Items the military refuses to call by their proper names - We Are The Mighty
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Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet. That’s a lesson the military has taken to heart, changing the names for plenty of items that civilians all know by another name.


1. “100 mph tape” and “Tape, adhesive cloth, 2 in.” are both Duct tape/Duck tape

Oddly enough, duct tape was originally a military item that the troops called “duck tape” for its ability to repel water. But, since “Duck tape” is now a brand name and duct tape was trademarked, the military calls its tape 100 mph tape. The rumor was that it could stick to things moving 100 mph.

Interestingly, airplane maintainers and race car crews eventually did need tape that could stick at well over 100 mph, and so they created speed tape. Speed tape is similar to duck tape in use, but it’s much stronger both in terms of stickiness and tensile strength.

2. “Hook and loop fasteners” and “hook pile tape” are Velcro.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: US Army

3. “Slide fastener (and tab thong)” is a zipper

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Rabensteiner

4. “Elastic retention strap” is just a rubber band.

5. Chem lights are glow sticks.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: US Army Timothy L. Hale

6. Most candy in an MRE is called by a made-up name.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

MMs are called pan coated discs, Skittles are fruit discs, and Combos are called filled pretzels or filled crackers.

7. Don’t dare call uniform items by civilian names

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: US Army Maj. Meritt Phillips

 

Hats are covers or patrol caps. Rain jackets and waterproof pants are called wet weather gear or foul weather gear. The outer shirt on most combat uniforms is called the jacket or blouse.

NOW: The 13 funniest military memes

AND: 32 terms only airmen will understand

Articles

7 unit mottos that came straight out of combat

Most units in the military have a motto they use to stand out. Some of them are even pretty cool. But the most badass unit mottos are forged in the crucible of combat.


Here are seven units that live by the immortal words uttered in battle:

1. “Keep up the fire!” – 9th Infantry Regiment

The 9th Infantry Regiment has a long history, but its service in China is particularly noteworthy. Not only did the 9th pick up its regimental nickname, Manchu, from its time there — but also the unit’s motto.

During the regiment’s assault on the walled city of Tientsin, the flag bearer was killed and the regimental commander took up the colors.

He was immediately targeted by Chinese snipers and mortally wounded himself. His dying words to his men were “Keep up the fire!”

The unit successfully stormed the city and captured it from the Boxers.

2. “I’ll try, sir” – 5th Infantry Regiment

 

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Battle of Lundy’s Lane, July 25, 1814. (New York State Military Museum)

During the War of 1812, the 21st Infantry Regiment engaged the British at the Battle of Lundy’s Lane.

After the Americans were decimated by British artillery on the high ground, Lt. Col. James Miller, the regimental commander, was given the near suicidal task of launching an assault to capture the guns. He simply responded, “I’ll try, sir.”

The 21st advanced on the British position and fired a volley that swept the artillerymen from their guns. They then charged with bayonets, driving off the remaining British troops and capturing the guns.

When the 21st was absorbed by the 5th Infantry, with Col. Miller in command, his famous word “I’ll try, sir” became the regiments official motto.

3. “These are my credentials” – 8th Infantry Division

 

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Major General Charles D.W. Cahnam (U.S. Army photo)

After landing in Normandy in July 1944, the 8th Infantry Division was part of the arduous task of liberating the port city of Brest. After weeks of hard fighting, the Germans finally capitulated on Sept. 19.

When Brig. Gen. Charles Canham, deputy commander of the division, arrived to accept the surrender of the German commander, Gen. Ramcke, the senior German officer demanded to see the American’s credentials. Canham, simply pointed to his battle-hardened soldiers and replied, “These are my credentials.”

4. “Rangers lead the way!” – 75th Ranger Regiment

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
U.S. Army Rangers assigned to 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, fire off a Carl Gustav 84mm recoilless rifle at a range on Camp Roberts, Calif., Jan. 26, 2014. Rangers use a multitude of weaponry during their annual tactical training. (U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Rashene Mincy/ Released)

The Rangers of WWII spearheaded many Allied invasions, particularly on D-Day at Normandy. The Rangers of the 2nd and 5th Ranger Battalions found themselves pinned down on Omaha beach along with the rest of the assault force.

Trying to inspire the shell-shocked men of the 29th Infantry Division, Brig. Gen. Norman Cota, the assistant division commander, came across the men of the 5th Ranger Battalion. When they identified themselves as Rangers Cota then gave one of the most famous orders in the history of the U.S. Army: “Well, goddammit then, Rangers, lead the way!”

