The 7 biggest 'Blue Falcons' in US Military history - We Are The Mighty
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The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

Blue falcons are a fixture of military life. Typically, they satisfy themselves with ratting other troops out for minor offenses or being overly strict on physical training tests. Some blue falcons take the art form to a whole other level, affecting full military operations or giving away needed equipment. Here are seven instances of blue falconism that literally made history.


1. One Confederate general routinely trolls another by sending away troops during key engagements.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Naval Historical Center

Lt. Gen. Edmund Smith was in charge of Confederate troops in Louisiana, Arkansas, and some of the surrounding area. He was much more cautious than a politically connected general under his command, Lt. Gen. Richard Taylor. The two butted heads and Smith would routinely take troops away from Taylor just before Taylor committed forces to seize an objective.

The worst example was in the Spring of 1864. The Union Army was moving up the Red River in Louisiana, taking territory and confiscating cotton. Taylor saw the stretched Union forces and sent his troops south to attack their weak points, ignoring orders from Smith to fall back to Shreveport.

Taylor’s advance was successful, defeating Union forces at Mansfield and Pleasant Hill before pinning them in at Alexandria. Everything was in position for Smith and Taylor to defeat the remaining enemy forces in the region. Instead Smith ordered most of Taylor’s army away, allowing 30,000 Union soldiers to escape. These troops would link up with Gen. William Sherman during his march to the sea at the end of that year.

2. George Washington tricks Congress into drastically overpaying him.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

Washington famously denied a salary as commanding general of the Continental Army, telling Congress that he would do the job if America would just cover his expenses. Not so famously, he then promptly racked up a bill of expenses worth nearly $450,000, over 28 times what a major general would have made in the same period. He even staged a massive birthday bash while his army was starving in the snow. (In Washington’s defense on this count, he was trying to get food from local sources for the men.)

Of course, some of the other generals were fine with this since they dined with Washington. His close friends tipped the scales at war’s end at over 200 pounds each. Gen. Henry Knox led the way at 280. Washington himself gained 30 pounds.

3. Eisenhower’s chief of staff places a losing $230,000 bet on his boss’s behalf without permission.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

After Operation Torch drastically increased the number of Allied forces in North Africa, Allied generals Bernard Montgomery and George Patton were racing each other to take key cities from the Germans. Eisenhower was still pressuring them to go faster and his chief of staff visited Montgomery at his headquarters. There, Montgomery asked if he could get a B-17 if he took Sfax quickly. Maj. Gen. Walter Bedell Smith told him that Eisenhower would give Montgomery whatever he wanted if he took Sfax by April 15.

Smith reportedly thought it was a joke. but Montgomery was famous for his gambling so this was a reckless assumption. Montgomery took the city on April 10 and immediately began demanding payment from the confused Eisenhower who was just learning of the wager. Eisenhower was screwed by Smith’s promise and gave up the bomber. But, Montgomery was being a bit of a blue falcon himself by demanding payment. It soured relations between him and Eisenhower and Montgomery’s boss would go on to berate Montgomery for the “crass stupidity” of his actions.

4. MacArthur continues to attack U.S. veterans even after ordered by the president to stop.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

In 1924, Congress put together a bonus package for veterans of World War I to be paid in 1945. When the Great Depression throttled the economy, veterans got antsy for the money. 15,000 of them descended on Washington, D.C. in 1932 to demand early payment. A bill to pay out early passed the House but was soundly defeated in the Senate in a 62 to 18 vote.

The veterans continued to camp and march in the city until July 28 when the police tried to force them out. The police failed to take the camp but killed two veterans in the attempt. President Herbert Hoover then ordered the Army to evict the veterans. Gen. Douglas MacArthur and his chief of staff, Maj. Dwight D. Eisenhower, worked with cavalry commander Maj. George Patton to push the marchers and campers across the Anacostia River.

Hoover ordered the Army to halt the advance, but MacArthur pushed his force forwards anyway and attacked until a fire broke out. All 10,000 people in the main camp were pushed out and two babies died. Local hospitals were overwhelmed with the injured from the camps.

5. The Continental Army gets together to blue falcon Benedict Arnold.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Thomas Hart

Maj. Gen. Benedict Arnold was, by all accounts, an outstanding general for most of his time in American service. He won a bloodless victory at Fort Ticonderoga, got France to openly support the Americans through his victory at the Battle of Saratoga, and even once won a decisive naval battle. Throughout all this, he endured multiple wounds for his country.

The whole time though, he was being passed over for promotion due to the political connections of other generals. Also, while Arnold was clinging to life in a New York hospital bed, his boss claimed credit for a surrender that belonged to Arnold. When Arnold complained to Congress that veterans and their families weren’t being fairly treated, he was brought up on charges. A court martial acquitted him of most, but he was found guilty of two counts of dereliction of duty.

6. Benedict Arnold returns the favor by screwing over America.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Of course, Arnold’s response to this treatment set the bar for blue falcons and set it high. Arnold continued correspondence with his friend George Washington, leveraging him for appointments and preferential treatment. Meanwhile, Arnold was preparing to hand as much as he could to the enemy through British Maj. John Andre. Washington gave Arnold command of the forces at West Point, key to the defense of New York.

Arnold promptly tried to sell the fort to Andre for about $3 million in modern dollars, but the plot was discovered. Washington was personally embarrassed, the Army was shaken by the turning of a key general, and much of Arnold’s history was erased from U.S. records. Still, Arnold did get away and join the British Army as a general.

7. Bowe Bergdahl triggers massive searches.

The exact nature of what happened in the desert will probably be known to no one but Bergdahl himself. But even if Bergdahl did just want to walk away from the war and didn’t give any information to the Taliban after his capture, he was still a blue falcon in the eyes of his fellow soldiers.

