5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage - We Are The Mighty
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5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

US Navy ships that take brutal hits often don’t return, but every once in awhile they bounce back from the damage. 

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Oliver Hazard Perry’s battle flag hangs in Memorial Hall at the United States Naval Academy.

 


James Lawrence said, “don’t give up the ship” during the last fight of USS Chesapeake in 1813, and those words were emblazoned on Oliver Hazard Perry’s battle flag during the U.S. Navy’s decisive victory in the Battle of Lake Erie. That sentiment has proved to be very wise on the fighting seas since then. While the damage done to HSV-2 Swift in a recent attack looks bad, some US Navy ships have taken much worse and returned to active service.

Here are 5 examples:

1. USS San Francisco (SSN 711)

 

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

In the early morning hours of January 8, 2005, the fast attack submarine collided with a seamount that was not labeled on the charts the crew was using, suffering severe damage to the bow and killing one crew member and injuring 98 others. Despite the horrific-looking damage, San Francisco was repaired and will stay in the undersea inventory until sometime next year.

2. USS Cole (DDG 67)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

 

On October 12, 2000, two Islamic militants detonated as much as 700 pounds of explosive against the hull of the vessel. Seventeen sailors were killed, 39 injured. The Cole suffered a 40-by-60-foot gash in the port hull and suffered some flooding. Despite the damage, the frigate was back in service in less than three years, and today is part of the fleet.

3. USS Samuel B. Roberts (FFG 58) ship

 

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

The USS Samuel B. Roberts came close to sinking after hitting an Iranian mine on April 14, 1988. The mine’s explosion damaged the ship’s keel, “breaking her back,” and threw the LM2500 gas turbine engines off their mounts. The ship was carried back to the United States for repairs and returned to service, sticking around for another 27 years after the attack.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

4. USS Stark (FFG 31)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

 

USS Stark also came back from horrific damage. On May 17, 1987, the frigate was hit by two AM-39 Exocet anti-ship missiles fired by an Iraqi jet (reports disagree as to whether it was a Mirage F1 or a Dassault Falcon). The two hits killed 37 sailors and wounded 21 more. The Stark managed to get back to the United States for repairs and remained part of the fleet until 1999.

5. USS Laffey (DD 724) ship

 

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

World War II offers some classic stories of ships that came back. USS Laffey (DD 724) is the most notable, having survived four bomb hits and six kamikazes. Laffey not only survived but went on to serve with the United States during the Korean War and stayed in service until 1975. The destroyer eventually became a museum in South Carolina.

The wisdom of James Lawrence’s final command is readily apparent. The history of these five ships should rebut those who think the Swift’s had it.

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8 best examples of nonsensical ‘military logic’

Military logic is like military intelligence; it seems like an oxymoron until you realize it just follows its own — very weird — rules.


But sometimes, there’s just no way to read the rules that makes sense, and you’re left with these eight moments:

1. Just going to break these new boots in before we get into contact …

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
In other news, never use your fighting load carrier in a fight and avoid getting into combat in the Army combat uniform.

2. In the Air Force’s defense, airmen have a better history of success with planes than dates.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Don’t talk to the cheerleader; save the world.

3. Come on, he left the pin in it.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Alright, gonna go work on my college courses after just one more game.

4. In their defense, every bag that wasn’t laid out was inevitably incomplete on target.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
So, this one might be on the joes, not the generals.

5. What they really mean is that it’s too simple to make a good evaluation bullet.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Better complicate it up and turn it into a mind-numbing PowerPoint deck. (via America’s Sgt Maj.)

6. Oh, the quaint old days when the jets cost only $70 million.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
The F-35 will take aerial warfare into the future of ridiculous overmatch.

7. What if a truck comes by and can’t see the soldiers in their fancy camouflage?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Also, are we not going to talk about why we need to rake the dirt in the first place?

8. Long drives are dangerous, that’s why you should only do them in large convoys at night in tactical conditions.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Let’s be honest, he’s just trying to limit the first sergeant has to drive to pick up all the troops hit with DUIs.

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11 insider insults sailors say to each other

Sailors have unique ways to get under each other’s skin.


A comment that may seem harmless to an outsider might be a jab to a shipmate. Just add the word “SHIPMATE” to the insult to take it to the next level. Consider yourself warned and use the following sailor insults at your own risk:

140 sailors go down, 70 couples come back.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Submariners hate this one, used by surface sailors to mock submariners going on deployment.

“Unsat”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

“Unsat” is short for unsatisfactory. This is not derogatory, but sailors hate the term being used to describe their work, something they did, their appearance — anything. When the chief says, “Shipmate, your haircut is unsat,” sailors know they’d better do something about it.

