Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' - We Are The Mighty
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Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

The Art of War by Sun Tzu is an ancient classic. There are free versions of the masterpiece available everywhere, from Wikipedia to Amazon, but let’s face it: Sometimes, depending on the translation, it can be hit-or-miss in terms of readability. It was written in the 5th century BC, after all.


Thankfully, there’s an alternative. On YouTube, someone’s been distilling the essence of this military classic. Each chapter has its own video.

The video here discusses one of the most important aspects of war: terrain. If you’ve seen the 1993 movie Gettysburg, you might remember the early portion of the film where John Buford recognizes the terrain that would dominate the battlefield, to wit, Cemetery Ridge. As history shows, Buford tactically deployed his troops, buying time for the Union to take control of Cemetery Ridge. With that control, they eventually won the battle, marking the last time that the Confederate Army invaded the North. Combined with the fall of Vicksburg on July 4, 1863, the defeat of the South was only a matter of time.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Union General John Buford (Library of Congress photo)

 

Battles can be won or lost depending on how land is used. These are the 9 terrains, as described by Sun Tzu, that can dramatically influence the tide of battle.

1. Dispersive Ground

This is defined as territory you control at the start of the war. Sun Tzu advises never fighting here, simply because battles are destructive. Make the mess on the enemy’s territory. Joan of Arc used what Sun Tzu called the proper strategy for this terrain by always taking the fight elsewhere.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Image from Wikimedia Commons)

 

2. Facile Ground

This is the initial portion of enemy territory. When you’re in this space, keep moving. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a lot of trouble.

3. Contentious Ground

This is ground that can provide a force with a serious advantage in a battle. The aforementioned Cemetery Ridge and its effect on the Battle of Gettysburg is a prime example of contentious ground. You want to identify this terrain and defend it.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
1st Minnesota at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, July 2, 1863. (Painting by Don Troiani courtesy of the National Guard)

 

4. Open Ground

This is ground where you (and the enemy) can move easily. Think the deserts of Iraq and Saudi Arabia. You don’t want to try to block the enemy, because any attempts can be easily outmaneuvered. Saddam Hussein made that mistake in Desert Storm.

5. Ground of Intersecting Highways

This is where three or more countries meet. In this situation, make like a contestant on Survivor or Big Brother and form alliances. The one who’s left out… well, you wouldn’t want to be them.

6. Serious Ground

When you’ve gone deep into enemy territory, leaving fortified cities behind, you’re in a serious situation. Your best bet is to just loot, plunder, and then get out.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Art looted by the Nazis during World War II. (U.S. Army photo)

 

7. Difficult Ground

As it suggest, this is very tough terrain to travel through. Think forests, mountains — that sort of stuff. This is ground you just want to march on through. These are places where guerrillas can wreak havoc, so be cautious.

8. Hemmed-In Ground

This is also called a ‘chokepoint.’ A prime example is the pass at Thermopylae, where King Leonidas and 300 Spartans famously held off the Persian Army. In this case, your best bet is to come up with a stratagem (or find someone who’s willing to betray the other side).

 

 

9. Desperate Ground

This is terrain where you can’t exactly retreat. Your only strategy is to fight — and it will likely be a battle to the death.

 

Lists

23 ridiculously long military acronyms (and what they mean)

The military is notorious for using acronyms and abbreviations, and here are 23 of them that approach YGTBSM status:


 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

1. AARDACONUS – Army Air Reconnaissance for Damage Assessment in the Continental United States

2. ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC – Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command (US Navy)

3. ARCCbtWMD – Army Council for Combating Weapons of Mass Destruction

4. ASTAMIDS – Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System (Photo: L-3)

5. CASTFOREM – Combined Arms and Support Task Force Evaluation Model

6. COMNAVAIRSYSCOM – Commander, Naval Air Systems Command

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Vice Adm. David Dunaway, Commander, Naval Air Systems Command and member of USNA’s great Class of ’82.

 

7. DEFREMANEDCEN – Defense Resources Management Education Center

8. FLEASWTRACENPAC – Fleet Anti-Submarine Warfare Training Center – Pacific

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

9. HERCULES – Heavy Equipment Recovery Combat Utility Lift and Evacuation System (pictured below being loaded on to a C-17)

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
HERCULES being loaded onto a C-17 (Photo: Jason Minto/USAF)

10. HELANTISUBRON5 – Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron Five

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

 

11. HRCCIOSPB – Human Resources Command Chief Information Office Strategic Planning Branch

12. INCONMOVREP – Intra‐Continental United States Movement Report

13. MARCORSYSCOM – Marine Corps Systems Command

14. MILPERSIMS – Military Personnel Information System

15. MOBAALOCO – Mobilization Active Army locator

16. NAVCOMTELSTA ASCOMM DET WHIDBEY – Naval Computer and Telecommunication Station, Antisubmarine Warfare Communications Center Detachment Whidbey Island