His departure caused his unit to have to go on increased patrols and missions that soldiers died on. Every operation after that had to include the additional objective of “see if you can find Bergdahl” no matter what the primary objective was. Resources needed in other fights were sent to that patch of desert to search for him.

Sure, he would’ve been hazed a little if he had refused to fight and claimed conscientious objector status, but that’s still preferable to capture by the Taliban, years of imprisonment, and putting your unit in greater danger.

NOW: 11 spies who did the worst damage to the US military

OR: That one time the Army drugged three soldiers and locked them in a room

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos this week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


MARINE CORPS:

Lithuanian soldiers and U.S. Marines from the Black Sea Rotational Force engaged opposition forces in a partnered attack during Exercise Saber Strike at the Pabrade Training Area, Lithuania.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Sgt. Paul Peterson/USMC

Cpl. Tyler R. Garretson, a crew chief assigned to Marine Medium Tiltrotor Squadron 263, monitors the flight line out of the rear of a MV-22B Osprey after completing fast-rope and rappelling training with Marine Corps Special Operations Command, near Marine Corps Air Station New River, North Carolina.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Sgt. Orlando Perez/USMC

ARMY:

A Green Beret, assigned to 3rd Special Forces Group-Airborne, conducts free-fall training in a wind tunnel while a civilian sky dive instructor observes in Eloy, Arizona.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Spc. David Welker/US Army

A U.S. Army Reserve Soldier, assigned to 926th Engineer Brigade, 412th Theater Engineer Command, conducts security operations during a route clearance mission at their annual Combat Support Training Exercise at Fort McCoy, Wisconsin.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Sgt. 1st Class Brian Hamilton/US Army

NAVY:

Sailors participate in a low light small arms training exercise aboard the guided-missile destroyer USS Ross (DDG 71). Ross is conducting naval operations in the U.S. 6th Fleet area of operations in support of U.S. national security interests in Europe.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Robert S. Price/USN

Aviation Boatswain’s Mate (Equipment) 2nd Class Kyle Cawein, from Lake Isabella, Calif., stands by to prepare an aircraft to be launched from the aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis (CVN 74).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Ignacio Perez

COAST GUARD:

Rescue swimmers and aircrewmen from Coast Guard Air Station Cape Cod, Mass., conduct hoist training evolutions.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Petty Officer 3rd Class Ross Ruddell/USCG

Rescue swimmers and aircrewmen from Coast Guard Air Station Cape Cod, Mass., conduct hoist training evolutions.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Petty Officer 3rd Class Ross Ruddell/USN

AIR FORCE:

Team Special Operations Command (SOCOM) Air Force Tech. Sgt. Isreal Del Toro braves the 110 degree heat index during track and field competition for the 2015 Department of Defense Warrior Games on Marine Corps Base Quantico.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: AW2 Staff Sgt. Tracy J. Smith/USAF

U.S. Air Force Senior Airmen Krystalane Laird (front) and Helena Palazio, weapons loaders with the 169th Aircraft Maintenance Squadron at McEntire Joint National Guard Base, South Carolina Air National Guard, download munitions from an F-16 fighter jet that was just landed after a monthlong deployment to Łask Air Base, Poland.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Tech. Sgt. Caycee Watson/Released/USAF

NOW: More incredible military photos

OR: Watch 6 most badass US military test pilots:

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These amazing Spanish-American War photos were found during a recent Navy office renovation

In 2014, archivists from the U.S. Navy’s Naval History and Heritage Command (NHHC) uncovered a rare trove of photos while moving furniture around during an office renovation. The photos were a donation in their backlog, glass prints of 150 images of the Navy during the Spanish-American War and Philippine War that followed.


The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Admiral George Dewey, who led the defeat the Spanish at Manila Bay. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

The photos were taken by Douglas White, a special correspondent of the San Francisco Examiner during the conflict. His photos were uncovered at the beginning of a restoration project of the NHHC facility at Washington, D.C.’s Navy Yard.

“Once it was realized what they had uncovered, there was tremendous excitement amongst the staff, especially the historians,” Lisa Crunk, the head of the NHHC’s photo archives told Navy.mil. “The images are an amazing find, though they were never really lost – they were simply waiting to be re-discovered.”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Captain Dennis Geary of the California Heavy Artillery rides his horse through Cavite in the Philippines. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
American sailors pictured during the Spanish-American war. They are Dave Ireland, Purdy, Tom Griffin and John King. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Apprentice boys pictured aboard the USS Olympia, the flagship of the Asiatic Squadron. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The Spanish Fleet docked at the Suez Canal. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
David Colamaria, Naval History and Heritage Command’s photographic section archivist, looks at a glass plate photograph of Spanish Adm. Pasqual Cervera taken in 1898 or 1899. The photo archives staff found a wooden box containing approximately 150 glass plate photographs depicting scenes from the Spanish American and Philippine Wars. The glass plate photographs were likely prepared by photographer Douglas White, a war correspondent for the San Francisco Examiner during the Philippine War. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Tim Comerford)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Spanish sailors aboard the cruiser Reina Cristina in prayer before battle on April 24, 1898. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
An undated photo show American troops disembarking from a ship onto small boats near Cavite, Phillipines in 1898 or 1899. The photo archives staff found a wooden box containing approximately 150 glass plate photographs depicting scenes from the Spanish-American and Philippine Wars. The glass plate photographs were likely prepared by photographer Douglas White, a war correspondent for the San Francisco Examiner during the Philippine War. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command)