B.U.B.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Stands for ‘Barely Useful Body.’ Sometimes used in a derogatory manner, but sometimes used to describe someone who’s been injured or physically unable to perform 100 percent. Either way, it hurts the ego.

The Bulls–t flag

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

This is an imaginary flag someone raises when they believe that what you’re saying is pure bulls–t. It’s usually phrased, “I am raising the bulls–t flag on that one.”

Buttshark

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Navy

Otherwise known as a brown-noser or butt snorkeler. This is a person who tries too hard to buddy up with another – usually a superior – to gain favor.

Check Valve

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Navy

Also known as a “one-way check valve.” This is a term used mostly by submariners and surface ship snipes to describe someone who does things for him or herself but doesn’t reciprocate.

C.O.B.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

This one has several different derogatory meanings to describe the senior enlisted person aboard a ship: Chief of the Boat, Crabby Old Bastard, and Clueless Overweight Bastard.

F.L.O.B.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

It stands for Freeloading Oxygen Breather. This is a term mostly used by submariners to describe someone who is not carrying their share of the load.

“How’s your wife and my kids?”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: Seaman David Brandenburg/US Navy

A phrase used to get under the skin of sailors from opposite crews.

Joe Navy

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

A derogatory term used for a lifer with no life outside the Navy who engages in a lot of buttsharking.

Pecker Checker

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

This is the official, unofficial term used to describe a Navy doctor or corpsman. Sailors know better than to address the doc this way before a physical.

By no means is this a complete list, so feel free to add more terms in the comments below.

Lists

Here’s what it’s like when Special Forces raid a compound

Few groups in the U.S. military are as revered as Army Special Forces. They slip into other countries and work with the locals to build up friendly forces and take down enemies. Here’s what it looks like when they strike a compound.


1. Operators prepare for the insertion, rehearsing if possible, before getting into their vehicles or transportation.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Staff Sgt. Shane Hamann

2. The soldiers then move to the target area. Walking allows them to move up quietly, but riding in ground vehicles or helicopters can allow them to strike quickly without warning.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Special Forces candidates ride to a compound during training at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Photo: US Army Sgt. Justin P. Morelli

3. The Special Forces soldiers insert as quickly as they can, trying to get into a combat footing before the enemy can respond to their arrival.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Special Forces candidates fast rope out of a UH-60 Blackhawk during training. Photo: US Army Sgt. Justin P. Morelli

4. The soldiers then move to their entry point and prepare to breach.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
A Special Forces soldier attaches a breaching charge to a door during training. Photo: US Army Visual Information Specialist Ruediger Hess

5. Once they’re through the door, they start securing the target buildings.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Sgt. 1st Class Silas Toney

6. Multi-story buildings in a compound have to be searched floor-by-floor. Whenever possible, they try to work from the top down.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Sgt. 1st Class Silas Toney

7. Soldiers pull security on the perimeter so the enemy can’t come in behind the SF team.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Sgt. 1st Class Silas Toney

8. Most of the operators carry rifles, but they bring some larger weapons like the Carl Gustav recoilless rifle with them to destroy enemy vehicles or shoot through some walls.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Sgt. Justin Morelli

9. Once the compound has been taken, soldiers have to pull security to prevent an enemy counterattack while the team is still on the ground.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Spc. Sara Wakai

10. After searching the compound for intelligence and weapons, the operators will make their way back out of the compound.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Special Forces candidates maneuver out of a compound during training. Photo: US Army Sgt. Justin P. Morelli

11. If an enemy has been taken captive, they’ll be removed with the team back to the helicopter or vehicles.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Special Forces operators drag a simulated captive off an objective during training. Photo: US Army Sgt. 1st Class Silas Toney

12. The security teams stay at the edges of the compound until the last possible moment so the team remains safe from a counterattack.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: US Army Sgt. Daniel Love

13. When they make it back to their transportation, the SF operators will leave the compound.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Special Forces candidates climb into a Blackhawk helicopter as they depart a compound at the end of a training mission. Photo: US Army Sgt. Justin P. Morelli

14. The team will then study any intelligence they’ve collected and question any prisoners taken in the operation. The new intelligence will generate new missions and raids.

NOW: The definitive guide to US special ops

OR: Here’s what it looks like when paratroopers jump out of a helicopter

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13 hobbies veterans recommend for dealing with stress

After over a decade as an enlisted infantry Marine, my husband jumped ship and crossed over to the dark side as an officer.


When he made the switch, two things happened: he found himself stressed studying more than ever before, and he found himself absolutely bored out of his ever-loving mind in between training classes to become a Marine pilot.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Col. John Kent, the deputy commanding officer of Madigan Army Medical Center prepares the wort chiller for entrance into the boiled wort during a home beer brewing session at his home in DuPont Wash., Feb. 25, 2017.

