Nobody ever did 'Movember' like these 9 Civil War generals - We Are The Mighty
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Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Every “Movember,” dudes worldwide grow mustaches (and more) to support the foundation dedicated to fighting prostate cancer. But in the history of military grooming standards, few cohorts can hang with that of the Civil War. Check out these looks that would make a modern-day hipster weep:


1. Gen. George McClellan

 

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
McClellan may have been timid with sealing the deal against the Confederacy at Antietam, but he was full tilt when it came to styling this ‘stache and soul patch combo.

 2. Maj. Gen. Alfred T. A. Torbert

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

 3. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

 4. Gen. George Armstrong Custer

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Custer was known for his golden locks, mercurial disposition, and his killer ‘stache right up to the point when he took an arrow or two at Little Big Horn.

5. Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Sherman was rocking his “rough night in Atlanta” look in this shot. His beard grooming technique was replicated by Bradley Cooper in “American Sniper.”

 

6. Gen. Lew Wallace

 

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

 7. Maj. Gen. George Crook

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

8. Gen. Joshua Chamberlain

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
He came to the Army by way of a career as an educator, so it’s no surprise that Chamberlain cold schooled his fellow officers in ‘Stache 101 during his days as a Union general.

 9. Gen. Ambrose Burnside

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Burnside is the namesake of the — wait for it — sideburn. Pure genius. And that medal adorning his chest is most certainly for “visage gallantry in the face of extreme danger.”

 

 

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13 funniest military memes for the week of March 3

Military memes are some of the best things on the internet. Here are some of the best military memes available.


1. Every military career should have a deadpan narrator (via Pop smoke).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Also, things are almost never good. They are sometimes rewarding, but very rarely good.

2. None given, none expected (via Sh-t my LPO says).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Now we want to know what that code means.

3. Everyone should bring a friend with three years remaining when they go to meet the career counselor (via The Salty Soldier).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

ALSO SEE: Watch China launch planes from its only aircraft carrier

4. Ummm, families, you’ve been sent a template. You’re supposed to put your soldier’s rank, their last name, and their first name (via The Salty Soldier).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

5. Getting punished for Course 15 isn’t a big deal for people already at their personal peak rank (via @texashumor).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
So keep your Course 15. And 14. And any others you come up with.

6. For reals? Did you take a particularly hard hit on your head this week?

(via Team Non-Rec)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Just wait till he reverses the direction on his rifle as well.

7. Think about how apathetic the original terminal lances were when the Marine Corps was much smaller (via Team Non-Rec).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
That apathy must’ve been more concentrated than the salt in their cammies.

8. Gonna be honest, we would give everything to a properly tuxedoed penguin (via Sh-t my LPO says).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Little bow tie and everything.

9. That bar owner is gonna have to work hard to get open in time for lunch chow (via Military Memes).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

10. “Wait, we’re done? I can leave? Already?”

(via Air Force Nation)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

11. Yeah, it’s pretty magical (via Air Force Nation).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
That’s why everyone should buy their own jet.

12. The chipping paint and rust is just seasoning (via Coast Guard Memes).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Dropped meat: It’s what’s for dinner.

13. “What? I closed the door and stuff.”

(via Shit my LPO says)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Articles

The inside joke names that soldiers have for different unit patches

For nearly 100 years, U.S. Army soldiers have designed and worn unit patches. And for roughly same amount of time, soldiers have made fun of each other’s patches.


The tradition of Army patches dates back to 1918 when the 81st Infantry Division deployed to Europe wearing a shoulder insignia they had designed for training exercises in South Carolina. Other units complained about the unauthorized unit item to Gen. John Pershing who, rather than punishing the 81st, authorized the patch and recommended other units design their own.

Since then, units have designed and worn patches that motivated soldiers, honored the unit lineage, and encapsulated military history. This is a sampling of some of those patches, along with the alternate names that soldiers remember them by.

1. “Leaning Sh-thouse” — 1st Theater Sustainment Command

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

The arrow is supposed to symbolize the ability of the command to fulfill its mission quickly and effectively, but soldiers decided it looked like an outhouse dropped on a hill.

2. “Broken TV” — 3rd Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Army Spc. Luke Thornberry

The three lighter stripes symbolize the three major campaigns the division fought in during World War I while the darker stripes symbolize the loyalty of the soldiers who gave their lives. Once TVs were invented, the similarity between a broken set and the patch was undeniable.

