Articles

8 reasons the new guy always gets caught when he screws up

Screwing up in the military is a given. Sometimes a person is just trying to sham, sometimes they get drunk at the wrong time, and occasionally they even make an honest mistake. Service members who have been in a while know how to avoid getting caught. New guys are making these eight mistakes.


1. Bad risk management

Leaders do composite risk management for missions. Smart shammers do CRM for everything else. Every entry on this list can be chalked up to a failure of composite risk management. Shamming during work? Plan on how to avoid snitchs' eyes. Headed off base to get plastered? Plan for how to get to a recall formation.

2. New guys are too stupid to play dumb

Privates like to seem like they have it all together. This is huge mistake. Sergeants love taking a soldier under their wing and "teaching" them things. When they play dumb, their mistake will become a "teachable moment" instead of a counseling statement.

"Private! Why weren't you at PT formation?"

"Sergeant, I got lost and couldn't use my cell phone to call you because I was in uniform."

"Couldn't use your cell –? Oh. No. You can use it. You just can't walk and talk, private. Here, I'll explain ..."

3. They don't think of good cover stories

Most of the time, new guys will get through shenanigans without seeing a single senior noncommissioned officer, but too many new guys fail to prepare a cover story to throw leaders off the scent, just in case. The cover story should match the environment. For instance, smart soldiers bring plastic bags when shamming in the motor pool. If caught , they just say: "Well, my sergeant sent me to get an exhaust sample in this bag from truck ID-10-T, but I can't find that bumper number anywhere." Again, new guys get to play dumb.

4. They don't get organized

The reason old hands in the barracks are more organized than new guys has nothing to do with inspections. It's because they need their stuff handy when they screw up. If they're getting drunk while there's a chance first sergeant will call everyone in, they're prepared to rapidly brush their teeth, put on a uniform, get to formation, and be dress-right-dress by the time the squad leader starts taking accountability. Less organized troops would still be hazily looking for their uniform top and boots.

5. New guys don't work as a team

New guys try to get away with stuff by hiding all the evidence from everyone, rather than selecting members of their squad and platoon they can trust to help them in a crisis. Instead of shamming alone, smart troops designate roles to each other. For smoking in the woods while assigned to a cleanup detail, two people should be in charge of collecting cigarettes and dropping them in an energy drink can, two people should be in charge of immediately looking at the ground like they're hunting for trash, and someone should be standing lookout.

6. Failure to stage supplies

Photo: US Army

That can in number 5 and the trash bag in number 2 don't magically happen. They're staged supplies. Electric razors can be placed in cars for use while driving to a recall formation, military publications can be opened to make it look like someone is studying doctrine rather than sleeping, and cans of dip are handy for bribing squad leaders.

7. They need better escape routes

Photo by: US Army

Never slack off in an area with only one exit. Always be prepared to make a quick exit on an unexpected route.

7. They don't get representation in the Terminal Lance Underground/E-4 Mafia

Different services have different versions of the junior enlisted league, but everyone should join theirs. The sergeants and petty officers of the world are working together to catch the junior enlisted, the junior enlisted must band together in defense. New guys don't always have an advocate in one of these fine organizations to help them distract NCOs, lose files, or text them ahead of a crisis. They should get one.

8. They forget to stand at parade rest

Seriously, do it every time. Parade rest is like stealth camouflage for privates. Troops should stand at parade rest every chance they get. It makes NCOs think they're too afraid to break the rules.

NOW: The 9 best items deployed troops use instead of cash >

OR: 23 terms only US Marines will understand >

Featured

Meet the Mighty 25: Influencers Supporting the Military Community in 2018

Throughout the year, the team at We Are The Mighty has the privilege of learning about and meeting people doing extraordinary things in the military-veteran community. This is the inspiration behind our annual Mighty 25: Influencers Supporting the Military Community in 2018 — a list of individuals who are making a difference for military service members, veterans, and their families.

This year, we expanded our list to include not just veterans, prior service members, and reservists, but also civilians who are doing exemplary work in this community.

Keep reading... Show less
Articles

This is earth's real first line of defense against asteroid strikes

To be big enough to kill all life on Earth, all an asteroid has to do is kick up enough dust to cloud the atmosphere, change the climate, and cause a global extinction. To do so, the asteroid must be larger than 270 meters across — and there are millions of asteroids that size relatively close to Earth. How do we defend against random destruction or an extinction-level event?

Keep reading... Show less
GEAR & TECH
Daniel Brown

9 photos of the US military's most powerful and most expensive helicopter

The US Marine Corps received its first CH-53K King Stallion on May 16, 2018, landing at Marine Corps Air Station New River in North Carolina, according to The Drive.

"[This is] the most powerful helicopter the United States has ever fielded," CH-53 program chief Marine Col. Hank Vanderborght said in April 2018. "Not only the most powerful, the most modern and also the smartest."

Keep reading... Show less
GEAR & TECH

5 close-air support weapons for the Lancer that are better than a cannon

Recent reports have surfaced that state that the B-1B Lancer might get a cannon to help provide close support for troops on the ground. Now, as we all know, when it comes to using a gun to provide support for the troops, nothing beats the A-10's BRRRRRT.

Keep reading... Show less
NEWS
Jim Edwards

Russian assassins are probably sleeper agents hiding in the UK

Former Russian spy Sergei Skripal left the hospital in May 2018, after recovering from an assassination attempt. Skripal and his daughter were poisoned with a nerve agent at his home in Salisbury in March 2018, by Russian spies, British counter-terror authorities have said.

One creepy prospect for the Skripals is that the would-be assassins may still be in the UK, living undercover as normal people, Russian espionage experts say. It's easy to smuggle people out of Britain. For those of us not in the espionage business, it seems surprising that the attackers would stay in the country rather than escape immediately.

Keep reading... Show less
NEWS
Matthew Cox

New Army recruits will get more range time and more ammo

U.S. Army training officials have finalized a plan to ensure new recruits in Basic Combat Training receive more trigger time on their individual weapons.

In the past, new soldiers would learn to shoot their 5.56mm M4 carbines and qualify with the Army's red-dot close combat optic. Under the new marksmanship training effort, soldiers will qualify on both the backup iron sight and the CCO, as well as firing more rounds in realistic combat scenarios.

Keep reading... Show less
NEWS
Daniel Brown

This insane video of a C-130 flying just above a soldier's head

A YouTube video emerged on May 18, 2018, showing a Saudi C-130H flying very low over a soldier's head in Yemen, The War Zone first reported.

The video appears to show the soldier trying to slap the underside of the C-130H with an article of clothing, but it's unclear where exactly in Yemen it was shot, and how much of it was planned, The War Zone reported.

Keep reading... Show less
NEWS
John Haltiwanger

This is the Army's billion-dollar robot program

The Pentagon is investing roughly $1 billion over the next several years for the development of robots to be used in an array of roles alongside combat troops, Bloomberg reported.

The US military already uses robots in various capacities, such for bomb disposal and scouting, but these new robots will reportedly be able to preform more sophisticated roles including complex reconnaissance, carrying soldier's gear, and detecting hazardous chemicals.

Keep reading... Show less