In a moment of serious desperation, he took to Facebook to plead with his veteran buddies to share their favorite hobbies for dealing with stress and boredom, and they did not disappoint.

In no particular order, here are 13 hobbies these veterans recommend for dealing with stress:

1. Woodworking

Here’s what Newt Anderson wrote: “I recommend woodworking. Start simple, carving. Otherwise you could go down the road of coloring books! You would be surprised how relaxing both can be. A good set of woodworking tools is a must though. Don’t skimp on those or the blisters you get will make you regret it.”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Stefano De Bortoli, 31st Force Support Squadron wood hobby shop manager, blows sawdust off a piece of wood, March 24, 2015, at Aviano Air Base, Italy.

2. Beer Making

David Sap recommended beer making. Mr. Beer carries a pretty wide variety of starter kits for brewing your own beer, and they claim to be simple, clean, and time efficient. Which is great, because time efficient means more time to brew more beer. Where are my peanuts?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo Credit: Streetwear Deals

3. Quad Racing

“Quad racing. You should check out Tiny Whoop.” Lucy Goosy

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Not *quite* what we had in mind, but you do you. (Photo: US Army Staff Sgt. Jason Hull)

4. Running

Brad Etzweiler and Titus Vanguard both recommended running.

Nothing says “I’m stressed about flight school and the fact that I’m old and fat and can’t run as fast as these boots in my class anymore and I study too much and I also need a stress reliever,” like running a triathlon. Right? RIGHT??

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

5. Kayaking

Gilberto Burbante recommended kayaking. One summer I tried kayaking in white water. As it turns out, I cannot breathe under water and also I suck at kayaking.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
A kayak football player speedily turns his kayak during one of the kayak football games in the tournament held at Naval Support Activity Bethesda’s Fitness Center pool March 12. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communications Specialist 2nd Class Hank Gettys/released)

6. Pole Dancing

Hales Fuller fully supports pole dancing as an extracurricular. I am immensely interested in seeing my husband do this. *runs away to install a pole*

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
It’s harder than it looks. (Photo via Flickr user Matteo Schmidt | CC BY-ND 2.0)

7. RC Racing

“RC car racing. I enjoy it and still cheaper then the real thing. It gets addicting though and then you spend the money.” Jack Burton is right, though — it looks expensive.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
RC cars ready to race. (Photo via wiki user Itrados)

8. Guitar

My father-in-law, James Foley, (a retired Master Guns and Viet Nam vet) recommended my husband learn to play guitar. I have no objections.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Carrie Gatz, an instrumentalist with the 566th Air Force Band, Illinois Air National Guard, plays guitar for a hospice patient at her civilian job Sept. 11, 2013. 

9. BBQing

“Buy you a smoker — time off, smoke ribs and stuff,” wrote Ryan Clay. Bob Waldren agreed, “I second this. Go hunting and get yourself a few Florida bucks.”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Nothing brings people together quite like firing up the grill. (Photo via wiki user Gbleem)

10. All the water sports in Florida

Phil John wrote, “Jet ski. [You pay the] initial cost for the ski but then you’re just paying gas. We love ours! Also, spear fishing is a blast. Paddle boarding/ kayaking is great.”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Racing scene at the German Championship 2007 in a jet ski race on the Elbe, Krautsand. (Photo via wiki user Backlit)

11. Do you even lift, Bro?

My brother-n-law Chuck, also a Marine, recommended lifting. Get thine arse to a gym, brah.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
U.S. Marine Gunnery Sgt. Julian Fyffe does arm curls during physical training aboard the USS Makin Island (LHD8), Feb. 8. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Brandon Maldonado)

12. Learn a new language

In addition to lifting, Chuck recommended learning a new language. Homeboy already speaks some Spanish, Farsi, and something else — Arabic maybe?

Extra credit for swear words.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
A U.S. Navy chaplain, right, studies English with an Afghan girl during a volunteer session May 27, 2013, at the Cat in the Hat Language Arts Center at Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. (DoD photo by Erica Fouche, U.S. Army)

13. Get your sophistication on

Aside from running, Titus Vanguard also recommended, “Books. Read books and run… you are an officer now.” Adulting is hard.

Dr. Seuss is on the Commandant’s Reading List, right?

Screw it. Where’s that beer brewing thing at?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Command Sgt. Maj. Patrick McKie, U.S. Army Support Activity Fort Dix command sergeant major, visited New Hanover Township Elementary in Wrightstown, New Jersey March 2 for Read Across America.

