7 reasons why 'Top Gun' made you want to become a fighter pilot - We Are The Mighty
Humor

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

The 1980s brought us some fantastic action movies like “Lethal Weapon” and “Die Hard,” which made movie-goers consider joining the police force.


When Tony Scott’s “Top Gun” landed in cinemas across the nation, it was an instant blockbuster, earning over 350 million worldwide according to box office mojo.

With the adrenaline-packed scenes the film offers, “Top Gun” audience members of all ages wanted to be the next Maverick.

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Jester’s dead! (Paramount)

Also Read: 5 heroic movie acts a military officer would never do

So check out these reasons why the average Joe would want to be the next great “Top Gun” fighter pilot.

1. Getting a kick-ass callsign

Face it — Maverick and Goose are pretty epic names — but be as original as possible if you get to pick yours.

2. Keeping up with foreign relations

Rarely do allied forces get close to their enemy on the battlefield, but to be inverted while sitting in a cockpit whilst flashing the grand FU gesture — that’s badass.

3. Attracting a hottie

There are many ways to pick up women at a squid bar. If you ever had an issue getting the girl as a civilian, we’ve got a solution: throw on that uniform.

Lady pilots, this works for you, too — just make sure you find a man who can appreciate a strong woman.

Oh, and don’t forget your wingman.

4. Wear aviator sunglasses

Nothing says “I am awesome” like putting on a blacked-out pair of aviators. This look never gets old.

5. Play shirtless volleyball

With arguably no real reason to be in the movie story-wise, the producers had some of Hollywood’s brightest stars in their film at the time and they took advantage.

It’s safe to say that no man, after watching Top Gun, doesn’t think about this scene while playing the popular beach sport.

6. Aerial Dogfighting

This is where the real ass kicking takes place. Naval aviators are some of the world’s best at aerial maneuvering to take down the enemy. All jokes aside, the dogfighting scenes are where the real motivation to be a fighter pilot begins.

Related: 7 kids who joined (even commanded) military units for a day

7. The theme song

We dare you to listen to this without getting amped or googling “how to become a fighter pilot”.

Can you think of any other? Comment below and let us know what your call-sign would be.
MIGHTY MOVIES

5 more military myths that Hollywood swears are true

Movies are badass! That’s why producers spend millions of dollars making them. Sometimes the films we watch are so freaking compelling audience members forget they watching a movie and believe everything they see.


We’re all guilty of falling for it.

Many moviegoers get sold on the narrative as the story unfolds across the big screen — even to the point where the performances feel real, and the delicate line between truth and fiction becomes too thin to spot.

Related: 5 epic military movie mistakes

We’re here to make sure you don’t fall for these 5 military myths.

1. Firing “the big guns” from the hip

We get that filmmakers want to make movie characters appear tough and strong, but the fact is movies can go way overboard.

It’s practically impossible to fire a mini-gun that weighs in around 85 pounds from the hip. Typically, this weapon system is fired from a fixed and controlled position.

Nice try, Hollywood.

2. Silencers turn rifles into a mouse farts

You know that soft “pew” sound Hollywood sniper rifles make? Yeah, they aren’t as quiet as movies would have you believe.

What they really sound like.

Notice this guy’s neighbor calls out hearing the shot from way off camera.

(Jay Philip Williams, YouTube)

3. Wearing dogs tags outside of your shirt is okay…especially in PT gear.

As much as we love the film “Black Hawk Down,” Sgt. Eversmann is technically out of military reg for wearing his ID tag that way.

Shame on you for setting a bad example.

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
(Source: Sony)

4. “Military grade” crap doesn’t freakin’ exist.

Hollywood and commercial marketing love to use this term to make products sound more durable and reliable. The truth is, the techy term sounds super authentic, but unfortunately everything we use in the military can break under certain conditions.

Like they say, “You take care of your gear, your gear will take care of you.” Write that down.

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Also Read: 7 epic ‘gearing up’ montages from action movies you love

5. It’s okay to be the wild cowboy in the unit.

We’re not saying troops don’t take life and death chances while in battle — they risk their lives all the time. But when someone consistently puts himself or others at risk, it’s time to get rid of them.

You have no idea what the hell they’re planning on doing when the bullets start flying — not someone you want to ride into battle with.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Articles

7 Celebrities Who Didn’t Last At West Point

Being a West Point cadet isn’t for everyone, and that’s not a bad thing if you’re a poet or an LSD pioneer.