3. “Four Lieutenants Pointing North” — 4th Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Army Markus Rauchenberger

4th Inf. Div. wants you to see their patch and relate the four ivy leaves to fidelity and tenacity. The Army sees it and just thinks about lieutenants getting lost on the land navigation course.

4. “Crushed Beer Can” — 7th Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

This is supposed to be an hourglass formed from two 7s, a normal one and an inverted one. Of course, it really does look more like a can someone crushed in their grip.

5. “Flaming Anus” — 9th Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Army Steven Williamson

You see it. You know you do.

6. “Gaggin’ Dragon” — 18th Airborne Corps

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

Their mascot is a Sky Dragon so they went with a big scary dragon … that needs someone to administer the heimlich.

7. “Electric Strawberry” — 25th Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Air Force Tech. Sgt. Michael Holzworth

Based out of Hawaii, 25th’s patch is a taro leaf, native to Hawaii, with a lightning bolt showing how fast the division completes its missions. Since no one knows what a taro leaf is, most soldiers call it the electric strawberry. They also sometimes get called “Hawaii Power and Light.”

8. “Days Inn” — 41st Infantry Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Army Steven Williamson

Like 3rd Infantry Division’s, there was nothing odd about this patch when it was adopted in World War I. Still, if you’re only familiar with the hotel chain, this patch feels like copyright infringement. Some soldiers from this unit volunteered for service in Afghanistan in 2008, an experience chronicled in Shepherds of Helmand.

9. “Alcoholics Anonymous” — 82nd Airborne Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: US Army D. Myles Cullen

The 82nd Airborne Division was named the All-American Division after a contest held in Atlanta, Ga. The patch’s two A’s are meant to call to mind the “All-American” nickname, but many people are, of course, reminded of the alcoholic support group. This wasn’t helped by the division’s reputation for hard drinking.

10. “Choking Chicken” — 101st Airborne Division

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The 101st was originally based out of Wisconsin and they based their unit patch off of “Old Abe,” a bald eagle carried into combat by the 8th Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry Regiment during the Civil War. While Abe was a distinguished bald eagle, the unit patch could easily be seen instead as a chicken with corn stuck in its windpipe.

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The most awesomely American names for military operations

Military operation code names can be tricky to pull off. You want to have a name that conveys power and majesty, striking fear into the hearts of your enemies, but you don’t want something that lets your enemy know what you’re actually doing – such as the planned German invasion of England (its name, Sealion, let the British know exactly what it was). You also don’t want something inappropriately glib, either because it’s not macho enough (the US invasion of Grenada was briefly named “Blue Spoon”) or sends the wrong message, such as the unfortunately named Korean War-era plan “Operation Killer.”


The naming of military operations is thought to have begun with the German Empire in the final two years of World War I. Before then, operations were usually named after either their commanding officer or the general area they were taking place in (i.e., Somme Offensive, Neville Offensive, etc.) But German generals added code names to increase operational secrecy and give them a shorthand for referring to individual parts of the hugely complex battles on the Western Front.

In the decades that followed, operation names went from random designations to carefully chosen code names that would boost morale and offer clever description. American officers in Vietnam and beyond were faced with naming dozens of operations, everything from large scale troop deployments to clearing out small sections of cities. Here are the most awesomely American names for military operations from World War II through Iraq. Bask in their American kick ass majesty and upvote those that are screaming “U S A! U S A!” the loudest.

The Most Awesomely American Names for Military Operations

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This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

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The most powerful American militia groups throughout history

The American militia movement had been mostly dormant during the Bush Administration, but the election of Barack Obama gave it new life – and thousands of new members. There are currently hundreds of small local militias in the US, groups of “patriotic citizens” who own a lot of guns and spend a lot of time tramping through various wilderness areas training to use them.


These groups train to prepare for what they see as the inevitable consequences of a Democratic president, such as gun confiscation, martial law, imprisonment of dissenters, mass purges, and totalitarian fascism. Most of these groups are also opposed to federal law and feel they’re somehow above the rules than the rest of us live by. This means many have been shut down and raided by police or the FBI – with some groups involved in murders, kidnapping, massive fraud and plots to overthrow the presidency.

Listed here are the more well-known militia groups operating in the US, both now and in the recent past. Read on to learn more about these groups and what drives them.