How do you relieve stress? Leave a comment and let us know!

Lists

5 reasons why lower enlisted prefer the gut truck over the cook

Cooks in the military try their hardest. If you befriend them, they’ll always find a way to slide a few extra slices of bacon your way. But no matter how close you get with the cook in your unit, you’re always going to swing by the gut truck when they arrive.


For those not in the know, gut trucks (or “roach coaches”) are like a civilian food truck except that their menu doesn’t need to be elaborate to attract customers. The bar for quality is set at “better than a scoop of powdered eggs.”

And it’s nothing personal — hell, even the cooks will skip their own food to grab a breakfast burrito from the gut truck. Why?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Doesn’t matter what time it is; they got you.

(Photo by Maj. Wayne Clyne)

They can be ordered on speed dial

If you want to grab chow from the dining facility, you have to go to them. If you’re in the field and the cooks joined you for the morning, you still have to go to their stand.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re at the battalion area, the motor pool, or the back 40 in a field exercise — the gut truck is just a quick call away.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

There might be healthy options. No one knows for sure because no one ever orders it.

(Photo by Ens. Jacob Kotlarski)

They have all the POG bait

Coffee isn’t known for its quality in the military. Yeah, it’ll get you up in the morning, but that’s about it. If you want an energy drink or some junk food, you’ll need to bring it with you.

Don’t worry. That retired Sgt. Maj. who realized how much money is blown on junk food every day has you covered. The truck is always fully stocked.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Everyone from the lowliest private to the commanding general is treated to the same fatty, delicious burger.

(Photo by Spc. James Wilton)

They’re faster — even if the lines are longer

Food trucks work on civilian time. To them, more customers means more money. Now, don’t get this twisted — we know military cooks are giving it their all.

Food trucks simply don’t allow high-ranking officers and NCOs to play rock, paper, chevrons and cut the line to ask for an extremely complicated custom order that backs the line up. (If you or someone you know does this, know that troops talk sh*t behind their or your back.)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Gut truck drivers know that throwing out that much bacon is fraud, waste, abuse… and just not cool.

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Ben Navratil)

The food is always plentiful, hot, and ready

Gut trucks over stock with food before heading out and they have a good idea of how many troops they’ll be feeding. If they don’t have the breakfast burrito you wanted, they’ll have tons of whatever else you’re thinking of.

Conversely, cooks will ration every last piece of bacon like it’s the end of the world only to throw tubs of it away at the end of the meal.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

Who ever read that comment card at the end of the DFAC and implemented it is a real American hero.

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Ben Navratil)

Even cooks caught on to how awesome gut trucks are

See the cover photo at the top of this article? That’s actually not a civilian-owned gut truck. That’s actually a military food truck from the 3rd Infantry Division Sustainment Brigade as part of a test to judge troop reception. And so far, it’s working!

The cooks caught on to what works best for troops in the field and, unlike civilian trucks, these accept the meal-card given to the soldiers in the barracks. It serves all the stuff that troops want — with a little less tasty, tasty junk.

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13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 18th

The other guy, Logan Nye, is deploying to go do some Hooah sh*t for Uncle Sam. Hope nothing big happened this week…


Ah. Sh*t. Well then.

Here are some memes to help you forget that you didn’t make the promotion list and as the possibility of WWIII — or Civil War II — increases daily.

13. Give her a break. Her bumper sticker says she has the hardest job in the military.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

12. Nothing sweeter than that first burger stateside.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

11. Um…they’re both laying around when there’s work to do? Yeah. Let’s go with that.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Decelerate Your Life)

10. The only way CQ or Staff Duty is less sh*tty is if one of your boys says there’s a “problem” you have to go check on.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Marine Corps Memes)

9. I hope that burden of responsibility weighs the f*ck out of you.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(via Pop Smoke)

8. I still never figured out the proper response to civilians thanking me.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via The Salty Soldier)

7.  We hear you talking all tough behind a computer screen.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Air Force AMN/NCO/SNCO)

6. Best part of the stupid velcro patches the Army had? We weren’t stuck with crap patches sold off-post.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

5. Say “Roger.” Move on. And wait until your ETS.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Sh*t my LPO Says)

4. Brig and other NJPs have got to suck but hey, at least there’s a consolation prize for that dude that hid in the engine room!

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

3. There ain’t nothing in the world 100-MPH tape, 550 cord, and a “F*ck it” attitude can’t fix!

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Did you know that apparently E-3s and below in the Naval Aviation field are called Airmen? (Via Sh*t My LPO Says)

2. 10/10 Would promote ahead of peers!