Not everyone can make it through the famed U.S. Military Academy that has been training Army leaders for more than 200 years. The academy has had its fair share of famous graduates, of course, but we looked back at a few who didn’t make it all the way through.

 

Edgar Allen Poe

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Edgar Allen Poe, the poet best known for “The Raven,” served as a non-commissioned officer in the U.S. Army 1827-1829. He was a member of West Point’s Class of 1834 and excelled in language studies, but he was ultimately expelled for conduct reasons. (Wikipedia)

Chris Cagle

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Before he played in the NFL, Chris Cagle was part of West Point’s Class of 1930. He played for the Black Knights during the 1926–1929 seasons. Right before his commissioning, he was forced to resign in May 1930 after it was discovered he had married — a breach of the rules for cadets — in August 1928. (Wikipedia; Photo: Amazon.com)

Timothy Leary

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Timothy Leary, counterculture icon and LSD proponent, was part of West Point’s Class of 1943 before dropping out to “drop out, tune in, and turn on” – his motto during the ’60s.

Richard Hatch

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Richard Hatch was part of West Point’s Class of 1986 before he dropped out to eventually become the original reality show bad boy and winner of the first season of Survivor. (Photo: People.com)

Maynard James Keenan

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Maynard James Keenan is well known in rock music circles as the front man of art metal bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. Keenan would have been part of the Class of 1988 but instead of accepting his appointment to West Point in 1984 (while he was attending United States Military Academy Preparatory School) he decided to skip cadet life and instead complete his term of active duty enlistment. (Photo: Karen Mason Blair/Corbis)

Adam Vinatieri

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Adam Vinatieri is well-known to NFL fans as a placekicker for the New England Patriots and Indianapolis Colts. His stint as a cadet didn’t last very long. He left the Academy after two weeks of plebe life. (Photo: Colts.com)

Dan Hinote

 

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Dan Hinote dropped out of West Point in 1996 – his plebe year – when he was picked up by the Colorado Avalanche, which made him the first NHL player ever drafted from a service academy. He is currently an assistant coach for the Columbus Blue Jackets. (Photo: NHL.com)

Articles

11 celebrities you didn’t know were passionate about supporting America’s veterans

Many celebrities use their influence to bring awareness to issues they are passionate about. Something as simple as a social media post or attending an event can bring support and attention for an organization. For the military veteran community, celebrities such as Gary Sinise and Bob Hope have used their influence so much that it becomes part of their lifestyle.


But there are many other superstars who have gone above and beyond in supporting troops, although most people have no idea. Here are 11 superstars you probably didn’t know were passionate about supporting veterans.

1. Kathy Griffin

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Kathy Griffin, Michael McDonald and Karri Turner perform an improv skit for soldiers and airmen in Tikrit, Iraq, March 17, 2006.

The multi Emmy award winning actress and comedian has been a long time supporter of the troops performing on USO tours, hosting VH1 Divas Salute the Troops,  and offering veterans free backstage tickets to her shows. She has been awarded recognition for her commitment in supporting the troops.

2. Jared Allen

Jared Allen is a five-time NFL Pro Bowl selection and current player for the Chicago Bears. He was so inspired by his interaction with troops on a USO tour that he created the non-profit Homes for Wounded Warriors which builds and remodels homes for wounded warriors.

3. Judd Apatow

The award winning comedy writer/producer has many well known credits including “Anchorman,” “Pineapple Express,” “Bridesmaids,” and HBO’s “Girls.” What many don’t know is his passion in supporting troops by performing stand up comedy to raise money for wounded warriors, sending gifts to troops, and hiring veterans to work on his productions.

4. Adam Sandler

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Whether he’s making videos of messages in support of the troops  or hosting wounded warriors at his production company Happy Madison, Adam is known as a long-time supporter of the troops and veterans.

5. Snoop Dogg

One of hip-hop’s most iconic figures, Snoop should also be known for being a huge troop supporter. He visits wounded warriors at the hospital, has played with the Wounded Warrior Amputee football team, and performs for the troops. Watch this video of him expressing his support.

6. Vince McMahon

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: Wikimedia

Owner of World Wrestling Entertainment, Vince partnered his entertainment powerhouse with the Armed Forces Entertainment to organize an annual Tribute to the Troops since 2003. Prior to the show each year, he has WWE wrestlers and employees visit military bases and hospitals.

