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6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

Founded in 1947 by U.S. Marine Corps Reservist Maj. Bill Hendricks, the charitable legacy of Toys for Tots has endured throughout the decades. The gift-giving program was such as huge success initially that the Corps adopted the practice and has spread the program nationwide.


The program was so well-liked that famous animator Walt Disney got involved, personally inking the Toys for Tots logo we all know today.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
(Image from Toys for Tots)

For the past several years, the foundation has produced many emotionally driven ads, run during the holidays to help spread awareness for kids in need.

Some of the Toys for Tots commercials are real tear-jerkers. Good luck getting through all these with a dry eye.

Related: 5 awesome ways the military collects toys for kids

6. Every year, a Marine will stand and collect for our nation’s children-in-need.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

5. An early morning Christmas surprise.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

4. “Are you Santa Claus? He is Santa Claus!”

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

3. A child’s Christmas wish.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

2. The Marines have always been known for saving the day. Now, they’re spreading Christmas cheer — one gift at a time.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

Also Read: This is how POWs got playing cards with secret escape maps for Christmas

1. The many faces that the Marine Corps Reserves’ Toys for Tots has helped.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)To request toys or donate to Toys for Tots, visit their website.

Bonus: Remember when Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano played a Marine DI for Toys for Tots?

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)
Articles

The 5 weirdest examples of military-inspired fashion

There’s no need to leave your love of military fashion at the parade grounds when you get off duty. Here are five great designs that’ll let you show your colors while turning heads. Or just make you look really weird. Either way will work.


1. RAF high heels

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Amy Hart/Pinterest

For the fashion-forward ace fighter pilot in your life, complete with five rivets annotating the number of kills the wearer has.

2. Digital camo crop top

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Vitaly V. Kuzmin

Perfect for hiding out in the woods or standing out in a crowd.

3. Who wore it better?

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photos: Wikimedia Commons

It takes a lot of personality to pull off this look, but the King of Pop rocked a sequined military jacket while receiving an award from President Ronald Reagan. Jimi Hendrix, a former member of the Army, rocked a more subdued version of the military dress jacket.

4. Dueling medals

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Ida Leo/Pinterest

Today’s fashionistas shouldn’t fear showing allegiance to multiple regimes. Here, a woman displays her love for the U.S. military, the bail enforcers, and communism, all displayed on a military style coat. The pistol belt allows wearers to quickly dispatch enemies of the state, subdue bail jumpers, or protect the freedoms of civilians, depending on which medal is given precedence that day.

5. Classic spats for modern women

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Ida Leo/Pinterest

This great design takes the gaiters, formerly relegated to protecting boots during marches in the backcountry, to the catwalk. Pair it with high heels and a matching purse.

NOW: 9 military uniform items that Jennifer Aniston made into fashion staples

OR: ‘You’re really pretty for being in the Army’

Articles

The 9 most devastating nuclear weapons in the world

Nuclear bombs are the most powerful weapons ever devised. Here are 9 of the most destructive in history.


1. Tsar Bomba (50-100 Megatons)

“Big Ivan,” or the “Tsar Bomba,” created the largest explosion ever made by man, and it was tampered to only half of its full strength. Secretary Nikita Khrushchev demanded a record-setting bomb to prove the Soviet Union’s might ahead of an important meeting of the Communist party. To fulfill his wishes, scientists designed and created the bomb in only 15 weeks. Originally designed for a 100-megaton blast, the bomb was tampered down to only 50 megatons to prevent damage to Soviet cities in the original fallout radius. Only one was ever created.

2. B-41 nuclear bomb (10-25 MT)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
A B-41 prototype is detonated July 12, 1958 at the Bikini Atoll range. Photo: Wikipedia

Capable of a 25-MT blast, the B41 was the most powerful nuclear bomb ever developed by the U.S. Like the Tsar Bomba, it was a three-stage device. About 500 were created. Due to their weight, they could not ride on missiles and bombers could only carry one device at a time.

3. TX-21 “Shrimp” (15 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikipedia

The TX-21 was an experimental weapon that was supposed to create a 5-MT blast. An experimental fusion fuel caused the blast to increase to 15 megatons. While the U.S. ended up with a much stronger weapon than it expected, the experiment resulted in multiple deaths, untold numbers of birth defects, and the accidental contamination of 7,000 square miles of Pacific islands and ocean.