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
This photo shoes the Spanish cruiser, the Castilla, that was lost in the Battle of Manila Bay with 25 men killed and 80 wounded.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The USS Petrel, part of the U.S. Asiatic Fleet during the Spanish-American War.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The USS Raleigh in action against the Spanish in 1898.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The USS Boston, ca 1898. The Boston was in the Battle of Manila.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
An undated photo shows soldiers manning a battle signal corps station during the Spanish American War. (U.S. Navy photo courtesy of Naval History and Heritage Command/ Released)

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos this week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


COAST GUARD:

A crew from Coast Guard Station Mayport trains aboard a 29-foot Response Boat-Small near Ponte Vedra Beach in North Florida.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by BM1 Dillon Smith/USCG

Since 1941, U.S. Coast Guard Air Station San Francisco has guarded more than 300 miles of Pacific coastline.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: USCG

MARINE CORPS:

Sgt. Derek Patrick, a military working dog trainer from Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, demonstrates the capabilities of his military working dog at the fields behind the University of Phoenix Stadium at Glendale, Arizona, Sept. 11, 2015.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Sgt. Cuong Le/USMC

Marines floated an Assault Amphibious Vehicle and Landing Craft Air Cushion to Reserve Craft Beach aboard Naval Base Guam. The Marines are currently on a six-month deployment aboard the USS Germantown.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Lance Cpl. Jacob Snouffer/USMC

A Japan Ground Self-Defense Force soldier and Lance Cpl. Justin Peterson, an infantry riflemen with 2nd Marines, grapple during Exercise Forest Light 16-1 at Camp Aibano, Japan, Sept. 10, 2015.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Cpl. Carlos Cruz/USMC

Marines train Malaysian Armed Forces on the M32 grenade launcher during a Non-lethal Weapons Executive Seminar, Sept. 12, 2015.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Sgt. Erik Estrada/USMC

Marines with India Company, 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, Special Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force—Crisis Response—Central Command, conduct fast rope training from an MV-22 Osprey while deployed to Southwest Asia, Sept. 16, 2015.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Cpl. Leah Agler/USMC

NAVY:

ATLANTIC OCEAN (Sept. 13, 2015) Sailors aboard the guided-missile destroyer USS Gravely (DDG 107) refuel an MH-60R Sea Hawk helicopter during night flight operations. Gravely is underway participating in a composite training unit exercise with the Harry S. Truman Carrier Strike Group.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman L.E. Skelton/USN

ATLANTIC OCEAN (Sept. 15, 2015) An F/A-18F Super Hornet assigned to the Jolly Rogers of Strike Fighter Squadron (VFA) 103, launches from the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class K.H. Anderson/USN

ARMY:

The Army made sure to send its compliments to the Air Force this week. Happy Birthday, U.S. Air Force!

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army

Artillerymen, assigned to the New Hampshire National Guard, with various Soldiers assigned to III Corps and Fort Hood conduct a sling load operation during Operation Granite Viper at Udairi Range, Camp Buehring, Kuwait, Sept. 9, 2015.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by 1st Lt. Benjamin Moreau/US Army

A Soldier, assigned to 7th Infantry Division, practices an Australian style rappel during Operation Yudh Abhyas at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash., Sept. 14, 2015. Yudh Abhyas is an annual, bilateral U.S. Army Pacific-sponsored Theater Security Cooperation Program.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Sgt. Daniel Schroeder/US Army

A Soldier, assigned to 52nd Air Defense Artillery, Eighth Army-Korea, tends to a casualty during Expert Field Medical Badge training on Warrior Base, South Korea.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army

AIR FORCE:

The sun rises prior to the departure of deploying Airmen Sept. 8, 2015, at Little Rock Air Force Base, Arkansas. The Airmen departed in support of contingency operations in the Horn of Africa.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Senior Airman Harry Brexel/USAF

Airmen from Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri, perform a flag detail during Armed Forces Night at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri, Sept. 8, 2015. The pregame ceremonies included a recognition of veterans, wounded warriors, military families, as well as a tribute to fallen service members.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo by Senior Airman Joel Pfiester/USAF

Happy Birthday, U.S. Air Force!

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Airman Magazine/USAF

NOW: More awesome military photos

OR: 17 things you didn’t know about the US Air Force

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The most decorated animals in military history

Military service animals have a longstanding history of taking care of our service men and women overseas without complaint. Maybe that’s because they don’t speak English, or maybe it’s because they’re the best darn soldiers the military has ever seen. Either way, they’re not only adorable, they’re also brave animals who risked life and limb to take care of the people that they loved. Some of the animals on list gave their lives for their country, and some survived the most heinous terrorist attack on American soil. Many have been awarded for their valor.


Check out this list of military animals through history and vote for your favorite ones, whether they be dogs, cats, horses, pigeons, or whatever.

The Most Decorated Animals in the Military

Lists

5 militaries still allowed to drink in a war zone

While the U.S. has ordered its soldiers to remain sober in every major deployment since the 1990s, not all militaries have jumped on the temperance convoy.


Here are five militaries with service members still allowed to drink in a war zone, as long as the mission and security situation permits it.

1. Germany

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Petty Officer First Class Ryan Tabios

Germany is famous for its beer, so it’s not surprising that it allows its soldiers to imbibe a little while deployed. The soldiers are limited two beers a day while at larger bases. The sheer size of the alcohol shipments caused a debate in Germany early in Operation Enduring Freedom, but the booze kept flowing.

2. Canada

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Canadian Army soldiers disembark a U.S. Navy landing craft April 25, 2009 during exercises with the U.S. Marine Corps. Photo: US Marine Corps Chief Warrant Officer 2 Keith A. Stevenson

Before Canada pulled out of Afghanistan, they offered their troops two beers and a half bottle of wine while at well-secured locations.

