they're hooked up to by carrying extra usable fuel. Back during World War II, however, attack pilots found a secondary use for drop tanks as improvised bombs, used to bombard enemy ground positions.

Keep reading... Show less

The hilarious ways Chinese police are combating jaywalkers

China is so desperate to stop jaywalkers it has turned to spraying them with water.

In Daye, in the central Hubei province, one pedestrian crossing has had a number of bright yellow bollards installed that spray wayward pedestrians' feet with water mist.

Keep reading... Show less