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via USAWTFM)

1. It’s impossible for Neo-Nazis to be proud Americans when 405,399 Americans died and 1,076,245 were wounded in battle fighting Nazi scum and their allies.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

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The 7 scariest weapons Russia is developing right now

While Russia’s military is struggling in many ways, the Kremlin is working hard to fix it. With a new ballistic missiles, new submarines launching from shipyards, and the world’s newest tank, Russia looks to be modernizing as fast as it can. If the modernization program survives Russia’s economic woes, here are seven new weapon systems that will likely be completed.


1. New nuclear submarines

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
A current-generation Russian diesel submarine. Photo: Wikimedia Commons/ Russian International News Agency (RIA Novosti)

In addition to building more of their brand new, fourth-generation submarines, Russia is already planning a fifth-generation sub. Details on the fifth-generation are slowly being fleshed out, but Russia wants the subs to network with each other and underwater drones, use onboard robotics for certain tasks, and feature a new nuclear reactor.

2. Hypersonic missiles

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
A model of the BrahMos II, Russian-Indian hypersonic missile under joint development. Photo: Youtube.com

Russia’s hypersonic missile program has been plagued by failed tests, but it still has potential. The Yu-71 would be able to fly unpredictable patterns to its targets at speeds of 7,000 miles per hour, piercing air defenses. While the U.S. also has a hypersonic program, the U.S. missiles are designed for conventional warheads while Russia’s call for nuclear capabilities.

Russia is also jointly-developing the BrahMos II hypersonic cruise missile with India.

3. A stealthy, heavy-lift strategic bomber

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Russia’s new bomber will borrow technology from its new fighter, the Sukhoi T-50. Photo: Wikipedia/Alex Beltyukov

The PAK-DA is expected to be subsonic with a range of 7,500 miles and capable of carrying a payload of about 30 tons. It’s a huge step down from Russia’s original plans for a hypersonic bomber, but it may be stealthy enough to get cruise missiles into range against carriers and other targets.

4. An “off switch” for enemy communications and weapons guidance

An electronic warfare system in development supposedly allows Russia to shut off any approaching threats, everything from NATO ships to missiles to future hypersonic weapons. If successfully launched on planes and ships, it could also be used to shut down enemy defenses during a Russian attack.

5. New air defense missiles

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Aleksey Toritsyn

While the S-300 is in the news right now, the S-500 would be two generations beyond it. The S-500 is expected to be capable of engaging five to ten ballistic missiles at once and even hitting low-orbit satellites. It will be able to move between engagements, avoiding counter attacks.

6. Lasers

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
The USS Ponce’s laser weapon. Photo: YouTube

Russia claims its laser program is on the same level as the U.S., but the system is fully classified. If accurate, it would mean that Russia’s lasers are capable or nearly capable of taking out enemy vehicles, drones, and boats, all weapons systems America relies on.

7. Aircraft carriers

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
The current Russian carrier, the Admiral Kuznetsov. Photo: Mil.ru

Russia’s carrier prospects are dicey, but if the ship makes it to the sea it will be much better than their current carrier. Roughly the same size as a U.S. Nimitz carrier, it would have 4 launching positions and an air wing of 80-90 aircraft.

NOW: A Russian company is selling shipping containers packed with cruise missiles

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13 funniest military memes for the week of Oct. 14

All the best military memes, distilled down to these 13 funniest.


1. Hey, a lightning strike would probably get you a decent profile for a few days, as well (via The Salty Soldier).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

2. Spraying each other with the hose isn’t funny when the pressure could tear a hole in the MOPP gear (via Military Memes).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
No horseplay during chemical attacks.

3. Why no American allies like American MREs:

(via Australian Warfighters)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Sorry, Australia. That stuff really messes up your down unders.

SEE ALSO: The US Navy strikes back after dodging rebel missiles off of Yemen

4. $15 isn’t bad for custom food in the field (via Military Memes).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
And you could label all your crayons, so no other Marines eat them.

5. “Sir, we’re definitely walking in circles. That guy who keeps turning around ahead of us? That’s our rear security.”

(via Military Memes)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

6. Gotta keep those buoys Semper Paratus:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Buoy tending isn’t glamorous, but someone has to do it.

7. You’ll never escape. There aren’t even any discharge papers in that maze (via Military Memes).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Aint no discharge in the maze, ain’t no discharge on the ground, ain’t no discharge all around.

8. “Wouldn’t it be great if there were an animal patrolling with us whose primary skill is puking hairballs and showing off its butt?”

(via Military Memes)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

9. Everyone’s greatest hope during firewatch is that the drill instructor would talk to the other guard (via Team Non-Rec).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

10. He’s going to spend hours pointing out everything you did wrong (via The Salty Soldier).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Wouldn’t it be great to see this dog discussing an incident with an MP military working dog? Like, I would watch a TV show of an all-dog military just dealing with random, garrison shenanigans.