3. Italy

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Italian Army

Italians receive small quantities of alcohol in their ration packs and also deployed so much other wine that it flooded the black market near some bases in Afghanistan.

4. France

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Adrian Pingstone

French soldiers on well-defended bases were sometimes allowed to drink during “Happy Hours” and other command-approved events.

5. Romania

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army Sgt. Daniel Cole

Like their French counterparts, Romanian soldiers could drink during specified periods provided they weren’t on duty and didn’t get themselves in trouble.

Articles

8 American military legends who were honored as foreign knights

American military heroes typically spend a lot of time fighting in other countries. The leaders of those countries can give medals or official thanks, but sometimes they induct American warriors into their chivalric orders and turn them into knights. For American citizens the honor comes without the title of “sir” or any of the official perks, but it’s still way better than a challenge coin.


1. Gen. James Doolittle

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikipedia

Medal of Honor recipient and leader of the Doolittle Raid, Gen. James Doolittle also has a number of honorary knighthoods including Knight Commander of the Order of the Bath from Great Britain, the Order of the Condor of Bolivia, and the Grand Order of the Crown from Belgium.

2. Adm. Chester W. Nimitz

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikipedia

The naval hero who commanded the fleets at the battles of Midway, Iwo Jima, Okinawa, and others was named to two foreign knighthoods. First, he was appointed as Knight Grand Cross of the Military Division of the Order of Bath by Great Britain, then Knight Grand-Cross in the Order of Orange Nassau by Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands.

3. Gen. “Stormin'” Norman Schwarzkopf

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army

The rockstar general who led Desert Storm, Gen. “Stormin'” Norman Schwarzkopf was appointed as a Knight Commander of the Order of the Bath by Queen Elizabeth during her visit to the United States in 1991.

4. Gen. Omar N. Bradley

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army

Gen. Omar N. Bradley was a five-star general, World War II and Korean War commander, the first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and the first Chairman of the NATO Committee. For his years of military service, Bradley was made an honorary Knight Commander of the British Empire.

5. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army

General and President Dwight D. Eisenhower has way too many knighthoods to list here, but some highlights include: Knight Grand Cross of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath from Great Britain, Grand Cordon with Palm of the Order of Leopold from Belgium, and the Grand Croix of the Legion of Honor from France.

6. Gen. Douglas MacArthur

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: US Army Signal Corps Gaetano Faillace

Douglas MacArthur retired from the Army in 1937, but returned in 1941 after a request from President Roosevelt. Gen. MacArthur went on to become commander of occupied Japan and of United Nations Forces in Korea. For his World War II service, MacArthur was appointed as a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath of Great Britain.

7. Gen. George S. Patton

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: Wikipedia

A veteran of the Border War with Mexico, World War I, and World War II, Gen. George S. Patton was named to numerous orders including the Order of the British Empire, the Order of Leopold, and the Order of Adolphe of Nassau, among others.

8. President George H. W. Bush

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Photo: George H.W. Bush Presidential Library

World War II naval aviator and former President George H. W. Bush was appointed a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath during a ceremony at Buckingham Palace on Nov. 30, 1993.

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9 infamous KGB assassination attempts straight out of spy novels

It’s well known that the fearsome Soviet spy agency, the KGB, used brutal tactics to eliminate and intimidate rivals.


Legend has it that when Soviet diplomats were kidnapped by terrorists in Lebanon in the mid-1980s, KGB officers kidnapped and killed a relative of one of the perpetrators, mailing body parts to the terrorists to demonstrate why Russia’s enemies shouldn’t poke the bear.

Now-declassified CIA documents reveal the KGB had a special team created exclusively for assassinations. The KGB’s 13th Department was called the “Directorate of Special Tasks” and used “executive actions” or “liquid affairs” (read: targeted assassinations) to eliminate threats to the Soviet state.

The directorate had two special labs that most officers didn’t know about – one for creating unique weapons and explosives, the other for developing new poisons and drugs. Poisons were a favorite for these extra-judicial killings because they attracted less attention and were often confused for natural deaths.

Here are nine KGB assassination attempts that will make you want to run background checks on your friends.

1. Leon Trotsky

Trotsky was a key player in the Bolshevik takeover of Russia in 1918. When Lenin died, many believed he would take over. But it was Stalin who won the succession struggle.

Trotsky criticized the new Soviet state for suppressing democracy and was expelled from the government for his trouble. Eventually, Stalin exiled Trotsky out of the USSR.

 

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
In Soviet Russia, dictator overthrows YOU. (Russian public domain photo)

The Mexico City suburbs became his new home, but the distance couldn’t keep him safe from the death sentence Stalin ordered. In 1940, Trotsky was done in by a Spanish Communist agent with an ice pick.

2. Franz Josip Tito

The World War II leader of Yugoslavia would not give up his country’s hard-fought independence for anything. Tito’s refusal to align himself with the Soviet Bloc frustrated Stalin to no end. So the Soviet dictator decided to get rid of Tito — as he had done with many previous political roadblocks.

The Russians tried to kill Tito using a pneumatic spray of bubonic plague, a box that sprayed poison gas when opened, and 20 other ways to end the Yugoslav leader’s life. Tito thwarted so many of Stalin’s assassin attempts , he had to send a letter to Moscow that read:

‘Stop sending people to kill me… If you don’t stop sending killers, I’ll send one to Moscow, and I won’t have to send a second.’

