11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman - We Are The Mighty
Humor

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Every day, Hospital Corpsman encounter challenges and surprises they just can’t predict. Whether they’re stationed with the Marines, working sick call in a hospital, or sitting behind a desk handling necessary paperwork — it can get hard out there for a Doc.


But one thing that never changes is their comedic outlook and perspective on how they see the world around them.

Related: 6 things Corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

So check out these 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman.

1. Directions are hard

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

2. Because that’s the only military story they have

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

3. We don’t like that

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

4. Because a Doc takes care of his Marines

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

5. So true!

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

6. Since there’s no time to study because you’re always in the field, just passing the advancement test is a blessing

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

7. The silver bullet also has a healing ability

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Also read: 4 unusual tasks Corpsmen do that their recruiters left out

8. They will totally laugh in your face

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

9. It’s called “patient poaching” and it’s not cool

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

10. We have a big job to do and not a lot to do it with

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

11. Fun fact: Marines love their Corpsmen … if they’re not sh*t bags

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

Your top 13 favorite Mighty stories from 2017

The editorial staff of We Are The Mighty spends a lot of time thinking about you, readers. Probably more than your husbands and wives, likely less than your First Sergeants (our main audience skews younger) and doctors (our second largest audience skews much older).


11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Knowing what you like to read can tell you all a little something about yourselves, too. So, take a look at We Are The Mighty’s top stories of 2017 and then take a deep, reflective look at yourselves.

13. 5 key differences between Army medics and Navy corpsmen

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

It’s obviously going to be deeper than just Army vs. Navy.

12. These crusader knights answered the call to fight World War I

You guys liked this so much, we made a video about it:


11. The founder of Delta Force was almost impossible to kill

Obviously, he wasn’t totally impossible to kill, because he died eventually — but it wasn’t from a bullet.

(We Are The Mighty | YouTube)

10. Egypt pulls a perfect ‘MacGyver’ move to defend its ships from air attack

Or, “This is what happens when you park a SAM battery on an amphibious assault ship.”

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

9. That time a Marine mechanic took a joyride in a stolen A4M Skyhawk


 

This is a great story because it has a happy ending. Also, this dude is a legend.

8. This is why some sailors wear gold stripes, and some wear red

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

A Navy Corpsman answers the question you never thought you wanted to know everything about — until you realized they have two colors of rank.

7. 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

This post was way more thoughtful than how actors hold weapons.

6. Watch a real US Army honor guard perform the ‘Razzle Dazzle’ from the movie ‘Stripes’

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

There’s nothing true-to-military-life about it, but this proves everyone loves Stripes.

5. Watch this guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns get stabbed and carry on

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

If you don’t love and/or respect the Old Guard, you are wrong.

4. This is what happens when the Army puts a laser on an Apache attack helicopter

When pew turns into zap.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

3. This awesome ‘trench broom’ terrified Germans in both World Wars

An American classic goes to war.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

2. Watch the F-22 take on 5 F-15s – and dominate

It’s okay, though… that’s how it’s supposed to go.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

1. That time Marines in a firefight called customer service for help with an M-107

Any excuse to put Shannon Corbeil back in front of a camera. #WhoToldItBetter

 

(We Are The Mighty | YouTube)
Humor

4 of the top reasons Chuck Norris is dead to me

Why do we worship Chuck Norris anyway? What has he ever done besides getting whopped by Bruce Lee in a bad sequel to Enter the Dragon?


When, exactly, did he become downright holy? I wish I could give you all the answers because he really grinds my gears!

Here are my top 4 reasons why Chuck Norris is dead to me:

Disclaimer: I am an Air Force veteran who spent the entirety of his 13 years in uniform as a Security Forces member. The following is written — and intended to be taken — in jest. I love Chuck Norris and I’ve actually been to his first Tae Kwan Do school. Also, we share a common duty unit (Osan, ROK).

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Pictured: The last ass-whipping Chuck Norris ever took. (Image from Golden Harvest’s Return of the Dragon).

Related: 5 of the best moves from Air Force Combatives

4. The Chuck Norris meme phenomenon

Where did this come from? Did he start them himself? Who decided he was so cool? He’s literally the master of life, according to the internet and I need answers!

I just don’t understand it, and we all hate things we don’t understand, right?

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Don’t forget to look away — Chuck Norris once beat the sun in a staring contest.