7. KISS

The legendary rock band has given an incredible amount of support to the troops. In every community where the band opens a Rock Brews restaurant, it donates money to a local veterans organization. Not only have they performed many times for the troops but they have been hiring veterans to work on their tours. Further, the band has roots in World War II that link two of its members together.

8. Katy Perry

The award-winning singer has performed several times for troops, including a show during fleet week, on VH1 Divas Salute the Troops, and on USO tours. She also portrayed herself as a new Marine enlistee in her music video “Part of Me.” The video shot on Camp Pendleton and involved 80 Marines.

9. Fergie

In addition to performing for the troops, the Grammy award-winning singer organized a fundraiser supporting a military charity, and invited many of her celebrity friends.

10. Barry Zito

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
strikeoutsfortroops.org

The Cy Young award-winning pitcher founded the non-profit Strikeouts for Troops in 2005, which provides financial support to wounded warriors. He also flies out a group of veterans to watch spring training every year.

11. J.J. Abrams

Many know the director/producer for his work on blockbuster films like the “Mission Impossible” franchise, “Star Trek,” and the upcoming “Star Wars.” Behind the camera, he has also joined efforts with Hollywood in depicting more stories that portray the sacrifices and service of veterans. He has flown overseas to screen his films for troops and partnered his production company Bad Robot with the non-profit The Mission Continues to support post 9/11 veterans.

Articles

These simple luxuries can make your next deployment tolerable


Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Play | Stitcher

In this episode of the Mandatory Fun podcast, Blake, Tim, and Chase speak with stand-up comedian Mitch Burrow about what simple luxuries we wished we had while on deployment.

Mitch is a Marine Corps veteran that served in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. He then started a career in manufacturing before realizing that it sucked. Now, Mitch has found his true calling in acting silly on a stage in front of strangers on a nightly basis.

Related: Dale Dye wants to make this epic World War II movie with veterans

Being forward deployed without the amenities that service members are used to from back home can suck. While some military branches have chow halls with an all-you-can-eat menu, others are forced to eat highly-processed foods from heavy duty plastic bags — a.k.a. MREs.

Although we wish for the most part that our livelihood will remain the same while on deployment, it’s the simple things service members miss the most.

Also Read: This is how drunken shenanigans influence pilot callsigns

So what unique and simple amenity would Marine veteran and stand-up comedian Mitch Burrow liked to have had while deployed? His answer was simple.

“A data plan.” — Mitch

To follow Mitch or check out one of his shows visit his website: Mitchburrow.com.

Hosted By:

Blake Stilwell: Air Force veteran

Tim Kirkpatrick: Navy veteran

Orvelin Valle (AKA O.V.): Navy veteran

Chase Millsap: Marine veteran

Articles

11 fictional weapons we wish we could check out of the armory

Checking out your weapon from the armory is like standing in line at the DMV — it’s the worst game of hurry up and wait ever.


When you do get it, you spend your day dry firing your weapon at the range and then check it right back in at the close of business.

It happens every day, and the repetition can be very annoying.

Meanwhile back at the barracks, you’re sitting in front of your TV watching your favorite movies or playing your favorite video game, and you begin to think that the futuristic laser gun might be a lot of fun to use against actual bad guys.

Related: This Gatling gun fires up to 6,000 F-Us per minute … and we love it

Check our list of fictional weapons we wish we could check out of the armory:

1. That super sonic shotgun thingy (Minority Report)

When killing the bad guys isn’t the mission, but knocking the crap out of them is.

They got knocked the f*ck out. (Images via Giphy)I actually just want to have this around for my daily commute.

2. The Noisy Cricket (Men in Black)

It would be that perfect weapon to conceal around your ankle holster if you can withstand the recoil of firing it.

His back has to be sore. (Images via Giphy)Maybe do some squats and work on your stance before a live-fire exercise.

3. The Auto 9 (RoboCop)

Because having a .357 Desert Eagle look-a-like you can fire on full auto is badass.

No big deal. (Images via Giphy) If shooting paper targets isn’t your thing, Detroit still needs cops. No word on the Auto 9 being standard issue though.

4.  M41A Pulse Rifle (Alien)

With the outstanding rate of fire of 900 rounds per minute, we’d take this sucker anywhere.

