Our 10 favorite April Fools' memes - We Are The Mighty
Humor

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

It’s a holiday that dates back hundreds of years. As France switched to the modern Gregorian calendar in 1563, not everyone got the memo. Those who didn’t change systems in a timely manner celebrated the New Year, as they didn’t know it’d been changed to January 1. These people were called “April fools,” who were often marked with placing a paper fish on their back. This symbolized “an easily caught fish” and were also called “April fish.” The former stuck and turned into an entire day for pranks and jokes. 

At least, that’s how one set of historical records tell us about the holiday’s past. 

Love or hate this controversial holiday, it’s happening all-the-same. Be sure to put your thinking cap on before leaving the house this upcoming Wednesday and question all who cross your path. Or better yet, just work from home if at all possible. 

In the meantime, here are some of our favorite April Fools memes:  

  1. First off, get the date straight
Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Keep your game face on all day long. 

2. Or better yet, this face

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

We’ll call this “skeptical face.” 

3. And this line of thinking

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Even logical statements are not to be trusted.

4. Have pity for those whose jokes just don’t land

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Bless their hearts.

5. Mean jokes are the worst

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

But that won’t stop anyone from thinking they are funny.

6. And good luck to those joke haters out there

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Just smile and nod.

7. Remember it’s also a real day with real celebrations

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

HBD?

8. Don’t forget to laugh at yourself

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Hopefully others are laughing with you, not at you.

9. Don’t forget to take a chance

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

It’s an easy out.

10. Finally, when it’s over

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Good luck out there. 

Humor

8 reasons you want Commander Riker to be your CO

We all have that officer we served with (or under) that we absolutely adore. We would follow them to the gates of hell or go there ourselves if they so ordered us. But, look: No one gives orders like Commander William T. Riker.


Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Riker isn’t taking anyone’s sh*t. Least of all, yours.

This is why you should want Picard’s “number one” to be your number one.

8. He’s genuinely a nice dude.

He doesn’t bitch when his officers call him by his first name. He remembers all his crews’ names. He’s best friends with his ex-girlfriend. He goes to his friends’ poetry readings. He even plays the trombone for people.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

I mean, for a guy with so much to do as the first officer of a flagship, you wonder where he gets the energy.

7. He had a beard when it wasn’t even in regs.

How many beards do you see on Star Trek? Any show in the series. Go ahead and look – it’s not many. When you do see them, most of the time, they’re only for flag officers. Meanwhile, Riker grew his out almost immediately. He sure as hell wasn’t going to wait ’til he had a DD-214.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Operator AF.

6. Will Riker will not be tempted by a Fat Leonard.

All the officers who were seduced by the real Fat Leonard are getting off relatively light (especially considering how the enlisted people are getting the book thrown at them), and it’s the U.S. Navy who suffers. Commander William T. Riker has no use for hookers and champagne.

Related: 5 of the most ridiculous things naval officers did with ‘Fat Leonard’

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Damn right. He gets his own.

When the omnipotent alien called ‘Q’ tried to give Riker the powers of a god, Riker told him to f*ck off. Will Riker will make Captain on his own, dammit.

5. Everything bad happens to him and he’s somehow okay.

Riker had to kick his estranged father’s ass to be okay with his childhood. He was abducted by aliens who cut off his arm. Actually, he was abducted a few times. His first posting was a mutiny that resulted in the loss of the ship, he was in a transporter accident that basically duplicated him, he was infected with a parasite that turned him into a spy… The list goes on.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
That wasn’t even the worst injury he had that day.

But Will Riker always shows up for work the next day with a clean slate. And he owns it.

4. He’s just like any other sailor.

Make no bones about it, Riker likes to drink, dance, and get down (you know what I mean). He’s a man’s man — so much so that his only real relationship had to be with a female who could read his emotions because he’s not giving anything but a wink and a smile.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Fine by us.

He has 20 years in service and he still goes on shore leave to a place literally known as a “pleasure planet.”

3. Riker is 100 percent about equal opportunity.

He loves all beings, regardless of gender, race, and even androgyny. Even a robot or two.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Do it boldly.

I’m pretty sure he’s fine with women in combat and openly transgender Starfleet officers. He may have some trouble with the Military Equal Opportunity office, though.