3. Total Gym? Yeah… it bites!

Have you ever actually tried to use a Total Gym?

Did you pinch parts of yourself in the nest of cables and pulleys all while getting exactly no workout from the supposed ‘gym,’ too? If so, then you know what I’m talking about.

It supposedly offers 80 different exercises, but you’d have to be a pretty clever f*cker to figure out more than three.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Pictured: Chuck Norris doing all 80 of the proposed exercises available on the Total Gym. (Image from Total Gym Direct)

2. He thinks he’s a Marine

I guess, he is a Marine — technically. He was made an honorary Marine back in 2007. That’s fine and dandy, but there’s one problem with that… he was already a veteran of the U.S. Air Force!

If you happen to be one of those few people who knew Chuck Norris was a veteran going into this article, it is likely that you thought he was a Marine. Just based on the sheer number of photo ops, he seems to love having wearing Marine Corps uniforms!

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Chuck Norris sharing a laugh with his fellow Marine. (USMC photo by Sgt. Sheila Brooks).

Also read: 5 best reasons why the Air Force doesn’t need warrant officers

1. Chuck Norris is omnipotent

If you believe everything you read on the Internet, then Chuck Norris is all-powerful and unstoppable — where’s the fun in that?

In fact, Chuck Norris is actually controlling my hands to write this piece because… well, Chuck Norris.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Chuck Norris never takes no for an answer. (Image from Cannon Films’ Invasion U.S.A.).

Humor

6 reasons why troops hate going to supply

Heading to supply — also known as Central Issue Facility — is one of the worst experiences troops go through during their career.


The experience is like a bad a roller coaster ride of emotions all while getting treated like sh*t. Since most service members can’t do their jobs without the proper gear supporting their mission, they must go to supply to get those necessary materials.

There are countless stories out there about the hell many of us have gone through during a visit to supply.

Most of which aren’t positive.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Jonny Arsu-Afari inspects equipment from Capt. Bobb Rousseau. (Source: Army.mil)

Related: 14 images that humorously recall your first firefight

Check out our list of why troops hate going to supply.

1. Dealing with grumpy civilians

For the most part, heading to Central Issue Facility means you’re going to encounter a few civilians who may not be in the best of moods when you walk up to their counter. We’re not sure if they’re instructed to be d*cks or not, but it’s nearly impossible to put a smile on any one of their faces.


2. Long a** lines

Typically, from the moment you walked into the supply building, tensions are high. It’s not your fault. It’s just the way the military prefers it. Although you may have an appointment and you’re there on time — you can’t cut in front of anybody if there’s a long line (that’s not cool).

The long line might not be the civilian employee’s fault — for once. It could be because of a few new troops who are just freaking slow and holding everybody up.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. (Image via Giphy)

3. Getting used crap

Canteens and warming layers are just some of the items you’re going to be issued that someone else either drank from or wore — probably naked.

Enjoy. (Image via Giphy)

4. Out of pocket costs

In some cases, troops have to pay out-of-pocket costs to replace broken gear. CIF doesn’t care where or how the item was broken, they just want it back so they can re-issue it to someone else. You may have to pay for the item or locate a replacement.

Damn. (Image via Giphy)

5. Neither rank nor reputation matters here

Things commonly go wrong at supply for various reasons. Having a high rank on your collar or telling the supply worker a story of why an item isn’t up to standard won’t get you anywhere.

That’s why the majority of all CIF workers are civilians. Military rank has virtually no power once you enter the building.

It’s because they don’t care. (Image via Giphy)

6. Rejection

All you want to do is check in your gear so you can move on with your life, but you need supply’s signature to do so.

But guess what?

You have a small dirty spot on your canteen pouch, and they won’t let you complete your check-in until you clean it. Which means, no civilian life for you until they get everything back.

No one wants to see this. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Articles

5 heroic movie acts a military officer would never do

Hollywood loves to use the military in its movies. You can’t blame Tinsel Town because they’re awesome. But on occasion, film directors and screenwriters tend not to identify the fine line between theatrical and practical.


Americans thrive on celebrating the actions of a war hero that saves the day (in slow motion of course) with the perfect Hans Zimmer underscore playing over the calibrated speakers. It’s emotionally driving.

Veterans can see through the bulls*** and know when our favorite characters go a little too far. So check out these heroic movie acts that an officer would never do (probably).