Their efforts effected the first break through on Omaha and what would later become their motto — Rangers lead the way.

5. “I’ll face you!” – 142nd Infantry Regiment

The 142nd first saw action as part of the 36th Infantry Division in World War I. After facing heavy fighting near the village of St. Etienne, the regiment faced off against the Germans at the Aisne River. The regiment sent a patrol across the river to reconnoiter behind enemy lines.

As they attempted to return to friendly lines, they came under heavy fire from the Germans. A young lieutenant, inspiring his men, turned towards the Germans and shouted, “I’ll face you!” and refused to turn his back.

His quote eventually became the regimental motto.

6. “Nothing in Hell must stop the Timberwolves” – 104th Infantry Division

The 104th Infantry Division was a unique formation.

Having trained specifically as a nightfighting unit, the division then received a unique commander — Mej. Gen. Terry de la Mesa Allen. A combat commander who had previously commanded the 1st Infantry Division in Africa and Sicily, he had an unorthodox command style combined with a hard-charging attitude.

When Allen took command, he gave the division its new motto, “Nothing in hell must stop the Timberwolves,” and he meant it.

The 104th fought under numerous Allied commands and was always held in the highest regard, often being cited as the finest assault division. Through courage, grit, and determination the Timberwolves defeated the Germans and lived up to their motto.

7. “Let ’em have it!” – 59th Infantry Regiment

The 59th Infantry Regiment shipped to France during World War I as part of the 7th Brigade. During the Meuse-Argonne Offensive, the 59th took part in the fighting around Chateau-de-Diable.

During the engagement, a squad approached from the Chateau. Initially the men held their fire, afraid of gunning down friendly forces, until a sergeant with the regiment realized the mistake and yelled out, “They come from the wrong direction, let ’em have it!”

It was later discovered that the squad was German soldiers in American uniforms and the sergeant’s words became the unit motto.

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13 high-value terrorists we’ve killed or captured since 9/11

All eyes are on the Pentagon as it assesses the effects of the strike that may have killed “Jihadi John,” the British terrorist who conducted high-profile executions for ISIS.


The downfall of JJ is an awesome win for the U.S. and U.K. militaries, but it’s just the latest in a list of “high-value targets” that have been brought down. Here are 13 of America and her allies’ greatest hits against terrorism.

1. Osama Bin Laden

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Wikipedia/Hamid Mir

You don’t need an intro to this a–hole. He was killed by SEAL Team 6 in a daring raid into Pakistan on May 2, 2011.

2. Saddam Hussein

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: US Army

Like Osama Bin Laden, you really shouldn’t need an intro for this guy. Saddam Hussein was captured by U.S. forces on Dec. 13, 2003 in Tikrit, Iraq where he was hiding in a tiny hole. He was executed Dec. 20, 2006 by hanging after being found guilty of crimes against humanity.

3. Muhammad Atef

The head of military planning and Osama Bin Laden’s security from the late 90s through 2001, Muhammed Atef was killed in an air raid near Kabul in Nov. 2001.

4. Abu Sayyaf

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
On the left, Abu Sayyaf as a mujahideen commander in 1984. Photo: Wikipedia/Erwin Franzen

The Army’s Delta Force led the raid against Abu Sayyaf and killed him when he resisted May 16, 2015. Sayyaf ran ISIS’s gas and financial operations as well as a limited number of military operations.

5. Atiyah Abd al-Rahman

Atiyah Abd al-Rahman became al-Qaeda’s top operational planner and number 2 leader overall after Bin Laden was killed. His tenure near the peak was short-lived and he was killed in a drone strike Aug. 22, 2011.

6. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

An expert at coordinating suicide attacks, a kidnapper, and an executioner, Zarqawi’s presence in Iraq was one of the “proofs” that Saddam Hussein was tied to al-Qeada and had to be taken down. He died Jun. 8, 2006, of wounds sustained in an airstrike.

7. Abu Ayyub al Masri and Abu Omar al Baghdadi

The top guy in al-Qaeda Iraq and his number two, Abu ayyub al Masri and Abu Omar al Baghdadi were killed in a joint-U.S. and Iraqi security operation in Anbar, Iraq in Apr. 2010.

Note: This is not the Baghdadi who leads ISIS. That’s Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi who may have been killed or injured in Oct. 2015.