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
He only needed the one. (Library of Congress photo)

3. John Wayne

Film historian and author Michael Munn tells the story of John Wayne’s brush with a Soviet assassination order in his book, “John Wayne: The Man Behind the Myth.” Wayne’s anti-Communist statements didn’t sit well with Stalin, who allegedly ordered The Duke’s murder. Two Russian filmmakers, Sergei Gerasimov and Alexei Kapler, warned film legend Orson Welles about the order. Wells told Wayne, but Wayne was also warned by the FBI and stuntman Yakima Canutt, whom Wayne once credited with saving his life.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(publicity photo)

Wayne and a screenwriter friend planned to abduct the assassins, drive them to a beach, and stage a mock execution to pump them for information. The two hitmen turned and worked for the FBI while Wayne moved to a house behind a large wall.

4. Lev Rebet

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Rebet in Auschwitz (Library of Congress photo)

Rebet was a Ukrainian nationalist writer, Nazi death camp survivor, and staunch anti-Communist. He was also the leader of the Ukrainian government for a time. In 1957, Rebet died suddenly of “natural causes” while on a trip to Munich. In 1961, a KGB agent named Bohdan Stashynsky defected to the West and revealed Rebet’s death was an assassination. The weapon he used was a gun that sprayed a cloud of cyanide gas. Stashynsky also killed Rebet’s party boss, Stepan Bandera, with the gas weapon.

5. Georgi Markov

A gray-haired man waiting for a London bus in 1978 would have attracted little attention from passers-by. In this case, that man was Georgi Markov, a Communist defector from Bulgaria who made England his new home. The man next to him dropped his umbrella, hitting Markov in the leg. It hurt, but Markov barely noticed. The man apologized and they both went on their way. Markov died four days later.

His autopsy revealed a pellet in his leg which contained .2 milligrams of ricin, a deadly poison used in chemical warfare and made famous by the show “Breaking Bad.” Vladimir Kostov, another Bulgarian defector, survived a similar fate with the pellet being stuck in his back. He told the world about the attack on Radio Free Europe four days after his brush with death.

6. Georgiy Okolovich

In 1954, Nikolai Khoklov appeared at the door of Georgiy Okolovich, the leader of a Russian anti-Communist group in exile. Okolovich lived in Frankfurt, West Germany, at the time. It must have been quite a shock when Khoklov said:

“Georgiy Sergeyevich, I have come to you from Moscow. The Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union has ordered your assassination.”

But Khoklov didn’t kill him. Instead, the KGB agent defected to the U.S. and revealed (via press conference) the weapon he was supposed to use: a cigarette pack that was actually an electrically-operated, silenced gun that fired cyanide rounds.

7. Nikolai Khoklov

In retaliation for his defection and failed assassination of Okolovich, Khoklov’s wife was sentenced to forced resettlement in the Soviet Union and Department 13 ordered Khoklov’s own assassination. The weapon would be thallium poisoning, the first use of radiological weapons by the KGB.

Thallium is a soft metal element that was often used as a rat or ant poison but fell into disuse for its potential side effects. When Khoklov’s skin began to crack, he began to lose his hair, and bleed without clotting, he knew what was happening. German doctors irrigated him with antidotes and he survived.

8. Pope John Paul II

When Polish Cardinal Karol Józef Wojtyła was elected Pope in 1979, the Soviet Union was less than thrilled. They believed he was the single greatest threat to their power, especially in Poland. So when the Pontiff was shot and wounded on May 13, 1981, the world looked to more than his attacker, a Turkish man named Mehmet Ali Agca, for answers.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

The Solidarity movement was a direct outgrowth of the Pope’s visit to Poland in 1979 and became a constant irritation in the side of the Soviet leaders. A book detailing the Mitrokhin Archive, a massive trove of Top Secret KGB documents carried over by Vasili Mitrokhin after his defection to the West, shows the KGB carried out this assassination attempt in retaliation for the Pope’s attempt to undermine Soviet regime.

9. Alexander Litvinenko

Litvinenko served with the KGB from 1986 until the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. He continued serving in Russia’s internal security service long after, working to infiltrate organized crime groups. In 1998,  he accused his superiors of ordering the assassination of a Russian media mogul in a public press conference. He was arrested twice for this and personally fired by Vladimir Putin, whom the agent accused of bombing Russian apartments and murdering a Russian journalist to get elected president.

He fled to London with his family and began to write books and advise the Britain’s intelligence community on Russian activities. Allegedly a target of the KGB’s susccessor, the FSB, in 2006 he suddenly became gravely ill, growing weak and unable to walk. When he was hospitalized, specialists conducted a test for radioactive materials and discovered the element Polonium-210, a radioactive element that emits alpha radiation – only damaging to human tissue when ingested.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

The UK’s Health Protection Agency discovered the Polonium poison in Litvinenko’s teacup, 200 times greater than a normally lethal dose.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 4

Congrats to everyone who ETSed this week. For the rest of you, here’s a little soul-balm to get you through any weekend duties you got assigned.


13. It’s fine. All that yelling is just part of your life now (via ASMDSS).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The good news is that you’re not going through the worst yet. It gets WAY worse.

12. Boots are gonna boot (via Coast Guard Memes).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
I mean, being nerdy in uniform is hardly the worst thing that guy could be getting into.

ALSO SEE: This is a perfect example of how ridiculous boot camp is

11. For instance, he could be giving into his newfound alcoholism (via Decelerate Your Life).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Don’t fall, branch. Only 15 more years until retirement.

10. It’s really the only proper way to greet a career counselor (via Decelerate Your Life).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
CS also works well if you happen to have access to it.

9. Junior enlisted have lots of idea (via Decelerate Your Life).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
It’s just that they’re mostly about how to best play screw, marry, kill.

8. The Marine Corps pays you to drive, not to think (via Military World).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Now hit the gas,. I’m about to run out of oxygen.

7. Why are Marines so cranky? They got all them nice sketches and no crayons to color them with (via Sh-t my LPO says).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Bon appetite.