1.  Rhodey finds Tony

In Jon Favreau’s 2008 “Ironman” Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is kidnapped by a terrorist group and forced to build one of his deadly signature missiles the “Jericho.” Instead, the brilliant engineer creates the Mark 1 suit, defeats the first act villain and escapes.

 

Then, Rhodey (Terrance Howard) just so happens to show up finding Tony walking out and about in what appears to be a very large desolate area after spending three months in captivity. That’s quite a lot of missions he’d have to fly to save his missing bestie. With the odds that this was his first search and rescue mission, he should buy a lottery ticket.

2. Leave no man behind

Owen Wilson stars as a jokester Naval aviator who gets shot down and must fight to stay alive as he’s pursued by some pretty bad boys in Bosnia. Then, Rear Adm. Reigart, played Lex Luthor (I mean  Gene Hackman) risks everything — including his command — to fly out and rescue one of his men in “Behind Enemy Lines.”

That’s what we call heroic.

3. “You can’t handle the truth!”

Audiences love courtroom dramas and that’s why Hollywood continues to produce them.

In Rob Reiner’s 1992 hit “A Few Good Men,”  Lt. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) and Col. Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson) go toe-to-toe in the climatic third act of discovering the truth of who ordered the “code red.”

Let’s face it – real or not, it’s a freakin’ awesome scene!

4.  Engage – Engage!

2005’s “Rules of Engagement” stars Samuel L. Jackson playing Terry Childers, a Marine colonel who after successfully evacuating an American ambassador and his family in Yemen from an invading crowd orders his men to turn their sights on the invaders to end the fight — which contained women and children.

 

Also read: 35 technical errors in ‘Rules of Engagement’

5. Buzzing the tower

Tom Cruise plays Maverick in Tony Scott‘s “Topgun,” which was a hugely successful film in 1986 and helped sell tons of aviator sunglass. Admit it, you bought a pair.

After an epic battle with a Topgun instructor named Jester (played by Michael Ironside), Maverick gets a hair up his a** and decides to buzz the air control tower.

 

A pilot could totally lose his flight status for this prank.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

5 awful military haircuts that would fail inspection

Service members are held to a pretty high standard when it comes to grooming practices. The military requires that work uniforms look as neat as possible, men’s faces need to be clean shaven, and haircuts fall with in regulation.


Staying within these standards can be difficult, especially if you’re deployed. But for many, it’s just a matter of heading to the local base and getting a $12 haircut at the PX or NEX. The cut may not turn out celebrity style perfect, but you will be within regs.

Grooming standards vary amongst the branches, but at least one aspect remains the same — the hairline needs to be tapered. A fellow troop’s haircut is one of the first things veterans and service members notice.

Check out our list of military haircuts that would fail inspection:

1. War Daddy

In David Ayer 2014’s war movie “Fury,” Brad Pitt plays a hard-charging tank commander with a pretty awesome hair cut. But we can’t imagine how the Army managed to get a talented hair stylist out on the German front lines to keep his hair perfectly gelled.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
We guess everyone in the 1940s cut their hair like Macklemore. (Source: Sony/Screenshot)

2. American Sniper

The story of legendary Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle hit the big screen in 2014 directed by the iconic Clint Eastwood. With all the excellent production value the film had one aspect was over looked — this Marine’s sideburns.

We could mention he also needs to shave, but that’s not what this article is about — maybe next time.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
We bet he just asked the barber to take a little bit off the top before attending his big brother’s wedding. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Broken Arrow

Christian Slater plays Riley Hale, a military stealth pilot who needs to track down a war head, defeat the villains, and locate a pair of Osters.

We know it makes you sad to trim around the ears, but you know what else is sad? Terrorism. Now go shave.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
This haircut is so freakin’ bad; he’s pointing out exactly what’s wrong with it. (Source: Fox/ Screenshot/YouTube)

4. Full Metal Jacket

Although this Stanley Kubrick film is epic on multiple levels, it’s a hard fact to swallow that these Marines stationed on a large military base in Vietnam can’t find a pair of hair clippers. We’re just saying.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Joker (in the middle) looks depressed as he waits on the base barber to show the f*ck up. (Source: WB/Screenshot)


5. Jarhead 3: The Siege

The Jarhead franchise just won’t stop making bad movies. Not only does the corporal standing on the left need a quick touch up, but he may want to consider switching out his 8-point cover before the sergeant major rips him a brand new a**hole.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Maybe they bought the cover at an airsoft store? (Source: Universal/ Screenshot)