4. B-17 (10-15 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photos: Wikipedia and US Department of Energy

The B-17 was America’s first thermonuclear bomb to be deployed. In a way, it was a tuned-down version of the TX-21. The TX-17 prototype created a 11-MT blast much larger than the expected 4-MT explosion because of an unexpected reaction in the fusion fuel.

5. B-24 (10-15 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikipedia

The B-24 was very similar to the B-17 but it used an enriched lithium fusion fuel instead of the natural lithium of the B-17. The experimental TX-24 produced a slightly larger explosion in testing than the B-17 (13.5 MT vs 11 MT), but the estimated yields in their weaponized forms were roughly the same.

6. B-36 (10 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikipedia

After the TX-21 “Shrimp” test, America fielded the B-21 with a yield of 4 MT. The military decided to convert the B-21 to B-36s, making each bomb about 2.5 times as strong.

7. B53 (9 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikipedia/byteboy

The B-53 contained 300 pounds of high-explosive material that triggered a uranium pit. The pit would then create a nine-megaton explosion.

8. EC-16 (6-8 Megatons)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

The EC-16 was an “emergency capability” nuclear device and the only thermonuclear device deployed that required a cooling system. Five devices were delivered to the U.S. arsenal in Jan. 1954, but they were quickly replaced when the more stable and easier to deploy B-14s and B-17s became operational later that year.

9. EC-14 (7 Megatons)

The EC-14 was the first solid-fuel thermonuclear weapon deployed by the U.S. It was only deployed as an emergency capability in Feb. 1954. The EC-14 was retired in Oct. 1954 and many of them were converted to B-17s.

NOW: The 7 weirdest nuclear weapons ever developed

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8 US Navy sailors who received the Medal of Honor

Sailors have been serving the U.S. bravely since the Navy was formed on Oct. 13, 1775. Some have gone above and beyond the call of duty and with through their incredible heroism, received the Medal of Honor.


While this list contains eight of the sailors who have received the award since Vietnam, another 738 sailors have received the medal. To find more recipients, see the Congressional Medal of Honor Society’s searchable database of everyone who has received the Medal of Honor.

1. Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: US Navy

While operating as part of a Navy SEAL sniper team in Iraq on Sep. 29, 2006, Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor and his fellow SEALs knew an enemy attack was likely after they engaged multiple insurgents in the area. When a grenade was thrown near the team, Monsoor was in the best position to escape. Instead, he yelled, “Grenade!” and jumped onto the explosive. He was mortally wounded but saved two other SEALs. Read more here.

2. Lt. Michael P. Murphy

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: US Navy

In Operation Red Wings, Lt. Michael P. Murphy was part of a four-man SEAL team scouting for a terrorist leader Jun. 28, 2005. The men were spotted by locals and a two-hour gunfight ensued where the SEALs faced more than 50 enemy fighters. Murphy exposed himself to heavy enemy fire to get clear communications to request assistance and was shot multiple times.

Murphy was successful, but the rescue team was shot down by an enemy RPG. Murphy, 10 other SEALs, and eight Army Nightstalkers were killed during the mission. Read more here.

3. Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Wayne M. Caron

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: US Navy

Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Wayne M. Caron was rendering aid to Marines under fire on July 28, 1968 when he was shot in the arm but continued his mission. He was injured three times by small arms fire and continued to aid Marines before being killed by an RPG. Read more here.

4. Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Donald E. Ballard

Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Donald E. Ballard was serving with the 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines, 3rd Marine Regiment in Vietnam on May 16, 1968 when a grenade landed near an injured Marine under his care. Ballard jumped on the grenade, protecting both the injured Marine and the Marines on the litter team. When the grenade failed to detonate, Ballard calmly returned to aiding the wounded. Read more here.

5. Lt. Vincent R. Capodanno

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: US Navy Photographer’s Mate Kyle McCloud

Lt. Vincent R. Capodanno was a chaplain assigned to a battalion of Marines on Sep. 4, 1967 when a platoon found itself nearly overrun. Capodanno rushed forward and began administering last rites and medical aid. After being severely wounded by an enemy mortar round, Capodanno continued his mission but was killed by an enemy machine gun burst while attempting to save a wounded corpsman. Read more here.

6. Capt. Michael J. Estocin

Capt. Michael J. Estocin was a pilot in Attack Squadron 192 on the USS Ticonderoga. First on April 20, 1967 and again on April 26, Estocin spotted and engaged enemy surface-to-air missile sites with Shrike missiles. In both missions, Estocin’s aircraft was struck by enemy SAMs and set aflame. Both times, he regained control of his aircraft and re-engaged the sites before departing the target area. Read more here.

