13 memes that will *almost* make you want to reenlist

Ruddy Cano
Apr 17, 2023 5:36 AM PDT
3 minute read
ranger school

SUMMARY

The military has a time-honored tradition across all branches of giving its troops a meritorious ass chewing for a job…

The military has a time-honored tradition across all branches of giving its troops a meritorious ass chewing for a job well done. Messing up is second nature for a brand new boot, stuck between the rigid instant obedience to orders and dwindling common sense. Anytime I read a new controversial regulation put into effect or a new-but-dumb way to solve an old problem, I metaphorically hug my DD-214 a little tighter. Yet, every now and then we'll see a meme that will make us remember our service with rose-colored glasses. Whether you did four years or 20, we all get out of the service but the dark comedy defense mechanism will be forever be imprinted upon us. It's like that verse in Hotel California: "You can check out but you can never leave." 'Rah!

Credit DietDrPibb, "It's actually not Bobby Hill, but Stewart the neighbor kid"

As the years go by, boot camp gradually gets watered down a little more. Sometimes this is due to safety concerns, but other times changes are made for no apparent reason. For example, the ban on running recruits through the alligator-infested swamps of Parris Island while drunk during or after a storm is something no one would oppose. On the other hand, the removal of the Scuzz Brush. The Scuzz Brush became obsolete in 2012 due to the Corps switching over to a new synthetic shoe for the dress uniform, rendering the Scuzz Brush useless. Unofficially, the purpose of the stiff bristles was to scuzz the deck clean using recruit tears. Some things evolve for the better, while others just evolve. Every generation needs something to be salty about change, but it was good cardio, though.

Active duty do be like that. One day you're in receiving and then before you know it you're getting passed over for promotion. Motivating!

Who said that with no fear!?

Everyone is Ranger now, did you know we even sent some Marines to Ranger school? Does that technically make them a hybrid between soldier and Marine? Is that Chesty Puller rolling in his grave?

Did you know you can just take him off the list and it won't affect your average ACFT for the company? You're 72 hours away from being called your first name, sir. Among other things if you keep this up.

Oh look, knife hands now have moving targets!

You had months to buy appropriate civilian attire and the best you can do is the clearance rack at the PX? Just give them an NJP for acting like boots that picked up rank.

Not going to lie, this one made me actually laugh out loud. Aw, boots think they're people.

We're changing the ROEs, right? Right?

*Vigorous hand motions* "No sh*t, there I was on post hatefully doing things that would make angels cry in Heaven when suddenly..."

Fix bayonets, drop all ammo, and charge that machine gun nest.

Have not seen this movie since deployment. Be right back, going to grab an expired MRE and settle in for a fun weekend.

It should not be that difficult to pass it down. It's not even free, we all paid into it when we were all boots. It's not a benefit, it's an entitlement. The basic requirement is that the service member must have completed at least six years of active duty service and agree to serve an additional four years. The not-so-basic requirements. The troop must be eligible for the Post-9/11 GI Bill and not have used all of their education benefits themselves too. Not to mention the complex criteria for dependents and whether or not it is a degree program. Don't even get me started on the regulations and the application process.

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