11. Soldiers will make fun of you for being weak and coddled …

(via The Salty Soldier)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
… while being secretly jealous of how much you are coddled.

12. The best part is that first formation isn’t until 0500 (via The Salty Soldier).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
And SP is at 0900.

13. Just. Make. It. Stop. (via The Salty Soldier)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

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13 funniest military memes for the week of Feb. 17

The week is over, but the memes are neverending. Check out 13 of our favorite military memes of the week below:


1. This woobie is my woobie, and we have seen unspeakable things together (via Pop smoke).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Just take the statement of charges, dude. It’s worth it.

2. “Build a wall over the tunnel!”

(via Military World)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Yeah, that doesn’t stop Marines.

3. The flight line plays by its own rules. Like criminal gangs do (via Air Force Memes Humor).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

ALSO SEE: The CIA just declassified these 11 Russian jokes about the Soviet Union

4. Admit it, when you’re in contact, you would rather those Chair Force fellows were in the chairs than in the gym (via Military Memes).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Course, they could go practice some ruck marching when they’re off duty.

5. Dream away, fellows. Dream away (via Pop smoke).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Take a look at the age of that baby. You left her newly pregnant when you deployed and thought you would come back to her full of energy?

6. First sergeants were trying to save your life, Bubba (via Team Non-Rec).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Also would have helped if you kept your dang feet dry, like L-T told you to.

7. Oh yeah, sir? Those were your accomplishments?

(via Shit my LPO says)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Guess I’ll just go over here and keep typing your reports for you.

8. Just give it some liberty, man. Those claws look sharp (via Pop smoke).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Maybe throw in some donut holes for free.

9. D-mnit, Carl. You never learned to secure your weapon? (via Military World)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Guess who’s going swimming?

10. When you find out where Jodie goes after the housing area:

(via The Salty Soldier)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

11. Turns me on (via NavyMemes.com).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Haze grey and underway.

12. Ummmm … I’m fine, bro. Keep your motivation to yourself (via The Salty Soldier).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
And if that cadence caller could shut up, too, that’d be great.

13. You can tell the safety NCO is phoning it in when:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Maybe keep some water bottles handy for the foreseeable future.

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13 funniest memes for the week of April 7

Tomahawks are flying, tensions are rising, and we’re just over here collecting memes and giggling. Here are 13 of our favorite funny military memes from this week, starting with a little shout out to the ships that conducted the strikes:


1. Congrats to the Navy for getting to set off some fireworks last night (via Weapons of Meme Destruction).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
But y u no shoot more?

2. Digital security is important (via Team Non-Rec).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
ISIS is coming for you with stock photos of models.

ALSO READ: The only time the Soviet Union officially fought the US was in brutal air combat

3. Navy Capt. Bender got the hookers out before the NCIS raid began (via Military World).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Best. Cruise. Ever.

4. You’ve got to earn that nap time by holding up that book she’s going to read to you (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

5. If it’s stupid but it works … actually, this is still stupid (via Coast Guard Memes).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Would love to the new safety briefing when this goes awry.

6. Poor Jody never gets any respect (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
#JodiesServeToo

7. Grade-A, Tier-One killers (via Devil Dog Nation).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Just make sure they’re home before dark.

8. Every paratrooper’s spirit animal on a Saturday jump (via Military World).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Unless it’s a Chinook, Sherpa, or foreign jump. Then, it’s all smiles all around.

9. Shut up, POG (via Pop smoke).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
POGs who wish they weren’t POGs are 1,000 percent more likely to call people POGs than an infantryman is.

10. Yeah. This is worth the next four years of my life (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
Career counselors are basically Mephistopheles made flesh (Google it, then print one out and tape it to the career counselor’s door).

11. “Potato” isn’t too shabby (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

12. Good ol’ National Training Center (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
So many great memories there.

13. You’ll never run faster than when you’re told you don’t have to run that morning (via The Salty Soldier).

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
One word. One syllable. So many feelings.

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35 technical errors in ‘Rules of Engagement’

“Rules of Engagement” starring Samuel L. Jackson and Tommy Lee Jones showed audiences intense military courtroom drama and the unbreakable bond that develops between two Marines in combat.


But it didn’t get everything right. While WATM has picked apart everything from “The Hurt Locker” to “Top Gun,” we figured it was worth digging into the technical errors here as well. There’s plenty this film accurately depicts. These are 35 times where they got it wrong.