The Most Powerful American Militia Groups Throughout History

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This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos this week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


NAVY

An MV-22 Osprey takes off from the flight deck of the amphibious assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard (LHD 6).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Taylor A. Elberg/USN

MARINETTE, Wis., (July 18, 2015) The littoral combat ship Pre-Commissioning Unit (PCU) Little Rock (LCS 9) is launched into the Menominee River in Marinette, Wisc. after a christening ceremony at the Marinette Marine Corporation shipyard.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: USN

MARINE CORPS

Lance Cpl. David Sellers, a refrigeration mechanic with the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, embraces his wife with a kiss during the Command Element’s homecoming at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Cpl. Todd F. Michalek/USMC

I SAW You

A Marine with Golf Company, 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marines provides cover for fellow Marines moving between buildings during a military operations in urban terrain training event aboard Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Lance Cpl. Chris Garcia/USMC

SOUTHWEST, Asia – U.S. Marine Lance Cpl. Zachary Claus and Lance Cpl. Luis Alvarez, avionics technicians with Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron – 165 (VMM – 165), Special Purpose Marine Air – Ground Task Force – Crisis Response – Central Command, take multimeter readings from the engine of an MV–22 Osprey.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Lance Cpl. Garrett White/USMC

ARMY

Marines assigned to 1st Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Marine Division, and an Army instructor assigned to U.S. Army Alaska‘s Northern Warfare Training Center, conduct military alpine operations, at Black Rapids Training Site and Gulkana Glacier.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Staff Sgt. Sean Callahan/US Army

A soldier, assigned to the Georgia National Guard, fires a Mark 19 40-mm grenade machine gun from a Humvee during mounted weapons qualification, part of the unit’s annual training, at Fort Stewart, Ga., July 21, 2015.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Capt. William Carraway/National Guard

AIR FORCE

The Thunderbirds Delta Formation flies over Niagara Falls, N.Y., July 20, 2015.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Senior Airman Jason Couillard/USAF

Five members of the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds fly in formation behind a KC-135 Stratotanker assigned to McConnell Air Force Base, Kan, July 23, 2015. The Thunderbirds are the Air Force’s premier air demonstration team and perform at different events across the country every year.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Senior Airman Victor J. Caputo/USAF

COAST GUARD

Line handlers from the Coast Guard Cutter Spencer moor the Coast Guard Barque Eagle in Boston, Thursday, July 23, 2015. The Eagle was operated by the pre-World War II German navy and taken as a war reparation by the U.S., is now a training ship where cadets and officer candidates learn leadership and practical seamanship skills.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Petty Officer 2nd Class Cynthia Oldham/USCG

The Coast Guard Barque Eagle is in Boston Harbor, Thursday, July 23, 2015. The Eagle, operated by the pre-World War II German navy and taken as a war reparation by the U.S., is now a training ship where cadets and officer candidates learn leadership and practical seamanship skills.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo by: Petty Officer 2nd Class Cynthia Oldham/USCG

NOW: More awesome military photos

OR: The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Happy Friday! Got memes you want to see in the rundown? Send ’em over to our Facebook page. Go ahead and “Like” us while you’re there.


1. Tricky Dick knew tons of secret ways of getting the weapons clean faster (via Marine Corps Memes)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Too bad those secrets were all in that 18.5 minute gap on the tapes.

2. B-2 getting up to attack speed.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Well, unless you’re where the democracy is dropped. Then you’ll see nothing – ever again.

SEE ALSO: 11 reactions to seeing your relief show up after a long watch

3. Know all those classes when you get to a new post?

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
This guy is why.

4.  This is what happens when no one takes charge.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
I always copy the guy wearing a PT belt. That guy is squared away as f*ck.

5. Future puddle pirate, right here.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
It’s not about the size of the boat in the fight – except when it is.

6. “Technician!”

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
She even looks like a new Air Force pilot.

7. A hero modestly explains his significance.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

8. In his defense, it’s not like you stand at attention for it (via Marine Corps Memes).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
It’s just going to be awkward when the machine starts correcting his position of parade rest.

9. The Nazi Air Force didn’t focus enough on PT.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how you crash a plane without breaking the prop. Shouldn’t that have been rotating? Might be why you fell.

10. The driver is trying to find the button for JP-8 …

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
… and the PLT sergeant is inside buying dip.