2. His goddamned awesome command presence.

Nothing says, “I am confident in my ability to lead” like swinging your leg over the back of any given chair to sit down.

You know why it looks so f*cking awesome? Because he looks like a cowboy mounting up on a horse for some adventure.

1. He’s going to bring his sailors home.

There’s a reason this redshirt leads away missions and still lives. Over the seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, only 57 Enterprise crew members were killed and only 14 of those died on Riker-led away missions — and they usually got the bad guy in the end.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Light ’em up.

Humor

5 kid toys troops will reuse for tactical reasons

Children love playing with toys. So, it makes sense that immature adults love playing with toys, too. A benefit of being in the military is that we can pretend like there’s actually a legitimate reason for playing along.


Somewhere along the line, a high-ranking officer saw that same immature troop accomplish some good through playing with toys and gave the following the seal of approval.

1. Nerf guns

Never underestimate the abilities of a bored infantry platoon looking for a way to let off steam. Stacking and clearing “glass houses” (which are really just white tape on the ground) and using your gun-shaped fingers as mock-weaponry gets kinda dull after a while.

What’s actually fun is when the platoons of hardened warfighters practice their battle drills in the barracks by kicking in doors and tagging each other with Nerf darts while they’re on the toilet.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
You thought civilian office pranks were bad? Check out an infantry platoon on a regular Tuesday. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Bryan Peterson)

2. Paintball guns

The rules of engagement are taken very seriously by troops who are deployed. First, you must establish a show of force, letting a potential enemy know you’re armed. Then, you shout, usually through an interpreter or in broken Farsi, to let the enemy know they should back the f*ck up. If they still don’t back away, you can physically “shove” them in the direction they should be going in. Finally, use of force is authorized.

Some troops find it easier to just cover their feet with colored paint than to bust out the real weapons.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
The real ones don’t really shoot red paint. (Photo by Lance Cpl. Sean Dennison)

3. Little, green Army men

Sand tables are used by commanders to show a rough overview of the mission. Many different things can be designated as a unit. This broken stick? The objective. And this pebble will flank in through the south — like this.

Commanders can clear away a bunch of the confusion by ordering a $5 bucket of plastic Army guys. Add a little bit of paint and you’ve got some distinct markers.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
“Okay, first platoon. You’re going to wave your rifles in the air like an idiot. Second, you’re going to kneel with a radio.” (Photo by Sgt. Tracy McKithern)

4. Silly String

Trip wires are placed by the enemy on the paths through which troops will walk. When someone bumps into it, the attached explosives detonate. The solution? A cheap can of Silly String.

The string shoots out pretty far and is so soft and light that it won’t set off the wire. If troops spray it through a doorway, they’ll quickly discover a trap. Even if a wire is sensitive enough to be tripped by silly string, the surprisingly long range of the spray gives troops enough distance to mitigate some of the explosion.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

5. Walkie-talkies

The military has plans for everything, especially communication. Primarily, units depend on secured, frequency-hopping radios. Alternatively, troops can rely on a slightly less secure radio. In case of an absolute emergency, send a runner.

A cheap, effective, “ah-crap” plan is to use regular walkie-talkies instead of sending that runner to maintain unit integrity.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
At least opt for the non-kiddie version to save some dignity. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Timothy Koster)

Articles

7 struggles these veterans know all too well about humping gear

SAPI plates, hundreds of rounds of ammo, and as much water as you can haul is just a fraction of the gear our ground troops carry on their back as they move through their objectives every day.


Related: This is why grunt gear isn’t for the average man

Not too long ago, WATM ran a story featuring a TV show host who wanted to know what it felt like to carry the typical combat load a Vietnam War GI would haul. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, click here: This is why grunt gear isn’t for the average man

Many members of our loyal audience took the opportunity to chime in after reading the article and commented about what the heavy equipment they had to lug around during their time serving “in the suck” and here’s what they had to say.

1. The veteran grunt

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

2. The motivated Corpsman

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

3. The usual checklist of gear for this grunt was…

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

 

Related: 8 things Marines love to carry other than their weapon

4. The proud and seasoned machine gunner

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

5. Packing some major heat

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

6. He’s down to do it all over again

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

7. Ready for just about anything

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

 

What gear did you carry? Comment below.

