What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA's Special Activities Division - We Are The Mighty
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What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

The CIA is the successor to a historic organization, the Office of Strategic Services, which ran guerrilla operations in Europe and Asia during World War II. But the CIA has a cadre of shooter that live in the shadows, the Special Activities Division which typically recruits former special operators and sends them on covert missions around the world.


What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Office of Strategic Services agents conduct airborne training with Chinese forces during World War II. (Photo: CIA.gov/Robert Viau)

The OSS’s Special Operations Branch focused on covert action and guerrilla support, most famously providing assistance to groups fighting Nazi forces in Europe. The SAD is probably best known for its role supporting tribes friendly to the U.S. in northern and southern Afghanistan and for being the first American forces into the country after 9/11.

If either side was forced to fight in the other’s preferred format, if the SAD had to fight while leading a guerrilla force or the SOB had to fight without one, that side would lose. The SAD has better assets in a firefight, like drones and former Delta Force warriors, and the SOB has more guerrilla experience.

But if each side fought in their preferred format, then that’d be a fair fight. The SOB leading hundreds of trained French Partisans might have a chance to overcome the SAD’s technology advantage.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
It take s alot of brave fighters to overcome the advantage of a flying death robot that can see in the dark. (Photo: U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Christian Clausen)

The resistance fighters and their SOB handlers would attempt to draw the SAD into an ambush, but the SAD is unlikely to fall for any cheap traps. With dedicated drones, pilots, and their own intelligence assets, it’s likely that they would get the jump on the SOB.

Since the SAD can call back for air support and has night vision, the opening moments would go badly for the SOB and their fighters. Precision strikes would rain through darkness, breaking up fighter positions and killing dozens. But the partisans trained by the SOB were no slouches and would quickly move to overhead cover — strong buildings if they’re available — but anything from trees to rock overhangs if necessary.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Reminder: CIA operatives once shot down a bomber using a rifle and a helicopter, so they’re pretty persistent. (Painting: CIA/Keith Woodcock)

The SAD would have to attempt to take the objective at some point, engaging in direct action with the SOB and the surviving partisans. With Thompson submachineguns, BARs, M1 Garands, and other weapons, the SOB could inflict serious damage even if they were recovering from the airstrikes.

The people who fought Nazis in Nazi-held Germany aren’t slouches. But they also weren’t supermen, and they would eventually lose.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Those big eyeglasses are a huge deal. (Photo by: U.S. Army Spc. William Lockwood)

Despite SAD’s numerical disadvantage, it would eventually win. The SOB and their fighters would lose track of what shooters in the night were friendly and which were SAD. But SAD, wearing night vision devices and likely IR indicators, would know at a glance who was who.

The SOB would be firing from the hip at sounds while the SAD could hit SOB agents using laser designators.

And if the SAD took heavy fire from any one location and were pinned down for whatever reason, they could always call the air support back for more targeted strikes, giving them space to maneuver and likely killing a few more OSS agents and their French fighters with every helicopter or bomber pass.

Luckily, the OSS never had to fight the SAD. And when it came to fighting Nazis, the OSS and their British friends in the Special Operations Executive were unrivaled.

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Marines are testing boots that will prevent injuries

Marine Corps Systems Command’s Marine Expeditionary Rifle Squad team has partnered with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Lincoln Laboratory to create a boot insert prototype to help improve Marines’ health and performance.


The Mobility and Biomechanics Insert for Load Evaluation, or MoBILE, technology is handmade by the bioengineering staff members at Lincoln Labs with the Marine in mind. MoBILE helps to detect changes in mobility and agility, which will help MCSC make informed decisions on material composition and format of athletic and protective gear.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

Marine Corps-MIT Partnership

“Partnering with MIT has allowed us to create a groundbreaking research tool that will help inform future acquisition decisions and performance of Marines in the field,” said Navy Cmdr. James Balcius, Naval aerospace operational physiologist with the Marine Expeditionary Rifle Squad team.

The team has partnered with MIT since 2012 and coordinates the integration and modernization of everything that is worn, carried, used, or consumed by the Marine Corps rifle squad. It conducts systems engineering, and human factors and integration assessments on equipment from the perspective of the individual Marine.