8. Abd al Rahim al Nashiri

A suspected planner of the USS Cole attack and a number of others, Abd al Rahim al Nashiri was captured in an airport in Nov. 2002.  He is currently detained in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba..

9. Anwar al-Awlaki

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Wikipedia/Muhammad ud-Deen

The Youtube imam caught frequenting prostitutes by the F.B.I, Anwar al-Awlaki was a U.S. citizen. He fled the states and eventually took a leadership role in al-Qaeda Yemen. He was killed in Sep. 2011 in a drone strike.

10. Abu Layth al-Libi

The number 3 in al Qaeda at the time of his death, Abu Layth al-Libi got his start in another terror network before becoming a field commander and spokesman for al Qaeda. He was killed in a drone strike Jan. 29, 2008.

11. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Wikipedia

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, suspected to be the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, was captured Mar. 1, 2003 by the C.I.A after an informer known as “Asset X” texted his handler, “I M W KSM.” Mohammed is still in custody at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

12. Mustafa Abu al-Yazid

The head of finance for al Qaeda and possibly the director of operations when he was killed, Mustafa Abu al-Yazid was killed by a missile strike in May 2010.

13. Abdul Basit Usman

A leader of a Islamic terror organization in the southern Philippines, Abdul Basit Usman may have been killed by his own bodyguards. They tried to claim a bounty from U.S. and Philippine authorities after Usman was shot to death May 3, 2015.

Articles

6 separation beards and what they say about your personality

Being clean shaven every day in the military is an absolute must — unless you’re a special forces operator and are allowed to grow out a manly beard. Every morning, men (and some women) wake up during with a 5 o’clock shadow that is required to disappear before morning muster.


But the day you signed your DD-214 and no longer fall under the rules and regulations of shaving, it’s time to grow out that impressive separation beard — just because you can.

Not every beard is right for the individual. With several types of styles to choose from, it’s necessary to grow one that fits your specific personality. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you pick one out that fits your unique look.

Also Read: The Army may allow all soldiers to sport ‘operator beards’

1. The Mountain Man

Not to be mistaken for the “Homeless Man,” this style says “I work my ass for a living, but it’s usually somewhere outside in the cold.” It’s popular for keeping your face warm and catching food crumbs.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
You may take his life, but you’ll never take his separation beard!

2.  The Chuck Norris

One of our favorites, this traditional style relays to the world that not only can you be rugged, but you take enough time to trim up. This typically looks good enough to step into the boardroom for a presentation, then head right out to the gun range.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave — he orders his beard to stop growing.

3. The “I’m not too worried about it”

This unique look informs the world you’re just chilling, you’re in no hurry, and whatever happens, happens.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Related: This Air Force fighter ace was the inspiration for ‘Mustache March’

4. The Galifianakis

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Named after the talent actor-comedian Zack Galifianakis, this ensures your fellow man that you’re a hard worker, but you know how to crack a good joke and don’t take life too seriously.

5. The Fuzz

Not everyone can grow a full separation beard — some of us grow them in thin-to-thick patches.

This doesn’t inform the world you have low testosterone (the male’s dominant hormone) because it isn’t a facial hair growth factor — dihydrotestosterone is the chemical that promotes thick beard growth and unfortunately is linked to hair loss. Bummer!

We still respect your commitment.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
You get points for trying.

6. The Shaggy

A fashionable look for those who received their separation paperwork and ran straight to the bar, leaving their razor or clipper behind in the barracks.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Did we leave any out? Comment below.

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6 ways the Army was the perfect primer for ‘Batman’

The whole world mourned June 9 at the news that Adam West, the Army veteran and actor who brought “Batman” to the silver screen, had died at the age of 88 after a battle with cancer.


Adam West was born, and drafted into the Army, as William West. In the military, he was in charge of standing up TV stations at San Luis Obispo, California, and Fort Monmouth, New Jersey. But if it seems odd that the star of a farcical show like the 1966 version of “Batman” got his start in the Army, it was actually the perfect way to prepare for such a ridiculous show.

Here are six reasons why:

1. Renaming everything to some arbitrary standard like “bat cuffs,” “bat time,” and “bat channel,” makes sense for anyone who has had to relearn names for Velcro, Duck Tape, and zipper

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Batman and Robin stand with their utility belts. (Photo: Greenway Productions, Public Domain)

Batman wore a bat belt that contained bat pills and bat cuffs which came in handy for the show that played twice a week at the same bat time, same bat channel. While all of that seems like nonsense to civilians, soldiers are used to fastening “hook and loop fasteners,” taping items down with “100 mph tape,” and securing their blouses with “slide fasteners and tab thongs.”

