Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. There are a few things you need to know with the holiday falling on a Saturday:
• Stereotyping the Irish is not the same as any other ethnicity. Do not protest. Don't even bring it up.
• Parkour is way, way harder than it looks. Do not attempt.
• The Fast and Furious movies are not documentaries.
Try not to end up in First Sergeant's office.
1. This also applies to athletes and politicians. But not firemen — firemen are goddamn heroes. (via Decelerate Your Life)
I don't give a sh*t what your National Defense Medal says.
2. We found your juice boxes, Air Force.
How's it taste?
3. Remember that skydick the Navy made? NASA is unimpressed.
Draw a dick on Mars and no one bats an eye. Draw one in the sky and everyone loses their minds.
4. That time Big Bird went full veteran.
Public television needs more funding.
5. I'll take another SEAL movie if this is the cast.
Can we get just one movie about combat camera?
6. Who's the only real Commander-in-Chief?
Trump who? Never heard of her.
7. Britain and Russia talk sh*t all week. Russians aren't scared.
General Winter now has a face.
8. If you don't laugh, read a history book.
Or Google it.
9. It's funny 'til you read about real Soviet snipers in WWII, boot. (via Military World)
I hope her date is okay, though.
10."You're my family and I love you, but you're terrible. You're all terrible." (via Pop Smoke)
It's just a joke. All base housing is terrible.
11. Halfway through Mustache March, half the Air Force reconsiders. (via Air Force Memes and Humor)
And rightfully so.
12. All it needs is a Coors Light. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)
13. Here's another tough pill to swallow. (via Untied Status Marin Crops)
Only that pension they were promised is gonna be a shitty blended retirement instead.