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Jan. 27

Remember, troops. Don’t beat anything, don’t drink and drive, and don’t end up on first sergeant’s carpet without an awesome story.


Get ready for the weekend! Here are a few awesome military memes to get you through to the safety brief:

1. If they actually wore these uniforms, at least it would be easier to spot them (via The Salty Soldier).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Probably wouldn’t help their ego problem, though.

2. That’s a good excuse right up until DFAS stops paying (via Shit my LPO says).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

ALSO SEE: That time a Marine mechanic took a joyride in a stolen A4M Skyhawk

3. Don’t care who you voted for, getting Mattis as SecDef is like learning that Capt. America is your new commander (via Pop smoke).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

4. It’s like the world’s worst Easter egg hunt!

(via Air Force Nation)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
May want to tighten up the line for night time FOD walks.

5. Don’t wanna lose your sea legs (via Coast Guard Memes).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Still gotta figure out how to replicate the swaying of the boat, though.

6. Let’s get it started in here:

(via Military Memes)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
It’s about to go down.

7. Not everyone has what it takes to be a fireman (via Air Force Memes Humor).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Mostly, a love of fire.

8. The most important gear an airman will ever hold (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

9. Man, it would’ve sucked to have been drafted onto the DD-214 (via Sh-t my LPO says).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

10. That moment the grizzled veteran has to salute the fresh-out-of-OCS lieutenant, then try to teach them how to Army (via Pop smoke)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Good luck, Merlin. That job is never easy.

11. They have crayon chewers in every branch (via Coast Guard Memes).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Careful, Coastie. The Devil Dogs get fierce if you go after their chow.

12. It’s not like anyone in the squad is going to end up TOO strong (via Military Memes).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Just do your boat presses and remember to hate Pvt. Snuffy for doing this to you.

13. Forward was more fun (via Military Memes).

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Besides, the whole crew is getting an awesome profile pic out of this.

Humor

5 veteran comedians you should look out for

Service members have some of the best humor around; it comes with the job. Our comedy is pretty freakin’ dark when comparing it to the civilian sectors.


They say laughter is the best medicine. In that case, these hilarious veteran comedians should all be damn doctors by now.

Related: 5 military movies you should look out for in 2018

Check out these five military veteran comedians you should look out for in 2018.

5. Mitch Burrow

This Marine veteran served in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. Afterward, he started a career in manufacturing, but quickly realized that it sucked. He began his stand-up comedy career after driving down to the Comedy Store in La Jolla, drinking three shots of tequila and a couple of Budweisers, and getting on stage. Later, Mitch was told it went pretty well.

To follow Mitch or check out one of his shows visit his website: MitchBurrow.com.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Mitch Burrow sporting his serious face while doing his monthly workout. (Source: Mitch Burrow)

4. Thom Tran

After enlisting in the Army at 18, Thom spent most of his career as a Communications Sergeant and Civil Affairs Sergeant. Thom decided to become a comedian after sustaining an injury during combat operations.

In 2008, he moved to Los Angeles and soon created The GIs of Comedy tour — a show that travels the world performing for both military and civilian audiences.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
The always-hilarious Thom Tran (Source: Thom Tran / IMDB)

3. Isaura Ramirez

After serving 13 years in the Army, this former captain deployed to Iraq for 15 months. When she returned home, Isaura enrolled herself in a comedy class as a form of expression.

Now, this funny girl performs for various venues and has been featured on her very own TED Talk.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Former Army captain and funny girl, Isaura Ramirez.

2. Rocco Stowe

This Philadelphia native joined the Marine Corps at 18, serving as an infantry rifleman (0311) with 3rd Battalion 6th Marines. After leaving the Corps in the mid-90s, Rocco moved to Los Angeles where he’s had luck landing gigs, including headlining his act at several comedy stores throughout the U.S.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
This comedian and Marine veteran also serves the community as a knowledgeable yoga instructor

Also Read: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

1. James P. Connolly

Before James was cracking up audiences with his flawless stand-up routine, he was giving orders while stationed at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton. This former captain served in both Operation Desert Shield and Storm before exiting from the Corps.