Also read: 9 military movie scenes where Hollywood got it totally wrong

1:47 Why does Childers have a smoke grenade right on the shoulder he fires from? You might want to put that on your non-firing side. You can actually see him struggle a bit when he tries to put his rifle into his shoulder.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

4:30 After Hodges’ platoon hears enemy fire on Childers’ position, they just stand around in the middle of a swamp. It might be a good idea to get down behind some cover or turn outward to investigate.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

(Before we hit the next ones, let’s explain proper radio procedures. When calling up another unit over the radio, the procedure is “You, this is me, here’s what I want to say, over.” Like: “Bravo 6, this is Bravo 2, what’s your position? Over.”)

4:32 Radio operator says, “Delta two, what’s your SITREP over?” Then he says “Delta One, Delta Two, SITREP, over.” In the first transmission, he’s implying he’s Delta One, and asking Delta Two for a report. Then in the next, he calls them Delta One, and he says he’s Delta Two.

4:40 He gets a response back from the other radio operator which explains that Childers’ platoon is Delta Two, and Hodges’ is Delta One: “Two, one, contact, over.” This response also deserves the Capt. Obvious award. The other platoon might want to know where the other platoon is so they can help.

4:48 What’s the deal with this NVA soldier behind no cover in the middle of a firefight, not aimed in, just sitting there? That is up until the last moment when he decides to aim at the Americans and then he gets immediately shot.

5:30 The other platoon has literally not moved from their original position. Cover and/or concealment aren’t really a concern. Then of course, 10 seconds later the NVA starts shooting.

6:22 Hodges picks up the radio, calls no one in particular, then says “Other side of the tree line. I’m in the water unable to withdraw.” There are a lot of trees out there, brah. Can you give us a better description so we can help you?

6:28 He continues: “Unable to withdraw! I’m calling in a fire mission on this position.” Who the hell is he talking to? And how is artillery going to drop when they don’t have a grid, distance, direction, or anything other than “hey I’m by this tree line and there’s water.”

6:35 “Hurry up and drop that f—king arty!” he says, to no one in particular, to whom he’s given no information on where it should be dropped. In fairness, he’s under a bit of stress.

7:11 When Childers kills the Vietnamese radio operator with his 1911 .45 caliber pistol, it makes the same sound an M1 Garand makes when it’s out of ammo. This makes no sense.

9:38 Col. Hodges apparently is like, “screw this. I’m not getting a haircut anymore.”

9:49 Hodges puts on his garrison cap like he’s a private just learning how to wear it at boot camp. Not an officer with 32 years of service.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

10:20 Hodges’ marksmanship badges are out toward the sides. They are supposed to be centered over the pocket with only 3/4-inch space between them.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

10:37 Pretty much everyone has this problem.

11:12 Col. Childers also hates Marine Corps haircuts.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

11:47 Childers retells the story of Marine Lt. Presley O’Banion, which is pretty close to Lt. Presley O’Bannon.

14:30 The 24th MEU is on the USS Wake Island. However, the USS Wake Island (CVE-65) was a World War II escort carrier commissioned in 1943 and decommissioned in 1946.

15:09 The Wake Island’s captain wears a hat that says USS Wake Island (LHA-7). LHA-7, which is the newly-commissioned USS Tripoli, didn’t exist at the time of this movie.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

15:16 Col. Childers has a subdued American flag on his shoulder. This is an Army thing. Marines don’t ever wear this (although it’s possible a MEU commander could say otherwise).

15:45 I know this would kill the rest of the movie and courtroom drama, but why is the MEU Commander, a colonel, going on a TRAP (tactical recovery of aircraft and personnel) mission? There’s a captain in charge of the mission who is more than capable.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

18:17 The two Marine CH-46 helicopters just turned into Army CH-47 helicopters.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

19:19 After hearing the command of “lock and load” in the helicopter, the Marine closest to the camera hits his magazine first on his helmet, then jams it into his weapon, thus perpetuating the myth to future troops that this move is ever acceptable or even necessary.

22:10 Col. Childers is wearing his silver rank centered on his flak jacket under his neck. This isn’t where it is placed, and officers and enlisted alike wear black-colored rank when in the field. Unless they enjoy being shot by snipers. Then by all means, keep it there.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

22:22 The Marine Security Guards on the roof are wielding Mossberg 590 Combat shotguns to defend the embassy. What?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

27:16 So he’s an ambassador and he likely doesn’t have any clue, but he ends up giving the worst salute ever. And it makes us laugh every time.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

29:00 After Capt. Lee and Col. Childers have their disagreement over whether there are weapons in the crowd, Capt. Lee finally relents and orders his men: “Engage! Engage! Open fire!”

