If you know the language of the military, you know what we’re talking about. It’s basically a language all its own. Full of acronyms and nicknames that don’t make sense to the general public, there are entire strings of conversations that can go on including nothing but jargon. (And good luck to anyone not in the know.) That’s where funny memes come in.
From discussing ranks, daily situations, moves to everyday gear, jargon is a THING in the military. Take a look at these common memes discussing what it’s like to speak the language … and if you don’t.
When there’s just a bunch of letters
2. Sometimes you can’t shut it off … even when you want to
Stop, translate, re-state.
3. The point doesn’t always get across
But it’s a good time.
4. When you accidentally teach civilians
Make it stop.
5. Seriously though
Do you hear yourself?
6. When you first joined and had no idea what was happening.
The vocab keeps on coming.
7. Deciphering the code like…
8. Then when you are lost and just stay silent.
Eventually it’ll all make sense.
9. The people who shorten everything
You are so cool.
10. It never stops
Military jargon — in all branches — is a language all on its own, and once you learn it, it sticks with you for life. After all, it’s an earned right of passage. Take it with you and use it well!
It’s not that I have anything against the good-natured jokes of April Fool’s Day, it’s just that I don’t believe anything for an entire day. Sure, you have your ridiculous ads from companies, like the McPickle burger from McDonald’s, but then there’s the ones that sound plausible until you stop and think about it for more than a second.
Tom Brady saying he’s going to retire? The dude still has four more fingers to go. Lockheed Martin saying they now have the technology to smell Space? That’s not how Space works. The Army announces that it’ll take the well-being of the troops into consideration and allow them to wear protective masks, under AR 670-1, in areas of with hazardous air quality? Good one.
At least there was a solid selection of memes to choose from this week! Enjoy!
(In all seriousness, the protective mask one is real — and it’s about freakin’ time.)
(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)
(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)
(Meme via I Am An American Soldier)
(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)
(Meme via Valhalla Wear)
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)
It took me longer than I’m willing to admit to get that the left side was port and right was starboard.
And the only way I still remember it is because ‘left’ has four letters, and so does ‘port.’ Don’t judge me.
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
(Meme via 1st Civ Division)
(Meme via Private News Network)
(Screengrab via The Salty Soldier, Credit to Reddit user u/patientbearr)
Military working dogs and police canines are some of the most capable members of their respective forces. But they also have big pointy or floppy ears and wagging tails and cute little paws and sometimes we just can’t even help ourselves and we want videos of them being fur missiles or photos of them searching for stuff or any memes of them.
Coincidentally, that’s what we have here: 8 memes of awesome working dogs and police canines (except one is probably a military family’s pet but whatever):
“You’re hired. Please proceed to the kennels for unlimited petting.”
And yes, I know this is probably a pet German Shepherd, but there’s some officer in the photo so I’m letting it slide.
Just watch out for the luggage tags. They’ll snap on you if the restraints come off.
“It’s really just me signing my work, sergeant.”
Also, Ronin is a pretty sweet name for a police dog.
As long as you know, for sure, he’s the bad guy before you bite him, what’s the problem?
I mean, it’s free. What do you have to lose? Besides a bicep.
Gonna need to eat lots of bad guys for protein, as well. But first, come lick our faces.
Trying to plan anything in the military is like, well, trying to plan something in the military. It’s a constant game of “Will this actually happen?” “What will change?” And the inevitable, “Will everything adhere to the basic rules of common sense?” It’s a real gamble, and anyone who has planned a military event knows just what we’re talking about. It might even feel impossible to accomplish anything, and we feel this feedback deep into our souls.
Some comparable examples include: cleaning your house with wild toddlers running amuck, eating a browning while brushing your teeth, and literally treading on thin ice. Because, kind of like planning in the military, you never know when the bottom is going to fall out from under you.
But we digress. Without planning, nothing would get accomplished, and therefore, we’ve got to start somewhere! Take a look at these all-to-relatable memes that outline planning a military event.
Here’s a solid visual:
Please wash your hands.
2. Doing high-level math to mark your calendar:
Get the big calculator out.
3. This accurate representation of planning
They nailed it. Best of luck.
4. Meanwhile, getting the high-ups on board and ensuring you’re following the rules:
Hope someone is keeping track.
5. Or when you’re totally on it and suddenly get ghosted
6. Or when you got volentold and didn’t want to make the plans at all
Pshhhh if I have to.
7. Then when everyone cancels last minute
Oh come on, nerds.
8. When someone schedules a meeting to discuss the plans
Couldn’t this have been an email??
9. When the feedback comes in
Say what you mean and mean what you say, folks.
Planning an event in the military might be its own kind of crazy, but it’s the best way to get things done. What are your best and worst horror stories from trying to work something into your crazy schedule?