17. NAVEODTECHDIV – Naval Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technology Division

18. POPNAMRAD – Policies, Organizations, and Procedures in Non‐atomic Military Research and Development

19. Prime BEEF – Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force. Pictured below, members of the U.S. Air Force 577th Expeditionary Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force Squadron constructs a dome shelter on Camp Marmal, Afghanistan.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Senior Airman Sandra Welch/USAF

20. RED HORSE – Rapid Engineers Deployable Heavy Operations Repair Squadron, Engineers

21. SINCGARS – Single-Channel Ground and Airborne Radio System

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Wikipedia

22. SLAMRAAM – Surface Launched Advanced Medium Range Air to Air Missile.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Wikipedia

 

23. USAADACENFB – United States Army Air Defense Artillery Center, Fort Bliss

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

NOW: 11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

OR: The 12 most iconic military recruiting spots of all time

Articles

The 9 best attack helicopters in the world

Attack helicopters are fierce predators that go after enemy troop formations and guard friendlies. Here are the 9 that most effectively prowl the battlefield:


1. Ka-52 “Alligator”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Youtube

Capable of operating at high altitude and speed, the two-seater Ka-52 snags the top spot from the usual winner, the Apache. The Alligator’s anti-ship missiles have better range than the Apache and the helicopter boasts similar armor and air-to-air capability. A one-seat version, the Ka-50, is also lethal.

2. AH-64 Apache

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Crown Copyright/Staff Sgt. Mike Harvey

The AH-64 is armed with a lot of weapons including Hellfire missiles, 70mm rockets, and a 30mm automatic cannon. Its tracks and prioritizes 256 contacts with advanced radar and targeting systems. Optional Stinger or Sidewinder missiles turn it into an air-to-air platform. The newest version, AH-64E Guardian, is more efficient, faster, and can link to drones.

3. Mi-28N “Havoc”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2lqjCYai0

The night-capable version of the Mi-28, the “Havoc” carries anti-tank missiles that can pierce a meter of armor. It also has pods for 80mm unguided rockets, five 122mm rockets grenade launchers, 23mm guns, 12.7mm or 7.62mm machine guns, or bombs. It also has a 30mm cannon mounted under its nose.

4. Eurocopter Tiger

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Wikipedia/bidgee

The Tiger minimizes its radar, sound, and infrared signatures to avoid enemy munitions and still has thick armor, just in case. It carries a 30mm turret, 70mm rockets, air-to-air missiles, and a wide variety of anti-tank missiles as well as countermeasures for incoming missiles .

5. Z-10

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Youtube

The Z-10 has an altitude ceiling of nearly 20,000 feet and carries capable anti-tank missiles, TY-90 air-to-air missiles, and a 30mm cannon. The Z-10 was originally considered a triumph of the Chinese defense industry, but it was actually designed by Russian manufacturer Kamov, the company behind the Ka-52 and Ka-50.

6. T-129

An upgraded version of the Italian A-129, the T-129 is a Turkish helicopter carrying robust UMTAS anti-tank missiles, rockets, and Stinger missiles. Its cannon is relatively small at 20mm, but it can zip around the battlefield at 150 knots, rivaling the newest Apaches.

7. Mi-24 Hind

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Youtube

The Mi-24 carries understrength anti-tank missiles by modern standards, but it’s great against infantry. Multiple machine guns up to 30mm chew up enemy troops while thick armor grants near-immunity from ground fire up to .50-cal. It also doubles as a transport, carrying up to eight infantrymen or four litters.

8. AH-1Z Viper

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Rebekah Adler

A heavily upgraded version of the first attack helicopter, the Viper still has a lot of bite. Hellfire missiles destroy enemy tanks and ships while a 20mm cannon picks off dismounts and light vehicles. Sidewinder missiles allow it to engage enemy air from a respectable distance.

9. AH-2 Rooivalk

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: Youtube

The AH-2 is a South African helicopter that uses a stealthy design, electronic countermeasures, and armor to survive threats on the battlefield. While it’s there, it fires a 20mm cannon, TOW or ZT-6 Mokopa anti-tank missiles, or rockets at its enemies. There are plans for it to gain an air-to-air capability.

Articles

5 obvious fixes for the military’s weight problem

A new Military Times article found that the U.S. military has a bit of a weight problem, with the Army taking the top spot as the nation’s fattest, with 10.5 percent of its soldiers being overweight. The Military Times found 7.8 of the U.S. military overall are clinically obese, according to Pentagon data.


The military’s creeping weight problems are a significant issue for a country that faces a potential war against near-peer enemies. Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark Milley predicts that if that war comes, then “if you stay in one place longer than two or three hours, you will be dead. That obviously places demands on human endurance.”