11. How the Air Force turns new recruits into the toughest badasses on the planet (via Marine Corps Memes).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Welcome to the jungle.

 12. Some branches kill terrorists …

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
… some branches pull drunks out of the ocean.

13. Well, doing PT takes, like, an hour a day.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Buying larger PT gear only takes 15 minutes.

NOW: This teenage genius created the best prosthetic ever

AND: 11 American spies who did the worst damage to the US military

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos in just one week-long period

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


AIR FORCE

President Barack Obama transits aboard Air Force One through the Kentucky Air National Guard Base in Louisville, Ky., April 2, 2015. Obama was in town to discuss job training and economic growth during a visit to Indatus, a Louisville-based technology company that focuses on cloud-based applications.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Maj. Dale Greer/USAF

Crew chiefs prepare a B-1B Lancer on Al Udeid Airbase, Qatar, for combat operations against Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant terrorists, April 8, 2015. Al Udeid is a strategic coalition air base in Qatar that supports over 90 combat and support aircraft and houses more than 5,000 military personnel.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Senior Airman James Richardson/USAF

NAVY

The guided-missile destroyer USS Oscar Austin (DDG 79) moors between two buoys in Port Victoria, Seychelles. Oscar Austin is conducting naval operations in the U.S. 6th Fleet area of responsibility in support of U.S. national security interests in Europe and Africa.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Ensign Kirsten Krock/USN

CARIBBEAN SEA (April 15, 2015) An MH-60S Sea Hawk helicopter attached to the Sea Knights of Helicopter Combat Support Squadron (HC) 22 provides search and rescue support during a search and rescue exercise conducted by the Military Sealift Command hospital ship USNS Comfort (T-AH 20) during Continuing Promise 2015.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Kameren Guy Hodnett/USN

ARMY

A Paratrooper from the 1st Battalion, 325th Airborne Infantry Regiment 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division provides security while mounted on a camouflaged Lightweight Tactical All Terrain Vehicle during Combined Joint Operational Access Exercise 15-01 on Fort Bragg, North Carolina, April 14, 2015.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Sgt. Flor Gonzalez/US Army

Engineers, from 2nd Cavalry Regiment, conduct a platoon breach at Hohenfels Training Area, Germany, April 13, 2015, as part of Exercise Saber Junction 15. Saber Junction 15 is a multinational training exercise which builds and maintains partnership and interoperability within NATO.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Maj. Neil Penttila/US Army

MARINE CORPS

LISBON, Portugal – U.S. Marines with Special-Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response-Africa post security during an assault training exercise near Lisbon, Portugal, April 10, 2015. Marines stationed out of Moron Air Base, Spain, traveled to Portugal to utilize a variety of different ranges and training exercises alongside with the Portuguese Marines.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Lance Cpl. Christopher Mendoza/USMC

MARINE CORPS AIR STATION CHERRY , N.C. – Naval aviators with Marine Tactical Electronic Warfare Training Squadron 1 shoot flares from an EA-6B Prowler during routine training above Eastern North Carolina, April 14, 2015. VMAQT-1 student pilots and electronics countermeasures officers train to perform dynamic maneuvers while focusing on communication and radar jamming.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Cpl. Grace L. Waladkewics/USMC

COAST GUARD

A helicopter from U.S. Coast Guard Air Station Borinquen stands at the ready on the flight deck of Coast Guard Cutter Resolute.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: USCG

The crew of the U.S. Coast Guard Cutter Senecastands watch over Lower Manhattan in New York City with One World Trade Center in the background.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: USCG

NOW: 9 reasons candidates are disqualified from military service

OR: Watch Shepherds of Helmand:

Lists

6 uniform inspection hits service members can easily avoid

In boot camp, recruits spend hours carefully fine-tuning their uniforms, as each is custom to the person who wears it. Each garment is individually hemmed and every medal is measured for absolute accuracy.


To test service members, each branch holds uniform inspections in order to maintain military standards. Although we all learned how to groom our uniform, the uniform inspectors commonly find “hits,” or mistakes, during the inspections.

To help you pass inspection, we’ve put together a list of common hits and how you can avoid them.

1. Fingerprint scuffs on medals and your belt buckle

We continually adjust and readjust ourselves in hopes of getting that perfect inspection score. No one wants to fail because they touched their belt buckle with an oily finger five minutes before standing in formation.