Also read: The Army will soon have fire proof uniforms made out of this retro fabric

MIT Lincoln Labs is one of 10 federally funded research and development centers sponsored by the Defense Department. These centers assist the U.S. government with scientific research and analysis, systems development, and systems acquisition to provide novel, cost-effective solutions to complex government problems.

Load Sensors

MoBILE has flat, scale-like load sensors that are placed within the boot insole to measure the user’s weight during activities such as standing, walking, and running. The insert sensors are positioned in the heel, toe and arch, and they are capable of capturing data at up to 600 samples per second. When the sensors bend with the foot, the electronics register the bend as a change and send the information back to a master microcontroller for processing.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Marine Expeditionary Rifle Squad members test the Mobility and Biomechanics Insert for Load Evaluation, or MoBILE, technology at Grafenwoehr, Germany, Oct. 27, 2016. Army photo by Spc. Nathanael Mercado

MoBILE will help users gauge how they are carrying the weight of their equipment and if their normal gait changes during activity, Balcius said. The sensor data provides information on stride, ground reaction forces, foot-to-ground contact time, terrain features, foot contact angle, ankle flexion, and the amount of energy used during an activity.

Ultimately, the sensors will provide operational data that will help Marines gather information on training and rehabilitation effectiveness, combat readiness impact, and route and mission planning optimization.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
The Marine Corps is also testing its own version of a jungle combat boot. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps)

Technology Leads to Healthier Marines

“MoBILE has been compared to a force-sensitive treadmill which is a gold-standard laboratory measurement,” said Joe Lacirignola, technical staff member in the Bioengineering Systems and Technologies Group at MIT Lincoln Laboratory. “Because MoBILE has a high sampling rate, the accuracy does not degrade with faster walking or running speeds. In the future, this accurate data could help provide early detection of injuries, ultimately leading to healthier Marines.”

Balcius said MoBILE will be tested this summer in a controlled environment on multiple terrains during road marches and other prolonged training events over a variety of distances.

“This tool is basically a biomechanics lab in a boot, which allows us to gather data at a scale we have not had until now,” said Mark Richter, director of MERS. “The resulting data will be useful to inform decisions that will impact the readiness and performance of our Marines.”
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The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Jul. 29

After another week of keeping the barracks secure from enemy attack, Pokemon, and —most importantly—the staff duty NCO, you deserve some funny military memes. Here are 13 of the best that we could find:


1. Wait, you can get out of PT just because you’re already dead?

(via The Salty Soldier)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
My drill sergeant lied to me.

2. Look, some objects on the runway are hard to see. It was an honest mistake (via Sh-t my LPO says).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Do you think it damaged the engine?

SEE ALSO: The top 6 reasons civilians back out of military service

3. In the dog’s defense, typing those six words takes him more time than it takes most humans to type six paragraphs (via Sh-t my LPO says).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

4. Just 3 more years of hibernation and he’ll emerge as a salty civilian (via Marine Corps Memes).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Or a super salty staff NCO.

5. “I just can’t even. Can’t. Even.”

(via The Salty Soldier)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

6. Stop your jokes. That’s a vessel of the United States Coast Guard (via Coast Guard Memes).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Respect its authority!

7. That buffalo is only wearing the branch to get you to stop throwing Pokeballs at it (via Air Force Nation).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

8. “I also spent plenty of time studying for my advancement exams.”

(via Military Memes)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
BTW, why did Pinocchio’s nose grow? That’s a really specific punishment for lying.

9. Be careful. They sometimes hide them under objects on the side of the road (via Military Memes).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Also in potholes. And dead bodies. And ….

10. As soon as a soldier pulls off this move, they’ve won the smoke session, so stop (via Devil Dog Nation).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

11. He just wanted to get rid of his Pidgey rank and become a “full-Charizard colonel” instead (via Air Force Memes Humor)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
BTW, yes. There will probably one Pokemon meme per list for the foreseeable future. I am trying to keep it to just one, though.