Bonus: Basic

John Travolta plays DEA investigator Tom Hardy (not that Tom Hardy) in 2003’s “Basic.” Although the character isn’t on active duty, his backstory in the film states he’s a former soldier. So before he goes out on a mission to locate a rogue soldier, we think he should clean it up around his ears.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
That look you give to your hair stylist after to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. (Source: Fox/YouTube/Screenshot)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

10 of the funniest ‘Top Gun’ memes ever created

When Tony Scott’s Top Gun landed in cinemas, it was an instant blockbuster, pulling in over $350 million worldwide.


Filled with adrenaline-packed scenes, Top Gun made audience members of all ages want to be the next woman-chasing, hotshot pilot.

Little did everyone know, years down the line, the iconic movie would give rise to some pretty hilarious memes.

Related: 11 memes that will make any infantryman laugh for hours

1. Just when you thought you couldn’t find anyone to go to the bar and pick up chicks with, Maverick saves the day!

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
However, if she turns out to be a flight instructor, you better help him sing her a song.

2. As writers, we just want to entertain our audience the best we can.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Well, we’ll try better on the next meme.

3. When a shirtless game of volleyball gets too real

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Please, no more missiles or guns.

4. “Sky dick” jokes will never get old… at least we hope not.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Also Read: The 13 funniest military memes for the week of March 16th

5. It’s okay when Maverick does it, but for everyone else, it’s considered a bad thing.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

6. We hope every boring training instructor reads this before heading into a class.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Nope. The powerpoint will still be boring. F*ck… we failed at getting the word out.

7. Top Gun 2 will come out… one day.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Tom Cruise will still want to do his own stunts.

8. See! We told you Sky Dick jokes will never die!

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
It literally won’t ever get old. Our careers at WATM are counting on it.

Don’t Forget: 11 hilarious Marine memes that are freaking spot on

9. Proof Brian Williams was a veteran.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
We were way off!

10. Write this down in case you forget.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Did you write it down? Because we don’t think you did.

Articles

This Air Force crew just spoofed that viral BBC interview

If you somehow are on the internet and haven’t seen the viral BBC interview of an expert on South Korea being interrupted during a BBC interview by his children, then you can see it here.


The dad is impressively collected as his wife rushes in to grab the children and pull them out, but the internet had a field day with the interview.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
(Photo: YouTube/Jon Millman)

Now, a U.S. Air Force crew has created a spoof video where a pilot is attempting to read her takeoff clearance back when the crew starts stumbling in. Another airman, probably the chief, has to rush in and grab the other crewmen out of the cabin.

The results are pretty great. You can check the video out below:

Humor

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Alcohol and parties are commonplace in the military. Only troops can throw a raging party on a Thursday that destroys the barracks, instigate a platoon versus platoon fist fight, and involve the Colonel’s hot 22-year-old daughter all while avoiding MPs being called and everyone making it to the 12-mile ruck in the morning. When those same troops get out and use their GI Bill, not a single one of them will be impressed when a classmate says, “Dude! This party is gonna be just like the film, Project X!”


Spoiler alert: It won’t. Not until a college kid rips down a door just to use it as a beer pong table will it even come close. Only a veteran with a DD-214 still warm from the printer can get that party going.

Here are 7 ways barracks parties get you ready for college life.

7. You can actually get the party started!

Veteran students are often seen as the most charismatic bunch. It’s not because we’re the most social people, we just don’t give a damn what people think of us.

This can lead others to follow us — especially to parties. Veterans won’t ever let those college kids down.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
How every veteran shows up to the party. (Image from Columbia Pictures’ 22 Jump Street)

6. You can entertain everyone, from every walk of life

Part of military life is meeting everyone from every corner of the country (in some cases, the world) and getting them drunk. If you want to see a beautiful photo of every race, ethnicity, religion, gender, economic status, and overall place in life, just check out the barracks on any given payday weekend. They’ll all be wasted and probably a few will have their shirts off.

College campuses usually have that same makeup, but veterans can bridge that gap… with copious amounts of alcohol.



Well, Wayne Gretzky did say, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” (Image via GIPHY)

5. You’ll actually know how to talk to the person you’re interested in

On or around military installations, to put it frankly, there aren’t that many beautiful women. If there is one, troops will literally fight each other for the chance to talk to her.