Now, he performs wherever he can find work, but you follow him on his website JamesPConnolly.com.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
The evolution of James P. Connolly, from boy to man. (Banner art by Michelle Connolly Photography)

They will be here all week and don’t forget to tip your waiter.

Got any vets you think will make us laugh? Leave a comment.

Articles

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

Air Force Capt. Mark Harper was probably worried about the lack of network connections and other technology in 2007 when he was sent to Djibouti, Africa, to take over a staff section there. Unfortunately, his colonel hadn’t gotten the message about Djibouti’s limited network access and ordered Harper and his crew to start making weather podcasts for Djibouti.


A podcast. In 2007. For a group of people with limited internet access. The “Good Idea Fairy” had struck again.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Air Force Capt. Mark Harper and his crew record their weather podcast for the people of Djibouti. (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was screenshot)

Shocker, it had a limited listenership and the crew wasn’t happy while making it. But since the order came from a colonel, they would need at least a general to shoot it down.

Unfortunately for them, their attempts to sabotage the program in front of a visiting two-star didn’t exactly go according to plan. Check out the whole story, complete with a colonel falling asleep on a grateful captain, in the video embedded above.

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

That time Linda Hamilton asked a Marine to the ball

This is a perfect example of how ridiculous boot camp is

Humor

7 tattoos that boots get on their first free weekend

Nothing says a young troop is ready to become a hardened badass like a new tattoo. For the connoisseur, tattoo artists spend hours meticulously crafting a beautiful piece of art filled with sentiment. Others, however, will just pick something from catalogs of pre-drawn designs stuck to the wall. Nothing says “deep, personal, and original meaning” like pointing to something you see on Instagram.


While tattoo artists laugh at people who ask for cliché images, boots aren’t any better. It always seems to be the same things that get inked.

Here are the seven tattoos you’re most likely to see after boots enjoy their first free weekend.

1. Any tattoo related to their MOS

You just graduated U.S. Army Infantry School and want to show off to the world. How will anyone believe you if you don’t have a blue cord or crossed rifles tattooed on your shoulder? It’s the same for every MOS.

Bonus points if you spot a badge or symbol for a military school tattooed on someone who hasn’t even yet looked at the paperwork required to get in.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
And it’s not just combat arms, even though grunt tattoos are cooler… (Image via Reddit)

 

2. The Eagle, Globe, and Anchor

This one is Marine specific, obviously. The Eagle, Globe, and Anchor looks great as it is, but every now and then someone decides to spice things up by changing the design. Granted, it’s usually still an eagle, a globe, and an anchor, but it’s not the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
If you’re going to get the same exact tattoo as everyone else in the Corps, at least spend the money to get the best-looking one. (Image via Pinterest)

 

3. Eagles and American flags- patriotic tattoos are a thing

But what if they’re not a Marine and want to prove how American they are? It can’t just be an eagle, no. Plenty of countries around the world have eagles as their national symbol, so it has to also somehow incorporate the American flag into the design. Either it’s in front of the flag, holding it, or the eagle has red, white, and blue feathers. Perfect.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Or they make a star-spangled eagle firework. Which was awesome the first three times I saw it… (Image via Reddit)

4. Skulls

Troops are warriors, which is why they need the internationally recognized symbol for death tattooed on them. In all likelihood, the skull is wearing the headgear the tattooed troop would wear or has been made into a modern recreation of Calico Jack’s iconic pirate flag.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Or they’re huge Punisher fans… Which most Marines are… (Image via Pinterest)

 

5. Shredded skin tattoo

Want to show the world what you’re really like on the inside? Make it seem like you were cut open by a bear and show them that you don’t have muscles, veins, or bone underneath, but something like a flag, knight armor, or a uniform pattern.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Or you know, mix in a bit of everything else on this list. (Image via Pinterest)

 

6. ‘Infidel,’ written in both Arabic and English

There’s a bit of a lost-in-translation issue with this one. If you feel the need to get the word “infidel” and its translation, “kafir,” written in Arabic script, you do you. However, it’s not what many people think. “Infidel” literally means “atheist, pagan, or anyone unfaithful to their own religion.” If that still describes you, knock yourself out.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
But when it’s right next to a cross…you can see the irony, right? (Image via Reddit)

 

7. Letters saying, basically, “something, something, freedom!”

If you want the world to know that “freedom isn’t free, you paid for it” or that “on the 8th day, God created the (whatever MOS you are),” but you’re not in your truck, so your bumper stickers can’t do the talking for you, this is for you! Doesn’t matter if you’ve only been in the military for a whole ten minutes — show everyone the phrase that you totally came up with and didn’t just grab off the back of your Basic Training T-shirt.