12. Uh, you’re not done until I can see my face in those things (via Sh-t my LPO says).

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
That joke was funny for probably 10 minutes. That boot was stained for the rest of its existence.

13. “It was my turn to go through the intersection!”

(via Military Memes)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

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The Army-Navy game has more riding on it than you think

The service academy college football teams play each other every year, despite playing in difference conferences. The series is one of very few triangular rivalries in college football. It features the U.S. Military Academy (Army Black Knights), the U.S. Naval Academy (Navy Midshipmen) and the U.S. Air Force Academy (Air Force Falcons).


What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
President Barack Obama looks at the helmet given to him by the United States Naval Academy football team during the ceremony to present the Commander-in-Chief Trophy to the team in the East Room of the White House, April 12, 2013. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

The Navy–Air Force game is traditionally played on the first Saturday in October, with the Army–Air Force game on the first Saturday in November. The Army-Navy game is the biggest of the three, because it’s the oldest of the three, first played in 1890 and annually since 1930. It’s also the last in the series, played on the second Saturday in December and it often decides which academy gets the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy.

The trophy itself is almost three feet high and weighs 170 lbs. It is awarded to the service academy with the best inter-service football record.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
The Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy, on the Air Force side.

While there are many trophies in college football rivalry, there are only two teams invited to the White House and congratulated by the President every year: the national championship team and the service academy who wins the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
President Reagan presenting Army with the 1984 trophy.

Since Nixon began the annual contest between the three academies in 1972, it’s been a slugfest on the field when these teams play throughout the season, even if the teams themselves haven’t performed so well. Besides, it’s not just about trophies, it’s about service pride.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
President George W. Bush congratulates the Navy football team during the Commander In Chief’s trophy ceremony at the White House Rose Garden. (U.S. Navy photo by Chief Journalist Alan J. Baribeau)

Air Force is the all-time leader in wins, with 19. Navy is a close second with 14, and a likely win in 2015. The longest streak also belongs to Navy, who held it for seven years from 2003 until 2010. Army only won 6 times since 1972 and the last President to present Army with a trophy was President Bill Clinton in 1996.

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This is why North Korea’s nuclear missile program isn’t as crazy as it seems

Kim Jong Un, North Korea’s supreme leader, may preside over the most propaganda-inundated, oppressed, and ruthless country on earth, but he’s not crazy.


In fact, under the Kim dynasty, North Korea has time and time again shown strategic thinking and cunning, essentially staying one step ahead of international efforts to curb the regime’s power.

North Korea has, for decades, gotten its way without a major military campaign, and without a single attack on Americans on US soil. North Korea will continue to get what it wants in a broad sense, though sanctions and isolation will slow it down.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Image from Wikimedia Commons

And North Korea will continue to get what it wants, enjoying a growing economy, powerful nationalism, and ever-improving nuclear and missile capabilities.

But if North Korea ever, ever fires one of those missiles in anger, the US will return fire in devastating fashion before you can say, “Juche.”

“Their primary concern is regime survival,” a senior US defense official working in nuclear deterrence told Business Insider.

North Korean statements traffics heavily in propaganda, but all sides seem to sincerely believe the Kim regime cares deeply about its preservation, and has built the weapons for defensive purposes.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Photo from Wikimedia Commons

“The North Koreans having nukes is a bad thing and we don’t want it. But if we lose that one, we survive it,” said the official.

This statement from a currently-serving US official knowledgeable with nuclear deterrence is a rare admission that North Korea gaining a nuclear ICBM capability isn’t the end of the world.

It’s time to stop thinking of Kim as some dumb and “crazy fat kid” as Republican Sen. John McCain recently put it.

Kim’s thinking seems cold-blooded and ruthless to the US, but he’s not crazy, and he’d have to be to attack the world’s most powerful country.

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This blind WWII Marine veteran protected his US flag from vandals

Howard Banks is a WWII veteran who was injured while protecting Old Glory. Not in Europe or the Pacific, but in front of his Texas home.