Take that same veteran, who needed to perfect the art of talking to the other sex, give them a strong personality and a good looking body, and let them loose.



We don’t even need to use BAH as a pick-up line anymore! (Image via GIPHY)

4. You’ll know how to hold your liquor

It takes a lot to get troops drunk. The general rule of thumb is to bring as much as you plan on drinking and then some extra. This results in troops coming to parties with bottles upons bottle of booze. All that, and they’ll still probably be just at the upper limit of tipsy or at least can pretend well enough that they aren’t sh*tfaced.

Don’t be surprised when a veteran downs an entire bottle of whiskey, straight, no chaser, and then asks who’s down for shots.



Civilians think they can drink. That’s cute. (Image via GIPHY)

 

3. You’ll know how to babysit

Troops always look after one another at barracks parties. We needed to make sure that no one got in trouble and that no one chokes on their own puke. When a situation arises, troops can snap back to sobriety well enough to handle it.

Being the only ones who can hold their liquor also means they’ll be sober enough to deal with everyone else’s problems when they’re drunk. And it’s never a fun problem like, “we need to hide the colonel’s hot 22-year old daughter! Dad’s on his way!” It’s always boring, civilian problems.



Vets will always carry you home. Mostly to flex for the ladies. (Image via GIPHY)

2. You’ll know how to make the next one even bigger

Troops have astounding drunken memory. They probably couldn’t tell you why they did what they did, but they can remember doing it.

Veterans will take mental notes as if they were a staff officer. They’ll check off what alcohol people actually drank, which music worked best, and who to invite (and not invite) next time.



A vet probably wouldn’t be joking though… (Image via GIPHY)

1. You can still make it to class the next day

Hangovers still exist. That’s just the way it is when you start adding more birthdays to your life. Troops just keep their mouths shut about it because they know they probably shouldn’t have drank an entire handle the night before an 0530 PT test.

When the only stressor is being able to make it to a 9 a.m. class to listen to a math lecture, veterans will probably still make it there fifteen minutes early.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
We worked too damn hard to throw away an opportunity at college. (Image via Reddit)

Articles

9 superpowers every medic would want in the field

Corpsmen and medics carry a mobile emergency room strapped to their backs along with their weapon systems — and it gets heavy. After going through months of intense medical training they can probably apply a wet tourniquet in the pitch black with one hand while under enemy fire.


Truth is, they can’t be everywhere at every moment. Make no mistake, if the medical staff could take care of everybody and send them home in one piece, they would.

Related: 6 superheroes who were also Air Force officers

If humans had special powers, these are the one’s Corpsmen and medics would want to make their jobs easier.

1. X-ray or heat vision

There’s no better tool for quickly checking for fractures or cauterizing bleeds.

She’s fine. (giphy)

2. Mind reading or telepathy

Corpsmen and medics not only have to care for the good guys but the bad ones as well. It would be badass if they knew who not to waste their time on if they knew who wasn’t really injured.

(giphy)

3. Teleportation or super speed

During a mass casualty, “Doc” is outnumbered by the number of people he or she needs to care for. Being able to render care swiftly and take them to medical in a blink of an eye would save time and resources.

“I hope I didn’t miss anyone.” (giphy)

4. Invincibility

Being pinned down in a firefight is crazy dangerous, but if bullets and mortars just bounce off of you running out in the open to save your comrade ain’t sh*t.

(giphy)

5. Super Strength

Because picking up heavy crap is important.

Lift with the legs, not your back.  (giphy)

6. Elasticity

During the chaos of battle, you can find yourself far from some supplies you need. So what better than to stretch out an arm to grab a bandage that happens to be several meters away?

(giphy)

7. Telekinesis

Why run out into a hail of gunfire if you can just drag the casualty to you?

(giphy)

8. Endurance

Hauling sick and injured people from A to B can get pretty exhausting if you’re out of shape.

(giphy)

Also Read: 5 ways your platoon would be different with Rambo in charge

9. Super intelligence

Because being smart rocks!

(giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below

Humor

7 different types of POGs you’ll meet on mainside

If it weren’t for every man and woman competently doing their jobs, our country’s military wouldn’t be as badass as it is today. However, the military is unofficially divided into two distinct sections: those who serve in the infantry (grunts) and people other than grunts (POGs).