7. Hospital Corpsman Third Class Robert R. Ingram

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikipedia

Hospital Corpsman Third Class Robert R. Ingram was wounded four times on Mar. 28, 1966 while aiding Marines under heavy attack from 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. From mid-afternoon until sunset, Ingram continued to aid the Marines despite his serious wounds, including one that was life-threatening. Read more here.

8. Construction Mechanic Third Class Marvin G. Shields

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: US Navy

Construction Mechanic Third Class Marvin G. Shields was serving with Navy Seabee Team 1104 in Vietnam June 10, 1965 when the Special Forces compound he was on came under fierce Viet Cong attack. After seven hours of fighting and being wounded multiple times, Shields assisted the local commander in knocking out an enemy machine gun nest that threatened the Americans. He was killed while returning to his defensive position. Read more here.

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7 signs humans will lose the robot wars

While DARPA and other research institutions declare a robotic revolution, the real geniuses like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates are letting us know the robotic revolution is really going to be a robot war. While watching videos of robot fails may make humans feel safe, we shouldn’t. The robots are coming and the robots will win.


How? Here are 7 ways robots are preparing for war:

1. They’re reproducing.

Björk_AIFOL_MoMA-robots-reproduce Photo: Wikipedia/sashimomura

The video above is from the University of Cambridge where a robotic “mother” is creating “children.” The robotic arm was given the task of constructing robots from building blocks with motors and glue, designing her own children to move as far across the table as possible. With such simple tools, her children are still relatively harmless. But once she gets chainsaws and gatling guns to attach to them, we’re all in trouble.

2. They’re evolving.

The worst part of the University of Cambridge study isn’t even that researchers are letting robots create robots, it’s that they’re trying to make them evolve. The mother is supposed to keep track of which of her children was most successful and then create the next generation with the best traits of the last. So, even if we beat the robots back in the first few battles, we’ll be facing more effective robots in each skirmish.

3. They can mimic humans.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Steve Jurvetson

DARPA has created a robot that can learn human tasks, especially cooking, from watching Youtube. If this programming is put into those creepy robots with the human skin, we’ll never know if a chef is a human making dinner for humans or a robot making humans for dinner.

4. They’re working in teams.

While the internet naively believes the Robo World cup is adorable, they couldn’t be more wrong. This “World Cup” is actually a training regimen where the robots are learning teamwork and “multi-agent collaboration.” This is according to the reports of the human collaborators own reports.

5. They’re learning.

Not only do the robots work in teams in the world cup, they also learn how to move their own bodies and better navigate through space. Even worse, the crackpots at DARPA are encouraging people teach robots how to navigate disaster areas. This would allow robots to navigate the ruins of the cities they destroy. Above, a robot has learned to do laundry without any direct human controls.

6. They’re becoming more mobile.

We always thought the robot wars would take place in the urban jungle, but the robots are preparing for a war in the actual jungle by practicing running through the woods. AlphaDog, the Marines Legged Squad Support System, pioneered the way for robots to run through the woods but even bipedal robots like the Atlas have found their way into the forest. At least we can still hide behind our city walls.

7. They can now open doors.

Except no, we can’t. Robots have learned to open doors. No word on when they’ll learn to kick them in while screaming, “Your democracy is here!” Luckily, this is still limited to certain robot types.

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9 Awesome war novels everyone should read

Every military professional has his or her favorite war novel and picking the “greatest” is a tall order. But that’s what we do here at WATM. These are our picks for the greatest war novels ever written:


6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
1. Catch 22

Written from several third person points of view with a circular dynamic centered around the paradox that is Catch-22, this Joseph Heller classic was in many ways years ahead of its time in that the wider audience didn’t relate to his reading of the military until well into the Vietnam War years. Beyond the biting satire and staccato pacing Catch-22 captures the personalities that populate the military to this day: inept commanders, opportunistic junior officers, and enlisted men staying sane by not taking anything around them too seriously. This is a must-read before every major deployment.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
2. The Things They Carried

Tim O’ Brien’s Vietnam-era literary masterpiece is brimming with pathos. The novel’s strength isn’t necessarily in how it deals with war straight-on, but it lies in O’Brien’s atmospherics and states of mind and the resultant permanent scars of an ill-defined conflict carried out by a nation riven by it.