Those are ridiculous ways of referring to Velcro, Duck Tape, and zippers, which are all brand names that the Army can’t use in official doctrine. So young Billy West would have gotten used to using the Army names. It was probably easy to start calling everything “bat” later in life.

2. Dealing with a group of ne’er-do-wells like the “Batman” villains is old hat for anyone who has dealt with an Army squad

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
The villains of the 1966 Batman film. From left to right, the Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman, and Joker. (Photo: Greenway Production, Public Domain)

Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman, Archer, and other crazy villains were always hatching insane schemes in the Batman TV show. But, once again, the Army would’ve prepared the future Bruce Wayne for this.

Soldiers decide to get high with spice and bath salts? Yup, sounds about right. Troops smuggling liquor overseas by pouring it into Listerine bottles and mixing in food coloring? Seen it. Enlisted hijinks are basically Silver Age Batman ridiculous, just without the fancy gadgets and costumes.

3. Having to mentor a grown adult while treating them like a child is how all specialists deal with new privates

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
(Photo: flickr/BATMAN)

One of the more awkward truths about the Batman is that Robin, the Boy Wonder, was actually a 21-year-old man when the show began. The grown adult Adam West had to act like mentoring another grown man while treating him like a child wasn’t sort of weird.

But again, the Army is perfect preparation for this. After all, most specialists have only been in the military for a few years and they can be assigned responsibility of a private first class who has been in the Army a couple of years. So, 24-year-old  supervising 20-year-olds.

4. Spending all of your time with an attractive lady without giving in is easy for any NCO who had to ignore their co-ed lieutenant’s good looks

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Adam West’s Batman and Catwoman almost kiss. (Photo: YouTube/InnuMaccaband)

One of Batman’s greatest villains was Catwoman, who definitely had a thing going on with Batman. But Batman refused to give in to it (though he almost kissed her once, and a later incarnation of Batman ran off to Europe with her).

But any specialist or sergeant who has pulled overnight duty with an even moderately attractive officer knows what it’s like to weigh the consequences of “fraternization” over and over. Chances are, young and attractive Billy West had to say no to a few female sergeants and officers, or at least find the right place to give in without getting caught.

5. Only in the military and “Batman” can the little stuff be crucial during an emergency

This is a small one, but most organizations will let little things go during an emergency. But Batman doesn’t accept any of that crap from Robin. Proper grammar is important, and Batman corrects Robin even as Catwoman tries to get away on a rocket.

You know, just like a sergeant major yelling about gloves during a firefight or reflective belts during literally anything.

6. Working within made-up rules is easy for anyone who has dealt with UCMJ and Rules of Engagement

Batman runs into some pretty stupid bureaucratic problems during the show, like that time the Riddler sues Batman (while using riddles to explain his scheme, because of course he did) for false imprisonment and assault.

While the details of the case seem insane, Billy West probably sat through the Uniform Code of Military Justice briefing where soldiers are told they technically can’t engage in anything other than “missionary”-style sex because of Article 125.

Really think anyone who was briefed on Article 125 will be thrown for a loop by Gotham’s insane judges?

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4 of the funniest boot camp stories we’ve ever heard

Far from just marching around and being yelled at by sadistic drill sergeants, basic training can be the source of hilarious stories.


Case in point comes from an awesome AskReddit thread. The thread, which originated with Reddit user mctugmutton, asked the military community for “the funniest thing they witnessed while in boot camp.” The answers run from LOL to LMFAO and glimpse at basic training differences between service branches.

Reddit user sneego: The time half my squad decided to clean their training gear naked.

Our last week of basic training, we basically spent days cleaning all of our TA-50 (pretty much all your issued gear- rucksacks, ponchos, etc).

The drill sergeants decided it would be more efficient for us to pile up some of the major items as a platoon and organize cleaning teams. Well, the cleaning team in charge of doing ponchos decided to use the showers to make things go faster and to free up the faucets in the laundry room for others to use. So they begin cleaning and then decide to go one step further: Why be careful about getting wet when you can just get naked and get things done even quicker?

Next thing you know, half of first squad is butt naked chatting like nothing unusual is going on when our drill sergeant walks in. The DS just looks in, makes a David Silvermanesque WTF look, says in his thick Puerto Rican accent, “Jesus LORD privates, what the F–K!” and walks out.