Although everyone works hard at the same mission — eliminating the bad guys — their roles are distinctly different.

On most military bases, the infantry and the other guys are usually separated by distance or by commands. For instance, if you’re at Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton, the division side (infantry) is separated from the “mainside” (POGs and pilots) by a 25-minute drive down Basilone Road.

Once a grunt leaves the division side of the base, they’ll encounter Marines from another distinct culture on mainside. Sure, they’re “good-to-go,” but they’re not grunts.

Related: 6 of the most common infantry training injuries

1. The former infantryman

Infantry life is tough, and many grunts who proudly served decide their time is over and make a lateral move to a different job. It’s all good. Just be sure to take the knowledge you learned in the infantry and keep it to yourself.

We wouldn’t want anyone knowing our secrets.

2. The “buster”

There’s a guy or gal like this everywhere you go, to be honest. This person is looking to bust other service members for random reasons, like uniform issues or a lack of military bearing.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

3. The one who should have been a grunt

There’s always someone that you run into on the mainside who looks, talks, and walks like they should have earned the infantry MOS. Some say it’s because “the job wasn’t available during recruitment.” *cough* Sure, buddy.

Regardless, every hard charger who thinks they can handle the pressure of being a grunt should at least look into it.

4. The bodybuilder

Some military occupations have more time to go to the gym since they don’t spend five days a week eating MREs in the field — just sayin’.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Also Read: 6 different types of machine-gunners you’ll meet in the infantry

5. The NCO with three ribbons

In most branches, you have to do some incredible things to earn a ribbon. Some troops just don’t do enough to earn a few rows.

6. The storytellers

You’ll find them talking about combat-related events while they were deployed on a ship that they never left — or a large FOB where they couldn’t see the outside world from behind Hesco barriers.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Articles

This is what ‘Black Friday’ is like for new Marine recruits

Every year, millions of Americans rush out of their homes to the local retailers the day after Thanksgiving — aka Black Friday — for incredible, once-in-a-year deals.


Marine recruits also have a Black Friday — but it’s nowhere near as fun as getting a bunch of cool stuff.

Black Friday is the term Marines use when they finally come face-to-face with their hard-charging drill instructors who will train them up for the next 90 days.

Related: The Corps just added this new phase to help recruits practice being Marines

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
It’s Black Friday! Welcome to the bottom of the food chain, boot. (Source: USMC YouTube Screenshot)

Typically, once recruits meet their DIs, they will receive a barrage of easy-to-follow instructions under extreme stress, which causes them to have “brain farts” and screw up.

“I wanted to go home,” a former Marine joked, recalling that first meeting.

Once a recruit gets through the receiving phase of boot camp to Black Friday, it’s easier to make it all the way through the intense training and earn the title of Marine (versus getting sent back home on request).

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
The classic aftermath of Black Friday at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island.

For many drill instructors, the experience is just as intense, but their training incentive is to produce the best possible Marines before sending them off to their units.

“Here goes another 90-days,” former Marine DI Mark Hamett recalls. “Let’s do this!”

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Here we go.

Typically, after the physically demanding introduction, the drill instructors will use their outside voices inside to introduce themselves and inform the recruits, as a whole, what exactly will be expected from them.

Also Read: The 5 scariest things most recruits don’t know about the Army

Check out the Marines’ video below to watch the intense first meeting between recruits and their drill instructors. Then relish in the fact that you’re not in their shoes.

(Marines, YouTube)
Humor

7 things boots will set up an allotment to buy

Allotments are a good way for troops to schedule a payment directly through Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS), the service directly responsible for paying servicemembers. An allotment sets aside a portion of future paychecks and automatically sends the money elsewhere. If used properly, it can schedule payments on necessities or move funds to savings accounts. An allotment can be cancelled when the debt is paid or the savings goal is reached and troops can enjoy their full pay check again.


But young boots don’t see it that way. They may see it as an easy “IOU” and let Uncle Sam worry about the rest. They waste their money on useless crap and end up paying much more in the end — especially if they forget to cancel the allotment. Without research, they fall victim to very unsexy interest rates.

That’s not to say that vendors of everything on this list are hunting down dumb E-1’s in predatory manner. Some things on this list are beneficial and are encouraged, if taken care of properly. But you know, boots will be dumb and waste their when given the chance — are here’s the proof:

1. Tattoos

Not only do boots get the dumbest tattoos ever, but they often forget that good tattoos cost money, so instead of doing some research, they walk into the sketchy tattoo parlor outside the main gate.