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Ripley, Cpl. Hicks, and M41A Pulse Rifle. (Source: Fox)

Also, kudos to the guys who actually made an M41A. Please bring some by Twentynine Palms for immediate testing.

5.  Lightsaber (Star Wars)

This would be a better weapon to have than the standard issue bayonet we’re used too.

Look at his perfect freakin’ form. (Images via Giphy)

6. The Lawgiver (Judge Dredd)

It fires grenades, armor-piercing rounds, and it’s voice activated. This would be the perfect weapon if you find yourself in a jam.

They’ve all been judged. (robert cowley, Youtube) 

Plus, yelling “I AM THE LAW” every time you fire it would be therapeutic.

7.  The Needler (Halo)

A weapon that shoots energy bursts is a must-have in our armory.

(CryGateEntertainment, YouTube)

8. Mark 2 Lancer (Gears of War)

It’s the perfect weapon if you just feel like cleaving your enemy in two.

Cut that sucker. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: These 4 guns were used to make the longest sniper kills in history

9. EM-1 (Eraser)

This rail gun comes fully equipped with a green x-ray scope and we like that.

A little overkill maybe, but it’s still badass. (Images via Giphy)

10. Gatling Gun Jet Pack (Kickass)

Who wouldn’t want this epic flying weapon in their armory?

Although, cleaning it would be a pain in the a**. (Images via Giphy)

11. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Portal)

With the ability to create portals and teleport through space, this gun could send troops into any battle in a matter of moments.

Perfect for snatch and grab missions. (Images via Giphy) Can you think of any others? Comment below.
MIGHTY MOVIES

The best fictional Marines from movies and TV

Let’s be honest, most movies don’t get the Marines right, but that doesn’t mean some characters don’t capture what the Corps is all about.

Even among the the incredible men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces, Marines have a tendency to stand out. Whether it’s our cult-like affinity for adhering to regulations, our invariably over-the-top pride in our branch, our ability to hit targets from 500 yards out on iron sights, or the truck-load of ego we take with us into a fight, Marines are unquestionably a breed of their own.


In movies and television, Marines are often depicted as hellacious war fighters and disciplined professionals, but Marines themselves will be the first to tell you that, while we may work hard, we often party even harder. Marines aren’t war machines, but we are highly trained. Marines aren’t incapable of compassion, but we do often keep our emotions in check. Marines aren’t super human, but that won’t stop us from acting–and talking–like we are.

That swirling combination of bravado and humility, of violence and compassion, of action and introspection make Marines more complex than they’re often depicted on screens big and small. It’s just hard to cram the sort of paradox into a fictional character. Hell, it’s hard to cram that sort of paradox into a real person too–which is why, as any Marine Corps recruiter will tell you, the Corps isn’t for everyone.

So when it comes to fictional Marines, who does the best job of capturing the unique dynamic of Uncle Sam’s Devil Dogs? That’s just what we aim to find out.

The Only Way To Be Sure (Aliens 1986)

www.youtube.com

Corporal Dwayne Hicks – Aliens

Hicks, as we all know him, was technically a corporal in the United States Colonial Marine Corps, which may not exist now, but just may in the far-flung future of the Aliens movies. While Bill Paxton’s Private Hudson may have some of the more memorable lines (“Game over man! Game over!”) it’s Hicks that maintains his military bearing throughout most of the film. When their unit is decimated and Corporal Hicks finds himself as the senior Marine on station, he willingly assumes the responsibility of command, contradicts the unsafe orders given by the mission’s civilian liaison, and makes a command decision based on the evidence at hand.

If you ask me, that’s some pretty good Marine-ing right there.

The X Files – Skinner Talks About Vietnam (2×08)

www.youtube.com

Walter Skinner – X-Files

Back in the 1990s, no one was cooler than the UFO-chasing FBI agents on the Fox series, The X-Files, but despite Mulder and Scully’s run ins with the supernatural, neither were particularly tough when it came time to fight. Fortunately, their boss was a Vietnam veteran U.S. Marine that had worked his way up to Assistant Director of the FBI.

Skinner didn’t only prove himself a capable fighter time and time again, he regularly put his life on the line to help the agents under his charge and frequently was stuck trying to insulate them from nefarious powers elsewhere in the U.S. government. Skinner was no pushover, and regularly dolled out disciplinary lectures, but when they needed him, Skinner was there with a solid right hook and a drive to protect his troops.