Reddit user allhailzorp: The time my friend got an imaginary bathroom siren.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Sgt Reece Lodder/USMC

Not me, but my best friend who recently went through USMC boot camp.

It’s about Week 2. All the recruits are still scared s–tless. Literally, some of their a–holes are clenched so tight they haven’t gone number two since they got there. And by this point, with Marine chow being what it is, there’s quite a backlog building up. My buddy desperately needs to go. He wanted to wait until his individual time that night, but it was too late, he was touching cloth.

So, braving his fear of the DIs, he speaks out. “Sir, this recruit requests a head call, SIR”. Then, he blurts out, “Sir, it’s an emergency, Sir!”

The DI, with his infinite sense of humor:

“Oh really? An emergency huh? Well, you better put on your SIREN.”

My buddy has to wave his hands above his head, and scream “Bee-Boo Bee-Boo” as he ran to the restroom. This continued for the entirety of boot camp, every time he needed the bathroom.

One Reddit user witnessed E.T. phone home during Air Force basic training.

We had a really pasty kid with huge coke bottle glasses with a really high pitched almost robotic voice in our flight that seemed to be a lightning rod for TI abuse.

One morning our TI told the kid that he was on to him and he wasn’t going to allow him to complete his mission. Suffice to say the kid was extremely confused and asked the TI what he was talking about to which he replied “You’re an alien and I know you’re here to gather intelligence about our military.”

At this point, I couldn’t hold in my laughter any longer and went to the other side of the barracks as quick as possible before I got dragged into it. Well, I just got to the other side when the kid comes barreling around the corner and stops right in front of his locker and starts screaming into it that the TI was on to him and that the mission was unsuccessful.

I guess the TI told him that he had to report to the mothership through the communicator in his locker that the mission was unsuccessful and he’d been found out.

From Dan Caddy, author of Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said: The time the DS found a Chinese boy in a wall locker. (Not in the book)

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Screen capture from Amazon.com

My Basic Training Battery had twin brothers in it, Chang L , and Chang K . Chang L was in fourth platoon and his brother was in third. One evening, there were combatives happening in the fourth platoon barracks. Chang K had sneaked into our bay to be a part of this unsanctioned event, specifically so that he could wrestle his brother. Everyone was wearing PT uniforms, except for some reason our Chang, who was wearing nothing but his issued brown briefs, and had removed his glasses for the fight. Suddenly, a wild Drill Sergeant appeared! Chang L, in his underwear, was grabbed by someone and stuffed into their wall locker.

His twin brother, Chang K, ran up to the front of the bay to take his brothers place for mail call. It was a disaster waiting to happen. After mail was handed out, the Drill Sergeant decided to hang around for a bit and have a serious heart to heart talk with us about something that had happened recently (an attempted suicide). The Drill Sergeant had gathered us close and was quietly talking about loyalty and brotherhood when all of the sudden, he was interrupted by the metallic squeal of a wall locker opening.

There was a hushed silence as the skinny little Chinese man, blind without his glasses, peeked out around the door and stepped out, in plain view of the Drill Sergeant. Apparently, we had been so quiet, that he thought we had all left.

DS: “WHY IN THE F–K IS THERE A NAKED CHINESE BOY IN YOUR WALL LOCKER?!”
Pvt 1:”Drill Sergeant, I put him there, Drill Sergeant!”
DS: What the f–k?
Pvt 2: “We were wrasslin’, Drill Sergeant.” It was silent for a few seconds as the DS’s face contorted as though he were about to have an epileptic seizure. His eyes were cartoonishly huge.

The DS pointed at the practically nude Chang L and screamed at him to get his f–king ass over to the third platoon barracks. Chang L started to interject, presumably to inform the DS that he had confused him for his brother, but was unable to finish because at this point the DS was knocking things over and screaming his lungs out. Chang ran away, blind and naked, stumbling into furniture as he fled, leaving his terrified twin brother in his place. I don’t believe that we actually got our Chang back until PT the next morning, when they were able to switch back.

Get Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said via Amazon or Barnes and Noble locations nationwide.

Articles

The 13 Funniest Military Memes This Week

Welcome to 2015! The holidays are over and, for some of us, the shine is already coming off the New Year. If you need a boost to face the next 52 weeks, try these 13 military memes that made us laugh.