Look into getting thin gloves to use as you adjust yourself and your fellow troops’ uniforms — you wouldn’t want them to fail either.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
This belt buckle’s owner must have taken our advice. (Image from Sgt. Grit)

 

2. Holes from previous ranks

Lower enlisted (E1-E4) are required to apply their gold ranks on the collars of their white dress shirts. To do so, you must poke two holes in the shirt. Once this soldier becomes an NCO, their rank is no longer displayed on their collar, but rather on their epaulets. Now, the soldier is left with two distinct black holes in the collar — that’s a hit.

When the time comes, you’ll need to dip into your clothing allowance and purchase a new shirt.

3. Clean shaves

In the military, unless your MOS states otherwise, you’re supposed to shave every day. During an inspection, your face is the first thing the inspector looks at. They’ll go in for a closer look to check to see if you cut down every hair on your face.

Some service members have such dark beards that they get 5 o’clock shadows before noon. That could be a hit.

 

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
If you can find time to shave on deployment, then you can shave while stateside. (Source: Wikipedia Commons)

 

Quick fix: Shave often.

4. Wrong dress socks

You would think that wearing any black dress socks during inspection is okay. The truth is, you have to wear ones that fall within regulation. Inspectors know these regulations inside and out, and they’ll deduct points for wearing the wrong socks.

Quick fix: Keep the right pair of black socks in your polished dress shoes at all times.

5. Those Irish pennants

The threads on our uniforms break often and fall out of line — sticking out like sore thumbs. Those ugly and out-of-place threads are called “Irish pennants.” If an inspector sees one or two, they’ll usually issue an immediate hit. Too many can result in a fail.

Examine yourself and carry a set of small scissors or nail clippers to cut them off before they become a real problem.

Also Read: 6 crazy things MPs have found during vehicle inspections

6. A lopsided ribbon rack

A ribbon rack is used to showcase a troop’s accomplishments. The problem is, they’re too straight and don’t conform to the natural contour of a service member’s chest — at all.  Typically, the service member will place their uniform on a flat surface and measure the ribbon rack against their chest pocket, if they have one.

The problem is, once the troop dons the uniform, the fabric shifts like any other piece of clothing and all your hard measuring was for nothing.

 

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Clearly lopsided.

Quick fix: Have your battle buddy help you properly adjust your ribbon rack before the inspection. That is all.

Articles

These 4 books show the inner workings of Delta Force

As the wars have raged on, America’s interest in Tier One special operators like Delta Force and SEAL Team Six has increased. Delta Force has managed to stay largely in the shadows in spite of this, keeping their missions and accomplishments relatively secret. They hunted Osama bin Laden, were part of the capture of Saddam Hussein, and have operated in dozens of countries around the world, but little is known about the outfit.


But there is a body of work out there about Delta Force. Here are four books by former operatives that give a glimpse behind the curtain:

1. “Delta Force: A Memoir by the Founder of the U.S. Military’s Most Secretive Special Operations Unit”

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Col. Charlie A. Beckwith was the creator of Delta Force. He fought from 1962 to 1977 to get the unit after serving as an exchange officer with the British SAS. He was finally given permission to found the unit and describes the process in “Delta Force.” He also goes into detail of the rigorous training and selection process that continues today. Beckwith led the unit through the failed Operation Eagle Claw, an attempt to rescue the American hostages in Iran.

2. “Inside Delta Force: The Story of America’s Elite Counterterrorist Unit”

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Written by a founding member of Delta Force,  “Inside Delta Force” takes a reader through the training and earliest missions of the elite unit. Retired Command Sgt. Maj. Eric L. Haney describes his personal experiences in Beirut, the Sudan, and Honduras.

3. “Kill Bin Laden: A Delta Force Commander’s Account of the Hunt for the World’s Most Wanted Man”

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Kill Bin Laden” looks at the earliest attempts to capture or kill Bin Laden immediately after the September 11 attacks. The book shows the inner workings of Delta Force on the ground conducting operations. The operators work with local forces to hunt through the Tora Bora mountains and are able to listen in on bin Laden’s communications before ultimately losing him.

The author uses the pseudonym Dalton Fury and has also written a series of novels about Delta Force.

4. “The Mission, the Men, and Me: Lessons from a Former Delta Force Commander”

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

Pete Blaber, a former Delta Force commander, takes readers through his own physical and mental training as he joined Delta Force before discussing his missions in Columbia, Somalia, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and Iraq.