A good Marine isn’t just about the fight. A good Marine is a leader–and that’s just what Skinner is.

Fred Thompson— Hunt for Red October

www.youtube.com

Jack Ryan

There are enough iterations of Jack Ryan for everyone to have a favorite. Whether you prefer Alec Baldwin’s Ryan squaring off with the best of the Soviet Navy in The Hunt for Red October or the John Krasinski’s TV version fighting modern day terrorism, there are some universal traits every character named Jack Ryan carries with them.

Ryan is the perpetual underdog, always starting his story arc as an unassuming CIA analyst and Marine veteran. Despite having all the usual Marine Corps training, a helicopter crash left Ryan with a long road to recovery and a new way of life–but that didn’t stop him from devoting himself to serving his country in any form he could.

Ryan is the perfect example of a Marine that could have done something else–with his smarts, capabilities, and drive, he could be successful in any industry. He chose service because his nation matters to the very fabric of his being. That’s what being a Marine is all about.

This article originally appeared on Sandboxx. Follow Sandboxx on Facebook.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Steven Seagal is Russia’s new envoy to the United States

Many Russia-watchers are questioning or making light of the Foreign Ministry’s surprise appointment of Steven Seagal as a special envoy for humanitarian ties with the United States — but not the action-film actor himself.

“I take this honour very seriously,” Seagal tweeted late on Aug 5, a day after the Russian Foreign Ministry announced the appointment on Facebook.


Seagal, who has warm ties with President Vladimir Putin and was granted Russian citizenship in 2016, said he was “deeply humbled and honoured” by the appointment.

“I hope we can strive for peace, harmony, and positive results in the world,” Seagal wrote.

Seagal, 66, starred in Hollywood action movies such as Above The Law (1988), Hard To Kill (1990), and Under Siege (1992). His films were popular in the Soviet Union and then in Russia and other ex-Soviet republics.

Seagal has vehemently defended Putin’s policies, including Moscow’s 2014 annexation of Ukraine’s Crimea Peninsula, along with criticizing the U.S. government.

Kyiv last year banned Seagal from entering Ukraine for five years, citing what it said were national security grounds.

The Russian Foreign Ministry statement said that Seagal’s task will be to “foster the further development of Russian-American relations in the humanitarian sphere, including interactions in… culture, the arts, public and youth exchanges, and so forth.”

The position is not paid and will be similar to the United Nations’ goodwill ambassador positions, the statement said.

This article originally appeared on Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty. Follow @RFERL on Twitter.

Humor

This famous bridge adds an Army LMTV to its list of kills

Right off North Carolina Highway 147 in Durham sits a relic of older railroad overpass regulations. The 78-year old bridge that runs along South Gregson Street has a clearance of only 11 feet 8 inches. It has become known across the internet as “The Can-Opener Bridge” because of the astounding number of overconfident truck drivers who think they can squeeze their vehicle under it. Recently, the bridge claimed its 130th victim: an Army LMTV.


Local truck drivers know to avoid the overpass, so nearly every vehicle that gets clipped is either a rental or from out-of-state. The costs of raising the railroad tracks would be astronomical and the city’s main sewer line runs underneath, meaning lowering the road is impossible.

Thankfully, to date, there have been no fatalities and only three minor injuries. The city of Durham is content to plaster the area with a ridiculous amount of warnings to drivers, including a traffic light and gigantic, flashing sign that triggers if a height sensor is tripped. But all of these cautions don’t deter idiots drivers who aren’t willing to take a short detour.

To be completely honest, I don’t think they even want to fix it because it’s too funny.

 

So, what’s a city to do that has a hilarious problem that only affects morons who obviously don’t know their vehicle and fail to acknowledge the many signals? Put up a 24/7 webcam and create an internet attraction, obviously!

The most recent addition to the bridge’s long list of victims is a U.S. Army LMTV from an undisclosed unit. Many sites have erroneously claimed that the truck was carrying some “top secret device that needed to be covered” when it hit the bridge. In actuality, it was just a regular ol’ weapon mount that’s kept covered as not to freak out civilians. The driver of the vehicle has also not been named, but the Private (or soon-to-be-Private) is definitely never going to live this one down.