The dog jumped; paratroopers just fall

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Hey, the dogs get parachutes too.

No loitering or soliciting

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
The only bum fights with national security repercussions

The best air shows require ordnance

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Why set down the controller? Can’t you pilot with those now?

It’s alright, you’ll sweat it out

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
As long as you wear a reflective belt

No s–t, there I was…

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
…it had been hours since lunch, and I was at the back of the line.

If they were equal, the Marines couldn’t spend so much time bragging

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Nope, just paid the same.

Dress for the job you want

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Pretty sure those toys are wearing their helmets though. Proper PPE, fellas, Proper PPE.

ENDEX, ENDEX, ENDEX

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Best feeling in the military is, right before you have to admit you screwed up, hearing ENDEX.

The miracle of birth

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Jets, the only babies that throw their own showers

Overly manly man has a sweet tooth

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
No. They don’t share them either.

Lock the door, leave the lights off

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
It’s always the duty. ALWAYS.

At least they included a spot for the helicopter

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Kind of surprised they settled for only one hole

Military service is steeped in tradition

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Worst time for a negligent discharge
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5 things every ‘doc’ should know before their first deployment

Being a “doc” in the infantry means you’ve already been put through some chaotic training long before reaching your first unit.


Now that you’ve received orders to deploy to a war zone, you’ll probably have a sh*t-ton of questions flowing through your mind.

Rest easy, doc. Here are a few things every medic or Corpsman should know before making the journey to the frontlines.

Related: 6 things corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

1. Spread out your medical gear.

Corpsmen and medics usually carry a ton of gear on their backs. They haul a mobile emergency room alongside their ammo and weapon systems. Since war is unpredictable, it’s impossible to plan on exactly how many bandages, tourniquets, and IV bags you’ll need for every mission or patrol.

That said, have your squad members pack those extra items in easily-accessible pouches on their flak jackets so you can grab what you need in a hurry.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
The classic “IFAK,” or Individual First Aid Kit. Every troop should carry some version of this important setup.

2. Train that muscle memory. Then, train that muscle memory some more.

Boot medics train for hours to learn how to render care to an injured troop. The fact is, when those bullets fly and the explosions go off, your mind will run in several directions. When that happens, your trained muscle memory will kick in and you’ll find your hands treating sustained wounds efficiently – even though your mind might not be set in “medical-mode.”

This is where all that training you did prior under stressful conditions pays off.

3. Don’t lose your confidence.

Young medics are going to make mistakes — it’s just the way things work. They’ll make small ones and big ones. Truthfully, most of your squad members won’t know if you did something wrong unless you admit it or wear an “I-f*cked-up” look on your face.

At the end of the day, you’re the medical professional and, if you lose confidence in yourself, your squad will, too.

4. Don’t attempt to be the big shot.

Corpsman stationed with Marines might attempt to look as badass as the rest of their squad members by pretending to know all the ins and outs of being an infantryman. It happens a lot. Pretending to know everything and acting like a big shot will just make you look dumb when you get called out.

If you watch and learn, one day you’ll actually be that big shot.

Also Read: 5 fitness tips to prepare you to become a combat medic

5. Never give up on yourself or on your troops.

Being a doc means you’re going to feel the all the ups and downs of an emotional rollercoaster. Some days will be tough, while others will seem like a walk in the park. The key to any crappy moment is to remember your squad members will go above and beyond for you — as long as you do the same for them.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
This Medal of Honor recipient, Robert Ingram, saved numerous Marines’ lives after being shot several times in battle during the Vietnam War.

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7 painful things that are better than getting OC sprayed

OC qualifying is one of the most dreaded requirements in the military. Occasionally, you’ll run into some people who will try to act tough by saying that OC qualifying isn’t so bad but they’re lying. It is that bad.

Certain ranks in the military require that the troop first experience the pain of oleoresin capsicum (OC) spray. For the same reasons one might opt to experience the pain of a taser, the aim here is for the person carrying such a tool to understand how it feels so they think twice before using it.


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At least the pain won’t last very long…

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Getting kicked in the family jewels

This is extremely painful for any man to experience — but it’s still not as bad as getting pepper sprayed and then subsequently having to fight people and do workouts afterward.