What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Onetime Cpl. Howard Banks at home in Texas. (Credit: Yona Gavino/CBS 11)

The 92-year-old Banks is legally blind, but could spot someone trying to tear down the American flag posted in front of his house in Kaufman, Texas. When he went out to see what was happening, he was pushed to the ground.

“They could see me. I couldn’t see them,” Banks told the Dallas-Fort Worth CBS affiliate. “I turned and looked in the other direction, and about then – ‘wham!’ They knocked me down.”

Banks didn’t stay down for long. Just the previous year, vandals took down his U.S. flag, shredded it and then tore up his Marine Corps. Still holding on to the railing, Banks stood back up, ready to meet his attackers.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Howard Banks’ American Flag, still up on its pole. (Credit: Yona Gavino/CBS 11)

But they ran off. Banks was left with a twisted knee and some other bruises, but his flags were intact. Neighbors moved to help the 92-year-old, whose flags were still there. Banks attributed his dedication to the flag as more than just defending his property and his Marine Corps heritage.

“We’ve honored our flag all that time and doggone it, with our political climate the way that it is, we need something to rally around and that’s our flag,” Banks told the local Fox affiliate. “Once a Marine, always a Marine. I try to live that way.”

In the days since, Banks was surprised with a gift from Honor Flight, whose mission is to help older veterans by flying them to Washington, D.C., free of charge so they can visit their war’s memorial.

Banks’ neighbors moved in quickly to assist him. He now has security cameras in place to monitor his flags.

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Guantanamo’s funniest detainee is single and ready to mingle

Ladies, a high-value al-Qaeda detainee at the U.S. prison facility in Guantanamo Bay is looking for love. Check out his profile on Match.com, because he can’t get on Tinder from his cell and Plenty of Fish asks too many questions.


“This is terrible news about Ashley Madison,” he writes. “Please remove my profile immediately!!! I’ll stick with Match.com, even though you say it is for old people. There is no way I can get Tinder in here.”

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
(International Red Cross via Rahim family)

Muhammad Rahim al-Afghani was captured in Pakistan in 2007 and held by the CIA before his transfer to the prison. He keeps a robust sense of humor despite being tortured while detained by the CIA. Afghani actually does maintain a Match.com profile and comments on the latest news, trends, and pop culture in the United States through letters to his lawyer.

“Donald Trump is an idiot!!! Sen. McAin [sic]is a war hero. Trump is a war zero,” he wrote in a letter acquired by Al-Jazeera. “He bankrupted the USFL, and now he wants to bankrupt the U.S. At this rate, Hillary has a chance.”

Afghani was the last prisoner sent to Guantanamo Bay, arriving in March 2008.

He has access to news, magazines, and international television inside the facility. Referring to Caitlyn Jenner, the transgender reality personality who caused an online stir when she received ESPN’s Arthur Ashe Courage Award, he said he is “happy for her because people are born how they are.” He did question her political views, however. “How is she a Republican? They want to take her rights away.”

He had one bit of advice for Ms. Jenner: “Tell her to use spray tan for her legs.”

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

Afghani has never been charged with a crime. Retired General and former CIA director Michael Hayden says Aghani is detained because of his past and his continued threat to American interests. Afghani believes his high-value status comes because he was tortured in custody. He was sleep deprived for 138 hours in 2007, standing while wearing a diaper, and given only liquid ensure to eat.

He advised his civilian lawyer, Carlos Warner, a federal public defender, to take Obama “straight to the post” if he ever had the chance to play with the President. Afghani is an avid basketball and Cavaliers fan. He is happy about LeBron’s return to Cleveland.

“Miami is a good place to visit, but no one wants to live there. It’s too greasy and hot. But I feel this way: As the great Bret Michaels once said — ‘Although the wound heals, the scar Remains!!!”

While Afghani has access to news, the events he discusses may not always be current. Afghani once asked Warner if he could do the Gangnam Style dance for him, but needed some help first.

“I like this new song ‘Gangnam Style,'” he wrote. “I want to do the dance for you but cannot because of my shackles. Please ask to have this changed.”

In all seriousness, he repeats the need for a military lawyer, which may be why he enjoys displaying his knowledge of American popular culture, in an effort to stay relevant.