 

 
MIGHTY MOVIES

Disney+ just dropped the trailer for ‘The Mandalorian’

After the stories of Jango and Boba Fett, another warrior emerges in the Star Wars universe. “The Mandalorian” is set after the fall of the Empire and before the emergence of the First Order. We follow the travails of a lone gunfighter in the outer reaches of the galaxy far from the authority of the New Republic.

Pedro Pascal, best known as Game of Thrones‘ Red Viper of Dorne (Prince Oberyn, for those of you who refuse to become obsessive fans), stars as the titular character, a bounty hunter heavily inspired by the infamous Boba Fett. The series will take place after Star Wars: Episode VI — Return of the Jedi and before The Force Awakens.

Check out the trailer right here:


The Mandalorian | Official Trailer | Disney+ | Streaming Nov. 12

www.youtube.com

The Mandalorian | Official Trailer | Disney+ | Streaming Nov. 12

“I’m trying to evoke the aesthetics of not just the original trilogy but the first film. Not just the first film but the first act of the first film. What was it like on Tatooine? What was going on in that cantina? That has fascinated me since I was a child, and I love the idea of the darker, freakier side of Star Wars, the Mad Max aspect of Star Wars,” creator Jon Favreau told The Hollywood Reporter.

The opening scenes contain bloody stormtrooper helmets on spikes, so I’d say he’s off to a great start!

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

The Mandalorian, Disney+

The show, the first Star Wars live-action TV series, will be one of the biggest releases on the new streaming platform Disney+, which will also house Marvel Cinematic Universe shows about Scarlet Witch and Vision, Loki, The Falcon and Winter Soldier, and Hawkeye, among others.

Fans got a peek at footage from The Mandalorian at Star Wars Celebration Chicago, but finally the teaser trailer has been released at D23. In addition, the new poster has been released, unveiling the bounty hunter himself — and that fancy new Disney+ logo.

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

The Mandalorian will be available to stream right when Disney+ launches on Nov. 12, 2019. The service will cost .99 a month or can be purchased as a bundle with ad-supported Hulu and ESPN+ for .99 a month.


Articles

13 military phrases that sound ridiculous when used in politics

Politicians hold important positions of power, but their job looks boring as hell. Politicians and political writers like to spice up their stories by using military language like “ambush” while describing a heated discussion at the country club, or “the nuclear option” to explain a change in procedural rules in Congress.


The language definitely spices up the stories, but it sounds ridiculous to people who have actually been ambushed or had to contemplate a true nuclear option. Here are 13 terms that make politicians sound melodramatic.

1. Ambush

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: US Army Sgt. Daniel Johnson

An ambush is a surprise attack launched from a concealed position against an unsuspecting enemy. Some politicians have been ambushed like Julias Caesar or Charles Sumner. But this term gets used to describe things like Republicans proposing a law the Democrats don’t like. That’s not an ambush. It’s just the legislative process.

2. Bite the bullet

Associated with battlefield medicine before anesthetic, to “bite the bullet” is to face down adversity without showing fear or pain. The term is thought to come from battlefield wounded biting bullets to make it through surgery while fully awake. Obviously, politicians on a committee finally doing their jobs shouldn’t be equated with soldiers enduring traumatic medical treatment without anesthesia.

3. Boots on the ground

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: US Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Andrew D. Thorburn

Boots on the ground has a relatively short history that the BBC investigated. Surprise, it’s a military term. It is used by politicians and most senior military to refer to troops specifically deployed in a ground combat role. “Boots on the ground” numbers don’t generally count Marines guarding embassies or Special Forces advising foreign governments.

What’s surprising is that, though the term is used so narrowly when referring to military operations, it’s used so broadly when referring to political volunteers. Any group of college students knocking on doors or putting up pamphlets can be called “boots-on-the-ground,” even if the volunteers are all wearing tennis shoes and flip-flops.

4. D-Day

Not every “D-Day” for the military is the Normandy landings of 1944, but D-Day is still a big deal. It’s the day an operation will kick off, when after months of planning some troops will assault an enemy village or begin a bombing campaign of hostile military bases. In politics, the terms is used to describe election day. This is weird to vets for two reasons. First, D-Day is the first day of an operation, while election day is the final day of an election campaign. But worse, D-Day is when friendly and enemy troops will meet in combat, killing each other. For politicians, it’s when they get a new job or find out they better update their resume.