6. To be honest, you only think she looks that good at homecoming (via Sh-t my LPO says).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
And the reintegration thing is her fault. We bought an extra controller and co-op games for a reason.

5. “Driver” and “passenger” sides aren’t good enough for you Navy? (via Sh-t my LPO says)

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

4. Any unit that lets you wear that to work is worth a second chance (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

3. This isn’t going to end well for anyone (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
There are so many better ways to get crackers, man.

2. With that haircut and those tan lines, the ID is pretty superfluous anyway (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Pretty sure those sailors sat down after their neighbors on the beach. No way the girls chose to sit next to them.

1. So, this one’s not technically a joke (via Air Force Nation).

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Just really great advice. D-mnit, finance.

Lists

5 awesome foreign awards US troops are allowed to wear

You may be looking fresh with that stack of awards and badges, but cool flashy medals are reserved for the most prestigious of US military awards.


But how do you stand out at your next unit ball or dress inspection? Rock some foreign ones, that’s how.

Everything on this list is subjective and doesn’t cover every single foreign award authorized for troops.

Even if you do, regulations dictate you’re only authorized to wear one foreign badge with other decorations in order of presentation. The award also falls under the original nation’s regulations and some badges are purely honorary awards (meaning you can’t wear them).

Kuwait Liberation Medal (Kuwait) and Kuwait Liberation Medal (Saudi Arabia)

Ever wondered what was at the bottom right of the medals of your salty senior non-commissioned officer who has been in since the Persian Gulf War? Technically these two are the same medal and technically they’re foreign awards.

The Kuwait Liberation Medal was given by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to members of the armed forces who served in Operation Desert Storm between Jan. 17 and Feb. 28, 1991. It still holds the condition that the troop must have served 30 consecutive days (which gives you only 17 days of wiggle room), but given instantly if they saw combat

The Government of Kuwait awarded one to all members of the U.S. Armed Forces who deployed in support of Operation Desert Shield or Desert Storm between Aug. 2, 1990 and Aug. 31, 1993.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Jamal D. Sutter)

French Commando Badge

No matter what jokes people say about the French military, their commandos are beasts. This badge is adorned by those bad asses and their foreign graduates, and it’s a rare opportunity for American troops to get accepted into French Commando schools.

The training is a grueling three weeks that tests your survival skills in the field. If you can get in and graduate, the badge is one of the coolest designed badges of all American allies.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(Image via Eaglehorse)

Any foreign jump wings

Foreign jump wings are awarded to U.S. parachutists when they complete training in a foreign country under a foreign commanding officer. In order to qualify, you must already have the U.S. Parachutist Basic Badge. Then it all depends on your unit to do a joint jump between American troops and their military.

A lot of the awards have a similar design to the U.S. badge. Hands down, the coolest design goes to Polish Parachute badge. First worn by the Cichociemni (WWII Special Operations paratrooper literally called “The Silent Unseen”) the diving eagle has several variations like those worn by Poland’s GROM and other troops.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Brandon Anderson, 13th Public Affairs Detachment)

Fourragères

These ones are more unit citations than personal awards. This has the easy benefit of just being lucky enough to be in a unit that was awarded a fourragère in the past but it also means that you won’t stand out against anyone who’s also in your unit. These are decorative cords with golden aglets (tips).

Awarded to units that served gallantly in the eyes of French, Belgian, Portuguese, and South Vietnamese armies (Luxembourg also has fourragères but they never authorized foreign units to wear one), the color denotes mentions and honors. Just like with normal unit citations, if you are in the unit when it was awarded, you keep it for life.

Don’t expect to see anyone wearing one outside of a designated unit, though, because these were last given in 1944.

Related: This is why some Marines wear the ‘French Fourragere,’ and some don’t

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(Photo by Sgt. Jon Haugen, North Dakota National Guard Public Affairs)

German Armed Forces Badge of Marksmanship

I didn’t want to make this in a ranking order, but the Schützenschnur (Sharpshooter Rope) is by far the coolest and most sought after. I managed to earn one in gold when I was stationed in Baumholder, Germany.

In order to earn one, you need to perform a marksmanship qualification with German weapons. Round One is pistol, round two is rifle, and round three is heavy weapons. I was given the P8, G36, and MG3 for my qualification.

At the end, you are awarded the badge in bronze, silver, or gold. If you shoot gold with the pistol and rifle but botched the machine gun in bronze, you earn a bronze “Schütz”. You are awarded according to your lowest score. I pulled off gold in all of them.

I will openly admit that I have no idea how I made gold with the MG3 but hey! I’ll take it.

(Screen grab of video by Cpl. Clay Beyersdorfer)

(Bonus) Order of St. Gregory the Great

This one isn’t authorized to wear on a U.S. Military uniform because it goes with an entirely new uniform that comes with it.

The Order of St. Gregory the Great is bestowed upon a soldier by the Vatican and the Pope himself. You are knighted and given the title of Gonfalonier (Standard-bearer) of the Church.

A famous U.S. soldier to have been knighted by the pope was Brevet Lt. Col. Myles Keogh, when he rallied to the defense of Pope Pius IX against the Kingdom of Sardinia. Keogh held his own until his capture.

After release, he was awarded the Pro Petro Sede Medal and admitted into the Order.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
(Painting via wikicommons)

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Dec. 9

So … a certain writer and content curator took two weeks of hard-earned vacation and forgot to ask anyone to fall in on the military memes rundown.


Sorry about that. I’m back now, so here are 13 of the funniest military memes we saw this week (plus two secret bonus ones hidden at the end):

1. After all, if you stay in then you can have all the joy and happiness of first sergeant.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
If the military is the best job I’ll ever have, it might be time to look at an ultra-early retirement.