 

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
3. Mr. Midshipmen Hornblower

Most people think of Patrick ‘O Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin series as the definitive historical fiction works around the heyday of warfighting sailing ships, but Mr. Midshipman Hornblower, the first book in C. S. Forester’s Horatio Hornblower series, skips getting bogged down in technical detail and instead offers timeless lessons in military leadership at sea and amazing perspective around what 17-year olds had to tackle responsibility-wise in the fledgling American Navy.

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
4. The Hunters

James Salter’s poetic prose elevates this Korean War-era story about Air Force pilots to timeless art as well as a definitive reading of those drawn to that particular warfare specialty.  The Hunters has it all: a burned out CO, a confused chain of command, cocky junior officers, and significant others complaining about being ignored for the glory of air combat.

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
5. The Hunt for Red October

Tom Clancy was an insurance salesman who couldn’t interest anyone in his manuscript until the Naval Institute Press – a publisher that had never done fiction – decided to take a chance based on the story’s level of technical detail that bordered on classified. The book’s sales were relatively flat until President Ronald Reagan was seen carrying a copy, and from that point The Hunt for Red October became the title that launched a thousand technothrillers as well as Clancy’s prolific and lucrative career.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
6. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk

Author Ben Fountain paints an all-too-accurate portrait of what “support the troops” has come to mean a decade and a half after 9-11. “Halftime Walk” is set at the Dallas Cowboys stadium where an Army unit is feted by the team’s owner and his circle of Texas fat cats who demonstrate the distance between the American population and those sent to do their fighting.  More than a novel about war, Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk is a national indictment.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
7. All Quiet on the Western Front

Remarque’s groundbreaking World War I novel was among the first to dispel any laudable mystique surrounding war through its detail about trench warfare and mustard gas attacks and the portrayal of the protagonist’s decent from idealistic recruit to member of a generation forever scarred by “The Long War.” Paul Baumer’s heartbreak is that of the hundreds of thousands of service members who followed him into battle in the decades after his war ended, many of whom certainly read the book but went anyway.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
8. Redeployment

An instant classic. Phil Klay’s much heralded debut novel about the Iraq War is worthy of the praise heaped upon it. Redeployment is at once timely and timeless in capturing the nuance of the emotions and states of mind of Marines at war and back home between tours. To get to what’s honorable about service you have to face the realities of an unclear mission without end and what accepting them does to those involved. In this effort Klay emerges as the de facto spokesman for the post-9/11 cohort of warfighters.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
9. Slaughterhouse Five

Kurt Vonnegut’s best-known novel if not his masterwork, Slaughterhouse Five builds off of the author’s real-life experiences as an eyewitness to the aftermath of the Dresden firebombing during World War II and adds a time-traveling protagonist, Billy Pilgrim, to create a book that deftly illustrates the pointlessness and futility of war. (Also recommended by Vonnegut: Mother Night.)

Now: 5 Sports Stars Who Saw Heavy Combat In The US Military

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The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Back to standard two-day weekends. Oh well. At least Independence Day weekend was fun while it lasted.


1. Really, really fun (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Hopefully, this guy wasn’t in your unit.

2. If you want logistics join the Army (via Terminal Lance)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
If you want robots, join DARPA.

SEE ALSO: 5 insane military projects that almost happened

3. Your medicine will be ready when it’s ready … (via Sh*t My LPO Says)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
… which will be sometime next Thursday.

4. Congratulations on your contract (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
It’s a bummer when your family celebrates that they’ll only see you half the time for the next few years.

5. Budget cuts are taking a toll (via Air Force Memes and Humor)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
But at least everyone’s spirits are up.

6. Profiles, chits, doctors’ notes, it’s all shamming.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Not sure which service lets you spend your light duty drinking beer in a recliner though. Pretty good reenlistment incentive.

7. You know that even Unsolved Mysteries couldn’t answer that question, right? (via Team Non-Rec)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Warrant Officer’s are like reflective belts. The brass insist they work and everyone else just goes along with it.

8. I want to see these three guys shark attack some young private (via Sh*t My LPO Says).

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
It’s always great when lieutenants explain the military to senior enlisted.

9. It gets real out there (via Team Non-Rec)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
I mean, they don’t even have napkins for their pizza.

10. Patriotic duty

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Say your pledges, protect America, see peace in our time.

11. They specialize in anti-oxidation operations and haze grey proliferation.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
That’s a fancy way of saying they scrape rust and spread paint.