5. Front lines

The forward most units of a military force, pressed as close to the enemy’s army as the commander will allow, form the frontline. This is typically a physically dangerous place to be, since that means they’re generally within enemy rifle and artillery range. Contrast that with politicians “on the front lines,” who may sit next to their “enemy” and exchange nothing more lethal than passive-aggressive banter.

6. In the crosshairs

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: US Marine Corps Cpl. Ryan Walker

Obvious to anyone who has used a rifle scope or watched a sniper movie, someone who is in the crosshairs is in peril of being shot very soon. Political parties who are sparring in the media do not typically find their leaders, “in the enemy’s crosshairs,” as Sarah Palin wrote in a Facebook post according to the Associated Press. Political parties generally fight through press releases and tweets, significantly less dangerous than using rifles.

7. In the trenches

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Ernest Brooks

Politicians love to describe themselves as veterans who have spent years in the trenches. Trenches aren’t used much in modern warfare, mostly because of just how horrible trenches are even for a winning army. Trenches fill with water, bugs, and rats. They’re claustrophobic and are easily targeted by enemy artillery and bombers, so they’re a dangerous defense to stay in. Politicians spend very little time in these. When politicians say they were “in the trenches,” they’re generally referring to fundraisers at local restaurants. Oh, the horror.

8. Line of fire

The Guardian once published an article titled “General in the line of fire,” which sounds bloody and dangerous, but is actually about a bunch of attorney generals experiencing harsh criticism, not incoming rounds. The line of fire is the area where all the bullets are flying as enemies try to kill someone. Political lines of fire are just where reporters are asking a lot of hard questions.

9. Nuclear option

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Photo: Department of Defense

Putin has a nuclear option. The U.S. Senate has some control over a nuclear option. However, when Congress changed the rules for a fillibuster, that wasn’t the nuclear option. That was a change in procedural bylaws. It’s easy to tell the difference. One destroys entire cities in moments. The other makes it harder to block a presidential nominee for office.

10. Scorched-Earth

scorched-earth political campaign is when a politician is willing to break alliances to win. True scorched earth though, comes when an army breaches the enemy border and starts destroying everything in their path. Atlanta suffered real scorched earth when Maj. Gen. William Sherman burnt the city nearly to the ground while destroying railroads on his way to Savannah.

11. Shock and awe

Like “blitzkrieg” and “all-out war” before it, “shock and awe” is now a popular phrase for describing a political struggle where one side has engaged every asset at their disposal. However, when political fights actually reach the level of blitzkriegs or Operation Shock and Awe, that’s called a civil war. When a politician is spending a bunch of money or smearing an opponent, that’s called campaigning. Completely different things.

12. Take no prisoners

Combat soldiers frequently have to decide whether to try and take prisoners or kill anyone who doesn’t immediately surrender. Politicians, however, should never be in a situation where they decide to take no prisoners. They have an office job. They should only be deciding whether to take a phone call, or whether to take a dump.

13. The War Room/The Situation Room

James Carville and George Stephanopoulos ran President Bill Clinton’s “War Room” for the 1992 elections while Wolf Blitzer anchors the news for CNN from The Situation Room, which CNN describes as “The command center for breaking news.” First, while Clinton’s 1992 run was tumultuous, nothing going into the War Room was on par with combat operations. Second, Wolf Blitzer is not the commander of anything. He’s a photogenic TV personality. Carville was in a political strategy room. Blitzer works in a newsroom.

NOW: 15 cliches every military recruit from Texas hears in basic training

OR: 35 technical errors in ‘Rules of Engagement’

Intel

Trained Warriors Turned Comedy Killers

We know. War is nothing to joke about. However, we also know that laughter is simply the best medicine… ever. COMEDY WARRIORS is both a funny and poignant look into the lives of five wounded warriors turned comedians. Get a snippet of how these five veterans use comedy under the guidance of professional comedy writers and comedians Lewis Black, Zach Galifianakis, BJ Novak, and Bob Saget among others. Humor heals.


Image Credit: Peter van Agtmael

NOW: 23 Photos Of Drill Instructors Terrifying The Hell Out Of Marine Recruits

OR: The Best Military Meals Ready-To-Eat, Ranked

Articles

7 undeniable signs you’re a super POG

Look, not everyone can be a hardcore, red-blooded meat eater. Someone has to man the phones at the big bases and that’s just the job for you. You’re a vital part of the American war machine, and you should be proud of yourself.