But the military branches have some obvious choices that could help troops maintain healthier weights, making it easier to fight on future battlefields. While this article focuses on potential fixes for the Army, all the branches have similar ways to win the battle of the bulge.

1. Seriously, it’s time have to look at DFAC design

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Corey Foreman)

So, meats and other main plate items are rationed out by military cooks and contractors who work at dining facilities, but desserts and soda are available for troops to grab for themselves.

Surely, a military fighting a weight problem would rather its soldiers choose more lean proteins and complex carbs than sugary desserts. So why not make the healthier option the easier one? Admittedly, the proteins cost more than the desserts, but replacing a soldier who becomes too fat to serve is pretty expensive too.

2. Increase the ratio of nutrition classes to information assurance classes

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Classes on not sleeping with foreign spies (SAEDA) and not downloading viruses to government computers (IA) are annual training requirements. But most service members will never receive a comprehensive class on nutrition and fitness unless they are already flagged for being overweight.

Many posts have these classes, but they’re not required and are minimally advertised, if at all. Troops who want to enroll in nutrition or weight loss classes can usually find one by checking for the nutrition clinic at their base hospital.

3. Take a hard look at the nutrition cards in the DFAC

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
The Army’s Go For Green® program has specific criteria for food categories. (Screenshot from quartermaster.army.mil)

The Army has a fairly comprehensive program for determining the nutritional quality of food. Dishes are categorized by color to quickly tell troops whether a certain item is dubbed a “High Performance Food,” “Moderate Performance Food,” or a “Low Performance Food.”

These categories are well defined in easy-to-read charts as part of the Go For Green program, and the service labels all foods in a dining facility with color-coded cards that denote that food’s category.

But, the Army’s labels can be confusing. For instance, its hamburger yakisoba contains a whopping 813 mg of sodium, a level that would — according to the Army’s charts — qualify a dish for the “Low Performance Food” category. But, it’s labeled green, just like oven-baked chicken which contains fewer calories, fat, and sodium as well as more protein and calcium.

Meanwhile, tropical baked pork chops have fewer calories, about the same amount of fat, and more protein than yakisoba while containing 79 percent less sodium. But they carry a red label.

4. Encourage self-referrals to supplemental PT sessions and nutrition classes

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Salads are a healthy part of a balanced diet, but most troops need more information than that. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Marcus Floyd)

A soldier who voluntarily enters a substance abuse program cannot — according to Army Regulation 623-3, paragraph 3-24 — be penalized on his evaluation report for drug addiction.

But no such protection exists for soldiers who refer themselves to a physical fitness program. So soldiers who tell their command that they have a weight problem can be penalized for the weight problem that they self-identified and asked for help.

5. All PT sessions should help you prepare for combat (not just build esprit de corps)

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Army by Markus Rauchenberger)

It was basically a mantra in most physical training sessions that this writer attended that, “Unit PT builds esprit de corps and unit cohesion. It’s not designed to help you pass the PT test.”

Now most of the PT sessions did build towards military performance and test success. But, shouldn’t all, or at least nearly all, physical training sessions train the soldier’s physical body? And leaders do have top-cover for this approach.

Army Field Manual 7-22 only recommends a single PT event as being solely for esprit de corps instead of physical training, the unit formation run. In paragraph 10-34, the guide states that these runs, “should be performed no more than once per quarter due to the limited training effect offered for the entire unit.” Yeah. This former active duty soldier had to run those things weekly.

Lists

7 things your lieutenant is really doing in his office

Nine times out of 10, enlisted troops are glad that their lieutenant’s office is far, far away. However, it’s 1700 and everyone has been standing in formation for 40 minutes – where is he? What kind of boot-tenant sorcery is going on in there? Whoever gave him a map and compass needs to be hazed right now. This is what your lieutenant is really doing in his office.

1. They’re getting pranked

New lieutenants, also known as butter bars and boot-tenants, are at the bottom of the officer totem pole. They may not get hazed like enlisted do but they get messed with like they’re in a fraternity. This one time my Lt. and I were walking into his office discussing upcoming training when he suddenly stops.

‘Not again.’

This man’s whole office furniture is missing. Suddenly, a burst of laughter from down the hall and he gives chase. There’s giggling until moments later I hear Sergeant Major laying into them like they’re back at The Basic School. If your lieutenant is late and flustered, he may have been pranked.

2. They’re taking a nap

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
An office isn’t exactly a luxury suite, but it makes a better nap location than this.

No judgement here, sneaking a little shut eye during ‘hurry up and wait’ never hurt anyone.

