These 17 hilarious reviews of new MREs from troops in the field will bring back memories
If there’s one thing the DoD can count on soldiers to be bluntly honest about, it’s the food. In 2005, 400 soldiers from Fort Greely, Alaska, were asked to taste test a new menu of Meals, Ready to Eat for anything that might stand out to them.
There were a lot of standouts.
Fort Greely’s finest filled out the evaluation forms, which were then compiled and sent to the DoD office that manages the procurement of field rations. Grunts don’t pull punches. That’s kinda the whole point of their job.
The main result was that U.S. troops got new MREs. Luckily for us, the Smoking Gun got their hands on the actual reviews and some of the comments are gold.
“Cheese spread with bread is never a liked mix. Anger is usually the result.”
16. The prophet:
“I noticed this meal # was 666…I will probably die of a massive heart attack thank you for feeding me possessed food.”
15. The skeptic:
“This donut is just a brownie in a circle with crappy “frosting” what are you trying to pull?”
14. The poet:
“I believe it was the dinner meal that caused this (Chicken and Dumplings), but it sounded like a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.”
13. The biographer:
“I have disliked cabbage since childhood.”
12. The drama queen:
“Oh my god what were you thinking… don’t give cabbage to a soldier ever again even POWs deserve better.”
11. The fortune teller:
“The entree will only be eaten if you haven’t eaten all day.”
10. The PR Rep:
“Maybe change the name ‘Chicken Loaf,’ [it] scares me.”
9. PFC Gung Ho:
“Put Ranch Dressing on everything! Airborne!”
8. The guy who’s wrong about everything:
“F*ck hot sauce [put] gummy bears inside.”
7. Sgt. WTF:
“Tabasco is good in your coffee.”
6. The Obvious Sapper:
“Change the Ranger bar name to ‘Sapper Bar'”
5. The Stream of Consciousness:
“5 Veg ravioli ‘friggin’ sucks. Spiced apple ‘friggin’ rock. Apple cinn. Pound cake taste like cheap perfume. (Friggin). Is chocoletto a foreign Name crap? Pizza anything friggin rocks! Gum is good.”
4. Staff Sgt. TMI:
“This new menu has me using the latrine 3x a day.”
3. Sgt. Maj. No Chance:
“Please bring back cigarettes.”
2. Pvt. Ungrateful:
“Jerky is very, very good. How many years did it take to figure that out?”
1. Sgt. Missing the Point:
“The name should be fiesta breakfast party. That would be funny.”
“The vanilla pudding is so good I ripped it open, Licked the inside and rolled around on top of it like a dog. I prefer not to eat anything called loaf but in this case I made an exception… thank god I DID.”
This is the latest version of the M9 service pistol
The M9A3 offers a bigger magazine, a user-friendly grip, and a host of improvements based on lessons learned from over three decades of service.
This is what the DoD has planned for a zombie apocalypse
It does touch on many of the pop culture elements of zombie lore, but it breaks things down to become applicable to most situations that would similar to an actual outbreak.
Some dirtbags messed with an Iwo Jima memorial — and Marines caught 'em on film
Officials say an Iwo Jima memorial in Fall River was doused with the contents of a fire extinguisher last weekend. Police are investigating
Vets are going to get a new ID card, and they'll be ready for use next month
The new identification card will provide employers looking to hire veterans with an easier way to verify an employee's military service.
This is the story behind the rise and fall of the Islamic State group
The Islamic State group, responsible for some of the worst atrocities perpetrated against civilians in recent history, appears on the verge of collapse.
Now the Iraqi army is going after the Kurdish forces who helped beat ISIS
Iraqi federal and Kurdish forces exchanged fire on Oct. 20, capping a dramatic week that saw the Kurds hand over territory across Northern Iraq.
This Kurdish female militia refuses to stop its hunt for ISIS terrorists
A Kurdish female militia, after helping free the city of Raqqa, said it will continue the fight to liberate women from the extremists’ brutal rule.
The US just sent nearly 1M bombs and missiles to Guam — here's why
Hint: There's this guy a few thousand miles away who's threatening to lob a nuke in their direction.
This is what the 400 US troops in Somalia are actually up to
The US has quadrupled its military presence in Somalia after Al-Shabab killed nearly 300 civilians in two truck bombings. Half of them are special ops troops.