Blues, Pinks and Greens, NWUs, Cammies, ABUs, ODUs, ACUs — whatever you wear, or whatever you call it, it’s the standard in your branch. These are names of the most common daily wear (and dress uniforms) of military branches. Though the uniforms themselves vary among the ranks and jobs, the jokes usually do not. After all, there are ample rules and variations, and it’s tough to keep it all straight. Besides, what fun is it if you don’t poke fun at the next branch’s duds? Don’t worry though, it’s all in good fun.
Take a look at these military uniform inspired memes and the people who proudly represent them every day of the year.
With the first of the month comes a whole new promotions list across the board. To each and every one of you who made it, bravo zulu. You’re going to take the next step in your career. May your slight increase in pay help soothe over the mountain of sh*t that comes with the added responsibility.
And let’s be honest. When you’re the lowest guy on the totem pole, it seems like it sucks, but there’s nothing really demanded of you — outside of performing your assigned duties, cleaning the company area, and keeping out of trouble that is. No one is calling you into the MP station at 0300 on a Sunday night because someone you assumed was an adult did something you never thought to add to a safety brief. No one bothers seriously chewing your ass out for something someone else did.
So if you didn’t get promoted today, don’t sweat it. It could be worse. Regardless, one thing’s for sure: the memes have arrived.
Female sailors seem to be getting the hair regulations loosened to allow a more natural look. This (obviously) caused a gigantic backlash among male soldiers demanding the permitting of beards. Honestly, it doesn’t really make sense to disallow sailors to grow beards in the first place. After all, naval history tied to glorious beards, in both the U.S. Navy and around the world. As long as they keep their beards groomed, it’d be a boost to morale and it’d cut out the crappy rush to shave each morning.
But we’ll see. 7th Fleet will probably crash another ship into a civilian fishing vessel and blame it on sailors having beards instead of actually taking responsibility for it.
It was recently reported that, back in October, the 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit drank Reykjavík, the capital city of Iceland, dry when they pulled into port. That’s not an expression or an over exaggeration. They literally drank every last bit of alcohol in the city over the course of their liberty to the point where the town reportedly had troubles restocking for their own citizens.
The most astounding thing about this entire story is that only one young, dumb lance corporal got in trouble for disorderly conduct — and we can only assume they’ve since been Ninja Punched into oblivion. But seriously, I have strong reservations about there only being one drunken problem. You mean to tell me that we can’t throw a barracks party without the MPs getting involved and an entire MEU got sh*tfaced drunk and only a single idiot did anything wrong?
I’m not saying it’s completely impossible — maybe things happened and were simply kept in-house — but if it’s really true and everyone was that well-behaved… BZ. Color me impressed.
To all you troops out there that aren’t that one Marine in Reykjavík, you’ve earned yourselves some memes.
Family Readiness Groups are a mainstay in military communities. They keep the masses informed, throw awkward parties in which everyone can meet and they’re a great way to keep everyone in touch, including family members who are not on post.However, if you’ve never been to one of their events — sometimes where the fun is *forced*, you may be in for a surprise. Take a look at these memes that perfectly describe your first go-around with these right-of-passage events.
Whether you want to or not, you’ll be there
Welcome to the world of being voluntold.
2. When they say it’s not mandatory but it really is
We all know how to read between the lines.
3. When you show up wondering if it’s booze friendly or not
May the odds be ever in your favor.
4. Then you get there and there are no recognizable faces
But what’s your last name? I don’t know faces.
5. When they ask for more helpers
Who’s down to give some time?
6. You might be diving in deep
Welcome to the team.
7. When they get down to the informational portion
Be sure to take notes in pencil.
8. When the meeting is a pop-up and no one told you
The government shutdown has been going on for well over a month now and the Coast Guard is still going without pay. My heart honestly burns for each and everyone one of those affected by the shutdown, but there’s one group of Coasties feeling it the worst: the Coast Guard recruiters.
I mean, think about it. It sucks to show up and still have to guard the coasts. Yet, they can continue their mission with a sour look on their face and abundant worries about paying rent. The recruiters? Yeah. I’m damn sure no one made their quota this month. Good luck getting anyone into the door when you can’t even promise them a steady paycheck.
Anyways, just like the Coasties working Lyft after duty, the meme train keeps on rolling.
Since the dawn of time and inception of the Armed Forces, trash talking has been an accepted right of passage for military members. As sports entered the equation, naturally the trash talking intensified. As the internet gave birth to memes, this opened so many doors to hilarity. No matter who you are cheering for during the Army/Navy football game, we here at WATM hope you’ll embrace the epic nature of our top 20 trash talking memes.
Everyone knows the Marine Corps is the toughest, most badass branch – after all, there’s a reason they say, “Always a Marine”. Except on Army/Navy game day, then they are suddenly sailors.
Blending in with their surroundings is what the entire Army does best. Hoorah! Oh wait, that’s the Green Berets. Never mind.