3. They’re stuck talking to the higher ups

When an enlisted troop avoids an officer it’s because they do not feel like giving a salute. When your lieutenant avoids officers it is because they do not want to get dragged into a long-winded conversation with the colonel. You only see the higher ups briefly; they’re stuck with them all day long. Lieutenants will try to interrupt and break contact but the salty ol’ major wants to finish his story about bass fishing first. Meanwhile, the company commander walks in and wants to share his two cents. It becomes an infinite feedback loop of small talk he cannot escape – because they’re in his office.

4. They’re texting

Yes, just like everyone else they own phones and play video games on them. That’s why your leave still isn’t approved.

5. They’re catching up on paperwork

lieutenant doing paperwork

Between getting messed with, held against their will and sitting in endless briefings they still need to do their job. The operations officer wants a roster of everybody who needs to qualify on the rifle range within the next three months, the company executive officer needs a map and five paragraph order for the upcoming field op, the S-4 needs a roster of how many MREs to order, etc. That’s why they’re a pain when it comes to turning information over to them.

6. They’re doing PT

They would rather be with the troops or go to gym but there may be time crunch. That’s why they’re always so eager to hover around the platoon, otherwise it’s burpee time.

7. They’re repacking their gear

Lieutenants have to set the example of how the gear should be packed — unless there is a company or battalion Stand Operating Procedure, guideline, on how thing should be squared away. He’ll likely be there with the platoon sergeant taping every strap, quadruple checking the packing list, and weighing the pack for good measure.

Lists

The best military camouflage patterns

Camouflage is used the world over by man and beast, to hunt, to hide, to be seen. While many animals have specialized their camouflage to the local environment, military needs are more varied. More often than not military applications must be useful in multiple locations and in varying conditions. What is the most effective camo pattern, past or present, could be argued until the cows come home and new patterns are being prototyped every day. What we’re concerned with here is the popular opinion on production prints.


Whether serviceman, serving or retired, pattern aficionado, paintball or airsoft warrior, or simply like to voice your opinion on the best looking cloth -here is the place to vote.

The best military camouflage patterns is an open list, please add any missing patterns and respect the criteria.

 

The Best Military Camouflage Patterns

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Articles

The 12 most iconic roles in military movie history

We’ve all served with the zealot, the screamer, the wild man, the badass, the strange agent, and other signature personalities, but have we seen them accurately presented in movies? Well, sometimes. And in some cases when Hollywood has tackled military topics they’ve gone beyond simply “getting it right” and moved into the arena where icons are forged. Here are 12 examples of when movie makers got it absolutely right and then some:


1. Jack Nicholson as Colonel Nathan R. Jessup in “A Few Good Men”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Col. Jessup is as badass as grunts come . . . right up to the point where he gets his ass handed to him by a weenie JAG officer. With classic lines like “I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous,” and, of course, “You can’t handle the truth!” Nicholson’s reading of this somewhat psycho colonel is among the best military characters Hollywood ever created.

2. Steve McQueen as Captain Virgil Hilts in “The Great Escape”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Arguably the late Steve McQueen’s best work, Capt Hilts of the Army Air Corps is known around the stalag as the “cooler king” because of all the time he’s logged in solitary confinement following his escape attempts. In the climactic scene he jumps a barbed wire fence on a motorcycle (the only stunt McQueen didn’t perform himself in the film) but gets caught up in a second fence and is recaptured. The final scene shows him being thrown back into the cooler, but his attitude shows that it’s only a matter of time before he tries to escape again (because he’s an American fighting man).

3. Robert Duvall as Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore in “Apocalypse Now!”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

In a high-budget blockbuster full of stars like Martin Sheen and Marlon Brando, Duvall steals the show with his portrayal of Army helo squadron skipper Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore. As Sheen’s character muses, Kilgore “had that light in his eye . . . you knew he wasn’t going to get so much as a scratch on him in Vietnam.” And Kilgore cements his military movie icon status with lines like “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” and “Charlie don’t surf!” Cue “Ride of the Valkyries” and go win some hearts and minds.

4. R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in “Full Metal Jacket”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Before “Full Metal Jacket” came out in 1987 the pop culture standard for a DI was Sergeant Carter from the TV comedy “Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.” That changed in a big way with Ermey’s brilliant portrayal of Gunny Hartman, as tough as he is doomed (oops, spoiler alert for any of you maggots who haven’t seen this Stanley Kubrick-directed masterpiece). Hartman remains the cinematic boot camp standard by a mile with lines like “did your parents have any children that lived?” and “choke yourself, Pyle!” Ooh-rah, Devil Dog!

5. Gregory Peck as General Frank Savage in “12 O’ Clock High”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Peck plays General Frank Savage, a B-17 driver who inherits a shitty command in the middle of high-tempo ops. Loses have been high and morale sucks, and Savage’s initial attempts to square the unit away are met with stiff resistance. In time his superior leadership techniques take hold and things improve. Peck does a great job of capturing the nuances surrounding the age-old facts that life is lonely at the top and being in charge is no popularity contest. There’s a reason this movie is shown in military leadership courses.