 

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
If you make it longer than one sentence, people will stare at your back every time you go to the beach. (Image via Reddit)

popular

This is how two Air Force Bases ended up in a Twitter feud

What do Whiteman Air Force Base and Minot Air Force Base have in common? Bombers! But on Oct. 23, 2017 the bomber families began butting heads on Twitter over whose airframe is the superior one.


Team Minot has since seemed to delete the tweets that sparked the exchange, but judging from Whiteman’s responses, the shots fired must have been pretty good.

Finally, the official Air Force account stepped in.

Which would have been fine except they told the world that Santa isn’t real.

Which got everyone’s attention.

Including the national media. One of the more recent holiday traditions in the United States is NORAD’s Santa Tracker, which the Air Force helps run every year. The Air Force backtracked quickly.

But I think we’re going to give this one to Whiteman Air Force Base until Minot releases its Twitter history. The USAF Twitter Champion lives in Missouri.

Humor

33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

For the first few months of military service, we go through some pretty intense training during the week, and maybe we have to pull duty on a weekend.


So, when a holiday approaches and the commanding officer awards your unit a 96-hour liberty, you’d better take advantage.

Related: 22 things every boot has done but will never, ever admit

Check out what many young troops do on their first 96-hour liberty away from the base.

1. When everyone is told, their 96-hour liberty has been approved at the same time.

Best news ever! (Images via Giphy)

2. How you caught a ride to leave the base.

Stuntin’ 101. (Images via Giphy)

3. What it feels like walking into your hotel room

All mine. (Images via Giphy)

4. What you look like drinking your first beer in months and can finally take a shower by yourself.

It tastes so good. (Images via Giphy)

5. How you looked properly preparing yourself for an evening out with the boys

Need to buff those floors. (Images via Giphy)

6. How awesome you felt drinking with your new military friends

I feel so cool doing a fourth wall break. (Images via Giphy)

7. That moment when you notice a female troop for the first time out of uniform, and she’s hot

Holy sh*t! (Images via Giphy)

8. After a few hours of partying, you start showing off your boot camp muscle gains

“I have the power.” (Images via Giphy)

9. Eating that first real hamburger after getting the beer munchies

So good. (Images via Giphy)

10. Trying to sleep after drinking way too much the first night

“I thought I was supposed to pass right out.” (Images via Giphy)

11. Waking up with a hangover and you need a quick pick-me-up to start the day

Coffee was meant to be ingested, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

12. Thinking for something fun to do after you recovered from your hangover

I’m so bored. (Images via Giphy)

13. When you’re replying to all those Facebook messages for the first time in months

So many messages. (Images via Giphy)

14. When your boys invite you to come to the local dance club

Gotta practice. (Images via Giphy)

15. How you think you’re dancing at the club after a few drinks

Just like back at home. (Images via Giphy)

16. How you’re really dancing at the club after those drinks

How do I look? (Images via Giphy)

17. When you find some girl who actually said “sure”

It’s a new world record. (Images via Giphy)

18. What your conscience is trying to tell you before it’s too late

“Shut up brain.” (Images via Giphy)

19. Waking up next to that girl who said “sure” and she’s not what you remembered

Beer goggles are real. (Images via Giphy)

20.  Making your escape

Shh! (Images via Giphy)

21. Getting made fun of by your boys for hooking up with her the next morning

You had it coming. (Images via Giphy)

22. Your reaction

Damn. (Images via Giphy)

23. When the group plans an evening at the strip club after dinner

Cheers. (Images via Giphy)

24. But you really want to go now

Run! (Images via Giphy)

25. Then you get hammered at the strip club

Not that hammer, but whatever. (Images via Giphy)