Instead of paying the $500 even if the quality of the tattoo should have only cost $250 for an EGA tattoo, boots will set up a five month allotment giving the tattoo parlor $150 each month (if you’re not into math in public, that’s $750).

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Remember the tattoo forever, not the payment. (U.S. Navy photo by MCS 3rd Class Sean Elliott)

2. Gaming computers

The boot finally got out of momma’s basement and finally ready to become the bad ass they always played in video games!

Living in the barracks rent-free and using a meal card for food means boots have discretionary income for the first time ever…which they put right into an overpriced gaming computer that will be obsolete by the time they finish paying it off.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

3. TVs

Kind of similar to the gaming computers, but when someone sets up an allotment for a TV it’s usually more costly and takes up their entire barracks room.

If you need a giant ass TV so you can view every last pixel of whatever you’re watching, cool; but if you’re still straining your eyes while sitting at the other end of your barracks room, you kind of wasted your money.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
If you do have a huge TV, you better be hosting every party at your place! (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. James Avery)

4. Weapons

Everyone should be able to own a weapon. It’s their right. The problem comes when someone pays for a beautiful hunting rifle and then they learn they can’t keep it in the barracks.

Nearly every military installation has a policy on firearms being stored in lower enlisted housing. So to comply with the policy, firearms are to be held in the unit’s arms room. Think of how much of a pain in the ass it is getting your designated firearm out of the arms room on training days when the armorer is actually there — it’s even worse when you want to go to the range on their day off.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Good luck trying to get that dude there on a weekend. (Photo by Sgt. Emily Greene)

5. “Pay Day” loans

If you need money fast, there are countless other ways of going about it. Each branch has variations on an emergency relief funds to aid their troops in need of quick cash. And yes, your commander does need to sign off on it. And yes, it is still a loan you need to eventually pay back.

The problem with “Pay Day” loans is with the afore-mentioned interest rates.

Let’s say you borrow $100. If you go through the headache of getting your commander’s signature and the approval for the money, it’s interest free. You just slowly pay the $100 back. If you go through a “Pay Day” loan office off-base, they’ll charge interest, so now you’ve got to pay that loan off as soon as you can or you end up paying nearly quadruple the original amount.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

6. Star Cards

This falls into the “good if done properly” category. Military Star Cards are essentially credit cards that you can only use on military installations. They can be a great way for a young E-1 to help build credit to balance out the “credit inexperience” that shows up on everyone’s credit score early on. They can also be a great “Oh sh*t!” account if you need something that you can buy on-base. As a bonus, the rates are usually less aggressive than most credit card companies.

But if you’re a dumb boot who doesn’t understand that credit cards are not free money, well, the Star Card is a program of The Exchange and they’re far more knowledgeable in the military’s finance system than you.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Ever since they allowed the Star Card to be used at the Commissary, it’s even more valuable. But still, you shouldn’t max it out on beer unless you plan on paying it off at the end of the month. (Photo by Julie Mitchell)

7. Used cars

Two general rules of thumb when buying a used car outside a military installation: Bring a mechanic from your unit’s motor pool with you to help negotiate the price (for a case of beer and they’ll be a show-of-force to intimidate predatory car salesmen), and never ever EVER buy from a place that advertises “E-1 and above approved!” more than the actual cars.

Respectable car lots will sell you a car based on it’s Kelley Blue Book price and an interest rate befitting of your credit score, regardless of your pay grade or whether you’re in the military or not. Since your military service is an excellent “proof of income,” you shouldn’t have a hard time getting approved at a respectable car lot. So yes, setting up an allotment to them for your vehicle is a good example of how to properly set up an allotment.

But watch out for the sharks at places that give all used car salesmen their bad reputation. They prey on an E-1’s doubts about getting a beautiful Ford Mustang from anywhere else. They’ll say something like “If you set up an allotment, it’ll be fine!” They know the system and they’ll use it against you.

So congratulations! You may have driven off with that Mustang, but you’re going to be paying for it at a 31% interest rate for the next six years for 800% more than what Kelley Blue Book says it’s worth.

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman
Third rule: If they ever say something like “For you, my friend,” don’t listen — they’re about to f*ck you…and not in the good way. (Photo by Emilio Labrador)

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