2. Don’t let them catch you with morale, they’ll steal it immediately.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Leadership is like a bunch of wet blankets.

3. “Hey, guys. Ready to have some fun?”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The best part is that the Coast Guard’s sailing ship is a former Nazi vessel, so those cadets are likely vomiting where Hitler once walked. History!

4. “Just gonna keep sleeping. Thanks.”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
This tactic only works until the sergeant of the guard gets involved.

5. That Central Issue Facility logic:

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

6. My biggest concern is that it appears that wrench is way too large for that nut.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Like, I get that isn’t the point, but I feel like any craftsman should be able to eye wrench v. bolt/nut sizes better than that.

7. Look, it’s not that we don’t want to reward you for finding Taliban for us …

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
… but if we give you a commission, we’ll eventually have to give you a platoon. And there’s no way we’re finding 40 Joes who will follow you.

8. The greatest generation is still trying to get their disability ratings.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Pretty nice of the VA to set up shop inside their 1940s camp, though.

9. Honoring the flag waits for no paint job, not even haze gray.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Of course, left-handed salutes may be worse than missing colors.

10. They’re really cute and adorable poop factories:

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Wish they would use those cutesy paws to clean up their mess.

11. Not sure why he doesn’t melt with all that salt.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The heat of combat is more dangerous for him than any other soldier.

12. Probably a soldier with an unfortunate name …

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
… but possibly a military fan with no idea what is going on.

13. Grumpy cat if it was an airman with a shaving profile:

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Mandatory fun isn’t (unless it’s the podcast).

Secret squirrel bonus 1:

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

Secret squirrel bonus 2:

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history

Lists

5 of the most badass American naval quotes ever

The strength of a nation is directly tied to its naval power and command of the seas. It was for this reason that an island nation like Great Britain was able to create such a vast empire and dominate so much of the world. Today, America follows this naval principle by maintaining freedom of maneuver and overwhelming superiority on the open sea. Since the nation’s birth, the U.S. Navy has fought in epic battles that have changed the course of history. From these events come some of the most badass Naval quotes that we can enjoy today.

1. “I have not yet begun to fight”

This naval quote comes from none other than John Paul Jones. John Paul Jones was America’s first naval hero of the Revolutionary War and is considered the father of the American Navy. In 1779, Jones commanded the 42-gun Bonhomme Richard and led a squadron of five ships attacking British vessels around Ireland, Scotland, and northern England. On September 23, he encountered a large merchant convoy escorted by two British ships of the line. Bonhomme Richard engaged with HMS Serapis and her 50 guns.

Realizing he was outgunned and outmaneuvered with the wind dying, Jones made an effort to lock the ships together. With Serapis in a position of advantage, the British hailed the Americans and asked if they wished to surrender. “I have not yet begun to fight,” was Jones’ reply. Consider this the 18th century naval version of Captain America getting back up during a fight and saying that he could do this all day. Jones’ fighting spirit, and that of his crew, won the day. Though the Bonhomme Richard was lost in the fighting, Serapis was captured by Jones who was knighted by King Louis XVI of France for his valor.

2. “We have met the enemy and they are ours…”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Perry on Lake Erie with his motivational battle ensign (Percy Moran/Library of Congress)

Ever heard of Captain James Lawrence? You can thank him for this quote. During the War of 1812, Captain James Lawrence commanded USS Chesapeake against HMS Shannon in single combat. Chesapeake was quickly disabled by gunfire and Lawrence was mortally wounded. He issued his dying order, “Don’t give up the ship. Fight her till she sinks,” before he was carried below decks. Sadly, the crew was overwhelmed by a British boarding partly shortly thereafter and the ship was surrendered. After his valiant command and death, Lawrence’s words were taken up by his friend and fellow naval officer Captain Oliver Hazard Perry. Perry ordered a large blue battle ensign stitched in white with the phrase “DON’T GIVE UP THE SHIP” and flew it in the Battle of Lake Erie. During the battle, Perry’s flagship, USS Lawrence, was also named for his fallen comrade. At the onset of the battle, Perry fortuitously stated, “If a victory is to be gained, I will gain it.”

A badass quote on its own, Perry was a man on a bloodthirsty mission of revenge against the British. When the battle was won, Perry had the British come aboard his ship to surrender so that they could see the sweat and blood of his men. But, the cherry on top of Perry’s revenge sundae was the battle report that he sent to future president General William Henry Harrison. “We have met the enemy and they are ours; two ships, two brigs, one schooner and one sloop.” For all the fighting and passion that went into the battle, Perry was famously brief with his summary; casual like an action hero not looking back at an explosion.

3. “Damn the torpedoes…full speed ahead”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
Farragut doesn’t care about your torpedoes (U.S. National Archives and Records Administration)

This hardcore quote comes from Admiral David Farragut, a Southern Unionist from Tennessee who opposed secession and the Confederacy at the outbreak of the Civil War. Though he was a veteran of the War of 1812 and the Mexican-American War, Farragut’s loyalty was still questioned because of his Southern roots. However, he was given command of the Union’s Gulf Blockading Squadron and captured the city and port of New Orleans in 1862. For this achievement, he was loyalty was solidified and he was promoted to Rear Admiral, becoming one of the the Navy’s first four active flag officers. On August 5, 1864, Farragut was given the task of taking Mobile, Alabama, the Confederacy’s last major port in the gulf. Though the bay was protected by torpedoes, as tethered naval mines were known then,