6. John Wayne as Captain Rockwell “Rock” Torrey in “In Harm’s Way”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Some fans of “The Duke” may argue that “The Green Beret” or “Sands of Iwo Jima” are his signature military roles, but he brings a lot more to the role of Capt. Rock Torrey. “In Harm’s Way” was a groundbreaking (and shocking with subplots that tackle themes like adultery and professional misconduct) film in its day and still holds up in many respects for how it presents the complexities of Navy life during wartime. “In Harm’s Way” allows Wayne to do more than just swagger; he stretches his talents as an actor. And because of that it’s his best military work.

7. George C. Scott as General George S. Patton in “Patton”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Everything the nation knows about General George S. Patton is a function of this movie and George C. Scott’s amazing performance in it. “Patton” presents the general as the flawed genius he was, as brilliant as he was self-destructive and reckless. The opening soliloquy alone is total money:  “No damn bastard ever won a war by dying for his country,” he says in front of a giant flag backdrop. “He won it by making the other poor damn bastard die for his country.”

8. Alec Guinness as Lieutenant Colonel Nicolson in “Bridge on the River Kwai”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Before he was in “Star Wars” as Obi-Wan Kenobe urging Luke Skywalker to use the force, Sir Alec Guinness played Lt. Col. Nicolson, the senior ranking officer among prisoners held by some nasty Japanese troops. Guinness’ Nicolson is tough and resourceful and good at messing with his captors, especially when it comes to figuring out ways of keeping the construction of the Bridge on the River Kwai from proceeding. His performance is as good a cinematic example as there is for why the Brits make great allies.

9. Robert De Niro as Staff Sergeant Michael Vronsky in “The Deerhunter”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Staff Sergeant Vronsky is ballsy-as-pozz, especially during the Russian Roulette scenes. And good luck not yelling “hell yeah!” at the screen when he overpowers his VC captors and escapes. De Niro’s performance is moving and feels authentic, and he does the special forces community proud while at the same time showing the sometimes tragic impact of war on a small town.

10. Tom Hanks as Captain John H. Miller in “Saving Private Ryan”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

“Saving Private Ryan” did much toward dispelling the myth that World War II was somehow cleaner than the wars that followed, and that cinematic landscape is made all the more real by Tom Hanks’ portrayal of Capt. John Miller, a school teacher-turned-war-weary-warfighter who knows the meaning of duty and leads by example. His on-screen sacrifice is truly felt and is a worthy representation of what earned The Greatest Generation their label.

11. Sterling Hayden as General Jack D. Ripper in “Dr. Strangelove”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

This Cold War satirical masterpiece about B-52s gone wild by the orders of a lunatic wing commander is made pitch perfect by Sterling Hayden’s performance as General Jack D. Ripper (get it?). From his musings about post-coitus epiphanies (“loss of essence,” as he calls it) to his fears about the commie plot that is fluoridation, Hayden’s Ripper should be funny enough to scare us all that he might actually exist (and have his finger on the button).

12. Jürgen Prochnow as Captain-Lieutenant Henrich Lehmann-Willenbrock in “Das Boot”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

The U-boat war was a little-explored part of military movies until “Das Boot” was released in 1981. Jürgen Prochnow does an amazing job playing the captain of the submarine toward the end of the war. The crew is beat down and the Nazi rhetoric has long since rung hollow, but there is still a mission to carry out and a war to survive. Lehmann-Willenbrock is as good a leader as military movies have ever created, and his courage, skill, and empathy are timeless. Watch this one and find yourself routing for the other side. (“Das Boot” is best viewed in German with English subtitles, by the way.)

Now: The 16 best military movies of all time

Lists

7 things that need to be in your veteran starter kit

You just got your DD-214! Congrats, you made out alive. You’re officially a veteran.


Now that you’re not under any specific grooming standards or have to wear the same thing every day — how will your fellow veterans know who you are?

You’re in luck. We created a checklist of everything you’ll need to start your new life as a post-service veteran.

Write this down:

1. Oakley sunglasses

Any sunglasses will do, but since this line of eyewear looks freaking tactical — you’ll continue to wear them just to prove you know how to operate.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Oakley, when you want people to know you used to be tactical AF — without telling them. (Source: Defense Review)

2. A “heroes bracelet” designed for veterans

What better way to remember your fallen brothers than this black or silver engraved piece of gear. They’re durable, inexpensive, and meaningful. Be ready to drop kick any civilian that tries to make fun of you for wearing a bracelet.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

3. An assault pack

You know that awesome camouflage pack you didn’t get to keep when you did your final check out?