“Give me a trial. Let me be free,” he wrote to his civilian lawyer. Afghani request a military lawyer “How can I get justice without a military lawyer?” He had a military lawyer but that lawyer retired and was not replaced. When wikileaks released documents about the detainees left in Guantanamo, there were none about Afghani.

Afghani will likely be rejected by ChristianMingle and eHarmony.

 

NOW: 6 Reasons why the Korengal Valley was one of the most dangerous places in Afghanistan

OR: The 13 best insults from military movies

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A dog’s love can cure anything — including PTSD

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
This post is reprinted with permission from NationSwell, new digital media company focused on American innovation and renewal.


Phil Ruddock had trouble adjusting when he returned home to rural Louisiana, disabled by a traumatic brain injury he received during an Air Force tour of duty during Desert Storm. He had all the classic symptoms of PTSD: “I drank all the time, I couldn’t get along with anyone, I kept checking every room in the house to make sure it was clear every time I came home, I got up and checked the locks on the doors and windows too many times to count, I was always depressed and pissed at the world, and I never slept. I drove my family so crazy that they wanted to leave,” he says with a country twang. “I still do some of those things,” he adds, “but it’s getting better.”

Sit. Stay. Lie down. They’re the words that helped him through his recovery.

Ruddock’s now assisting other veterans afflicted with post-traumatic stress disorder from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan the same way he survived his night terrors and flashbacks — with service dogs. His nonprofit Brothers and Sisters in Arms is a boot camp of sorts based out of central Louisiana, where he’s teaching veterans to train their own service dogs, all adopted from shelters. The repetitive learning of commands works like physical therapy for disabled vets and gives them something to work towards. Once they’ve completed the program, they gain a loyal companion and a sense of accomplishment, “a pride that you can’t imagine,” Ruddock says.

“When a soldier is deployed or on base, they feel secure because they have all the other soldiers there watching their back. But when they are out of the military, when their spouse goes to work, their kids go to school and they’re left alone, they have nobody watching their back,” Ruddock says. “It makes them very anxious, paranoid. A dog turns out to be their battle buddy and watches their back. It never leaves them, it never judges them, it never asks questions that they don’t want to answer. It gives them unconditional love,” Ruddock explains.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Photo: Sergeant Rex

A program connecting veterans and rescue dogs may sound cutesy, almost saccharine, but for Ruddock, it’s serious — vital even. He asks the veterans to list Brothers and Sisters in Arms as the primary contact associated with the animal’s microchip, rather than the owner’s home phone. “The suicide rate for veterans is 22 per day,” Ruddock says, about 8,000 every year. “If that dog would show up at a shelter and they ran the microchip, chances are that veteran is not going to answer his phone.”

Ruddock started the nonprofit in November 2012 after his personal experience with an abandoned pit bull. Following a nervous breakdown, he lost his job as lead clerk at the local VA outpatient clinic. His spent his days walled alone up on his remote property, until a friend arrived with a pit bull for him to train. “She was as beat up and as messed up as I was,” he remembers of his white-faced, brown-eared dog, Mia. “She kind of rescued me.” The dog sat in the passenger seat of his truck on rides into a nearby village and eventually gave him confidence to travel farther.

Within the past couple months, Ruddock logged more than 20,000 miles in his sojourns across the Sugar State, from Slidell, a town across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans that butts up against Mississippi, all the way out west to Fort Polk, an Army installation near the Texas border. Last year, he certified 31 service dogs, which are specially licensed after 120 hours in public, and 15 companion dogs.

At the pound, Ruddock seeks out the calmest dogs. “We look for dogs with a good disposition. We don’t want the ones that jump and bark and get with the other dogs,” he says. He generally avoids puppies — too much added stress — and certain breeds like German shepherds that can become overprotective if they’re not socialized regularly, but otherwise he’ll take every breed from a 20-pound Jack Russell terrier to a 200-pound mastiff.