Farragut ordered his fleet to charge the bay. When USS Tecumseh struck a mine and sank, other ships halted their charge and turned away from the bay. When Farragut saw this, he called over to one of his ships, “What’s the trouble?” USS Brooklyn replied, “Torpedoes!” “Damn the torpedoes!” Farragut proclaimed and issued orders to continue the charge. “Four bells, Captain Drayton, go ahead. Jouett, full speed.” With the “Leroy Jenkins” type charge, the fleet burst through the defenses and into the bay where they destroyed the Confederate batteries and captured Mobile May. Today, Farragut’s quote is most often paraphrased to, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”

4. “You may fire when you are ready, Gridley”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The age of the Spanish is over. The time of America has come. (Naval Historical Center)

Some quotes are famous because they are linked to important historical events: “Et tu, Brute” with the death of Caesar which led to the end of the Roman Republic or “Molon labe” with the last stand of the 300 Spartans which gave rise to a united Greece against the Persian Empire. In modern history, it can be argued that Commodore George Dewey ushered in the age of American supremacy at the Battle of Manila Bay. Just after midnight on May 1, 1898, Dewey commanded the U.S. Asiatic Squadron through the Boca Brande Channel off the coast of the Philippine Island of Luzon. America was at war with Spain and Dewey was poised to strike a major blow to the Spanish fleet in Manila Bay. Dewey’s flagship, USS Olympia, was to fire the first rounds of the American attack. As dawn broke, Olympia‘s commander, Captain Charles Gridley, waited for his orders as Spanish shore batteries fired harmlessly at the out-ranged squadron. At 5:40 AM, Dewey gave his now-famous order, “You may fire when you are ready, Gridley.” The Spanish fleet was obliterated in the bay and the capital city of Manila was surrendered. This action signaled to the world that the centuries-old Spanish Empire had come to an end and that America had arrived as a major naval and world power.

5. “Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition”

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The words became an early-war battle cry (National WWII Museum)

Military chaplains play a major role in maintaining the morale and welfare of a unit. Regardless of religion, chaplains can motivate troops to push through hardship and win through to victory. Moreover, chaplains are prohibited from actively participating in combat. So, on December 7, 1941, Lt. JG, CHC Howell M. Forgy did everything he could to keep his fellow sailors in the fight. Like the other ships that were still fightable, New Orleans and her crew filled the skies above Pearl Harbor with anti-aircraft fire against the Japanese surprise attack. New Orleans didn’t have any electrical power during the attack, so ammunition had to be carried up from the magazines below decks. After some time, the sailors began to exhaust from the strenuous work. Lt. Edwin Woodhead was in charge of an ammunition line that fed the guns.

“I heard a voice behind me saying, ‘Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition,'” Woodhead recalled. “I turned and saw Chaplain Forgy walking toward me, along the line of men. He was patting them on the back and making that remark to cheer and keep them going. I know it helped me a lot, too.” With enemy bullets and bombs falling from the sky, here comes the chaplain telling you to praise God and keep the ammo moving. Forgy’s words of encouragement helped keep New Orleans in the fight and were later used in a patriotic war song. “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition” was published in 1942 as a response to Pearl Harbor. The 1943 recording by Kay Kyser’s orchestra reached number 1. Gamers may recognize the tune from such titles as BioShock 2, Mafia II, and Fallout 76.

Lists

4 ways to have fun with a Russian spy ship

Let’s face it, nobody likes a tattletale. This is especially true in the military. No, we’re not talking of the folks around your office that snitch on you for not dotting every I or crossing every T. We’re talking maritime tattletales, ships that cruise just off the coast, collecting intelligence. Russia has one loitering near our eastern coast last year, according to Fox News. This ship has been around before and it’s back to its same old tricks.


Sick of it? We are, too. These are our suggestions for how the United States can have a little fun with this tattletale.

4. Buzz ’em.

The Russians have been buzzing American planes and ships for a while. I’m sure there are some Navy aviators dying to dish out some payback. It just so happens that cruising just off the East Coast makes for a very convenient opportunity. Furthermore, why does it just have to be just one buzzing? A P-3 Orion here, a couple of F/A-18E/Fs there — maybe get the F-35C Lightning or P-8 Poseidon in on the action as well. The Russians have run up quite a tab, and it’s time they started paying.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
A F/A-18C Hornet assigned to Strike Fighter Squadron 25 flies supersonic over the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson during an air power demonstration. Maybe it’s time to do this in close proximity to a Russian tattletale. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Benjamin Stevens)

3. Follow it around.

Have an Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer, littoral combat ship, or a Coast Guard cutter just follow the tattletale around. This sort of stuff will undoubtedly make it harder for the tattletale to get what it came for.

2. Give it a little nudge.

The Russians did this to a pair of American ships, the USS Yorktown and the USS Caron, in 1988. It might not be a bad idea to get a little payback for this… with thirty years’ interest, of course.

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The destroyer USS Caron is struck by the bows of a Soviet Mirka II class light frigate as the American vessel exercises the right of free passage through the Soviet-claimed 12-mile territorial waters. There’s been about 30 years of interest piling up for this. (U.S. Navy photo)

1. Board them.

Since this Russian ship is hanging around some American ports, the U.S. Coast Guard can get in on the fun. It wouldn’t be too hard for some enterprising CO to come up with an excuse — we mean probable cause, of course — to board and search the tattletale. Maybe they’re responding to an anonymous tip that there are drugs on board. Or perhaps it’s overdue for a safety inspection. If the CO of the Russian ship mouths off to the Coasties, we’re in for some good times. After all, they can’t be given a pass for contempt of Coast Guard, can they?

The 7 biggest ‘Blue Falcons’ in US Military history
The Coast Guard could help the United States have some fun by having with a boarding party, like the one pictured here during a drill on USS Tarawa. (U.S. Coast Guard photo by Chief Petty Officer Sara Mooers)

So, how would you like to have some nice, non-lethal fun with this Russian tattletale?

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