Well, guess what? You can buy it online or from the base PX (bring that new green ID) and use it to carry all your school books when you start using your G.I. Bill.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Rip Its not included.

 

4. A veteran separation beard

Guess what? You don’t have to shave every day if you don’t want to — not anymore. So toss away that single blade razor until you f*ckin’ feel like using it. You’re a free man now.

5. A shirt from a veteran owned business

Now that you’re a veteran, it’s time to dress the part. Wearing a kick ass design from Grunt Style, Ranger Up, or Article 15 Clothing will ensure that everyone knows you’re in the club.

 

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
www.gruntstyle.com

6. A ball cap with the American flag on it

Nothing says “I love America” like a tan ball cap with a curled brim.

The curled brim doubles as a great place to rest those Oakley sunglasses when the sun goes down and you don’t feel like holding them in your hands or clipping them to your shirt.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Source: Rally point)

7. You still buy 550 cord — because it’s freakin’ great!

You never heard of this outstanding cord before serving — but now that you know about it, you can’t stop tying everything with it.

Just when you think the whole world has let you down, 550 cord won’t.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Articles

7 life events inappropriately described using military lingo

Military service members are famous for their special lingo, everything from branch-specific slang to the sometimes stilted and official language of operation orders.


That carefully selected and drafted language ensures that everyone in a complex operation knows what is expected of them and allows mission commanders to report sometimes emotional events to their superiors in a straightforward manner.

But there’s a reason that Hallmark doesn’t write its cards in military style for a reason. There’s just something wrong with describing the birth of a first-born child like it’s an amphibious operation.

Anyway, here are seven life events inappropriately described with military lingo:

1. First engagement

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
A U.S. Marine proposes to his girlfriend during a surprise that hopefully led to an ongoing and happy marriage. (Photo: Sgt Angel Galvan)

“Task force established a long-term partnership with local forces that is expected to result in greater intelligence and great successes resulting from partnered operations.”

2. Breaking off the first engagement

“It turns out that partnered forces are back-stabbing, conniving, liars. The task force has resumed solo operations.”

3. Marriage

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Again, this is a joke article but we really hope all the marriages are ongoing and happy. (Photo: U.S. Air Force Cpt. Angela Webb)

“Partnered operations with local forces have displayed promising results. The new alliance with the host nation will result in success. Hopefully.”

4. Buying a first home

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Army Sgt. Eric Glassey)

“The squad has established a secure firebase. Intent is to constantly improve the position while disrupting enemy operations in the local area. Most importantly, we must interrupt Steve’s constant requests that we barbecue together. God that guy’s annoying.”

5. Birth of the first child

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
*Angels play harmonious music* (Photo: Pixabay/photo-graphe)

“Task force welcomed a new member at 0300, a most inopportune time for our partnered force. Initial reports indicate that the new member is healthy and prepared to begin training.”

6. Birth of all other children

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: Gilberto Santa Rosa CC BY 2.0)

“Timeline for Operation GREEN ACRES has been further delayed as a new member of the task force necessitates 18 years of full operations before sufficient resources are available for departure from theater.”

7. Retirement

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: Lsuff CC BY-SA 2.0)

“Task force operators have withdrawn from the area of operations and begun enduring R and R missions in the gulf area as part of Operation GREEN ACRES. Primary targets include tuna and red snapper.”

Lists

5 secrets to shopping at the Commissary with the kids

Shopping in any grocery store with children (young or old) can be a real pain. Add in going to the commissary on payday and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Maybe you’ve already tried all of the tricks for navigating shopping with kids in tow. Or are you are new to the whole grocery with kids game? Either way, try these five parent-tested secrets for making it through the experience without losing your mind.


1. Do it in the car

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

No list? No plan? Before you jump out of the car, write down must-have items and meal ideas, then prep any necessary items before you unleash the munchkins. Refresh your mind on coupons, write down any necessary purchases you remembered on your way there, and make sure you have any distraction items for the baby. It’s better to do this now than before you get in the store.

2. Get Attached

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

If they are little enough, the best place to have your kids is hanging out on you in a carrier. You can talk to them while you go to shelves and they aren’t climbing out of the cart and getting hurt. If they are at the in-between age where they want to run around, make holding onto the cart a game. “If you hold on through this aisle, you can pick out the cereal.” Or, if they sit still in the cart, say they can have a slice of cheese at the deli or bring a healthy treat along to get them through a rough spot. Make the reward something that can be given sooner rather than later.

3. Create a game

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Involve you kids in the process and they’ll look at the grocery store as a fun place to be. Can they spy something orange in the fruit section? Find things that begin with “A”? See if they can locate the can of tomatoes you always buy first. How many uniforms can they count in the store? Don’t be afraid of looking a little silly. The commissary is a little crazy on payday anyway!