Training sessions run one hour a week for roughly eight weeks, though he’s come to expect a few absences. “A veteran may have problems one day. Some demons may come up and he may not be able to show up. It may take a little longer,” he says.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Photo by Staff Sgt. Jeremy Bowcock

Besides the essentials — what Ruddock calls good citizenship for canines (think: table manners for children) — the service dogs learn three main commands that are unique for handlers who still carry wounds from the battlefield. The dog learns to “block,” inserting itself into the space between the owner and somebody else so that a person keeps their distance. “Cover” sends the pup to its owner’s back or side, facing away as a kind of lookout that allows a vet to relax at, say, a counter or cash register. The last is “grounded.” If the soldier faints or has a nightmare, the dog lays on top of the owner and licks his face, prompting a welcome (if wet) return to reality.

Brothers and Sisters in Arms is different from many other groups that provide service dogs. For one, Ruddock doesn’t charge for his services or the animal. His operation is funded entirely by donations; the bill from other groups can run as high as $25,000. (“These guys get out of the military, and they’re just above poverty level. They can’t afford that,” he says.) His classes are all one-on-one, making it easier for vets who can be skittish around crowds, nervous about competition and failure. And every instructor is a former soldier, because, as Ruddock says, “There’s no better therapy than a veteran talking to another veteran.”

Ruddock wants to see the program expand across Louisiana. He’s already processing five to 10 applications a week, and he’s starting to get referrals from VA psychiatrists who can’t officially recommend a service dog but still send warriors his way. “It’s not about the fame or fortune. It’s about that feeling you get when you help somebody. The warm fuzzies, the goosebumps, whatever you want to call it,” he says of his motivations. “It’s about doing what’s right.”

It’s for the men and women, his brothers and sisters, that Ruddock keeps trekking across the bayous, working with soldiers, like the young man he met last month. “You can tell he’s had it rough,” Ruddock says. “He couldn’t even stand the sound of a loud car going by. He kept moving around and shaking. He couldn’t look you in the eye. He constantly looked down, and if he did catch your eye, it was a white stare like he could see right through you.” The man expressed no emotion, until Ruddock brought out a puppy. As if he was emerging from a daze, the man started petting the dog. He smiled, and Ruddock knew another soldier was safe.

More from NationSwell:

This article originally appeared at NationSwell Copyright 2015. Follow NationSwell on Twitter.

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Former head of DIA says ISIS laptops are filled with ’80 percent pornography’

According to retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a former head of the Defense Intelligence Agency and a potential vice-president pick for Donald Trump, the hard drives of ISIS fighters are largely filled with porn.


What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Lt Gen. Michael Flynn addresses an audience during a change of directorship ceremony at the Defense Intelligence Agency. (Photo: US Department of Defense Erin A. Kirk-Cuomo)

“We looked a ruthless enemy in the eye – women and children, girls and boys, raped and exploited, the beheadings stored on a laptop next to pornography,” he said in his new book. “At one point we actually had determined that the material on the laptops was up to 80 percent pornography.”

This isn’t the first time a western leader has leveled charges of a pornography epidemic at ISIS forces. Former London mayor British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson accused them of favoring adult material as well.

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn,” he said in 2015. “They are literally wankers. Severe onanists.”

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
These guys all have porn-filled hard drives*. (*Probably) (Photo Credit: YouTube/Vice News)

ISIS may be facing a porn shortage soon, though. As the “caliphate” is reclaimed by the coalition, ISIS strongmen have begun destroying internet cafes and cutting off web access.

Ret. Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn’s new book, “The Field of Fight: how We Can Win the Global War Against Radical Islam and Its Allies,” is available now.

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The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Good news! It’s Friday and your week is almost over! Even better? More memes.


1. “I don’t always play Army …”

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

2. The combat diapers have gotten much bigger. (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Of course, this guy is big enough to fill it up.

SEE ALSO: 15 GIFs that sum up your military experience

3. Carriers have some pretty confined spaces. (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Too tall for the showers, and the hatch frame, and the halls, and the …

 4. “Alright guys, you can leave the PT belts in the tent this time.”

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

5. Accelerate your life. (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
But watch out for obstructions.

6. You wanted him to be alert for the drive. (via Military Memes)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
This guy’s first step in a rollover drill is probably to protect the energy drinks.