12. Never forget (via Air Force Memes and Humor)

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Clearly, this man behind the stick of an F/A-18 is a good idea.

13. You want their attention? Better have some Oakleys and cigarettes that “fell off a truck.”

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
This is also what the E4 promotion board looks like.

NOW: The 6 most shocking military impostors ever

WATCH: Vet On The Street

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9 Military Categories The Oscars Forgot

Sure, the Academy Awards have categories like “Best Actor” and “Best Adapted Screenplay,’ and, yes, military movies like “American Sniper” and “The Imitation Game” are in the mix this year. But all of that falls somewhat short of capturing the true military cinematic essence that this year’s crop of films produced. Here are nine categories that the Oscars forgot and the winners in each:


1. Best Misuse Of Government Property By A Leading Man: Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”

Because Bradley Cooper’s Chris Kyle was a super badass sniper, he had a phone so that generals and even the president could call him to tell him who he should put the crosshairs on next. What did Cooper’s Kyle use the phone for?  To call his wife, usually right before a firefight was about to break out.  And once it did he wouldn’t hang up (in order not to alarm her or anything).

2. Best Use of Kristen Stewart’s Bitch Face By An Actress In A Leading Role: Kristen Stewart, “Camp X-Ray”

Kristen Stewart plays a U.S. Army guard at Gitmo who develops a sympathetic relationship – through a prison door – with one of the detainees.  But her sympathy is buried under the same expression she’s used in every movie she’s ever been in, that signature bitchy pouty girl face, so it’s hard to tell when she’s sympathetic and when she’s bored or pissed off. But, hey, like B.B. King said, “You can play just one note if it’s the right one.” We say bravo, Ms. Stewart.

3. Best Supporting Actor In A Role About The Fact All Vets Are Doomed: Brad Hawkins, “Boyhood”

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

Brilliantly filmed over a 12-year period, director Richard Linklater’s gem focuses on the life of a sometimes single mom and her two kids.  The mom’s third love interest is a returning vet who’s just back from Iraq. He seems like a nice, well-adjusted guy, but after a while he’s holding down a job as a prison guard and sitting on the front porch guzzling beer and yelling at the son about being a good-for-nothing, which is to say they got it exactly right because that’s what always happens to returning vets.

4. Best Portrayal Of The Perils Of Having Sex In Combat: “Fury”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uAKbSLsXxg

Brad Pitt’s Sherman tank crew stumble across the home of a war-weary German family with a hot daughter, and they enjoy a bit of normalcy. One of the crew hooks up with the daughter, and once they’re done the crew leaves and minutes later the family’s house gets blown to smithereens by an air strike.

5. Best WTFO? Moment: “300 – Rise of Empires”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb6w6Qz55jc

In the middle of a kick ass war-at-sea between ancient sailing ships, General Themistocles suddenly produces a horse that he rides all over the deck while slashing and stabbing his foe.  But it really gets good when the horse – without any hesitation – gallops through flaming wreckage, leaps into the water, and then jumps onto an enemy ship where Themistocles continues his savaging of the enemy – truly the year’s best WTFO? military movie moment.

6. Most Dramatic Flame-out Of A Military Movie Franchise: “Jarhead 2”

Three words: Straight. To. DVD.

7. Best Actress In A Role About The Joys Of Being A Military Mom: Michelle Monaghan “Ft. Bliss”

Michelle Monaghan plays a single mom soldier who returns home after 15 months in Iraq only to find that her 6-year-old son has forgotten who she is.  (What, did the rest of family hide all the pictures of her? And no Skype?) About the point her son starts to warm to her she’s sent back to Iraq because that’s how the Army rolls.  If the military wanted you to have a kid they would have issued you one.

8. Most Groundbreaking Guerrilla Warfare Sequence: “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”

One of the conniving chimps uses cute chimp moves to mollify two humans just long enough to get one of their automatic weapons and blow them away with it.

9. Best Actor In A Role About The Tortured Souls Of Those In The Intelligence Community: Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5CjKEFb-sM

Cumberbatch plays Alan Turing, the intel genius who knows a thing or two about code breaking.  Cumberbatch’s Turing is at odds with his sexual orientation and anti-social and basically pained by everything in his life – in other words, he’s a lot like most of those in the intel community.

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5 tips that will have her grateful to be your Valentine

If you’re single, it’s a chance to mingle. If you’re “wifed-up,” it’s the time to lay it down. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and everyone has high expectations. If you want yours met, then you best meet hers.