26. When your guys find the first stripper who appears interested

“We so had her!” (Images via Giphy)

27. Then the gents get kicked out of the strip club

I guess we weren’t allowed to touch? (Images via Giphy)

28. Then someone drunkenly jokes saying “you’re not tough enough to get a tattoo”

That’s a good one bro. (Images via Giphy)

29. Then follows it up by saying “no balls”

Wait. What? (Images via Giphy)

30. Waking up the next morning with an unwanted tattoo

Sh*ttiest tattoo ever. (Images via Giphy)

31. Stay in the hotel room for the whole day and think about all the money you wasted

What was I thinking? (Images via Giphy)

32. Heading back to base after your 96 is up.

I don’t think I can make it. (Images via Giphy)

33. Look at all the photos you took the next day at work — that 96 was so much freakin’ fun

That was the best weekend ever! (Images via Giphy)What did you do on your first 96-hour liberty? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Dec. 15

It’s been only seven days since our last meme call, and…where do we even begin?


Army beats Navy. Trans troops get the green light. We have a new NDAA for 2018 — no one cares about any of that. The real Star Wars Day is today.

Celebrate with memes. These memes.

1. He can’t name drop PJs and JTACs like the rest of the Air Force does when Marines make fun.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Let’s be honest, he looks Air Force.

2. But suffering leads to a lobbying job. (via Coast Guard Memes)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
This is how icebreakers get made.

3. “Look at how shiny those floors are.”

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Also, how do you pee in that armor?

4. I didn’t know Meth came from fabric softener.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Ewoks should use Snuggle on their fur instead of drinking it.

5. New Yorkers aren’t like the rest of us.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Terrorism fail.

6. Basic training is the hydroelectric dam.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Who needs fusion when you have every day life?

7. “Things you’ll never actually say to an E-7” for $100.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
There’s a reason dude got choked out.

8. It’s not the worst grouping. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
But you’d still be dead. Or unqualified.

9. No passes in the Army-Navy Game, just like in real life. (via Decelerate Your Life)

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
To be fair it’s usually the Coast Guard chasing little white lines.

10. I was more of a Han Solo fan until this.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Majestic reveal.

11. Your girl knows.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
You know he has one.

12. It doesn’t show the NCO school on Dagobah.

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Life is pain.

13. Who’s in the Christmas spirit?

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

Articles

3 reasons why Airwolf is more badass than the F-35

Okay, you’ve heard all the complaints about the F-35. It’s super-expensive. It’s got problems getting ready for combat. But in the real world, there’s no other option. And as WATM has already explained, the Marine Corps desperately needs to replace its F/A-18 Hornets.


Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes
Airwolf about to blow through two bandits. (Youtube Screenshot)

But suppose, instead of blowing their RD money on the F-35, the Air Force, Navy, and Marines had decided to pull out File A56-7W and instead replicate Airwolf? They’d have gotten a much better deal – and it might even have helped the Army, too.

Airwolf’s specs (click here for another source) reveal this helicopter already took advantage of some stealth technology, had modern ECM systems and sensors, and very heavy armament (four 30mm cannon, two 40mm cannon, and various air-to-air and air-to-ground missiles). All in all, it’s very powerful, even if it was the brainchild of one of the big TV showrunners of the 1980s and 1990s.

So, why does it beat the F-35? Here are some of the reasons.

1. It can operate off any ship

With a top speed of over Mach 2, Airwolf may have the performance of a fighter jet, but it takes off and lands like a helicopter – without the need for the complex mechanisms used on the V-22 Osprey.

Think of it this way; with Airwolf in its hanger deck every surface combatant and amphibious ship could carry what amounts to a Generation 4.5 fighter. Even the Littoral Combat Ships could handle Airwolf, giving them a lot more punch in a fight than they currently have.

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Airwolf can land anywhere this MH-60R can land. (U.S. Navy Photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Sean M. Castellano)

2. It would replace more airframes than the F-35 would

The F-35 is replacing the AV-8B Harrier, F/A-18 Hornet, F-16 Fighting Falcon, and A-10 Thunderbolt II in U.S. service. Airwolf not only would replace all four of those airframes, but it would also replace all of the AH-1 and AH-64 helicopters in Marine Corps and Army service. The promise of the TFX program as originally envisioned in the 1960s could be fulfilled at last!