4. Give them a job

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Oh, how kids love to help! But often it is the kind of help that gets them in trouble. Instead of letting them pick and choose their role, give your little helper a job each time you go. “You are in charge of crossing things off of the list.” Be sure to bring a clipboard. Or maybe they can get the items off of the low shelves. Can they help you pick out apples while sitting in the shopping cart? The more involved you make them on your terms, the less they will be on the receiving end of a reprimand.

5. Acknowledge and avoid their triggers

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Kids feed off of your anxiety and the more amped up you are the crazier they feel. If you know you have a big shopping trip, don’t make it 20 minutes before lunchtime. Everyone will be hungry and grumpy, and you’ll have to rush through the store. If naptime is at noon, avoid bumping up against it and opt to go afterwards. If you know your child is going to flip in the cereal aisle, distract him as you grab the Cheerios. You know what has made shopping a miserable experience every trip before so create a battle plan that will keep you and your shopping buddy happy right to the checkout.

This article originally appeared on Military Spouse. Follow @MilSpouseMag on Twitter.

Lists

5 things we wished we knew before joining the Navy

Joining the Navy is one of the best learning experiences for a young adult — especially if it’s their first time away from home.


When you talk to a recruiter about signing up, they’ll likely sell you on all of the positives and leave out most of the less attractive aspects.

That said, most of us don’t do enough homework on our own to understand what life is really like in the Navy.

Related: 9 reasons you should have joined the Marines instead

So, check out five things we wished we knew before joining the Navy.

5. All the additional duties

In some smaller naval commands, there typically aren’t enough Masters-at-Arms (the Navy’s military police) to guard all the bases’ gates. What’s even worse, there sometimes isn’t enough room in the budget to pay civilians to defend those iron fences either.

So, what does the Navy do to fill those roles? They turn to the junior enlisted personnel who aren’t even trained to guard a box of coloring books.

The Navy created A.S.F. — or Auxiliary Security Force — made from various Navy rates, like cooks and mechanics, to stand guard duty.

4. The rank of ‘seaman’ sounds worse when it’s yours

Some rates in the Navy aren’t even called seamen when they get to the rank of E-3 — so that’s a plus. Corpsman who are E-3s are referred to as Hospitalman while Seabees are called constructionmen, so we luck out.

Other ranks don’t have that privilege. It can be embarrassing saying, “Seaman Smith, reporting for duty.”

Catch our drift?

3. You can graduate boot camp as an E-3

Some young adults score so high on their ASVAB that when they pick an academically challenging rate, they’re automatically promoted in boot camp.

There are others ways to get promoted, like earning college credit before enlisting or recruiting other people, which most people don’t know.

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’

Seaman Richard Cassube (left) assists Seaman Jeremy Cryer (right) with the proper measurements of the ribbons on his dress uniform in preparation for their upcoming graduation.  (U.S. Navy Photo by Susan Krawczyk)

2. All the different bases you can be stationed at

Many people don’t know that the Navy integrates with the other branches. In fact, it’s not uncommon for a sailor to serve in an office building on an Air Force base.  So, not only can you serve on a ship or a Naval base, but you can be stationed on an Army, Air Force, or Marine Base, too.

Also Read: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

1. Regardless of your junior enlisted rank, you’re going to clean… a lot.

This is the aspect most recruiters (if not all) forget to tell you about. Sure, you will frequently clean your berthing quarters, but you’ll clean areas you don’t usually occupy during the week.

We’re training to go to war, but first, we need to mop the senior chief’s floor. Son-of-a-b*tch!

Articles

15 quotes from Gen. Mad Dog’ Mattis, slayer of bodies

Marine Corps Gen. James “Mad Dog” Mattis is known for his aggressive tactics and his even more aggressive quotes.


While he embraced counter-insurgency tactics with the rest of the military, his quotes put a decidedly lethal spin on “low-intensity combat.” Check out these 15 great Mattis quotes — but be warned… they’ll make you want to charge into hordes of America’s enemies with nothing but a Ka-Bar:

1. “The first time you blow someone away is not an insignificant event. That said, there are some a-sholes in the world that just need to be shot.” (America and Iraq: Policy-making, Intervention and Regional Politics)

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: U.S. Marine Corps

2. “I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you f-ck with me, I’ll kill you all.” (Slate)

3. “I’m going to plead with you, do not cross us. Because if you do, the survivors will write about what we do here for 10,000 years.”

4. “Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit … Demonstrate to the world there is no better friend, no worse enemy than a U.S. Marine.” (Letter from Mattis to his troops just before the Iraq invasion)

5. “I don’t get intelligence off a satellite. Iraqis tell me who the enemy is.” (Press conference in Iraq via National Review)

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Department of Defense Erin A. Kirk)

6. “Find the enemy that wants to end this experiment (in American democracy) and kill every one of them until they’re so sick of the killing that they leave us and our freedoms intact.”