Getting a toenail removed without lidocaine

Granted, any type of procedure is going to be painful without a sedative, but no matter how painful that procedure is, it’s still not as bad as taking pepper spray to the face.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Once you get some fresh air, you’ll be just fine.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Corporal Ashley Lawson)

CS gas qualification

This is probably the worst part of boot camp — getting put into a bunker filled with tear gas then being forced to pull the mask off your face. If you’ve got lungs of steel, no problem, just hold your breath. But, if you take the smallest breath, your entire respiratory system is going to be on fire. Even still, pepper spray is much worse.

MARSOC screener

This one will likely stir some debate, but let’s be real: At the end of a MARSOC screener, even if you don’t get picked, there’s the gratification of having completed some of the most grueling preliminary testing the military has to offer. At the end of OC qualification, you’re just in pain.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Some may prefer OC spray over getting tasered but they’re probably crazy.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Corporal Christian Robertson)

Taser qualification

People who have done both taser and OC qualification will debate this all day. You’ll hear some may say they’d rather get tasered ten times than be sprayed once and vice versa. The truth, however, is that with tasers, the pain ends when the trigger is released. With OC, the pain lingers long after you complete training.

Helo dunker

Training for a helicopter crash in water is fun for some, but a lot of people hate it. For those who don’t know, what happens is you get strapped into a simulated helicopter, which then gets dropped in a pool, submerged, and flipped upside down.

Your goal is to escape the grips of death and resurface. Once you get out of the helicopter, you’re done — that’s it.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

This one might not be worth it in the end, though…

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Staff Sgt. Dengrier M. Baez)

Reenlisting

The most commonly despised word across the military is “reenlistment.” While the option to reenlist is not exciting, some might even choose it over getting pepper sprayed again.

Articles

9 fictional characters that would make great drinking buddies

Picking a reliable drinking buddy in the military is a difficult decision to make. You don’t want someone who brings too much drama to the table, but you also don’t want someone who isn’t interesting.


Since drinking is about having fun and getting to know other people, having someone who can serve as an awesome wingman can make your evening out that much better.

Related: 7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Check out our list of fictional drinking buddies we’d like to toss a few back with.

1. Gunny Highway (Heartbreak Ridge)

He can eat concertina wire, piss napalm, and put a round through a flea’s ass at 200 meters. We’d love to see that after tossing a few back.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
He also probably brings beer to the field. (Source: WB/ Screenshot)

2. Topper Harley (Hot Shots! Part Deux)

Because a fighter who battles his competition with gummy bears and sprinkles honey-glued to his fists, better know how to hold his liquor.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
We would have chosen crushed jolly ranchers and jaw-breakers bits. (Source: Fox/Screenshot)

3. Col. Walter E. Kurtz (Apocalypse Now)

For someone who was bat-sh*t crazy and a genius at the same time — you know he has some crazy drinking stories to tell.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
A diamond through your brain? That’s cool. (Source: MGM/Screenshot)

4. Lt. Aldo Raine (Inglourious Basterds)

This guy snorts tobacco and cuts Nazi swastikas into his enemy’s foreheads. Why wouldn’t you want him as your drinking buddy?

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Plus, it would take a few beers before we’d ask him how he got that badass scar on his throat. (Source: Weinstein Company/ Screenshot)

5. Animal Mother (Full Metal Jacket)

After smashing a few shots, he’d be the first guy to have your back during a bar brawl.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
I need a beer! (Source: WB/Screenshot)

6. Pvt. Valentine (Private Valentine: Blonde Dangerous)

Since she’s a “looker,” she’ll be able to bring her hot friends to the bar for you to meet. It’s a win-win situation.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
She wears that shirt well. (Source: Oasis Films/ Screenshot)

7. Bill Kilgore (Apocalypse Now)

This Army renegade loves the smell of napalm in the morning and killing the enemy while shirtless. You know he has some epic stories that only come out with some expensive scotch.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
(Source: MGM/Screenshot)

8. Gunny Hartman (Full Metal Jacket)

Before his untimely murder in the first act, this fair but tough drill instructor probably had some hilarious stories of how he used to mind f*ck Marine recruits.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
I ordered a double whiskey you miserable puke! (Source: WB/ Screenshot)

Also Read: 7 life lessons we learned from Gunny Highway in ‘Heartbreak Ridge’

9. Maverick (Top Gun)

Who else would be your wingman at the bar, fly inverted, and then go buzz the tower during the after party with you?

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Who would be on your list of drinking buddies? Comment below.

Lists

8 pickup lines every Marine should know by heart

Every night, single Marines of all ages and sizes travel to their local social spots to talk to prospective mates in the hopes of scoring a phone number or two.