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A look at Airwolf’s ADF pod and chain guns. (Youtube Screenshot)

3. Better performance

According to an Air Force fact sheet, the F-35 has a top speed of Mach 1.6, a ceiling of 50,000 feet, and a range of 1,350 miles without refueling. Airwolf hits a top speed of Mach 2, a ceiling of 100,000 feet, and a range of 1,450 miles.

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Full-size replica of the Airwolf at the Tennessee Museum of Aviation, Sevierville, Tennessee. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

In other words, Airwolf would have the F-35 beat in some crucial areas. Now, the F-35 might have an advantage in terms of payload (fixed-wing planes usually have that edge), but the fact remains, Airwolf would have been a very viable candidate for that competition – and might have had the edge, given that the Army would have bought airframes to replace the Apache.

Oh, and here’s the Season 1 opener, just for kicks:

Articles

Why a woman was convicted under a witchcraft law during World War II

Long before the United States was an independent nation, the people of the British Empire were constantly on guard for anything that might disrupt their way of life. This, in part, meant witches, and lots of them. Literally thousands of alleged witches were hunted down and executed under a series of witchcraft laws that made it nice and legal. 

Eventually, Parliament had to step in and say enough was enough. In 1735, it passed the Witchcraft Act that made it a crime for a person to claim that any human being had magical powers or was guilty of practicing witchcraft. Surprisingly, it worked in Britain and eventually people stopped invoking the law.

That doesn’t mean the law was no longer on the books. Almost 200 years later, a self-professed medium named Helen Duncan was convicted under the Witchcraft Act of 1735, amid fears that she might actually be able to divulge intelligence about upcoming operations of World War II. 

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If you weren’t expecting a “Monty Python” GIF, shame on you.

In November of 1941, Duncan held a seance in England where she claimed the ghost of a sailor aboard the HMS Barham visited her. The Barham was in the Mediterranean in 1941, fighting Axis ships attempting to cut off the resupply of the island of Malta. She was actually sunk off the coast of Egypt earlier that year. A German U-boat torpedoed the battleship, taking most of the crew down with it.

The problem was Helen Duncan wasn’t supposed to know that. The Royal Navy wouldn’t announce the sinking until 1942. The only people who were told were naval personnel and the families of those killed aboard the Barham. It caught the ears of naval intelligence, who decided to keep a close watch on Duncan the medium. 

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Behold! The face of unspeakable evil! Or… maybe just fraud and opsec violations (Wikimedia Commons)

She was later arrested in January 1944 under the Witchcraft Act, an act that many believe happened because military leaders were concerned she might actually be able to talk to spirits. Some of her followers contended that superstitious military officers were afraid that, through her ghosts, she might be able to reveal the secret plans for Operation Overlord, the D-Day invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe.

That might have been the case, but the nail in the coffin for Helen Duncan did come in 1944. In January of that year, two Royal Navy officers attended one of Duncan’s seances. Duncan attempted to spook one of the men by “manifesting” first his deceased aunt, and then his deceased sister. The officer’s aunts and sisters were all still very much alive. 

He reported Duncan to the police, who raided one of Duncan’s later seances. They found a hat band from a sailor’s uniform supposedly manifested from the HMS Barham. But the medium’s lack of uniform regulations did her in. The hat bands of British sailors at the time only read “HMS” and not the name of the vessel on which they served. 

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Apparently, people were actually buying this… (Harry Price/ “Leaves from a Psychist’s Case-Book” (Victor Gollancz Ltd, 1933)

Duncan was tried and convicted of claiming to perform fraudulent spiritual activity, defrauding people of their money and generally being a public nuisance. 

The real reason for Duncan’s arrest was likely the revelation of the sinking of the HMS Barham and her sources of information. Intelligence authorities weren’t worried about her getting information from ghosts, they were worried about the very real person from which she gained classified information. Most importantly, they were concerned about how she was spreading that information. 

Duncan was sentenced to nine months in jail. 

Feature image by Rafael Zajczewski from Pixabay

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