But, guess what: Statistically speaking, you probably haven’t even begun to BAMCIS this date, and just winging it is not acceptable. No worries, brother. We’ve got you covered.

Related: How to make the best steak ever, according to a Marine chef

1. Don’t take her to dinner and a movie.

No one is saying this isn’t a perfectly acceptable date. It is — just not on V-Day, my man. Be a little more original instead of relying on this old standby. Do something interactive, something fun — a date that feels like an adventure.

Basically, you want to plan a date that will make her friends jealous when she tells them about it.

2. Make sure she has the 15th off.

Valentine’s Day often falls right in the middle of the regular work week and not many companies treat it as a holiday. So, do the next best thing and call in for her.

Let her boss know that she’ll be busy recovering from the date you’ve got all planned out and that she’ll need the entire day in order to get back to reality.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
D’awww, so sweet.

3. Don’t let her get hungry.

If you don’t already know, learn this now: If she is hungry, she isn’t happy.

It seems simple enough, but your date is likely privy to dropping hints and subtleties. You, being accustomed to overt statements and barked orders, might miss these clues, creating a situation where she seems mad for no reason at all.

It’s not what you did, it’s what you didn’t do!

You didn’t provide snacks. Bring tasty treats and she’ll able to focus on how amazing her Valentine is. Also, don’t watch her eat.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Yum yums. Trust.

4. Keep the drinks flowing.

This one seems obvious, however, it can be overdone. This tip requires a nuanced touch and everyone is different with regards to tolerance. Stick to one drink per hour and make sure she enjoys them. Find out her favorite fruit, smash it up, add some sugar, drain through a sieve, add some good vodka, and finish with equal parts champagne.

Garnish with the same fruit and some mint and boom, you just made her new favorite drink. If this seems too complicated, just get champagne. Everyone likes champagne.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Yep, that’s the one.

Also Read: 15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

5. Get her out of her norm.

If she’s a city girl, rent a cabin in the hills. If she’s a country girl, give her a night on the town. The idea is to get her out of her comfort zone and to be her comfort simultaneously.

If you create a situation where she is experiencing new things, great! But make sure she knows you have everything taken care of. If you plan on ending up in a hot tub, bring her a bathing suit. If you’re going hiking, pack her some boots.

The ideas are endless and the guidelines are simple. Whatever you plan to do, be prepared and make sure she doesn’t have any responsibilities aside from enjoying the ride.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends.

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The 12 most iconic military recruiting spots of all time

Military recruiters have to convince normal people that their best option for the future is signing a multi-year contract for a job with workplace hazards like bombs, bullets, and artillery. And since many people aren’t eligible to serve, the service branches need a lot of people coming into recruiting offices.


To make recruiters’ jobs a little easier, each branch has an advertising budget. Here are some of the most iconic commercials from that effort.

1. “The Climb” (2001)

With arguably the best uniforms, awesome traditions, and swords, it’s no surprise that some of the best commercials come out of the Marine Corps. “The Climb” reminded prospective recruits that yes, becoming a Marine will be hard, but it’s worth it.

2. “Rite of Passage” (1998)

Some commercials stop making sense after the era they were written in. The idea of climbing into a coliseum to fight a bad-CGI lava monster may seem like an odd advertising angle now, but it was rumored to be pretty effective at the time.

3. “America’s Marines” (2008)

Some videos target adventure nuts, while some go after aspiring professionals. This one targeted people who wanted to be part of a long-standing tradition. It also reminded people that Marines get to wear some awesome uniforms.

4. “Army Strong” (2006)

“Army Strong” was an inspiring series of advertisements, though it opened the Army to a lot of jokes (“I wanted to be a Marine, but I was only Army Strong”).

5. “Army of One” (2001)

“Legions” was part of the “Army of One” campaign. Though “Army of One” brought recruits into the Army during the early years of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars, it never quite made sense to professional soldiers. In the Army, soldiers are schooled daily in the importance of teamwork and selfless service. During basic, they’re even required to be with another recruit at all times, so what is an “Army of One”?

6. “Be All That You Can Be” (1982)

The slogan “Be all that you can be,” sometimes written as, “Be all you can be,” was one of the Army’s longest-running slogans and most iconic campaigns. The jingle is as dated as the video technology in the video, but some soldiers went from their enlistment to their retirement in the Army under this slogan.