7. “Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

8. “Be the hunter, not the hunted: never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down.” (Letter from Mattis to his troops just before the Iraq invasion)

9. “The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears.”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Navy Chief Mass Communication Specialist Eric A. Clement)

10. “You are part of the world’s most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon.” (Letter from Mattis to his troops just before the Iraq invasion)

11. “There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, cunning, obedience and alertness, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim.” (Told to troops at Al Asad, Iraq)

12. “No war is over until the enemy says it’s over. We may think it over, we may declare it over, but in fact, the enemy gets a vote.”

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
(Photo: U.S. Navy Chief Mass Communications Specialist Shawn P. Eklund)

13. “There is nothing better than getting shot at and missed. It’s really great.”

14. “You cannot allow any of your people to avoid the brutal facts. If they start living in a dream world, it’s going to be bad.”

15. “You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually it’s quite fun to fight them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people. I’ll be right up there with you. I like brawling.” (Said during a panel discussion in San Diego, via CNN)

Articles

8 military terms civilians always get wrong

We know it’s hard to keep track of military lingo and technical terms, that’s why we’ve published so many guides (Air Force, Marine Corps, Army, Navy). But there are some terms that the media — especially Hollywood — just can’t stop getting wrong when referring to the military.


1. Bazooka

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Army Signal Corps

Bazooka refers specifically to a series of anti-tank rocket launchers used from World War II through the Vietnam War. American troops today do not fire bazookas. There are modern rocket launchers that do the job the bazooka was once used for, but they have their own names, like the “AT-4” and the “SMAW.”

2. Missile/Rocket/bomb

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Lisa Aman

Bombs are explosive devices that are not propelled. They can be placed somewhere, they can be launched, or they can be dropped, but they are not propelled along their route. They may be guided. Rockets are like bombs, except they are propelled along their route without any type of guidance. The fins don’t move and the projectile can’t turn. Missiles are like rockets except they can turn, either under the instructions of an operator or according to an automated targeting system. One of the most common errors is referring to the Hellfire Missile as a Hellfire Bomb.

3. Soldier

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley

Marines are not soldiers, though they have been referred to as “soldiers of the sea” in past recruiting posters. In the U.S., people not in the Army are not soldiers, especially so for Marines — who will strongly protest being painted with that brush. “Troops” or “service members” are the umbrella terms that refer to all the members of the military.

4. Humvee/Hummer

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Air Force Staff Sgt. Angela Stafford

The military doesn’t have Hummers. They have High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicles with the acronym HMMWV, commonly pronounced “Humvee.” Hummer is a civilian, luxury knockoff of the HMMWV. Anyone who has seen the inside of a HMMWV knows that it is not a “luxury vehicle.”

5. Commander

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Rosa Larson

Not everyone in charge of troops is a commander. For instance, the highest-ranking officer in each branch, the branch chief of staff, doesn’t actually command anything and is not a “commander.” Neither is their superior, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. The only people who are “commanders” have the word “command” in either their rank or job title.

6. UFO

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Bryan Niegel

It’s not strictly a military term, but much is made of Air Force reports of UFOs by conspiracy theorists and alien enthusiasts. Without getting into an argument about whether or not aliens are real, UFOs are just unidentified flying objects. The Air Force recording 12,618 of them from 1947 to 1969 does not mean that alien spacecraft have flown 12,618 or more sorties over American soil. It means that there have been 12,618 recorded sightings or sensor contacts of objects in the air. A balloon in an unexpected spot can be recorded as an unidentified flying object.

“UFO” and “alien spaceship” are not synonyms, even though they’re used that way.

7. Collateral Damage

Specifically, this is not shorthand for civilian deaths or a “euphemism.” It is an official term that refers to damage done to any unintended target in any way during an attack. When American bombs were dropped on German trains that were later found to be carrying American prisoners of war, that’s collateral damage to friendly elements. When missiles launched against a bomb maker’s home also damage a nearby mosque, that’s collateral damage.

Of course the most tragic instances of collateral damage are when people, including civilians, are accidentally killed. But those aren’t the only instances of collateral damage.

8. Gun

Here are the 9 scenarios from Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’
Photo: US Navy Photographer’s Mate 1st Class Robert R. McRill

Machine guns and sidearms are guns. Most soldiers and Marines are carrying rifles. While it would be nice if the news media would use the more exact term “rifle” when referring to rifles, they can get a pass because the civilian definition of gun does include rifles. Entertainment media needs to learn this lesson though, since troops in movies and T.V. would never call their “rifle” a “gun.” It’s drilled into service members with the same ferocity as the meaning of “attention” or the proper way to salute.

NOW: 15 common phrases civilians stole from the US military

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