I’ve always wondered how Independence Day came to be known colloquially as “the 4th of July.” No other holiday is ever referred to by the date on which it falls. Despite the ongoing War on Christmas, you never hear anyone saying, “Happy 25th of December!”
Or “Happy Last Thursday In November!”
It’s just weird.
What’s not weird is getting sick of tea and opting to drink coffee to kickstart the whole “experiment in democracy” thing, then celebrating it every July 4th with copious amounts of beer, burgers, and explosives.
If you still have your thumbs, give two of them up to these dank memes. Happy 6th of July!
But it’s gonna be WAY harder this time around, guys.
Then reuse them at IHOP on Veterans Day.
You know it’s love if she responds.
Cool down with three beers and three beers only.
Because most of you can’t get pregnant.
Guns are difficult, too.
One more reason not to drink tea.
And it’s full of 12 horses’ poop.
“You were special to the Taliban. Now they’re dead. I guess it was me you should have impressed.”
I’m flying to my recruiter.