Little Debbie snacks, once an indirect victim of the COVID-19 pandemic, are finally back in Commissaries. Soccer teams and lunch boxes everywhere, rejoice. For those unfamiliar with the beloved, shelf-stable baked treats, Little Debbie is the brand that brings us Nutty Buddy, Oatmeal Creme Pies, Honey Buns, and of course, pure childhood joy.
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In 2022, family-owned McKee Foods Corp., makers of the Little Debbie line of prepackaged sweets, couldn’t keep their products on Commissary shelves due to supply costs. Nothing personal, it was just business. McKee was just one of many companies struggling with post-pandemic logistical issues.
“During the tail end of the COVID-19 pandemic, McKee Foods, like many companies, faced severe challenges that impacted our business,” Mike Gloekler, a spokesperson for the company, told Stars and Stripes. “As our business has recovered, we have increased our production capacity and resolved previous staffing issues, allowing us to once again dedicate the resources necessary to satisfy this demand.”
Whatever, man. We’re just glad you’re back.
And to celebrate, here’s a list of Little Debbie’s works.
13. Powdered/Frosted Mini Donuts
I know I talked Little Debbie up in the introductions here, but something has to be at the bottom of the list and these donuts are it. While there’s something to be said for stuffing a whole powdered mini donut in your mouth and then filling it with milk, that just isn’t feasible all the time. Also, the milk isn’t penetrating that chocolate shell, so it only works on the powdered ones.
Combine that with the fact that the powdered sugar will get everywhere—seriously everywhere, like sand at the beach everywhere—and this snack just becomes a hassle.
12. Zebra Cakes
Some of you hate me already for this, but while Zebra Cakes might be one of Little Debbie’s most recognizable products, they are far from its best. This is a fluffy cake dipped in the same kind of shell that protects its donuts from milk. Sure it keeps the cake fluffy, but at what cost?
This cake is for people who think vanilla is the pinnacle of flavor. Besides, almost all of Deborah’s cakes are some version of this. Is it better because of the Zebra stripe? Hell no. At least Christmas Tree Cakes have sugar sprinkles. Debbie can do, and has done better.
11. Oatmeal Creme Pies
This was Little Debbie’s original offering, and I’m not saying they’re bad, all I’m saying is that we don’t have to respect our elders just because they’re old. I’m pretty sure the idea of “respecting our elders” only came about because chances were good they’d fought a world war.
And while the Oatmeal Creme Pie was around for World War II, has anyone ever been pleasantly surprised to bite into an oatmeal cookie thinking it was something else? No. Your grandma likes Rum Raisin ice cream, but that doesn’t mean we have to respect that.
10. All the Other Creme Pies
This is for all the people who love a good creme pie but don’t love oatmeal. Little Debbie offers many different creme pies: Chocolate Chip, Jelly, Birthday Cake, Banana Puddin’, Boston Creme Pie, Peanut Butter, and, for some reason, Raisin.
9. Cosmic Brownies
More calories than a serving of McDonald’s fries. More sugar than a Hershey bar. If you’re coming to brownies looking for a healthy snack, the problem is you. Cosmic Brownies provide exactly what a brownie is supposed to be: dense chocolate. If you hippies want lightweight cakes with just one kind of sugar, go to your local Sprouts for a brownie fix.
But we all know you’ll be coming back to Little Debbie.
8. Nutty Buddy
Nutty Buddy was first introduced in 1959, and while the chocolate-peanut butter combo had been well-known for decades by then, Little Debbie added a wafer, giving it a crunch that—frankly—Reese’s is missing. These are lighter than Reese’s and bigger than Kit-Kat. The company also makes a cake and a creme pie version of Nutty Buddy (which are both elite).
7. Swiss Rolls
If anyone has only ever had one Little Debbie snack cake, it was probably a Swiss Roll. And we get it. These light, Devil’s Food-like chocolatey treats have been around since before the Vietnam War for a reason.
This is a sweet treat that not only tastes like chocolate cake, it crumbles like chocolate cake, has the icing you’d expect from a chocolate cake, and comes in a compact package that’s perfect for your grade-school soccer team’s athletic recovery. If there was an official cake of childhood, it’s the Swiss Roll.
6. Honey Buns
A coffee mug salute to the frosted cake that can legitimately double as a satisfying early morning meal. Popping this one in the microwave for a few seconds will change the way you think about eating cake for breakfast.
5. Strawberry Shortcake Rolls
Actual strawberry jam without too much sugar sweetness. No protective shell, just a bit of frosting to hold this dense, tasty treat togther. No notes.
4. Donut Sticks
For all the smack I talk about the protective frosting shell that envelops Small Deborah’s cake offerings, in the case of her Donut Sticks, it actually becomes a huge plus. Let’s talk about what donut sticks are for: dunking in coffee. You can’t have a donut that immediately loses structural integrity in coffee.
Even if you’re about to shove the whole thing in your mouth, it won’t make it past your gums if it’s soggy and falling apart. Little Debbie’s frosting-reinforced donut sticks not only ensure every bite of coffee-dipped donut gets to your gullet, it will absolutely hold, even if you dip or double-dip every sugary bite.
3. Chocolate Cupcakes
Some of you might be incensed that these are a rip-off of Hostess’ Chocolate Cupcakes, right down to the vanilla swirl. And you’d be correct. Hostess has been making cupcakes since 1919. But have you considered that no one cares if Hostess was first when Little Debbie is so obviously doing these better? Go try one of each. This article will still be here when you get back.
How was that Hostess sawdust cake? Bend the knee to Little Debbie.
2. Star Crunch
There is literally no dessert or snack like a Star Crunch. It is both crunchy and chewy. It features chocolate and caramel, and comes out with the buttery notes of a Milky Way bar, but without any of the sickly sweetness. Do you know why Hostess and Tastykake don’t make a competing version of a Star Crunch? Because they can’t.
1. Fudge Rounds
Fudge Rounds are chewy chocolate fudge cookies with chocolate filling and chocolate icing without ever being too chocolately or too sweet. Imagine how difficult it must have been to create a cocoa-flavored chocolate fudge cookie without overdoing it. Cliff Dildy, the Little Debbie employee who first conceived the Fudge Round, is the J. Robert Oppenheimer of prepackaged cake desserts.