The Mission, the Men, and Me” has a few distinguishing characteristics. First, this book discusses more operations in the Post-9/11 world than any other on this list. Also, Blaber distills the lessons he learned in Delta Force and helps readers apply them to their lives in modern America.

NOW: There have been nearly as many Navy SEAL books written as all other special ops combined

OR: 5 key differences between Delta Force and SEAL Team 6

Lists

The 6 best WWE ‘Tribute to the Troops’ matches

Around the holidays, World Wrestling Entertainment always puts on a show specifically for the troops, WWE Tribute to the Troops. For a time, wrestlers would travel overseas to Iraq and Afghanistan to duke it out, live, in front of the troops. The wrestlers spent a few days hanging out with the deployed troops, interacting with them and sending messages to their families back home before putting on the actual event.


Since 2010, the event has been held domestically on or near military installations. Being stateside has opened the door for more celebrities to join in on the event. This year, the WWE will put on a show at Naval Base San Diego in a two-hour special, airing Thursday, Dec. 14th on the USA network.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
As far as wresting back drops go, that’s pretty cool. (Image via WWE)

6. The Usos and Rey Mysterio defeat The Shield — 2013

In 2013, The Shield was a dominant heel (villain) stable. They arrived in what, to this day, is still one of the most bad-ass entrances in WWE history: The team stepped out of a Stryker and into the ring.

They still lost to the face (hero) team of Rey Mysterio and the Uso Brothers, but still — they arrived in a Stryker!

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
DX still has them beat. They showed up on a tank. Twice. (Image via WWE)

5. Rey Mysterio defeats Mark Henry — 2007

There’s just something special about rooting for the underdog in a fight. Watching a 5’6″, 175lbs luchador take on a 6’4″ 399lbs power-lifter is akin to watching someone defy gravity. The fact that the match took place during the heights of both of their careers and in front of troops in Tikrit, Iraq made it that much more awesome.

Okay, yeah. People who can’t suspend disbelief enough to enjoy what is essentially a physically demanding theatrical performance can at least enjoy the effort and dedication of the performers.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

4. John Cena retains WWE Championship against Chris Jericho — 2009

The only time WWE Championship matches were held during Tribute to the Troops was at Joint Base Balad, Iraq. Fairly short in comparison to the rest on this list, the match was fast-paced and packed with many of the superstars’ trademark moves.

Whether you love the guy or hate how he’s booked, Cena is still one of the most patriotic superstars in pop culture.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
He leads in most Make-a-Wish wishes and has been honored by the USO for his contributions. He’s actually a really good guy. (Image via WWE)

3. John Cena, CM Punk, and Daniel Bryan defeat The Wyatt Family — 2013

This match technically counts as three, but the buildup lasted the entire show. Daniel Bryan was fighting Bray Wyatt until the match was disqualified due to the outside interference of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. So, Daniel Bryan brings in friend, CM Punk, to fight the two newcomers. The match is again disqualified when Bray Wyatt shows back up in the ring.

It all culminates in Daniel Bryan joining CM Punk and John Cena to fight off the entire Wyatt Family.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Plus, we got to see the three best wrestlers of the time on the same tag-team. (Image via WWE)

2. Shawn Michaels defeats Triple H in a “Boot Camp” match (No Holds Barred) — 2005

This is the type of match that everyone associates with the WWE.

These former-best friends were both powerhouses in the “Attitude Era” of 90’s wrestling. The chaotic match spilled out of the ring and into a TOC. Since it was technically a “no holds barred” match, they hit each other with whatever they felt like — everything from sandbags to a mop was fair game.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
You know, just typical wrestling stuff. (Image via WWE)

1. John Cena defeats Big Show — 2003

This match is ranked at the top for one reason and one reason only: After the match, we got Stone Cold Steve Austin in Baghdad, Iraq on Christmas Day.

It was one of his final appearances in the ring and the only time we got to see Stone Cold give his finishing move, the Stone Cold Stunner, to John Cena.

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Too bad Stone Cold couldn’t share a beer with the troops. (Image via WWE)

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of April 14

Ready for a payday weekend? So are we once we finish these little articles and get through the editor’s safety brief.