7. How to end the service rivalries.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Most people would hug it out if they were paid what Mayweather was.

8. Marine Corps Recruit Training.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Where they make you a man by treating you like a child.

9. When your boss asks you about the memo one too many times.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
For some people IEDs are preferable to spreadsheets.

10. Navy Strong. (via Sh-t My LPO Says)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Even Mickey Mouse thinks that’s an embarrassing way to work out.

11. There are some top-tier painters in Australia. (via Military Memes)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

 12. “Guys, I can’t go any further.” vs. “Guys, Starbucks is right around the corner!” (via Military Memes)

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

13. Bad Luck Brian just can’t catch a break.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division

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Islamic State terrorists launched a chemical attack in Mosul

U.S. Army Major General Joseph Martin spoke via video conference from the Iraqi capital of Baghdad on April 19, 2017, confirming that Daesh (Islamic State) terrorists launched a chemical attack against Iraqi forces in Mosul four days earlier.


The U.S. military has confirmed that the Takfiri Daesh terrorist group launched a chemical offensive against advancing Iraqi forces in the flashpoint city of Mosul over the weekend.

Iraqi security sources reported on April 15 that Daesh terrorists had fired missiles loaded with chlorine at the then-freshly-liberated neighborhood of al-Abar in west Mosul, causing respiratory problems for at least seven troops.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Soldiers conduct detailed aircraft decontamination training. (Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Josephine Carlson)

Major General Martin, the commanding general of the so-called Combined Joint Forces Land Component Command–Operation Inherent Resolve, said via videoconference from the Iraqi capital of Baghdad that the chemical attack had been launched but had caused no fatalities.

“The Iraqi security forces…were in vicinity of one of the strikes,” Martin told reporters, adding, “They were taken back for the appropriate level of medical care… Nobody’s been [fatally] impacted. Nobody’s died.”

Martin, however, said that the agent used in the attack had not been identified “at this time.”

“We have sent it back for testing but we’re still waiting for the outcomes,” he said.

According to Iraq’s Federal Police, Daesh also hit two other districts of western Mosul, namely Urouba and Bab al-Jadid, with chemical attacks on April 15.

The foreign-backed terrorist group, which seized Mosul in June 2014, has so far carried out numerous chemical attacks against both Iraqi forces and civilians.

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These are the Voyages of the US Navy’s Enterprise

For some people, Enterprise is the ship that comes to mind when they think about the U.S. Navy.


However, for fans of the TV show Star Trek – Trekkies, Enterprise is synonymous with the fictional starship by the same name and “its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

On this day, 50 years after the show’s premiere, we’re looking back at our Enterprise by the numbers.

1775

The name Enterprise is as old as the U.S. Navy. The first Enterprise ship was captured from the British by Benedict Arnold in May 1775. CVN-65 was the eighth ship with the name Enterprise in the history of the U.S. Navy.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
The first Enterprise originally belonged to the British and cruised on Lake Champlain to supply their posts in Canada. After the capture of Fort Ticonderoga by the Americans on May 10, 1775, it became the object of desire in the mind of Benedict Arnold who realized he would not have control of Lake Champlain until its capture.

1,123

The length of the Enterprise in feet, making it the longest ship in history. Over 800 companies provided building supplies, which included 60,923 tons of steel, 1507 tons of aluminum, 230 miles of pipe and tubing and 1700 tons of one-quarter-inch welding rods.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
ATLANTIC OCEAN (Oct. 23, 2012) An E-2C Hawkeye assigned to the Screwtops of Carrier Airborne Early Warning Squadron (VAW) 123 flies past the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65) during an air power demonstration. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Scott Pittman/Released)

8

The number of nuclear reactors aboard Enterprise, which was the first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier. The reactors generated more than 200,000 horsepower.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
At sea aboard USS Enterprise (CVN 65) Nov. 5, 2001– Sailors aboard USS Enterprise spell out “E = MC2x40” on the carrier’s flight deck to mark forty years of U.S. Naval nuclear power as ship and crew return home from a Mediterranean Sea Arand abian Gulf deployment in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. Enterprise currently in dry dock at the Naval Shipyards in Norfolk, Va. U.S. Navy Photo by Photographer’s Mate 3rd Class Douglass M. Pearlman. (RELEASED)