They then proceed to all jump out from behind cover, take a knee, and spray and pray all over the place into the crowd. This is seconds after snipers were shooting at them from across the way.

29:05 That light machine-gun you think is an M249 SAW is actually a Korean-made Daewoo K3 light machine gun.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

29:42 Col. Childers displays great leadership by example by standing up exposed and yelling to his men, “There may still be snipers out there. Stay down!”

38:57 The general says “we’ve got a trial in two weeks” to Maj. Biggs, although previously, at 36:20, Gen. Perry tells Childers that the court-martial convenes in 8 days.

45:42 Hey, let’s have a meeting to discuss our legal case in a gym where a bunch of Marines are wrestling.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

1:35:50 As evening colors begins, a bunch of people are not standing at the position of attention, to include the Marines who are part of the color detail.

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

1:38:42 When asked about his citation for the Navy Cross, Col. Childers just repeats back what is the typical ending of the award, which tells nothing more of why he received it: “for conspicuous gallantry in the face of great personal danger, reflecting great credit upon himself, the United States Marine Corps and the Naval Service.”

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

1:58:56 Earlier in the movie, Col. Hodges asks Maj. Biggs what the life expectancy was for a second lieutenant dropped into a hot landing zone in Vietnam in 1968. Biggs guesses two weeks, then at end of the movie he says one week, to which Hodges finally reveals the answer of “sixteen minutes.” Based on Vietnam casualty data, this statistic is not even mathematically possible.

1:59:21 It’s Camp Lejeune. It has big fences around it. So why is there a huge crowd of reporters standing right outside a military courtroom?

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage

2:00:05 Col. Childers goes and walks right between a formation and the platoon sergeant. Thanks a lot, sir!

It gets way worse…

CHECK OUT: ‘The Marine’, which packs a record number of technical errors into the first five minutes

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5 animals that became paratroopers

What, you think only humans can become paratroopers? Okay, so humans do lead most airborne operations but the military often brings along animals — everything from bats to bears — they think might be helpful in a target area.


Check out this list of animals who have conducted jump operations:

1. Dogs

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Vince Vander Maarel)

Being “man’s best friend” is a double-edged sword. While domestication has allowed dogs to spread across the entire planet and cohabitate with humans while other species were pushed out of our sprawling cities, it has also resulted in dogs having to help defend those habitations.

And since nearly the invention of airborne operations, dogs have defended those habitations via paratrooper insertions. The British brought parachuting dogs with them on D-Day and Navy SEALs and other special operators bring dogs with them on missions today.

2. Bears

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
GIF: US Air Force Archives

Yeah, airborne bears. Bet no one knew that was something they had to worry about. Luckily, bear paratroopers are pretty rare. Engineers working on the ejection capsules for B-58 Hustlers needed something to simulate a living human for tests after a bunch of bleeding hearts protested their use of poor people.

They settled on bears since their weight and dimensions were close enough to humans for the capsules to work similarly. At least six bears and one chimpanzee took the flight.

3. Beta fish

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Matthew Tattersall)

The “beta fish” title is singular for a reason. The military never sanctioned a beta fish airborne operation but Army Spc. Matthew Tattersall took “Willie Makeit” with him on a jump anyway, took a selfie in the air with the fish, and then landed. Willie was granted a meritorious name change to “Willie Did Makeit.”

Tattersall got extra duty. Sheesh, you would figure the man who single-handedly stood up the Airborne Beta Fish program would get more respect than that.

4. Bats

5 times US Navy ships returned to the fleet after severe damage
(Photo: National Park Service Nick Hristov)

Bats are probably the only animal on this list capable of conducting an entire airborne operation on their own (except for piloting the aircraft). The Army, then Navy, then Marine Corps experimented with dropping bats in specialized bomb casings that carried up to 1,040 bats a piece.

These bomb casings, and the bats inside, would parachute down to 1,000 feet before the bats disperse across the target area and begin actions on the objective. Their “actions on the objective” were to find a nice place to sleep and then go up in flames thanks to the incendiary devices on their legs.

5. Beavers

 

Beaver airborne operations were not military affairs, unlike these other entries. The idea to teach beavers to parachute started with a few researchers at the Idaho Department of Fish and Game which needed to establish new beaver colonies for fur production and watershed conservation in remote areas.

After horse and mule trains proved to be an expensive way to transport the beavers, the department decided to experiment with parachute operations. Seventy-five beavers ended up taking single-flights, but one beaver had to act as his species’ version of the test platoon. “Geronimo” conducted many experimental jumps before making his final, operational jump with three females to establish a colony.

So, yeah, there’s a decent chance that a polygamist beaver in Idaho had more jumps than you do.