3. & 4. Who scooted best?
That’s just how they roll.
5. Air Force
Although there may be seven (we see you Space Force) branches of service, only two are known for their epic rivalry. Three don’t have their own teams, one is the stepchild everyone forgets about and the other does the fun flyovers. It is what it is.
6. Navy Seals
The Navy has been winning on the field for the Army/Navy Game for years. Looks like they just won Halloween too.
7. Ocean Blues
When the Navy recruiter tells you it’s the perfect way to see the world, but all you see is the ocean or the deck you are constantly swabbing. #NavyLife
8. Let Freedom Ring
The Navy may have the Seals, but the Army has the Rangers and Green Berets. Their cool-guy factor is off the charts. Well, I guess the Navy has the badass Marine Corps too – until they drop them off to handle their end of the fight.
9. Spelling Bee-not
When you have the lowest ASVAB score requirement of all the branches of service, you might be a soldier.
10. & 11. Losing Streak
The Navy beat Army 14 years in a row, lost one game in 2016 and then just kept on winning. On the field, at life…. just, winning.
12. War Games
The truth hurts, but it’s gotta be said. Who grew up wanting to play Navy? It just didn’t happen! GI Joe’s never go out of style, sort of like an MRE – something that sailors never have to worry about eating.
13. Go Coast Guard
I mean, you don’t see this badass Navy Seal wearing an Army uniform when he’s in need, do you? #BeatArmy
14. And, ACTION!
When the Navy Seals come, they run.
15. The Uber Driver
When your branch sails the high seas to bring the Marine Corps to fight with the Army. Oooooh, burn. #BeatNavy
16. Holding the Fort
When you started the whole “Armed Forces” thing and support all of the other branches, you get some bragging rights. #GoArmy
17. & 18. Flower Power, Pew Pew
One branch is breaking down doors in the name of freedom. The other is protecting its citizens from the danger of allergies. #GoArmy
When you’ll wear anything before you’ll wear Army swag, like a pink bunny onesie from your grandma. #GoNavy
20. Playing Nice
Listen, we had to end it with this one. Trash-talking is all fun and games but every single man on the field would sacrifice it all for his country. No matter who you are rooting for, just remember that after the game – we’re all on the same team.
Oh snap! The first official recruiting ad for the Space Force has finally dropped! Don’t get me wrong. I’m just as hyped as everyone else who joked to their retention NCO that the only way they’d stay in was to reclass as a space shuttle door gunner.
But, like, why do they even need an advertisement at this point? Everyone knows who they are and are already planning on camping out at the recruitment offices when they open. It’s like seeing a commercial for a Ferrari. It’s just a waste of time and money when we’re already sold on the idea.
Whatever. They’re probably going to have a bigger budget than the Air Force – so spend it if you got it, right? Anyway, here are some memes.
1. I don’t care about any of your damn stories from Basic. But you can be damn sure that I’ll play along with whatever BS lie about how badass you are to tell civilians.
2. While we’re in, we all sh*ttalk chief for being OFP. But, he’s literally treating the military like it’s a 9-5 job at that point.
3. North Korean generals got nothing on some of the E-4’s I’ve seen these days…
4. Anyone know if the vehicles in the motorpool are still fine? No one’s been around to kick their tires in ages!
5. All else fails, pocket sand…
6. One makes things go boom. The other prevents things from going boom. See the problem?
7. Largest amphibious landing in military history and it wasn’t conducted by the branch of the military specifically designed for such a task…
(Yeah, I know. They were in the Pacific and Marine generals assisted in the planning. I thought Marines were at least supposed to understand jokes.)
8. “Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”
9. For the Space Force? In a heartbeat. Then again, I’ve been out for a few years, put on a few pounds, have literally no applicable skills needed in space… But I’d do it.
10. Well. Now I’m going to rewatch Band of Brothers this quarantine… for the 101st time…
11. As long as you don’t have flat feet. (Is flat feet still a thing?)
12. f it looks right, it is right.
13. If you didn’t jump up out of your bunk, but forgot that you’re on the lower one, so you smack your head so damn hard it echoes through the bay, did you even go to basic/boot camp?
President Trump has officially signed the order to begin the process of developing the Space Force. The logical side of all of our brains is telling us that it’s just going to be an upgraded version of what the Navy and Air Force’s respective Space Commands currently do… but deep down, we all want to sign up.
I mean, who wouldn’t immediately sign an indefinite contract to be a space shuttle door gunner? It represents that tiny glimmer of hope in all of us that says we, one day, can live out every epic space fantasy we’ve ever dreamed up.
The sad truth is that the first couple decades (if not centuries) of the Space Force will involve dealing with boring human problems, not fighting intergalactic aliens bent on destroying our solar system. Oh well.
Hey, while you wait for the army of Space Bugs to start invading, kill some time with these memes.