Warfighters have charged into battle throughout history with fully bearded chins. Sadly, the need to survival chemical weapons attacks has overshadowed the need to keep one’s chin beautiful.
Today, the most widely stated reason for requiring troops to keep a clean-shaven face is because facial hair prevents the proper sealing of a gas mask. Many studies and personnel trials have proven this true time and time again. That’s right, folks. Chemical weapons are so evil that they’ve even killed beards.
Maintaining a clean shave isn’t a problem for most troops. Military regulations prohibit facial hair and every male service member must remain baby-faced. This isn’t solely for potential chemical warfare reasons, but rather for maintaining a uniform and professional appearance among troops.
However, troops with religious reasons or a medical profile may be exempt from the shaving requirement. Unfortunately, their luck runs out when it’s time to visit the CS chamber. Despite knowing that their beards will prevent a complete seal, some in the chain of command will still send these troops in for whatever reason.
Well, my bearded friends, the military is developing an alternative to the standard M50 gas mask that will protect a troop from chemical weapons by forming a skin-tight seal at the neck instead of the chin. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been much progress with the technology, even from the Canadian military, but trials are still ongoing.
This doesn’t mean that bearded gentlemen are completely screwed out of wearing a gas mask. A Marine veteran and survivalist YouTuber, TEOTWAWKI Man, has found a field expedient solution — all it takes is a bunch of Vaseline. What you need to do is slather the edges of the mask with Vaseline and coat your beard with it, too. It should be a nasty amount of goo.
It won’t be pleasant, but it will be a lot faster than shaving and a lot less painful than sucking up CS gas.