7. “Footprints” (2006)

One of the Navy’s best ads focused on some of the world’s best warriors. “Footprints” manages to highlight how awesome Navy SEALs are without showing a single person or piece of equipment.

8. “A Global Force for Good” (2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3wtUCPWmeI

Though popular with recruits, the slogan for this recruiting drive ended up being unpopular with the Navy itself. Much like the Army with its “Army of One” slogan, the Navy dropped “Global Force for Good” after only a few years.

9. “Accelerate Your Life” (early 2000s)

“Accelerate Your Life” commercials were always full of sexy imagery. From fighter jets, helicopters, fast boats, automatic weapons, and camouflage, just about everything was tossed in. Like the commercial Air Force campaign “We have been waiting for you” below, dating the commercial to an exact year is tough, but the campaign began in 2001.

10. “Air Force: I Knew One Day” (2014)

“I Knew One Day” is an odd title for this commercial, but it’s not bad as a whole. It puts a face on the airmen who crew the AC-130, perform surgeries, or pilot Ospreys, and it tells recent high school and college graduates that they can become the next face of these jobs as well.

11. “We Have Been Waiting For You” (early 2000s)

With the tagline “We have been waiting for you,” the Air Force aimed to bring in recruits for all the jobs in the Air Force that weren’t about flying. Since two of the ads they released starred pilots, it seems like they weren’t trying that hard. While it’s hard to pin down the exact year this commercial was released, the “We’ve been waiting for you,” line began showing up in 2001.

12. “Science Fiction” (2011)

The Air Force is proud of its technological advantages on the battlefield, and it made a series of commercials comparing themselves to science fiction. The commercials were critiqued for including a lot of things Air Force technology couldn’t do, but they did highlight actual missions the Air Force does using technology similar to, though not as advanced as, what is featured in the commercial.

MORE: The US military took these incredible photos in just one week-long period 

AND: Here’s What An Army Medic Does In The Critical Minutes After A Soldier Is Wounded 

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10 symbols of NASA’s amazing legacy

From a one-man capsule to the space shuttle, here are ten facts about America’s space program that will remind you of NASA’s amazing history and the legacy of dedication and service on the part of all who’ve worked there over the years.


6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Wally Schirra was the only one of the Mercury 7 astronauts to fly in all three of NASA’s ‘Moon Shot’ programs (Mercury, Gemini and Apollo). Alan Shepard flew in Mercury and Apollo, but not in Gemini. Gus Grissom was involved in all three projects, flying in Mercury and Gemini, but he was killed during a pre-flight simulation in his Apollo 1 capsule, so he never actually flew in the Apollo program. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Gus Grissom was the only Mercury astronaut to give his capsule a name: Molly Brown. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Alan Shepard used a modified six iron during the Apollo 14 mission in 1971. NASA planners were unaware that he’d carried the device with him on the mission. Shepard later presented the folding club to comedian Bob Hope, an avid golfer beloved by the military. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
President Bill Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton are the only First Couple to watch a shuttle launch in person. They watched John Glenn’s return to Space on STS-95 on October 29, 1998 from the Kennedy Space Center. President Obama had planned to watch the shuttle Endeavour lift off on its final mission, STS-134, on April 29, 2011, but that launch was delayed. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Astronaut Kathy Sullivan was first U.S. woman to perform a spacewalk, accomplishing the feat during the shuttle Challenger’s mission (STS-41G) in October of 1984. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Norm Thagard became the first American astronaut to ride aboard a Russian Soyuz rocket when he joined two Russian cosmonauts in blasting off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakstan on March 14, 1995. The Mir 18 mission lasted 115 days. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
On Feb. 9, 1995, Bernard Harris, payload specialist aboard STS-63, became the first African-American to walk in space. This photo shows Harris and mission specialist C. Michael Foale in the airlock chamber just before exiting the shuttle. (NASA.gov)

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
The shuttle Columbia flew 28 flights (including the first shuttle mission), spent 300.74 days in space, completed 4,808 orbits, and flew a total of 125,204,911 miles. The shuttle met a tragic end in 2003 when it was destroyed on re-entry, killing all seven astronauts aboard.

 

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Pushing out the boundaries of space exploration has taken a human toll. Eighteen NASA astronauts have died in the course of carrying out the mission: three on Apollo 1, one on X-15-3, seven on Challenger, and seven on Columbia.