If you do muster the courage to walk up to someone only to forget how to speak correct English, just remember one of these epic pickup lines.

Then, thank us later.

Related: 26 best Navy SEAL porn names and movie titles

Check out eight pickup lines every Marine should know by heart. Use these valuable lines for good and never for evil.

8. “Hey honey, are you a five-paragraph order? Because I wanna SMEAC that behind with my fireproof glove.”

Then, they’ll probably break down what a “five-paragraph order” is composed of like a true Devil Dog.

7. “Hey cutie, you can hang out in my foxhole anytime.”

Since digging a foxhole takes a lot of time, this is actually a sweet gesture.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Probably took these grunts a while to dig this one.

6. “If you want, later I can show you how we ‘flank the rear’ in the infantry.”

It’s not as hard as you would think.

5. “I’ve been a Marine aviator for years, would you care to see my ‘vertical lift-off?'”

We know that’s possible, especially in a harrier — wait! We get it now.

4. “Do you want me to show you the difference between a rifle and a gun?”

One’s for fighting, and one’s for fun.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

3. “Did you ever serve in the Marines? Because you’re hotter than an M240 barrel on a full cyclic.”

If they know what an “M240” is or what “cyclic” really means, you should marry them right away.

2. “I hope your parents are JAG officers because it’s illegal to look that good.”

Probably our favorite in the cheesy category.

Also Read: 6 signs she is more in love with your contract than you

1. “Would you like to see how to break down my rifle, shotgun style?”

Note: Breaking down a rifle like a “shotgun” means your exposing your rifle’s internal components.

Bonus: “Hey girl, are you a flashbang? Because you’re stunning.”

This one’s actually not so bad…

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

Articles

9 reasons candidates are disqualified from military service

With sequestration and troop drawdowns forcing the military to record low levels of readiness, the requirements for joining the U.S. armed forces have become more stringent, and the pool of eligible recruits has become smaller. Out of the 34 million 17-24 year olds in the U.S. only 1 percent are both eligible and inclined to pursue military service, according to the Defense Department.


Here are the nine most common reasons civilians are disqualified from service:

1. Weight

Being overweight is the number one reason civilians are disqualified from joining the military, and it’s the only getting worse.

2. Education

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Having a diploma or GED is essential but with the military being more strict in their selection, having a GED doesn’t guarantee anything.

3. Can’t pass the ASVAB

The ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) exam determines what job you are eligible to perform in the military.

4. Failing Urinalysis / Drug use

5. Financial/Credit history

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Recruiters will be concerned about your ability to stay focused on the mission if you have too much debt or financial stress on low junior grade pay.

6. Medical history

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Doctors will evaluate your physical readiness to ensure you can meet the physical demands of serving.

7. Gauges: Holes in ears

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

More of  the members of today’s generation are expressing their individuality in various and extreme ways, and that could be grounds for disqualification.

8. Tattoos

Even though the Army has recently relaxed their tattoo policy, tattoos on your neck, hands, and face are still not authorized.

9. Criminal record

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names

If you have a history with the law it’s important you be up front about it rather than lie and have it come up in your background check later.

To see if you meet the requirements, click here for the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard.

Articles

9 examples of the military’s dark humor

It’s not unusual for troops to have a nonchalant or comical attitude about the worst of humanity. Sometimes comedy is all they have to make it through hardships that are unimaginable to most, and those who have deployed to remote locations and hot zones know this all too well.


It’s a mechanism to keep their sanity in the midst of snipers, ambushes, and IEDs, according to an article in Esquire. Sometimes the worse a situation gets, the more they laugh. One thing is for sure, troops go to comical heights to cope with the hand they’re dealt.

Here are nine examples of dark humor in the military:

1. Santa Visit to the Korengal Valley 07

YouTube, TheFightingMarines

2. Marine uses megaphone to call out insurgents. (live leak videos may not appear on all devices)

LiveLeak video

3. “Shoot him.”

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Pinterest

4. Wait for the flash.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Pinterest

5. Getting shot at by single shot Freddy.

YouTube, RestrepoTheMovie

6. Troops pretending to be insurgents. (live leak videos may not appear on all devices)

Liveleak video

7. Here’s how EOD technicians prank each other.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Pinterest

8. Robots driving an APC.

Items the military refuses to call by their proper names
Photo: Pinterest

9. This bored Marine wants to play with insurgents.

YouTube, danr9595

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