But there are some things you’re doing that open you up to a bit of ridicule. Sure, not everyone is going to be a combat arms bubba, embracing the suck and praying they’ll get stomped on by the Army just one more time today. But some of us POGs are taking our personal comfort a little too far and failing to to properly embrace the Army lifestyle.

Here are seven signs that you’re not only a POG but a super POG:

1. You’re more likely to bring your “luggage” than a duffel bag and rucksack

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
(via NavyMemes.com)

There are some semi-famous photos of this phenomenon that show support soldiers laughing in frustration as they try to roll wheeled bags across the crushed gravel and thick mud of Kandahar and other major bases.

This is a uniquely POG problem, as any infantryman — and most support soldiers worth their salt — know that they’re going to be on unforgiving terrain and that they’ll need their hands free to use their weapon while carrying weight at some point. Both of those factors make rolling bags a ridiculous choice.

2. You actually enjoy collecting command coins

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
(Photo: WATM)

Seriously, what is it about these cheap pieces of unit “swag” that makes them so coveted. I mean, sure, back when those coins could get you free drinks, it made some sense. But now? It’s the military version of crappy tourist trinkets.

Anyone who wants to remember the unit instead of their squad mates was clearly doing the whole “deployment” thing wrong. And challenge coins don’t help you remember your squad; selfies while drunk in the barracks or photos of the whole platoon making stupid faces while pointing their weapons in the air do.

3. You don’t understand why everyone makes such a big deal about MREs (just go to TGI Fridays if you’re tired of them!)

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
(via Valhalla Wear)

More than once I’ve heard POGs say that MREs aren’t that bad and you can always go to the DFAC or Green Beans or, according to one POG on Kandahar Air Field, down to TGI Friday’s when you’re tired of MREs. And I’m going to need those people to check their POG privilege.

Look, not every base can get an American restaurant. Not every base has a DFAC. A few bases couldn’t even get regular mermite deliveries. Those soldiers, unfortunately, were restricted to MREs and their big brother, UGRs (Unitized Group Rations), both of which have limited, repetitive menus and are not great for one meal, let alone meals for a year.

So please, send care packages.

4. You think of jet engines as those things that interrupt your sleep

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
Afterburners lit while an F-22 of the 95th Fighter Squadron takes off. (Photo: U.S. Air Force)

I know, it’s super annoying when you’re settling into a warm bed on one of the airfields and, just as you drift off, an ear-splitting roar announces that a jet is taking off, filling your belly with adrenaline and guaranteeing that you’ll be awake another hour.

But please remember that those jets are headed to help troops in contact who won’t be getting any sleep until their enemies retreat or are rooted out. A fast, low flyover by a loud jet sometimes gets the job done, and a JDAM strike usually does.

So let the jets fly and invest in a white noise machine. The multiple 120-volt outlets in your room aren’t just for show.

5. You’ve broken in more office chairs than combat boots

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Pretty obvious. POGs spend hours per day in office chairs, protecting their boots from any serious work, while infantryman are more likely to be laying out equipment in the motor pool, marching, or conducting field problems, all of which get their boots covered in grease and mud while wearing out the soles and seams.

6. You still handle your rifle like it’s a dead fish or a live snake

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot
No, POGs, you don’t.

While most troops work with their weapons a few times a year and combat arms soldiers are likely to carry it at least a few times a month on some kind of an exercise, true super POGs MIGHT see their M4 or M16 once a year. And many of them are too lazy to even name it. (I miss you, Rachel.)

Because of this, they still treat their weapon as some sort of foreign object, holding it at arms length like it’s a smelly fish that could get them dirty or a live snake that could bite them. Seriously, go cuddle up to the thing and get used to it. It’ll only kill the things you point it at, and only if you learn to actually use it.

7. You’re offended by the word “POG”

7 reasons why ‘Top Gun’ made you want to become a fighter pilot

Yes, it’s rude for the mean old infantry to call you names, but come on. All military service is important, and it’s perfectly honorable to be a POG (seriously, I wrote a column all about that), but the infantry is usually calling you a POG to tease you or to pat themselves on the back.

And why shouldn’t they? Yes, all service counts, but the burdens of service aren’t shared evenly. While the combat arms guys are likely to sleep in the dirt many nights and are almost assured that they’ll have to engage in combat at some point, the troops who network satellites will rarely experience a day without air conditioning.

Is it too much to let the grunts lob a cheap insult every once in a while?