100,000

The number of Sailors and Marines who served aboard Enterprise, which had 23 different commanding officers.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
NORFOLK (Nov. 30, 2012) Master Chief Aviation Boatswain’s Mate Eric Young reenlists on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65). (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Nick C. Scott/Released)

1962

Within one year of its commissioning, President John Kennedy dispatched Enterprise to blockade Cuba and prevent the Soviet delivery of missiles to the island.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
WASHINGTON (April 16, 2013) The aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65) transits the Arabian Gulf. Enterprise was one of several ships that participated in Operation Praying Mantis, which was launched after the guided-missile frigate USS Samuel B. Roberts (FFG-58) struck an Iranian mine on April 14, 1988. (U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 1st Class Todd Cichonowicz/Released)

2001

Enterprise was returning from a long deployment when terrorists attacked the U.S. on September 11. Without waiting for orders, Enterprise returned to the Arabian Gulf and later launched one of the first strikes against al-Qaida in Afghanistan. The ship expended more than 800,000 pounds of ordnance during Operation Enduring Freedom.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
At sea aboard USS Enterprise (Oct. 18, 2001) — U.S. Navy sailors inspect AGM-65 “Maverick” air-to-surface tactical missiles on the flight deck of USS Enterprise (CVN 65) in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. U.S. Navy Photo by Photographer’s Mate Airman Apprentice Lance H. Mayhew Jr. (RELEASED)

25

The number of deployments made by Enterprise, which traveled to the Mediterranean Sea, Pacific Ocean and the Middle East, and served in nearly every major conflict that occurred during her history.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
NORFOLK (Nov. 4, 2012) The aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65) arrives at Naval Station Norfolk. Enterprise’s return to Norfolk will be the 25th and final homecoming of her 51 years of distinguished service. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Rafael Martie/Released)

400,000

The number of arrested landings recorded aboard Enterprise as of May 2011, the fourth aircraft carrier to perform such a feat.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
ARABIAN SEA (May 24, 2011) An F/A-18F Super Hornet assigned to the Red Rippers of Strike Fighter Squadron (VFA) 11 makes the 400,000th arrested landing aboard the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65). (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Alex R. Forster/Released)

51

Enterprise’s years of active service, which ended December 1, 2012. Enterprise was one of the longest active-duty ships in the history of the Navy.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
NORFOLK (Dec. 1, 2012) Guests observe the inactivation ceremony of the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65). Enterprise was commissioned Nov. 25, 1961 as the first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier. The ceremony marks the end of her 51 years of service. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Joshua E. Walters/Released)

80

During CVN-65’s inactivation ceremony on Dec. 1, 2012, Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus announced in a video message that the name Enterprise will live on as the officially passed the name to CVN-80, the third Ford class carrier and the ninth ship in the U.S. Navy to bear the name.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
Graphic of ships named Enterprise (U.s. Navy graphic by MC1 Arif Patani/Released)

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Jordan soldier to be charged for killing American trainers

A government official says a Jordanian soldier faces murder charges in the shooting deaths of three US military trainers at a Jordanian air base.


He says the soldier will be tried by a military court, starting June 7th. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to brief reporters.

The US Army Green Berets were killed November 4 at the Al-Jafr air base in southern Jordan. They came under fire as their convoy entered the base.

What would happen if the OSS fought the CIA’s Special Activities Division
US Army photo by Rachel Larue/Arlington National Cemetery

Jordanian officials initially said the trainers sparked the shooting by disobeying orders from Jordanian soldiers.

The slain Americans were 27-year-old Staff Sgt. Matthew C. Lewellen, of Kirksville, Missouri; 30-year-old Staff Sgt. Kevin J. McEnroe of Tucson, Arizona; and 27-year-old Staff Sgt. James F. Moriarty of Kerrville, Texas.

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