One intern falls out of the window and all of a sudden we can’t be trusted. Anyway, here are 13 funny military memes to help you get the weekend started:

1. “Yeah, Navy, Imma let you finish. But the Air Force has the greatest bombs and I can prove it.” (via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
That MOAB is Air Force AF.

2. Don’t laugh, don’t coo at him. Don’t laugh, don’t …. (via Air Force Memes Humor)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Guarantee you’ll lose control and laugh when his voice cracks.

Also read: Why deadly wounds aren’t treated first in combat

3. But what are you going to do with the extra space in the bin? (via U.S Army W.T.F! moments)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Maybe that’s where you can place their DD-214s as well.

4. The warrant recruiters wouldn’t have to send all those emails if they only made this their motto (via Sh*t my LPO says).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
For warrants, it’s actually a pretty accurate description.

5. You’ll spend the whole weekend waiting for the other shoe to drop (via Sh*t my LPO says).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
What’s really going on around here?

6. “Wait … this surf and turf doesn’t even taste like rubber. Why would they send fresh food unless …”

(via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

7. Know what’s a good topic for those application essays? “How I smoked that terrorist shooting at my buddies.” (via @rachaaelbrand)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals

8. It’s funny because it’s true (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
It’s also sad because it’s true, but let’s not focus on that.

9. Speaking of sad because it’s true:

(via Military Memes)

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Sorry, Jody. No one is cutting orders yet.

10. Just think of all the dry socks and water onboard too (via Decelerate Your Life).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Silver bullets as far as the eye can see.

11. That DD-214 isn’t always a golden ticket (via Team Non-Rec).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Guess you’re just going to have to console yourself with doing whatever you want and getting to see your wife and children.

12. Sorry, corporals, but we were all thinking it (via The Salty Soldier).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Army corporals enjoy twice the responsibility without any of that pesky extra pay.

13. Nope. Nope. Nope (via Sh*t my LPO says).

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
You do get plenty of free salt though, so that’s nice.

Articles

The 5 craziest ideas the British had for battling German subs

Whenever a new weapon sees widespread deployment, all the rules get rewritten. The draft version of the new rules can be a bit strange though. Here are five crazy ways Britain thought it might get a handle on Germany’s U-Boats in World War I.


1. Training seagulls to sh-t on the periscopes

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Wikipedia/Sanchezn

There is no explanation of how the seagulls would be trained to do this. Admiral Sir Frederick Inglefield, head of all “motor-boat patrols” (discussed below), believed seagulls would defecate on submarine periscopes if properly trained. The blinded submarines would then be forced to surface or attempt to escape the harbor.

2. Hammers and bags

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Wikipedia

The British tried to stop the submarine menace with a “motor-boat patrol.” There were hundreds of these boats, each with at least two crew members. The boats would patrol designated areas near the coast looking for periscopes. But only 1 in 10 was armed.

So, if the crew spotted a periscope, they were supposed to sneak as close to it as they could in the boat and then swim the rest of the way. One man would take a canvas bag and pop it over the periscope while the other would swing a hammer as hard as he could to break the periscope.

3. Meeting submarines under the surface with top notch swimmers and sharp hammers

There’s no record of the British ever attempting this method, but someone proposed the Royal Navy select some especially strong swimmers. When a submarine was spotted these swimmers could swim to the hull and attempt to hit it with a pointed hammer, piercing its hull and sending it down.

4. Training birds and sea lions to watch for periscopes

Nobody ever did ‘Movember’ like these 9 Civil War generals
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Tony Hisgett

In an effort to more quickly identify submarines working near British and Allied shipping, the British Navy attempted to train seagulls and sea lions to chase periscopes. The training was done by creating dummy periscopes that dispensed food.

Seagulls were trained in the open ocean while sea lions from British music-halls and circuses were trained in tanks.

5. Covering the ocean in paint

This was supposed to work in two ways. First, any submarine that raised its periscope while the ocean was covered in paint would be blinded as the paint covered the periscope glass. Second, the paint was generally green which may confuse the submarine captain as to what depth he was cruising at, possibly causing him to move higher in the water which would expose his hull.

Artillery on the shore or motor boat patrols could then target the blind, exposed U-boat. While this tactic was proposed to the Royal Navy, it’s not clear that they ever attempted it. This could be because they didn’t have enough green paint to cover the surface Great Britain’s 19,491 miles of coastline.

 (h/t David A. H. Wilson, Cumbria Institute of the Arts, United Kingdom)

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