If the E-4 mafia, those pesky 2LTs, and the old Command Sergeant Major were wrestlers, what would their gimmick be? It’s difficult for longtime wrestling fans to avoid comparing their fellow servicemembers and veterans to wrestling personalities.
Each rank, be it officer or enlisted, comes with a group of qualities that perfectly fit in the world of pro wrestling/sports entertainment. WWE is such an advocate for the military (and vice versa), and with Wrestlemania kicking off in Dallas this weekend, it seems fitting to use WWE superstars to describe your pay grade.
Young Enlisted (E-1 to E-3)
The Ultimate WarriorActive and rambunctious, the Ultimate Warrior was known for his signature face paint, ring entrance, and infectious energy as he performed in front of thousands of fans around the world. Coming out of initial training, many young service members are full of energy, fit to fight, and looking to take on the world. Young privates feel they can accomplish anything thrown their way. Although, much like the Ultimate Warrior’s interviews and promos, they can also speak a lot of nonsense.
Specialists/Senior Airmen (E-4)
Jake “the Snake” RobertsWith the wisdom of a sergeant but the responsibilities of a private, members of the E-4 mafia are cerebral and hypnotic as they slither their way out of details and play mind games with authority figures. Like a good E-4, Roberts had the smarts to avoid the dirty work, but the skills to achieve greatness when he wanted to.
Junior NCOs (E-5 to E-6)
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin
The Texas Rattlesnake was confident, brash and would stomp a mud hole on anyone who crossed him. Those new stripes make young NCOs feel like the baddest SOB in the command. They have a sense of confidence and even stand up to authority just like Stone Cold would do to WWF owner Vince McMahon by giving him the Stone Cold Stunner. Junior NCOs are also masters at double fisting beer cans. Give them a hell yeah!
Senior NCOs (E-7 to E-8)
The first thing senior NCOs have in common with Mick Foley is the split personalities: Nice one minute, intense the next. Whether he was Cactus Jack, Dude Love, or Mankind, Mrs. Foley’s baby boy is one of wrestling’s most iconic figures. He put his body on the line every night for 20 years and just like Senior NCOs, his body has taken a pounding over the years.
They may have throbbing knees, sore backs, and carry a few extra pounds with age, but they are still tough to take the pain and keep fighting. Watch 1998’s King of the Ring “Hell in a Cell” match to see the legend of Mick Foley.
CSM/Senior Master Chief (E-9)
“Nature Boy” Ric Flair“To be the man, you have to beat the man” WOOO! The CSM is styling and profiling as the guardian of the colors. Our E-9s have put in many years of hard work and service. It’s ok to flaunt a little bit now like the Nature Boy. And believe me those $600 alligator-skinned shoes are staying off the grass.
Dwayne “The Rock” JohnsonBefore he was one of Hollywood’s A-listers, The Rock was a rank-and file wrestler working his way to the top of the card as “Rocky Maivia” when he debuted in 1996. Before they were Warrants Officers, they were enlisted Soldiers and NCOs paying their dues.Today, The Rock only returns to the ring when it is time for ‘Mania. He is rarely seen and only shows up before a big event. Sounds like our lovable warrants.
Lieutenants/Captains (O-1 to O-3)
Roman Reigns thinks he is ready for increased responsibilities. Roman has the look, the tools and the family lineage to make him a great wrestler. However, he lacks the experience and hasn’t paid his dues. Our L-Ts are groomed for greatness, and they may great one day, but are not ready to be the main event. L-Ts still have much to learn.
Field Grade Officers (O4 to O5)
John Cena lives by the slogan “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect.” This is the motto of field grade officers. After 15 years, they are at the top of their game. Just as Cena is either loved or hated by wrestling fans, with field grade officers,Some people love them and some people hate them.
The UndertakerExcept for maybe Hulk Hogan, the Undertaker may well be the most legendary wrestler of all-time. His presence is menacing as he looms in the shadows only to appear when we least expect it. The mere sight of that full bird brings a level of intimidation among the formation. With that eagle comes great power.
The Undertaker also had his unsettling manager Paul Bearer, who carried an urn to the ring, at his side at all times. The Colonel makes sure his Executive Officer or Aide is present at all times carrying the powerful OD green notebook.
Generals (O-7 to O-10)
Vince is the chairman and CEO of the WWE. He is the boss, the general. Bad idea to cross him. That’ll get you fired.