 

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The 13 Funniest Military Memes Of The Week

It’s Friday, so that’s good. But it’s three weeks since the military’s last pay day and we all know you’re staying in the barracks this weekend. While you’re crunching on your fast food and waiting for your video games to load, check out these 13 military memes.


Real guns are super heavy.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
The assistant gunner has to carry 300 extra rounds, nearly a pound of weight.

It’s guaranteed that this was a profile pic.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

Maybe if we just taxi it near the maintenance chief really slowly, he’ll tell us if it’s okay.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
That’s why pilots just fly the d*mn thing.

 Don’t use flashbangs near the uninitiated.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

Coast Guard couldn’t make it. They were super busy helping the TSA foil terrorists.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
The soldier can brag about that pushup if he wants, but it won’t count with his feet that far apart.

Just salute, better to be laughed at than shark attacked.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
But really, why does an anchor outrank a crow? Navy Ranks are weird.

But hey, at least they don’t have to wear PT Belts.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Both groups also get into adorable shenanigans while everyone is working.

 Be afraid, be very afraid.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
It’s all fun until she takes away your breath with a Ka-Bar through the ribs.

That’s why they have planes.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
You don’t need to run when you can project force from those comfy chairs.

Notice the National Guard sticker on the cabinet?

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
You’re going in well after the Marines. Judging by that recruiter’s lack of a deployment patch, you might never go.

Whatever, the Marine is the only one working right now.

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
He’s collecting intelligence. VERY detailed intelligence.

The sweet, sweet purr of the warthog

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
BRRRR is just how they clear phlegm from their throat and enemy fighters from the ground.

You start off motivated …

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Just wait until you leave the retention office and realize you re-upped.

NOW: The Nazis had insane ‘superweapon’ ideas that were way ahead of their time

OR: Check out 13 more funniest memes of the week

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4 crimes you learn to commit in the military

We’re not saying everyone in the military does these things, just that it’s almost impossible to complete an enlistment without someone either encouraging you, or even teaching you, to:


1. Commit petty theft

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

“Gear adrift is a gift” and similar maxims are just cute ways of saying that it’s sometimes okay to steal. But it’s not. There’s no law that says it stops being government property or someone else’s personal property if they forgot to lock it up or post a guard.

This includes “acquiring” needed items for the squad by snatching up unsecured gear or trading for someone’s off-the-books printer. We know you have to get your CLP, but at least try to get some from the armorer before turning to theft.

2. Smuggle alcohol through the mail

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
If their breath never smells minty fresh, maybe get suspicious of their constant mouthwash use.

It’s only legal to ship alcohol through the United States Postal System if you have a license or if it’s in a product like mouthwash. Of course, that mouthwash isn’t supposed to be 80 proof.

But every time a unit gets ready for deployment, the veterans start talking about the super illegal practice of asking family members to pour vodka into empty mouthwash bottles, mix in a few drops of blue and green food coloring, and send it to the base in the mail. Many of the old timers are just making jokes, but it still spreads the knowledge of the tactic. (Which this article also does. Crap.)

3. Lie on federal forms

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
The Defense Travel System is reasons 1-3 that no one should ever re-enlist. (Photo: U.S. Air National Guard Master Sgt. Christopher Botzum)

Let’s be honest, perfectly filled out Defense Travel System vouchers and unit packing lists are the exception to the rule. Sometimes, this is because it’s hard to track every little change in a connex’s contents or a trip. But other times, it’s because units on their way out the door on an exercise or deployment are willing to put whatever they need to on the paperwork to get it approved.

It’s an expedient way to get the mission done, but it’s also a violation of Title 18 United States Code 1001, which prohibits false claims to the federal government. Of course, no one is going to prosecute when a connex shows up with three more cots than were on the list, but don’t listen to the barracks attorney telling you that the per diem is higher if you just change this one thing in DTS.

4. Abuse prescription medication

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry
Perfectly legal in training and combat, actually a crime when using it to avoid a hangover with a prescription. (Photo: U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Nicholas Farina)

Most troops aren’t out there injecting illegally acquired morphine, but most people would probably be surprised to learn that intravenous saline is a prescription medical device (yeah, saltwater in a bag). So are those 800mg Motrins.

And teaching a bunch of troops to give saline injections to each other does help them save lives in combat, but it also prepares them to tack an extra criminal charge onto their alcohol-fueled bender when they get home and stick themselves with a needle to try to avoid getting hungover (which, seriously guys, stop giving yourselves IVs while drunk).

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